Why I Hate The Stand

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If you haven't read Stephen King's The Stand you should turn back now. Trust me. If you find out the ending prematurely, you are going to end up missing out on everything good in the novel and you won't be able to enjoy it the way you should. And yes, despite the fact that I hate it with every fiber of my being, it is a very enjoyable book.

Now then. Are we only left with people who are familiar with the story and probably think I have no taste for trashing it? Good.

The Stand is one of those books that gets inside your head. Ever since the first time I read it, the story has stuck with me. I think about King's descriptions of Captain Trips, of people's reactions, of the deaths of the people who survived the plague but couldn't survive afterward. The entire first half of the book is so good and so damn near perfect that it haunts me to this day.

So how can I hate a book that I consider nearly perfect?

It's that "nearly" part. The religious overtones throughout the book are fine. Randall Flagg is a grand villain and his power contrasts sharply with the frailty of Mother Abigail. The problem comes in when King tries to get some Old Testament style fire and brimstone and it turns out he can't pull it off at all.

What, in God's grand plan, was the fucking point of Stu, Larry, Ralph and Glen walking to Vegas on foot? This purifying odyssey is one meant for prophets and is strongly reminiscent of Moses going to speak to Pharaoh. But do they arrive in Vegas to lead the many people who want to escape Flagg to freedom? People like Jenny and those with her who had been trying to get away? Do the wonders of God strike at those in Las Vegas, leaving many alive so that they will know His power just like in Exodus? No, none of that happens.

God's fist comes out of the sky and sets off a nuclear warhead, killing absolutely everybody.

WHAT. THE. FUCK.

No, King. No. Fuck you, you fucking moron. If you want to try pulling off this fire and brimstone crap from the Old Testament, then perhaps you should have paid attention to those stories, because yours doesn't make any goddamned sense. God doesn't send prophets into cities He's going to destroy with no survivors. He doesn't kill His dutiful prophets alongside His enemies. You go in to check for the righteous men, or to rescue the chosen people, or something. If you're just going to stand there and get nuked, you might as well have not been there at all. If God is going to start using nuclear weapons He has no need for prophets.

If it was a last chance kind of deal, that still makes no goddamned sense. There were people there who wanted to get away. Many of those in Vegas were simply drawn there because it had food and water and electricity and order. Lots of techies got pulled in, but had no desire to be part of evil. Many were trying to get away. But were they given a chance? No. They, along with everybody else, gets fried.

That is the lamest and most unsatisfying ending to a book I can possibly imagine. "God's fist descends and punches a nuclear warhead, killing everybody." Seriously? How much coke were you on when you wrote that, Mr. King? It is doubly bad because it comes at the end of such a good book.

You don't spend nine thousand pages preparing your reader for an epic showdown between good and evil, and then pull the most literal fucking deus ex machina ever. King said he wanted to create an epic story along the lines of Lord of the Rings for North America. Tolkien understood how to end a story well, though. The weak can triumph over the mighty in Tolkien's books and it doesn't take any nuclear warheads to do it.

And that is why I hate The Stand.

Comments



How I miss you Las Vegas...

Except for that angry fist of God thing, I always thought Vegas sounded like the better choice.

You know, I have often thought that Stephen King has problems with his endings, although I suddenly can't think of other examples. Except the Dark Tower, obviously.

Actually IT was a pretty bad ending to a compelling book.

I never read the book, but I watched the miniseries. I, too, was left with a big dose of "What was the point of all that?"

Unless the point is that God is just plain nuts. Which is possible, I suppose, but lacks something from a story-telling point of view.

Quote Originally posted by Rube E. Tewesday View post
Unless the point is that God is just plain nuts. Which is possible, I suppose, but lacks something from a story-telling point of view.
Thank you for making me choke on my tea.

Yeah, there really didn't seem to be much of a point. I'm totally willing to accept that within the confines of The Stand's universe God is not omnipotent and requires the Boulder people to take action. But coupling that with "God is gonna nuke ya" just makes the whole thing very bizarre.

Quote Originally posted by Orual View post
You know, I have often thought that Stephen King has problems with his endings, although I suddenly can't think of other examples. Except the Dark Tower, obviously.
Yeah, he does get a bit weak on his endings. The Dark Tower, The Stand, and IT are probably the worst, but they're usually a bit lame in comparison to what came before. Firestarter had a good climactic battle and all, but the resolution always struck me as lame. Maybe Rolling Stone magazine was very different back then.

I had a similar experience with The Stand. Great first half; then all the supernatural crap starts. God, the Devil, visionary dreams. If I hadn't already been, that book might have made me an atheist.

I Stephen King's best stories work because of vivid characters and solid storytelling, not because of ghosts or monsters. Misery was my favorite book of his; nothing supernatural. And for Christ's sake, keep him away from aliens or any kind of science fiction. He has a bright ten-year-old's understanding of science. (I remember in The Stand, Trashman somehow manages to get radiation poisoning in the process of picking up a nuclear warhead and bringing it back to Las Vegas. Not sure how King thought that would happen.)

Quote Originally posted by Baldwin View post
I Stephen King's best stories work because of vivid characters and solid storytelling, not because of ghosts or monsters. Misery was my favorite book of his; nothing supernatural. And for Christ's sake, keep him away from aliens or any kind of science fiction. He has a bright ten-year-old's understanding of science. (I remember in The Stand, Trashman somehow manages to get radiation poisoning in the process of picking up a nuclear warhead and bringing it back to Las Vegas. Not sure how King thought that would happen.)
God, yes. Exactly. The plague and the aftermath was great. The supernatural elements that weren't even interally consistent were just awful. I considered pointing out that you couldn't set off a nuclear warhead in the way it was described in the book, but I suppose if it's the hand of an insane god anything is possible.

...

when i first saw this, i thought it was going to be about why SONES (snsd fans) hated the STAND (snsd haters)
sorry...