Responses to 'Thank You': Or, Am I An Uncultured Boor?

In my new job, I am doing a lot of fetching and carrying for people. As such, I have bet getting a lot of thanks, and I've noticed that my default response is "no problem".

Now, I recall reading at various places on the internet that this is a social faux pas that grates on peoples ears like nails on a chalkboard. And I don't really understand that.

For me "no problem" is shorthand for "it was no trouble, I'm happy to help." I gather that's not what some people hear, though.

I don't know why "you're welcome" doesn't come naturally to me. Somehow it feels awkward and overly formal.

So I'm curious to know what the Mellos think: am I a reasonably polite person, or would you find me distasteful, like a guy who wears cut-offs to a wedding reception? (And I would like it if people included their age and location, since I'm pretty sure that's a factor.)

I have no problem whatsoever with "no problem". I don't know anyone in person that it bothers. (I'm 28)

I say no problem all the time. I too have a job where I get thanked quite a lot and I find it's best to vary my response since it's kind of weird to just say no problem over and over. So I say you're welcome and glad to help, and no problem, and anything I can do... etc etc etc.

I'd have no criticisms of your response, myself. I think that "you're welcome" is a more formal response, but I tend to prefer informality with people I work with, at least as much as possible. I'd always thought that the people who get their undies in a twist over "no problem" have a little too much fiber in their diet, anyways.



41/m New England. Suck it, Tom!

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Originally posted by Orual

Now, I recall reading at various places on the internet that this is a social faux pas that grates on peoples ears like nails on a chalkboard.

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Was one of these places perhaps.....the Dope?

I can't imagine what rational person would have a problem with "no problem". I'm 31 and in the Midwest.

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Originally posted by OtakuLoki

I'd always thought that the people who get their undies in a twist over "no problem" have a little too much fiber in their diet, anyways.

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Yes, really. I can't find anything to complain of with "no problem" other than that it's more casual. This might be seen as a little off when, say, thanking someone graciously for funding your honeymoon to Tahiti, but in a casual setting as described in the OP, sure. I'd say it's ruder to get uptight about people who are honestly trying to be courteous.

I was also taught that "you're welcome," or "I'm very glad I could help" were polite responses to being thanked, and that has always stuck with me in situations of all kinds -- except with those I'm closest to, like the type of people I would belch and fart in front of without dying of embarrassment. Those are the folks with whom you can drop the proper and polite remarks, and be more loose with your expressions -- mind you, this is my opinion, though. In a work situation I would stick to whatever I could guarantee would not be taken in any way but the most respectful intended. In situations where I do not know the person who is thanking me, or not know the person well, I'd stick with the "proper etiquette" response. I mean, although I'm absolutely boorish at home, I like to keep it a surprise from the general public until I can't hold it in anymore.

And if I did something nice that warranted a "thank you" and didn't receive a word of gratitude (or preferably a tip,) I'd smile until they turned away and then sneeze "HORSEFUCKER" within earshot. That probably isn't something Miss Manners would advocate, though.

I was also taught that "you're welcome," or "I'm very glad I could help" were polite responses to being thanked, and that has always stuck with me in situations of all kinds -- except with those I'm closest to, like the type of people I would belch and fart in front of without dying of embarrassment. Those are the folks with whom you can drop the proper and polite remarks, and be more loose with your expressions -- mind you, this is my opinion, though. In a work situation I would stick to whatever I could guarantee would not be taken in any way but the most respectful intended. In situations where I do not know the person who is thanking me, or not know the person well, I'd stick with the "proper etiquette" response. I mean, although I'm absolutely boorish at home, I like to keep it a surprise from the general public until I can't hold it in anymore.

And if I did something nice that warranted a "thank you" and didn't receive a word of gratitude (or preferably a tip,) I'd smile until they turned away and then sneeze "HORSEFUCKER" within earshot. That probably isn't something Miss Manners would advocate, though.

Seeing as how you're working in California, the local standards shall apply so if there's somewhere else that it's unacceptable, don't worry about it.

In an informal setting in the US southwest "no problem" is a fine response. When I've been working a job where I had a lot of thank you/you're welcome exchanges throughout the day, I've usually alternated "no problem" with "de nada" and I've never had someone say I was being rude for either usage. Well, I had one bigot take issue with my use of Spanish, but I don't think that really counts.

I normally use some variation of "no problem," unless I'm speaking to someone a lot older or younger than me. And, by "a lot," I usually mean twenty-five years or more in either direction.

I always say "No problem" too and I'm really trying to wean myself off of it. I don't really think people's complaints about it are legitimate but I don't want to offend anyone.

I like "de nada" the best. It combines suave foreigness with politeness and wins my heart every time. Some people say, "Don't mention it", which, I confess, does grate on one's ear.

It might not be necessary to ever say anything in response to Thank You but it's pretty well de rigeur to say Thank You in the first place, yes?

I hate the American "uhuh" response to thank you. Fucking wrecks me buzz man.

In situations like the OP no problem is fine.But I like to use the whimsical "All Part of the Friendly Service" if delivered in a friendly voice.

5er how have you been? Nice to see you? Don't be such a stranger, or if you must, be stranger than most.

Hey Glazer! I'm good, thanks, goofing off, drinking beer, and then saving the world in my spare time. You know, the usual.

Thanks for the welcome back. :)

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Originally posted by Myrnalene

Was one of these places perhaps.....the Dope?

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Most likely.

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Originally posted by Exy

I always say "No problem" too and I'm really trying to wean myself off of it. I don't really think people's complaints about it are legitimate but I don't want to offend anyone.

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You know, I don't think I can be that conscientious about it - it's really a reflexive response for me.

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Originally posted by The Original An Gadaí

I hate the American "uhuh" response to thank you. Fucking wrecks me buzz man.

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Ugh. That reeks of apathetic teenager.

I am very glad that I'm not personally contributing to the Downfall of Western Civilization. :)

If you think your "No problem" is lacking some, je ne sais quoi, then just throw a little punch on it. Oomf, it you may.

Give them a gunslinger double pistol shot with your hands along with it. Tilt the head and smirk. Or just throw up a high five.... even a fist pump. If they're the same sex as you I think it's appropriate to give a friendly ass smack. "No problem, sport." (Thwack)

They'll like it, and it won't surprise them as much when you move in for a full head lock & noogie next time appreciation must be shown.

I default to "no problem," but I've learned to revert to "you're welcome" when speaking to people over 70 at work. Maybe over 60 if they're AA. (I'm an office manager at a medical practice, and I speak to people from a huge spectrum of ages, ethnicities and SES.)

"No problem" is so ingrained in me that, if I'm speaking Spanish and not thinking, I'll respond to gracias with no hay problema. If my interlocutor is young and/or knows some English, they understand and sometimes laugh. If not, they go "huh?"

Depends where you are, sometimes "No problem" can seem to be a bit of a brush-off. It's a bit like the eternal "Have a nice day" spoken in completely couldn't care less tones.
"My pleasure" or "Glad to help" alternated in can reduce the annoyance factor.
"Sod off" can be a useful alternative too, used sparingly :)

After some thought I've remembered that my mother hates "no problem". I guess she feels that response shows that her time isn't valuable to you? I don't know. I don't get it, myself. Anyway, she's 60.

(Also, Loki, New York is not New England. Quit harping on that.)

I have no problem with "no problem" and I'm 51, plus I was raised by a slavish devotee of Emily Post. I guess my home region is New England, as I lived there from age 11 to 23.