3 AM Thoughts

[OtakuLoki]

It's the middle of the night and I'm awake, I'm find myself beset by a Greek chorus in my head, of what I call my "3 AM Thoughts." These are when the little voices of negative self-talk all come out and start to assail me.

Rehashing the errors of the day; pointing out patterns of self-destructive behavior; magnifying ever personal flaw until the conclusion should be obvious: that society will never accept one; rehashing the errors of days twenty years past...

In short all the insecurities past and present come out to play, and there's just something about this hour that leaves them magnified.

Everyone I've ever mentioned the expression "3 AM Thoughts" to has known exactly what I meant by them, and I do take comfort in knowing they're a pretty common phenomenon.

Why am I posting about them, now? Simple really. This post isn't for you, the reader - though I welcome your comment and thoughts about these lousy character assassins. This post is my opportunity to communicate one thought back to the greek chorus, with the sincere hope that the little bastards choke on it:


You lie! Even when you tell the truth you present facts in such a distorted manner it becomes a lie.

And you bastards have no power over me.




Thank you for your time, and I hope everyone has a good night.

[Papaw]

My 3 AM thoughts come during the day! I work 4 nights a week from 530 PM to 630 AM. At 3 AM I am usually busy with paperwork or dispatch duties in a trucking company. Granted, the night shift is much better than days for me, since I don't like the pace of our business during the day. Hell, I wouldn't be able to browse the net and post on Mellophant!

[jali]

I leave the TV on all night to avoid these thoughts. If I would allow the 3 am thoughts to take over, I don't know if I'd be able to function the next day since they are merciless, and that feeling of despair is so difficult to shake.

OtakuLoki, sending you a big hug to hold on to as armor against the next attack. KNOW that for every negative thought about yourself that comes to mind, there are people out here with something positive to say about you.

[Sarahfeena]

The best thing about having little kids is that I'm so tired I rarely wake up to have 3 am thoughts. I've been known to leave the TV on like Jali to avoid them, though.

Why do we do this to ourselves, I wonder?

[Taumpy]

Yup, count me in as another TV watcher. I haven't fallen asleep without the DVD player on in.. years. For me the Greek chorus shows up around midnight, before I've slept at all. If I wake up sometime before morning luckily my thoughts usually don't go farther than either "need snack" or "must pee".

[OneCentStamp]

In short all the insecurities past and present come out to play, and there's just something about this hour that leaves them magnified.

I think it's that we are at our most alone at that hour. I mean, we're all alone, but at 3:00AM there's just no hiding or denying it.

[What Exit?]

I get these thoughts at times, but rarely at 3am unless my insomnia is really acting up. Once I fall asleep, I tend to stay asleep. I use to get them far more when I was younger, thankfully I seem to have largely left this behind. Hopefully your post helps you turn the corner on these negative thoughts.

[Inner Stickler]

Yeah, those three am thoughts can be a bitch. I find, though, if I listen hard enough and relax enough I can hear a tiny little voice under all the bad thoughts and it whispers in my ear, "Everything's gonna be ok."

[Jaglavak]

I usually grab my 3 AM thoughts by the neck, drag them close, and snarl, "Eat shit you sons of bitches!!!!"

[OtakuLoki]

I think it's that we are at our most alone at that hour. I mean, we're all alone, but at 3:00AM there's just no hiding or denying it.

There's a lot of truth to this, I think.


To everyone, thanks for your kind thoughts. Really, though, last night was a pretty good night. I may have had the thoughts, but I was in a place where I could tell them to go to Hell, and not worry about it. And that positive feeling was really what I wanted to share - the defiance against 'em.