Thoroughly Modern Crafting--Phillipa Grey-Gerou

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We’ve all gotten them—the scratchy gloves, the lumpy scarves, the sweaters with one arm longer than the other. In our family, my grandmother was notorious for starting Christmas presents and then giving them to us unfinished. To this day, incomplete Christmas gifts are called Nana presents, even though my kids never got any from her.

If this is what you think of when you hear “knitting”, though, it’s time to move your crafting sensibilities into the twenty-first century.

Knitting isn’t just for little old ladies who wouldn’t know one end of the keyboard from another. In fact, there is even a social networking site dedicated to knitters of all stripes. Ravelry has over 50,000 members and serves as a clearing house for patterns all over the internet, a place for local groups to connect and coordinate meet-ups—stitch and bitches, as they’re called—and a resource for new knitters to learn from more experienced ones. You know, just like Grandma used to do. Only with SCIENCE!

Knitting tutorials are all over YouTube, continuing the tradition of personal teaching in this ever more isolated society. Because, really, how many of us actually had family members to teach us? I learned the basics from my parents—yes, both of them—but never made so much as a washcloth until this past January when suddenly the knitting bug bit. Hard. And the things I wanted to make—SOCKS!—they weren’t able to do. The internet is saving a dying art. At least people keep telling me it’s dying. From where I’m standing, it’s pretty darn healthy.

And don’t think we’re knitting all the same fisherman sweaters and acrylic mittens you remember, either. Online design magazines like Knitty and Knotions offer inspired, fashion-forward patterns that will any snobby fashionista would gladly pay for if it showed up in a boutique. And if you want to be really out there, check out The AntiCraft, which, among other things, dedicated one whole issue to merkins. Go ahead, look it up. I’ll wait.

Yeah, not your grandma’s knitting projects.

And don’t think this stuff is a way for knitters to dodge buying a decent holiday or birthday present, either. Today’s knitting ain’t cheap. The three dollar a skein Red Heart yarn is reviled, replaced by thirty dollar skeins of hand-spun, hand-dyed wool, silk and cashmere, angora, merino and alpaca, bought from favorite vendors on Etsy.com or, if you’re really lucky, local fiber farms. There are even community supported fiber farms where you can support independent breeders and get beautiful yarn in return. And all this fancy yarn is being wound on custom made yarn swifts and knit on hand carved needles in custom colors and sizes and patterns you couldn’t even imagine. If you ever even mention to a knitter that you can get socks at X-Mart for five dollars a dozen, so why waste the time knitting them, you shouldn’t be surprised to find a six inch maple number two double pointed needle suddenly sticking out of your temple.

One of the popular knitter’s mottos is “I knit so I don’t kill people.” It would be wise to remember that.

But it does bring up a valid question. Why, in this age of digitized everything and discount, big box abundance, would anyone bother to knit? If you ask our friends the Freudians, it’s because we’re substituting it for…other activities. One of the more popular stories making the rounds on Ravelry is about a young woman attending lectures at one of the Seven Sisters schools--which one varies depending on the storyteller--who is sitting in the front row listening attentively while working on her knitting. Irritated, the professor says loudly in front of the whole lecture hall, “You know that knitting is just a substitute for masturbation.” The young woman, without missing a stitch, responds, “You masturbate your way, I’ll masturbate mine.”

More seriously, however, there is something comforting in mastering an art, in being able to create something that is not only beautiful and unique, but also very practical. In many ways, it’s the art of mindfulness, from the simplest elements of picking the perfect yarn for the project and the recipient, choosing the best tools, finding the right pattern, and then committing a few hours or days or weeks of your time into creating this object. When an artist follows a similar path, it’s called the creative process. It’s equally true in knitting. Just as few people are artists, not everyone knits. Those who do care about it passionately, invest not only time and money, but pieces of themselves, of their energy and essence into each scarf, sweater, or glove trying to create something that is special enough to give away. Because most knitters will tell you, they rarely get to make anything for themselves. Almost always their projects are for someone else, or end up going to someone else because it was admired during the process and the knitter couldn’t say no. I participated in a mystery sock knit-along recently on a pattern designed by Nancy Bush, who is renowned in the knitting world as one of the foremost sock designers. We were all horrified to learn that in all her years of knitting and designing, no one had ever knit socks for her. Needless to say, by the end of the knit-along, she had several pairs, lovingly made by a grateful community. That’s how it is. Other people need these things more than we do.

Don’t for a moment think that that makes knitters pushovers, though. On an episode of the National Public Radio quiz show Wait, Wait, Don’t Tell Me last year, panelist Mo Rocca made a humorous comment about all handmade sweaters being itchy. Needless to say, there was an outpouring of disagreement from the knitting community, so much so that Mo called into the show the following week to apologize, promising that should anyone ever make him a handmade sweater, he would gladly wear it. Six weeks later, eighteen Ravelry members were in the audience with a sweater for Mo, which he happily donned and pronounced it not itchy at all. Peter Segal, the host, decided to insult Mercedes Benz in the hopes of getting a similar happy result. No word yet on how that’s worked out for him.

I guess knitters are just more generous than car manufacturers.

Bio:

When she’s not knitting, Grey can be found writing erotic romances with her writing partner, tormenting her cats, or being tormented in return by her three children. To check out her other writing, visit her at www.greygerou.com.