Poll results: Can you do the idle chit chat thing?

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  • Hell yes. Love chatting up the natives.

    3 25.00%
  • I can pretty well, but it's not natural for me.

    3 25.00%
  • If I have to.

    0 0%
  • Not so much. Not comfortable with it.

    5 41.67%
  • Nope. I don't like people.

    1 8.33%
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Thread: Life Skills, Part Seven: Can you make small talk?

  1. #1
    For whom nothing is written. Oliveloaf's avatar
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    Default Life Skills, Part Seven: Can you make small talk?

    How do you do in polite, unfamiliar social situations?
    "I won't kill for money, and I won't marry for it. Other than that, I'm open to just about anything."

    -Jim Rockford

  2. #2
    For whom nothing is written. Oliveloaf's avatar
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    I picked the second thing.

    It's really part of my job to host, mingle, and get along with people, but I kinda hate idle chatter.

    I commend myself on a single, well-honed skill: I can talk about politics, at length and in depth, without offending anyone and without tipping my hat as to my personal leanings.
    "I won't kill for money, and I won't marry for it. Other than that, I'm open to just about anything."

    -Jim Rockford

  3. #3
    my god, he's full of stars... OneCentStamp's avatar
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    I've grown good at it by the nature of my job history (decades in sales and customer service), but I hate doing it. I always feel badly for artifex, because I go home after work and my idea of relaxing is to talk as little as possible.
    "You laugh at me because I'm different; I laugh at you because I'm on nitrous."

    find me at Goodreads

  4. #4
    Oliphaunt
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    It does not come naturally to me, sadly. I work at it, but I have a pathological fear of Getting Looked At Funny.

  5. #5
    Member Elendil's Heir's avatar
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    I do OK at it. I do even better when I've had a beer or some wine. Usual topics: books, movies, history, politics, travel, jokes.

  6. #6
    my god, he's full of stars... OneCentStamp's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Elendil's Heir View post
    Usual topics: books, movies, history, politics, travel, jokes.
    This...this really is a good message board for you, isn't it?
    "You laugh at me because I'm different; I laugh at you because I'm on nitrous."

    find me at Goodreads

  7. #7
    Member Elendil's Heir's avatar
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    Heh. And I didn't even mention Tolkien, flags or Sherlock Holmes!

  8. #8
    my god, he's full of stars... OneCentStamp's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Orual View post
    It does not come naturally to me, sadly. I work at it, but I have a pathological fear of Getting Looked At Funny.
    How about askance? Is it OK to look at you askance? I've just always wanted to do that to someone.
    "You laugh at me because I'm different; I laugh at you because I'm on nitrous."

    find me at Goodreads

  9. #9
    Oliphaunt The Original An Gadaí's avatar
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    I thought I'd responded to this. I could talk the hind legs off a donkey. I love small talk, shooting the breeze or what have you.

  10. #10
    Member Elendil's Heir's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by OneCentStamp View post
    How about askance? Is it OK to look at you askance? I've just always wanted to do that to someone.
    I'm looking at you askance right now!

  11. #11
    Oliphaunt
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    Quote Originally posted by OneCentStamp View post
    Quote Originally posted by Orual View post
    It does not come naturally to me, sadly. I work at it, but I have a pathological fear of Getting Looked At Funny.
    How about askance? Is it OK to look at you askance? I've just always wanted to do that to someone.
    As long as it's not aghast, I think we're good.

  12. #12
    Administrator CatInASuit's avatar
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    Technical Meetings where I know what I am doing, I can gabble away. Small talk makes me want to hide in the corner. Once the topic gets beyond the weather, I'm usually stumped.
    In the land of the blind, the one-arm man is king.

  13. #13
    Elen síla lumenn' omentielvo What Exit?'s avatar
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    It is easy for me, I can strike up conversations with strangers, I can always talk sports or politics or movies or whatnot.

  14. #14
    A Groupie Marsilia's avatar
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    As much as Zuul might disagree, I'm terrible at small talk. I tend to ramble, if I manage more than two syllables at a time.
    So, I'll whisper in the dark, hoping you'll hear me.

  15. #15
    Elephant Myglaren's avatar
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    Life Skills, Part Seven: Can you make small talk?
    No.
    Lightly Seared On The Reality Grill

  16. #16
    my god, he's full of stars... OneCentStamp's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Myglaren View post
    Life Skills, Part Seven: Can you make small talk?
    No.
    Best reply ever.
    "You laugh at me because I'm different; I laugh at you because I'm on nitrous."

    find me at Goodreads

  17. #17
    Elephant artifex's avatar
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    I don't know if I'm good at it, but I'm comfortable with it. Have to do a lot of it for work, where I suppose my real skill is hopping from chitchat to deeply personal questions. I don't mind striking up conversations with strangers, though.

    Unless I'm at a party where the entire idea is to strike up conversations with strangers. Then it becomes terrifically uncomfortable for me. Just realized that, that the difference seems to be focusing on small talk and impressing with my social prowess, versus being engaged in something else (even if it's waiting in a line) and making small talk while doing so.

  18. #18
    Member Elendil's Heir's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by OneCentStamp View post
    Quote Originally posted by Myglaren View post
    Life Skills, Part Seven: Can you make small talk?
    No.
    Best reply ever.
    One of my favorite stories about the notoriously laconic Calvin Coolidge is that he was once seated at a dinner party next to a beautiful young woman who said, "Now, Mr. Coolidge, I give you fair warning: I've made a bet with a friend that I can get you to say more than two words this evening."

    Coolidge replied, "You lose."

  19. #19
    my god, he's full of stars... OneCentStamp's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by artifex View post
    I don't know if I'm good at it, but I'm comfortable with it. Have to do a lot of it for work, where I suppose my real skill is hopping from chitchat to deeply personal questions. I don't mind striking up conversations with strangers, though.
    It's pretty amazing to be able to turn on a dime, from hearing about someone's grandkid, to asking them about the consistency and amount of their stools.

    Quote Originally posted by Elendil's Heir View post
    One of my favorite stories about the notoriously laconic Calvin Coolidge is that he was once seated at a dinner party next to a beautiful young woman who said, "Now, Mr. Coolidge, I give you fair warning: I've made a bet with a friend that I can get you to say more than two words this evening."

    Coolidge replied, "You lose."
    I remember reading this story as a kid, in some "quick facts about the Presidents" book that I had. I can date the book by the fact that the last entry in it was for first-term Reagan.
    "You laugh at me because I'm different; I laugh at you because I'm on nitrous."

    find me at Goodreads

  20. #20
    Member Elendil's Heir's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by OneCentStamp View post
    It's pretty amazing to be able to turn on a dime, from hearing about someone's grandkid, to asking them about the consistency and amount of their stools.
    I find that using transitional sentences can help in situations like that: "I'm so glad that Trixie is enjoying high school life. Well, I guess we'd better talk a bit about your digestion. Can you tell me how things are going in the bathroom for you?"

  21. #21
    Oliphaunt The Original An Gadaí's avatar
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    I hope I can. I'm meeting four strangers tomorrow from America (one of them lurks on SDMB).

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