Dietary restrictions and guests

It seems to be fairly commonly accepted that when serving dinner to someone with dietary restrictions you should try to have an option that they can eat. But what about the other way around?

If vegetarians are going to be hosting a party, should they be expected to have meat available for the omnivores? What if it's something that's encouraged by their religious background, such as Hinduism or Mahayana Buddhism? How much of a difference does it make if its a catered event versus being cooked by the hosts themselves?

I always have the option of making a veggie meal in the house, one of my best friends wives is a veggie, but she sure does get the wet end of the stick on that one. I can whip up pasta and sauce or a baked potato or some rice, maybe even a quick cheese pizza at the drop of a hat, but I'm not going to buy tofu or portabella mushrooms if they weren't part of the menu already because planning a full meal for everyone else is both expensive enough and time consuming. You'll eat, nobody leaves my house hungry, but my beef bourguignon will have you kicking your inner hippie for denying yourself and getting stuck with what vegitarianism is: A never ending parade of side dishes. Enjoy your peas.

Now if they invited us over for dinner.......I'd eat before hand and just nosh enough to be polite and then drink all the wine, but that's because she's a terrible cook. Also I'm a mid-level foodie and while some artists can paint a great picture with one or two colors, most people can't. Denying yourself the versitility of meat, poultry and their assorted counterparts (butter, broth, eggs, etc) means that you're leaving out most of the fat, and therefore most of the flavor.

For me, it does make a difference if religion is involved, but the size of the event matters, too.

If my vegetarian/vegan friends invite me over for dinner and it's just them and me, I don't expect them to change their dietary habits for me at all. Sure, feed me a big plate of shredded zucchini drizzled with garlic infused olive oil. The vegetarians outnumber me and they're inviting me into their home. It's a personal, gracious gesture on their part and I don't expect them to make special food just for me. If I'm worried about it not satisfying me, I can eat something ahead of time.

But unless it's a serious religious restriction, I'm going to be pretty disgusted if I get an invitation to a catered wedding reception or something along those lines and every last food option is vegan. It's not that I have a problem with eating vegan food, but that when there are dozens (or hundreds) of guests versus the tiny minority making the food choices, they should be taking everyone's tastes into account, not just their own.

If I went to a catered event that featured food restrictions based on anything other than the guest of honor having a bubble boy level food allergy I'd feel it was a certain morality being thrust on me and I'd be less than pleased.

If you are just inviting someone over for a meal, then whatever you cook should be acceptable. Would you invite them if you did not think you could cater and a free hot meal is always good.

If they are dinner guests, it is always good to find out what they can and more importantly cannot eat regardless of what the situation is, whether it be for a dietary or religious reason.

A full catered event should be prepared for all restrictions, dietary and religious. But it should be on the guests to inform the hosts that they have the restriction. Just turning up and then complaining is not acceptable.

I don't think it should matter whether the choice is due to diet, allergy or religion. It's their choice as to what food they eat, not yours. If you are catering, then you should respect their wishes.

However, if someone has difficulty with a diet, then the host should ensure there is something there that the person can eat. Just dishing up a dish and expecting everyone to eat doesn't work.

The final annoyance I have is when vegan/vegetarian decides to substitute soya or quorn for meat if serving a "meat" dish and expect no-one to notice. For starters, it is obvious and secondly if the person is allergic to soya when they were expecting meat, you have a problem on your hands.

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Originally posted by Zuul

It's not that I have a problem with eating vegan food

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I do. There's rarely enough fat or protein in it to make it satisfying, and since veganism is fundamentally about ostentatious self-denial they're not going to exploit the options they have very well. Or at least, in my experience, they don't. But even the best chef in the world is gonna have a hard time without things like butter or cheese or eggs to work with. A fair amount of what I cook is probably vegan, when I stop and think about it -- the mushroom potstickers I made the other week were, I think, and they were pretty good, but they weren't exactly a meal in their own right.

That said I'd probably just eat first if I was going to a dinner party hosted by vegans. I wouldn't expect someone to go all out to make me a special meal if they're holding a dinner party.

But at a wedding or something, yeah, you should provide a decent, actual meal for your guests, and edamame and salad doesn't qualify. That said, if the couple was from a cultural background that was vegetarian (say, South Indian) then I'd be okay with them planning around the desires of the majority of their guests rather than me. Plus they'd be better at making actual, good food. (And, of course, not vegan. Ovo-lacto vegetarian cooking is a whole lot better than vegan cooking.)

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a big plate of shredded zucchini drizzled with garlic infused olive oil

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Ugh. The sad thing is this really is the kind of thing a fair number of vegans seem to think is a meal.

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Originally posted by Exy

Ugh. The sad thing is this really is the kind of thing a fair number of vegans seem to think is a meal.

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Yeah, I was fed that for dinner many times when I was a teenager. Raw zucchini.

I think the point of inviting someone as a dinner guest is so that you'll be able to feed them something. And if they're vegetarian, kosher only, etc, in my experience the wisest choice is to inquire with all coming parties and plan ahead.

I've had pretty severe dietary restrictions due to, well, a diet, and served amazing, almost entirely vegetarian (not too far from vegan) meals that my meat-eating friends were more than satisfied with. If you visit a veggie/vegan's house and they serve you no protein crap it's probably because they never learned how to cook and you'd be getting a crappy meal with or without meat or dairy.

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Originally posted by Panther Squad

If you visit a veggie/vegan's house and they serve you no protein crap it's probably because they never learned how to cook and you'd be getting a crappy meal with or without meat or dairy.

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The problem is, in my experience, that's all of them.

I'm not a vegetarian, but I don't require meat to feel like I've had a complete meal if the cook knows what she's doing.

Catering a big event that will have a diverse cross-section of guests and only serving tofu-loaf and kale is odd. But I think the quality of the food trumps the content.

I have a Jewish friend who keeps kosher. Her wedding reception adhered to kosher restrictions, but there was a fabulous variety of food, and I certainly didn't feel deprived.

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Originally posted by Exy

Ugh. The sad thing is this really is the kind of thing a fair number of vegans seem to think is a meal.

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I'd rather have that than have vegan versions of normal food. I've had vegan hotdogs and cheeseburgers (no) and even vegan cheesecake (fuck no) and really I'd rather just eat the individual ingrediants by themselves than try and gag down some bizzarro world organic emulsified buckwheat groat and soy paste imitation of real food.

I'm a pescetarian but I have no problem making meat dishes for guests. I can make hearty vegetarian meals and most people amongst my friends, even if they eat meat often eat vegetarian meals so think nothing of it, so although I would, I've never had to accommodate a carnivore.

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Originally posted by Exy

There's rarely enough fat or protein in it to make it satisfying, and since veganism is fundamentally about ostentatious self-denial they're not going to exploit the options they have very well. Or at least, in my experience, they don't.

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As an over-weight vegetarian, I assure you not all of us deny ourselves the pleasure of eating--or exploiting the goodness of fat.

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Originally posted by Oliveloaf

As an over-weight vegetarian, I assure you not all of us deny ourselves the pleasure of eating--or exploiting the goodness of fat.

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There is a huge, huge difference between a veggie and a vegan though. Vegans are insane.

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Originally posted by Cluricaun

There is a huge, huge difference between a veggie and a vegan though. Vegans are insane.

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True. And a lot of them are FULL OF SHIT.

I knew a "vegan" who, as it turns out, periodically rewarded herself for
some accomplishment or another with...SAUSAGE.

Ugh.

She would talk with apparent conviction about how the "horror of death" would be transferred through meat...then relax with a jolt of Jimmy Dean.

That said, I am pretty close to vegan. Very little dairy. Impossible to
really go vegan without some serious lifestyle changes. Not sure I am willing or able.

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Originally posted by Oliveloaf

She would talk with apparent conviction about how the "horror of death" would be transferred through meat...then relax with a jolt of Jimmy Dean.

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:D This sounds like my brother. He's a vegetarian on moral grounds and will quite emphatically and disgustedly talk about the evils of the meat industry...Monday through Friday. On the weekends he eats meat without comment.

Yeah, vegans are committed to a completely nonsensical dietary ideology that certainly can't be justified as providing any of the health benefits they tend to claim.

I'm an omnivore, myself. And rather adamant about making no bones about not wanting to consider going vegetarian full time.

Having said that, I don't see what the Hell is the big deal about any meal, for any number of people, as a one-time thing, that's meatless. So, I don't perceive any need to provide meat when serving for a mixed group of vegetarians and omnivores. Of course, part of this is based on my belief that there are a great deal of perfectly tasty, satisfying and enjoyable meals available to the vegetarian, and even Vegan, palette.

Of course, if the gathering is large enough that there are going to be several dishes, I don't really have a problem with providing both vegetarian and meatless alternatives. (Though, to keep the people on the more restrictive diet from being shortchanged, you have to make sure you make more of the vegetarian dishes than the numbers of vegetarians might suggest. Even without meaning to be jerks, a lot of the omnivore types are going to want to sample everything.)