The Lucky Elephant--March, 2010

With All Hallows Eve right around the corner, the pressure is on to come up with that perfect costume...whether you are hitting the crowded streets with wandering masqueraders, going to a friend's apartment for a shindig, or just staying home watching old Universal monster movies with a bowl full of candy for tiny trick-or-treaters, the right outfit is essential. Looking back over my many years of dressing up for the holiday, there were a few times I nailed, and a few that to this day are a headscratcher. So here's a brief review of my personal dress-up experiences, followed by a guide to help you plan the best outfit for you!

Ed Platte, aged forty-two, recent hire to the actuary firm of Steele, Murphy & Fitz, or SMF—pronounced “smif” by long-time employees. A practical and efficient man, Ed is a firm believer that the shortest distance between two points is a straight line. Until today, that belief has gotten him through life unscathed. But until today, he never had to walk the Bunny Trail after dark.

Emily stared in the darkness, ears straining to pick out the sound that must have woke her. Behind her, Tony rolled to his side and draped his arm over her waist and pulled her closer. She didn’t resist the contact, but she didn’t relax to his embrace, either. Something had pulled her from a deep sleep, and she doubted it was Tony trying to get closer. People had been talking in her dream. Speaking in a language she didn’t understand. The volume had increased until everybody was shouting at her in French, the unfamiliar words piercing her ears like pointed weapons. When she opened her eyes to the dark room, the words were still there. Moving in a steady stream through her mind, nonsensical sounds forming phrases that felt deliberate. That had the rhythm and cadence of an actual sentence with actual meaning.

TITLE: Blood Vice
AUTHOR: Keith Melton
PUBLISHER: Samhain
LENGTH: Novel (roughly 93k)
GENRE: Urban fantasy
COST: $5.50

Boston’s criminal underworld is at war, and vampire Karl Vance has chosen a side. As a hired hit man for the Ricardis, he satisfies his bloodlust by preying only on those who deserve it, but when Maria Ricardi decides to make her own play for power within the family, things take a deadly turn. The rival Lucattis have their own vampire to defend them, Alejandro Delgado, who’s in town primarily to settle the centuries-old vendetta between him and Karl. He recognizes Maria as Karl’s weakness, but his strike against her changes the war irrevocably…for everyone.

A vampire as a hit man for the Mafia? How on earth was I supposed to resist a set-up like that? The possibilities of how it could play out were delicious, and with the excerpt detailing him doing a hit, then going off to church to pray for their souls, convinced me to give it a go. I don’t regret the purchase for a second.

I am becoming an expert in zombie culture, and horror is my thing. I can work with horror. I can read it and I know a lot about it. Sometimes I forget that I know it so well and I feel like I don't have any particular knowledge with anything else, and sometimes I think "Great job, Jasie. You've become a horror expert. Now people will take you seriously"--all thought in quite a sarcastic and cutting tone. There's so much to learn and know and I feel like I'll never get it all. But that is why I have also been trained as an expert student. I don't have to know everything; I just have to be able to understand what other people say and know and be able to use their knowledge to support my theories.

Halloween, the one time of year when all the masks and costumes come out of the closet, stock in candy companies soar, and pumpkins become the most popular kid in the vegetable aisle. But anyone who knew anything about the other world--the one beneath the often very thin veil of reality comfortably blinding those who weren’t ready to see or accept--also knew that this was the one time of year where the masks and costumes could be safely tucked into the closet for a change.

Let's say you know with 100% certainty that a girl likes you a lot, possibly more than anyone because she's had a crush on you for years. But due to your history, you know she'll want to play hard to get with you. That's because she wants to get back at you for things you did in the past. A long chase from you will give her more pleasure than anything. At the same time you know her heart is pounding at the mere sight of you.

Hopeful Romantic

When I was a teenager, I picked up a novel about a girl falling in love with a ghost. It was an interesting premise, but I was disappointed quickly as it turned out the boy wasn't really a ghost. He was simply disembodied while in a coma and the story ended with an all too predictable awakening and true love was found.

On a Bruised Road is about a ghost, too. There is very little predictable about it.

Edwin Masters has been obsessed with a car for decades, a 1962 Alfa Romeo Spider 2600. It's not the type of vehicle car buffs obsess over, but Edwin isn't himself a car buff. His reasons for wanting that particular car aren't revealed right away, but from the moment he slips behind the wheel of the one he's buying his life will never be the same again.

It was the absinthe that did it.

At least, that’s what Jacob says. I don’t believe him. My memories of that Halloween may be fuzzy, but they’re clear enough for truth, and if Jacob wants to blame the absinthe that’s fine with me. Let him. I know where the responsibility lies, but I won’t tell them. I don’t want to.

10. The Phantom Of the Opera (1925)
This was the first film adaptation of the Gaston Leroux novel of the same name. By now, we're all familiar with the story of the Phantom, who uses mayhem, fear, and murder in order to manipulate the management into making the woman he loves a star. It's generally considered to be the most faithful of the adaptations, but there's one big difference. This difference is so wonderfully, well, Hollywood, that I can't help but love it. Instead of a history of studying in Persia, the Phantom is instead an escapee of Devil's Island and is skilled in the "dark arts."