When it looks like rain, I just wish it would go ahead and rain.
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When it looks like rain, I just wish it would go ahead and rain.
Elastigirl is hot. I can't be the only guy who thinks this.
I could pretty much always go for spaghetti.
Coke adds life.
The older I get, the more I wish I had nap time.
Three times, in your whole life? That's not a bisexual; that's just a girl who likes margaritas.
Is there anything more like an instant "oh god make it stop" than the sound of a small child screaming?
I know it's dinner, but a fish boil sounds too much like a skin condition for my liking.
Aussieland sucks at soccer.... still. :fail:
I imagine chocolate cake would be tastier than urinal cake.
One slow board wasn't enough so I joined another one and it's even slower.
In North America, people are way more interested in the vuvuzelas than they are in the results of the matches.
If you allow a nine year old boy to do a Google image search for how he things "vuvuzelas" is spelled, you have to be prepared for the results.
I paid my mortgage on line yesterday and when I was done there was a confirmation screen that said "Print this for your records". I don't have any records, but I printed it anyway.
I sneezed this morning while brushing my teeth, which is horrible. I stabbed myself in the mouth and I had to clean the mirror.
At this point, chances are I'll never spend another night in a Texas jail. And that's all right with me.
If you wanted to be a really bigoted and racist artist and still be accepted, the best medium to work in is silkscreening t-shirts to sell outside of Major League Baseball games.
This thread reminds me of the old Deep Thoughts gag on SNL.
BTW: Mundane Profundity is the phrase that comes to mind.
I saw a bumper sticker on the way to work this morning that said "start seeing motorcycles" and I did. They were everywhere and it was freaking me out man.
I've been walking past some of these same homeless people every weekday for over three years now. Same guy, same shopping cart, same freeway overpass.
If the optometrist really wants you to look at her ear, she should wear a blouse that encourages that.
I like to go to Cold Stone, not just because I like ice cream but because I like forcing teenagers to sing and dance for giving them a dollar on my way out while they're crazy busy. They don't have a tip jar, they have a giant "Fuck You!" button.
I've been seeing American Apparel ads where the models are fully dressed.
There's nothing like a giant inflatable purple gorilla to make a man go, "Hey, I feel like buying a new car today!"
Two things that always bugged me about Star Wars, first, that cantina where all the different aliens are hanging out? There's no way that they had proper bathroom facilities for all those things, and second, how the hell was Chewbacca's name Chewbacca when there's no way he could say it.
It would be way funnier if Chewbacca's name was something he could say, like "Raarhrhahagherrroggru" and everyone had to keep trying to say his name in the movie. Picturing Harrison Ford saying "<Awesome Wookie noise> I need those shields!" is cracking me up.
When Obi-Wan said, "you will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy," he was talking about the bathroom at the cantina. Not only did it have woefully inadequate one-size-fits-all toilets, but there was an alien sitting at the sink, only doling out the water and soap in exchange for tips.
I wonder what kind of cologne you get at an inter-species restroom valet stop? Polo for Wookie?
Why did we decide being a grownup means not doing cool shit?
At a good salad bar, you can pretty much fill up on stuff that has nothing to do with lettuce.
I saw a skeleton riding a motorcycle this morning.
I didn't think Ghost Rider was headquartered in San Francisco.
Fresh mulch can smell downright nasty on a warm, humid day.
Bob Seger is an oldies act that got old.
They should never try to remake Mame: the musical.
I'm pretty sure there is an epidemic of obsessive-compulsive disorder going on.
I wonder what people who work for Spam call spam? I bet it's not spam.
How can I have heartburn before I've even eaten anything?