The First Ever "Mello" Novel

[pepperlandgirl]

Here is the Google document. Anybody can view it, but only the posters with permission can edit it.


This morning, I was going about my usual routine, when I stumbled upon this call for submissions. As I read it, I realized one of two things was happening. Either the publisher has no idea how publishing works, or they're targeting people who have no idea how publishing work. I honestly can't decide, though I do know I don't like this publisher very much. For one thing, their contract is not author-friendly in the least, and there are certain bad clauses that they won't compromise on. Second, I don't believe they edit books and I do believe they will accept damned near anything. Third, they are responsible for some really horrible books like Knight Moves, so how seriously can we take these people anyway? If you're not familiar with the book, here's a (very small) sample of what I'm talking about

I don’t even know what century I’m in right now. And I don’t care. All I care about is getting Gorgeous Mystery Knight’s giant codpiece up my twat in a hurry.

Read the whole review if you have the time. It's worth it!

Here is what I propose: As a group, we write an erotic romance novel to submit to that publisher. They want our NaNo novels? Then we'll give them what they want. It will all be kept in a single google document that I'll grant access to. Here are the ground rules for our new smash novel Angels in the Misty. You don't have to have any writing experience. As long as you're capable of stringing together 1700 words in a somewhat coherent way, then we want you!

1) A minimum of 50,000 words and a maximum of 60,000 words.
2) It must be an erotic romance (that means there will be explicit sex and a Happy Ever After ending)
3) The main couple will be m/f, but as far as sexual content goes, anything short of bodily functions, incest, bestiality, and rape will be appropriate. You want to write an orgy with 20 people involved? Go for it!
4) I'll provide chapter titles within the document itself. Use the titles for inspiration for the chapter, do not edit, add, or subtract chapter titles. Each chapter should be 1700 words long.
5) I'll provide a list of characters. You can manipulate the characters anyway you choose, but please do not add more to the cast.
6) We'll use this prompt from the great site They Fight Crime

Mathias Kaufmann is a bookish coffee-fuelled barbarian possessed of the uncanny powers of an insect. Lucinda Dunkley is a hard-bitten tomboy angel with a knack for trouble. They fight crime!

Cast of Characters (Check the continuity thread for details on each character).
Mathias Kaufmann (Hero)
Lucinda Dunkley (Heroine)
Catherine T. Moore
Muhanned Sulaiman Sabbag
Isabel Ancher
Wang T'an
Ewout E. Eriksen
Gracie L. Brooks
Robert M. Davis
Marana Nieto Duarte

Chapter Titles (Chapters in italics are complete. Titles by Random Title Generator)
1. Angels in the Misty (Zuul)
2. The Mists of the Sky (Elyanna)
3. The Sword's Cloud (Zuul)
4. Sword of Secret (pepperlandgirl)
5. The Black River (Feirefiz)
6. Silver Years (threnody)
7. Frozen Roses (jali)
8. The Darkest Wife (pepperlandgirl)
9. Legacy of Teacher (OtakuLoki)
10. The Man's Star (Elyanna)
11. The Husband of the Destiny (Skald the Rhymer)
12. Servants in the Twins (Myrnalene)
13. Vacant Serpent (vison)
14. The Wet Kiss (pepperlandgirl)
15. Sky of Pleasure
16. The Voyagers's Vision
17. The Destruction of the Thief (Gumby)
18. Flame in the Voyages
19. Unwilling Years
20. The Azure End (Taumpy)
21. Boyfriend of Captive (binks)
22. The Spirit's Force
23. The Wizard of the Slaves (Inner Stickler)
24. Sliver in the Star
25. Playful Consort (Zuul)
26. The Bound Shard
27. Silence of Healing
28. The Slave's Body
29. Voyagers in the Man (Zuul)
30. The Dreamer of the Bride (pepperlandgirl)

What you need to do: Comment with your email address and which chapters you would like to write. You can choose as many or as few as you like, and it's first come first serve. Once a chapter is posted to the document, anybody with access to the doc may edit as necessary. Since this is NaNoWriMo, our goal is to complete this novel by Dec 1.

ETA: You can sign up at any time! You can also request new chapters at any time! So if you're a little undecided now, it's cool, you can come back later.

[Inner Stickler]

bdbartemes@csbsju.edu, please and I'll take ch. 23 if no one has any objections.

[Inner Stickler]

So we should write the chapter beforehand and paste it completed into the doc?

[Myrnalene]

I would like to play, but 1) I never write fiction so will be crap at it (which I guess won't matter much here) and 2) I want to see what other people are doing before I try. :/

[pepperlandgirl]

So we should write the chapter beforehand and paste it completed into the doc?

Yes, that would probably be for the best. If you write it in Word or Open Office, you can make sure it's spell-checked (we're not barbarians after all) and make sure that the word count is ~1700.

[pepperlandgirl]

I would like to play, but 1) I never write fiction so will be crap at it (which I guess won't matter much here) and 2) I want to see what other people are doing before I try. :/

You can sign up for some later chapters, Myrna, and wait until people have posted before you.

[Inner Stickler]

(That was my plan. Also The Wizard of the Slaves sounds cool.)

[Zuul]

I shall take chapters one, three, and twenty-five!

And I'll be using the email address I've used with Google Documents with you before. I'd rather not post it up here, though.

[Elyanna]

MY CHAPTER WILL BE THE BEST CHAPTER EVER

kaylenejo@gmail.com

[Zuul]

MY CHAPTER WILL BE THE BEST CHAPTER EVER

kaylenejo@gmail.com

(but which chapter is that?)

[pepperlandgirl]

MY CHAPTER WILL BE THE BEST CHAPTER EVER

kaylenejo@gmail.com

WHICH CHAPTER(S) ARE YOU CLAIMING?

[Gumby]

Okay, I would like in on this since I enjoy writing short stories, and I've tried writing a novel but I still have never finished it. This seems a nice middle ground.

I'll take chapter 17. The Destruction of the Thief

[Elyanna]

WHICH CHAPTER(S) ARE YOU CLAIMING?

THE BEST ONE.

[pepperlandgirl]

THE BEST ONE.

CHAPTER 2 IT IS!

[threnody]

I'd like "Silver Years" please

[OtakuLoki]

I'd like to sign up for chapter 9: Legacy of Teacher

[jali]

I'd love to to a really bad "Frozen Roses". Sounds like fun!

"Chapter 7, she said demurely although her body said something totally different. Her breasts, straining against the coarse material she was forced, by circumstances beyond her control, to wear, heaved with emotion."

[pepperlandgirl]

thren, loki, and Jali, I need your email addresses too, please, so I can give you permission to edit the google document.

[Zuul]

Chapter one is up, ya slackers.

I feel it really sets the tone for what sort of novel this is going to be.

[Myrnalene]

I will take Chapter 12 and will PM you my email!

[binks]

I want chapter 21! PMing you my email now.

[vison]

Comment with my email address here? Like, in this post?

[pepperlandgirl]

Comment with my email address here? Like, in this post?

Yes, post your email address and tell me what chapter you want.

[vison]

Chapter 13: The Vacant Serpent. Will pm email address.

[Taumpy]

I'll take chapter 20. The Azure End

[Zuul]

You know what? I'ma do me the climax of the book. I'm claiming 29. Voyagers in the Man.

And I'm writing it waaaaaay before anyone else gets near the climax, so y'all know where the book is going.

[pepperlandgirl]

You know what? I'ma do me the climax of the book. I'm claiming 29. Voyagers in the Man.

And I'm writing it waaaaaay before anyone else gets near the climax, so y'all know where the book is going.

I've been claiming chapters to bridge a few gaps. But I'm going to take the last chapter and write it before I write anything else

[OtakuLoki]

Would it be unfair to challenge our writers to see how many times we can kill off one of the so-called minor characters?

[Feirefiz]

I think at least minimal background for some of the other characters and very general outlines of the overall plot (or at least some constraints) would be helpful.

[pepperlandgirl]

I think at least minimal background for some of the other characters and very general outlines of the overall plot (or at least some constraints) would be helpful.

By the time we get to chapter 5, you should have background information on several of the characters, and you can create background info for any characters you wish to. As for the plot, this project is essentially a Round Robin--we're building the plot as we go. We do have a thread to keep track of continuity issues, and if you want to talk to the people immediately before or after your chapter to discuss a possible "arc" you're more than welcome to do that.

Otakuloki, as long as one of the two main characters isn't falling dead every 1700 words, that's fine.

[Zuul]

Chapter Twenty-Nine is done!

[Elyanna]

CHAPTER TWO DONE

[jali]

Our yet unwritten novel has already been made into a movie - amazing!

Someone on the SDMB found this. There's a whole series of these.
http://www.youtube.com/v/P30izs2jDRg..._embedded&fs=1

[Feirefiz]

Oh my god.

[jeremy_mccurdy]

This is a hilarious and insane project, I love it. I don't really have the time to contribute, but I will happily read the end result.

Our yet unwritten novel has already been made into a movie - amazing!

Someone on the SDMB found this. There's a whole series of these.
http://www.youtube.com/v/P30izs2jDRg..._embedded&fs=1

It's like a student art film with a lower budget, and everyone decided to do meth before filming. FANTASTIC!

[Zuul]

I'm wondering if we should also post each chapter of the Mellonovel as its own thread in WHWN? If you just want to go through and read a new chapter in the Google doc, it can be a little difficult and it'll only get more so as more chapters are added.

[Feirefiz]

I'm wondering if we should also post each chapter of the Mellonovel as its own thread in WHWN? If you just want to go through and read a new chapter in the Google doc, it can be a little difficult and it'll only get more so as more chapters are added.

There is just one thing to keep in mind. So far we could go back and make changes if that's necessary for some reason. That is a bigger hassle if the chapters are posted. I don't know whether that's a real concern.

Apart from that I think it is a good idea.

[Zuul]

There is just one thing to keep in mind. So far we could go back and make changes if that's necessary for some reason. That is a bigger hassle if the chapters are posted. I don't know whether that's a real concern.

Apart from that I think it is a good idea.

If I read pepper right, I think the plan is to not go back and make changes. I could be wrong, though.

[pepperlandgirl]

If I read pepper right, I think the plan is to not go back and make changes. I could be wrong, though.

No, people are allowed to make changes in the document if they deem it necessary. I mean, I don't want people editing each other's chapters without rhyme or reason, but you're allowed to go back and fiddle with your own, etc. Though now I think about it, I wonder if that's asking for trouble.

You're right though, reading each chapter in the document itself can be rather difficult. I still want to keep them all centralized, though. How about from now on, each chapter is posted in the document and as a new thread?

[Zuul]

You're right though, reading each chapter in the document itself can be rather difficult. I still want to keep them all centralized, though. How about from now on, each chapter is posted in the document and as a new thread?

That's actually what I'd been suggesting, but I didn't word it very well. Heh. Sounds good.

[pepperlandgirl]

That's actually what I'd been suggesting, but I didn't word it very well. Heh. Sounds good.

Ok, I posted the first three chapters already. From now on, each author can post their chapter in the doc, and then start a new thread.

[Feirefiz]

Any news on this one?

I have to admit that I am not even close to finishing. Then again, a little renewed motivation just in time for the weekend could help.

[Inner Stickler]

Frankly, I'm kinda waiting for my play to end so that my evenings are free. I think my chapter is still isolated so I can write whatever the fuck I want and make other people adjust to me.

[Sarahfeena]

What's going on with this? Are you guys still doing it (I hope I hope)?

[Feirefiz]

What's going on with this? Are you guys still doing it (I hope I hope)?

To be honest I didn't make any progress since my last post. When I got little response and couldn't tell whether anyone was still writing I got the impression that the project had died a quiet death.
If anyone wants to keep this going I could still do my chapter.

[pepperlandgirl]

The problem is that Zuul and I were both next for our chapters, but we got slammed with "real world" writing obligations. I know that she's been pretty busy with some looming deadlines, and I have been as well. Stupid looming deadlines *mutter*. Anyway, I'm going to get my chapter 4 done as soon as humanly possible, because I don't want the project to die a quiet death (though honestly a lot of people have signed up that have since left the board one way or the other and so it might peter out simply from lack of man power).

[Sarahfeena]

I'll bet some of them would still be willing to participate if you asked...