'Good Christian boys'

This little tidbit comes from a discussion about smashed mailboxes from a forum I Should Stop Reading Because Something On It Pisses Me Off Everyday. I have a few problems with the quoted bit below. See if you can spot them!

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All in all though, most young men, teenagers specifcally, go through a stupid stage. Dumb stupid stage. My father did. My brothers did. My husband did. All turned out to be good, law abiding, respectful citizens. And all destroyed and damaged something on the way there. Being the only girl around growing up I still cannot imagine doing what those guys did. And for the first time last night my son asked to "hang" with a buddy that has a brand new license. Oh mercy, the fear that went through my head!!! Hate to sound so cliche, but boys will be boys. And I bet most of those mail box crushers are good boys, hard workers, christian, dependable and respectful. Its just that stupid takes over when they get together. That's where all country songs come from- stupid that takes over the young man's brain.

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And to deal with that stupid stage, dammit, you have to beat it out of them, by showing them that actions have consequences. So they won't turn into the sort of "good christian" men who think that burning crosses on lawns of people they don't like is acceptable behavior.

Which means that you don't excuse their destructive behavior by saying "boys will be boys." It means you try to limit some of the consequences of their actions to things that have an immediate effect, not a long term one. Such as fines, community service, on top of replacing the destroyed stuff. But eschewing felony convictions or allowing for the record of such felony convictions to be expunged if after a probationary period with no further idiocy of that nature.

You do not - cannot - start with saying, "boys will be boys" and assume that they'll get better without being hit by a figurative rolled up newspaper.

What definition of "good" is she using to describe little assholes here?

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Originally posted by Zuul

What definition of "good" is she using to describe little assholes here?

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"If their parents are watching them, they won't be burning anything down. Then."

Things I hate about this post:

First, the description of "good boys, hard workers, christian, dependable and respectful." I have a hard time seeing anyone who runs around causing property damage as 'good' and 'respectful'. Second, why does their religion have anything to do with the rest of that? Does it forgive their actions because they go to the 'right' church? Would they be less good if they were Jewish? Muslim? Wiccan? Atheist? This was the first thing that got my hackles up.

Next, "Being the only girl around growing up I still cannot imagine doing what those guys did." Is this because you perhaps have a grasp on decency and common sense, or is it because you were a girl, and girls simply don't act in such a manner? We can go on about biology and statistics blah blah, but it's not as if no girl anywhere ever has never caused property damage. For all we know the kids smashing mailboxes in the OP ARE girls, since we have no proof otherwise.

And lastly, the overall tone of "boys will be boys". I find this way of thinking horrible on two levels. One, to say 'boys will be boys' completely excuses boys and men from behavior we KNOW is wrong. In this case the fact a bunch of people have to buy new mailboxes is just due to 'boys being boys'. But you can imagine what else can be overlooked because 'boys will be boys'. Two, it implies that we literally cannot hold boys responsible for their actions. So not only should we forgive them because they're just being boys, we should accept it because THEY CAN'T HELP IT. No male anywhere ever has ever been able to control his wild manly impulses, they are incapable of it, and this is simply the way of the world.

Fuck. These. People.

Is this the stupid chicken forum?

Why yes it is! However did you guess?

Frankly, it was kind of a relief when I read the thread and the only "mistake" these "good Christian boys" were being excused from was smashing mailboxes. Seems like I usually hear it in a much worse context.

Well, I guess you don't need to worry RabbitMage.. you will probably miss the upper teens/lower 20's retard phase of a guys life. Granted its not universal.. but I'm pretty sure you can ask any guy about stupid shit he did when he was young and you'll get a few stories. Most of them we can't even explain to ourselves and I guess its all about being dumb, liking girls, liking friends, and feeling like you have to do something combined with believing you're never die or something.

Anyway, any guy will tell you to be wary of young men in general.

I myself was a good deal more violent and aggressive in about everything I did. This helped as much as it hurt.

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Originally posted by hatesfreedom

Well, I guess you don't need to worry RabbitMage.. you will probably miss the upper teens/lower 20's retard phase of a guys life. Granted its not universal.. but I'm pretty sure you can ask any guy about stupid shit he did when he was young and you'll get a few stories. Most of them we can't even explain to ourselves and I guess its all about being dumb, liking girls, liking friends, and feeling like you have to do something combined with believing you're never die or something.

Anyway, any guy will tell you to be wary of young men in general.

I myself was a good deal more violent and aggressive in about everything I did. This helped as much as it hurt.

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I'm not a guy, but I'm the mum of 2 and the grandma of 3 and I've got dozens of nephews and male cousins and knew bazillions of young guys over the years and I have to say, hatesfreedom, that your post accords EXACTLY with my observations.

If young men weren't incredibly stupid and firmly convinced of their own immortality, would anyone ever have been able to have a war? Think about it . . . . :(

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Originally posted by hatesfreedom

Well, I guess you don't need to worry RabbitMage.. you will probably miss the upper teens/lower 20's retard phase of a guys life.

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Sorry hates. From the ages of 12-21 the vast majority of my friends were guys. I'm hard-pressed to think of a single time any of us went out and intentionally caused any property damage. Did we do stupid things? Of course, we were teenagers. But we limited our stupidity to things that didn't leave lasting marks on things other than, say, our own bodies (sorry about your fingers, Will!).

I'm still inspired to do stupid things, but they usually involve the desire to do things like fly cross-country on a whim and buy Corgis and whatnot.

Maybe I just ran with a milder crowd, maybe my parents did a better job of teaching me not to break things, I don't know. But even if there's a so-called 'perfectly good excuse' for being a moron doesn't mean that being a moron shouldn't have consequences.

So this one time? Like, me & my bro stole this bulldozer, right? We didn't plan to but the key was in it. Never did figure out how to work the brakes.....