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Thread: Fluffy Snow is a terrible thing

  1. #1
    Administrator CatInASuit's avatar
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    Default Fluffy Snow is a terrible thing

    Yes, it is. It is entirely responsible for putting the southern network of trains in the UK out of action because the stupid morons in charge of are incapable of doing much beyond drooling into their bibs.

    Seriously, how can you say that with a straight face given that you managed to cancel most of the trains and delay all the others.

    Ok, Friday with a nasty snowfall, you may not have been prepared for and may have made life a little difficult for the peabrains running the operation. After all a few unseasonal inches of snow just means you need to make sure the tracks are clear and the engines are ready for the cold weather. Ok, that didn't stop you becoming a joke for yet another year, for the kind of planning that a three year old could figure out.

    On Saturday the trains ran fine.
    On Sunday the trains ran fine.

    Monday morning, a light dusting of fluffy snow and up go the Delayed and Cancelled notices across the board again. You had all weekend to fix it, and instead you act with all the intelligence of a diseased ameoba.

    Are you that incapable that you have to fall back on the lamest excuses since leaves on the line. If you can't make the trains run on time, at least start up a comedy club because that's all your good for.
    In the land of the blind, the one-arm man is king.

  2. #2
    Curmudgeon OtakuLoki's avatar
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    I have nothing substantive to add to the OP.

    I simply want to say that I think Fluffy Snow would be an awesome porn name.

  3. #3
    aka ivan the not-quite-as-terrible ivan astikov's avatar
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    I like Snowy Fluff. Just saying, like.
    To sleep, perchance to experience amygdalocortical activation and prefrontal deactivation.

  4. #4
    Elen síla lumenn' omentielvo What Exit?'s avatar
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    I take it this is unrelated to the Chunnel train issues? Might be time for England to get a Fascist leader or at least a new Maggie Thatcher.


  5. #5
    Administrator CatInASuit's avatar
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    No, it's related to the Chunnel trains as well.

    They had the problem of going from freezing cold in France into the warm tunnel air and promptly breaking down.

    The cause: fluffy snow.
    In the land of the blind, the one-arm man is king.

  6. #6
    Elen síla lumenn' omentielvo What Exit?'s avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by CatInASuit View post
    No, it's related to the Chunnel trains as well.

    They had the problem of going from freezing cold in France into the warm tunnel air and promptly breaking down.

    The cause: fluffy snow.
    I heard this morning that officials were questioning the theory of "going from freezing cold in France into the warm tunnel air" as it has never been an issue in the past. But this was just a short report on the radio.

    If I recall correctly 4 trains broke down on Friday and then the test train also broke down on the weekend when the weather conditions had returned to normal.

  7. #7
    Stegodon
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    You can imagine the conversation:

    Big Boss: Now as you may have heard, gentlemen, the weather in the British Isles is occasionally less than balmy. And it struck me that, just for a change of pace, we might want to see if we could keep our trains running even in, ooh, let's say, winter.
    Flunky #1: Winter?! Man is not meant to meddle in such things!
    Flunky #2: That's good thinking sir! How on earth do you do it?
    BB: Well, they don't pay me this small goddam fortune just to sit on my well-upholstered arse you know. Anyhow, I briefed our Chief Engineer on this back in March, and he should be reporting back now. Ah, there you are Chief - job all done?
    CE: Pretty much sir, yes.
    BB: Pretty much, Chief?
    CE: Yes sir. We've proofed the trains and network against sleet, hail, rain, wind, powdery snow, slushy snow, mushy snow, fine snow, coarse snow and icy snow.
    BB: Good man! Sounds like you've got it nailed.
    CE: Well sir, I'd have said so but I'll be perfectly honest with you - just before I came in here, one of the apprentices asked me about fluffy snow.
    BB: Fluffy snow?
    FF#1&2: Fluffy snow?
    CE: Yes, sir, fluffy snow. It's snow that's a bit, well, fluffy. We could guard against it, but we'd have to spend the money we were saving for the Christmas bash.
    BB: Fluffy, eh? Sounds pretty harmless to me. I mean, powdery snow, that's snow you've got to worry about. And slushy snow and mushy snow are bad news, no question. But fluffy snow? Can't see that doing any harm. How about you Chief?
    CE: Oh, no sir. I think that while most snow would cause us problems, being snow, fluffy snow is unique in being the kind of snow you can get in your engines without doing any harm at all.
    BB: Excellent. Well, good job there chief, and I'll see you in the champagne hot tub at the Christmas knees-up.
    amrussell on SDMB

  8. #8
    Resident Troublemaker beebs's avatar
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    ^
    This made me all tingly like a mug of warm cider.
    Last edited by beebs; 21 Dec 2009 at 10:04 AM.

  9. #9
    Prehistoric Bitchslapper Sarahfeena's avatar
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    Stanislaus, that was awesome.

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