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I was reading on the interwebz about a family fight that centered around a vow renewal...the couple was planning it as a "destination" vow renewal on a cruise ship, the family thought the whole idea was kind of stupid and didn't really want to spend the $$$. Other than the additional interesting question of whether or not it's cool to ask people to spend vacation time & money on the repeat of your special day, what do you think about the repeat?
I'll preface this by saying that as a single person who's never been married, my opinion might not be worth that much.
I think if you're going to renew your vows, that's awesome, but you do it on your dime and be understanding if other people can't participate for whatever reason. Unlike the original wedding, it's not a milestone in your life (unless, I guess, it's as a part of a big milestone anniversary party or something). It's an indulgence.
ETA: okay, the poll wasn't there when I responded. In a general sense, I think the concept is fine if it's important to the couple in question.
I don't see any reason a single person can't have a legitimate opinion on this. :)
I voted yes but with a huge caveat. It should just be a very small party or a big fun semi-informal party with clear statement that there is no expectation of gifts.
To basically throw a second formal wedding is just a little odd to me and selfish. Just the couple going on a cruise to renew seems very sweet.
A renewal in a Church with 100+ guests, especially if they already had a big wedding, this I would not want to do or be part of. (Well OK the church part is a bad example for me, but I hope you know what I mean.)
I think it's sort of stupid and wouldn't want to do it myself, so I voted against it. If somebody else decided they wanted to do it, that's no problem to me unless they were also expecting me to fork out a bunch of money. :dubious:
No. You had your wedding. You've had your great big ceremonial joining of your lives. I'll buy you some china the first time around, but if you want to act it out a second time all you're getting from me is a polite smile and nod.
Though I voted yes, it sounds like we are in agreement. It sounds like this poll could have used some shades of gray.Quote:
Originally posted by Zuul
NO PEOPLE IT IS YEA OR NAY. DEAL WITH IT.
If want to do it on your own or invite people on your own dime then go ahead. However even then your aren't entitled to everyone else playing along. Once you expect people to pay real money for the privilege you are actively obnoxious.
Man you run a tough poll.Quote:
Originally posted by Sarahfeena
I voted yea, because I can imagine situations where it might be romantic or meaningful (like, say, if the couple has had to deal with some kind of enforced seperation, or come through a trying illness).
"Destination" weddings/vow-renewals/whatever tend to strike me as narcissistic and douchey, unless the hosts are springing for everyone's plane/cruise tickets.
Yeah. If anything, I'd consider a vow renewal to be a small and intimate moment, certainly not something involving engraved invitations, plane fare, and gifts.Quote:
Originally posted by Zuul
My reaction is informed by the memory of my grandparents doing a wedding vow renewal for the 50th anniversary. Which was very cool, and sweet, and romantic. Of course, the also just choose a very swanky place near their home, and it was mostly a family only thing. Similarly, my aunt and uncle had a backyard BBQ for family and all their friends to do a vow renewal for their 25th anniversary.
Both of those seemed to me to be great, loving, and appropriate celebrations.
Cruise celebrations, on the other hand seem a bit more complex. The cost involved goes beyond, AIUI, simple travel and housing costs. (Yes, you can get good deals off season, but I think the normal cost is around $150/200 per person per day.) For some families that may be a normal vacation cost, but it's dwarfs any budget I'd have ever seen considered in my family. If you're going to indulge yourself that way, and can't afford to subsidize that, you're being a douche if you get pissy when people say they can't come. Even more so if you're doing it for, say, your seventh anniversary.
I've got very mixed feelings about this. With the nuclear family being the norm these days, ISTM that most of one's wedding guests are going to be coming from out of town anyways, having to pay for travel, and hotels. Choosing a destination that's equally convenient, or interesting, to most of the guests, seems to be at least as valid a choice provided the costs are no more than 25% more than a similar event in some "obvious" family related location might be.Quote:
Originally posted by Orual
Hell, when the destination would be, say, Wolcott, NY, choosing to invite people to meet someplace with enough lodging for a decent sized wedding party seems only sensible. And wouldn't you rather gather in, say, Las Vegas, NV, than in Syracuse, NY? (I know I sure would.)
Cruises are a different level from straight destination weddings, but that's because of my view of the lower boundary for costs being so high.
Excuses for a party, new fancy attire, and an expensive cake? I VOTE YES!
ALthough a 'destination' vow renewal seems kind of ridiculous. Maybe if it was a private affair. Otherwise you're supposed to just have those in your backyard and have it be a fancier version of a barbeque.
Do it at a funeral. That way everyone is already though. You can also kick in something for the grief buffet.
No, it's a load of crap.