Bear Grylls is the person featured in "Man vs Wild" on the Discovery Channel (know as "Born Survivor" in its country of origin). My question to the world is, why did the sweet-natured if rather manic Crocodile Hunter have to die while this abhorrent megalomaniac lives on to torture me?
The rather outlandish premise of the show is that it is a "how-to" survival guide for anyone who may find themselves, say, stranded in the middle of a desert or a jungle or a mountain range without food, water, or communication with the outside world. Personally, I feel confident that the chances of this happening to any of the Discovery Channel's usual audience are low enough to make such a show unnecessary. But it doesn't matter, because the real purpose of the show is for Mr. Grylls to show off his dubious knowledge of the natural world and to eat as many disgusting things as possible.
Things I have seen Bear Grylls do:
*pee on a towel and then wear the towel as a head garment (something about avoiding dehydration in desert conditions? whatever, freak)
*point out vultures circling in the sky, state the likelihood of such vultures pointing the way to good eatin', and follow them to the dessicated carcass of an antelope. Thank GOD Mr. Grylls found this one bit of leftovers too far gone to partake of.
*while in the sewers of some East Asian country, whoop in delight at the sight of a bullfrog, grab the bullfrog by the legs and dash its head against a wall, and immediately chomp into the frog's midsection, grinning at the entrails dangling from his mouth. Ladies and gents, that was my far the most horrifying thing I have ever seen on television, and it still makes my stomach roll over to think of it.
So in short,
=
*As I was writing this OP, my roommate shrieked from the other room that Bear had just found a half-scavenged zebra carcass and was slicing bits off and devouring them. What. the. fuck.