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Thread: MelloRants. Like Mini-Rants only...Mello.

  1. #201
    PixieBob
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    DAMMIT, Some moderator has infringed on my right to free speech.

  2. #202
    PixieBob
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    oh...there is is...never mind.

  3. #203
    Prehistoric Bitchslapper Sarahfeena's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Orual View post
    Quote Originally posted by Sarahfeena View post
    I can't take my 4-year-old anywhere because he WON'T STAND STILL and he WON'T FOLLOW WHERE I'M GOING IF HE WANTS TO GO SOMEPLACE ELSE. It's making COMPLETELY INSANE.
    Have you considered getting the kid a leash? Some of them are sort of cute.
    Yeah, we actually have that monkey one, but the problem is that those work more for the "wandering away" kind of kid, not the, "sits down and won't move or takes off running" kind of kid. It tends to work better when they're smaller and not in the defiant stage. Unfortunately.
    Last edited by Sarahfeena; 29 Mar 2011 at 04:27 PM.

  4. #204
    A Groupie Marsilia's avatar
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    Seriously, friend's boyfriend, we're not friends. You actually creep me out a little, and I'm pissed off at you for calling my other friend a faggot. Stop IMing me.
    So, I'll whisper in the dark, hoping you'll hear me.

  5. #205
    Oliphaunt
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    I knew that the haircut was going to be bad as it was happening, yet I did not stop the stylist.

    Now I am a homely old hag.

  6. #206
    A Dude Peeta Mellark's avatar
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    Don't look at it as a bad haircut. Look at it as a fabulous opportunity to try hair extensions and wigs?

    WE CAN REBUILD HER.

  7. #207
    Oliphaunt
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    It is my just punishment for going to SuperCuts ...

  8. #208
    Administrator CatInASuit's avatar
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    To the short people with umbrellas and not looking where they are going.

    Please stop trying to poke my eyes out.

    Thank you.
    In the land of the blind, the one-arm man is king.

  9. #209
    Administrator CatInASuit's avatar
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    I want a coffee. Right now.

    It has been long and stressful day and I want a coffee. Right. Now.

    Stupid Willpower over Lent
    In the land of the blind, the one-arm man is king.

  10. #210
    Mi parolas esperanton malbone Trojan Man's avatar
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    My legs are aching to the point where I can't sleep. I want a fresh pair of legs dammit!

  11. #211
    Elen síla lumenn' omentielvo What Exit?'s avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by spitz View post
    My legs are aching to the point where I can't sleep. I want a fresh pair of legs dammit!
    Why are they aching?

  12. #212
    A Groupie Marsilia's avatar
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    Really, dude? Really? You kept up your phone conversation at the register, dropped a wadded up bill on the counter to pay, counted your change four times like I was going to stiff you, then told me to have a blessed day? Fuck you and your fake ass blessing.
    So, I'll whisper in the dark, hoping you'll hear me.

  13. #213
    Mi parolas esperanton malbone Trojan Man's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by What Exit? View post
    Quote Originally posted by spitz View post
    My legs are aching to the point where I can't sleep. I want a fresh pair of legs dammit!
    Why are they aching?
    Coz I did a lot of work/walking that day, and I have ongoing problems with my back (courtesy of a childhood accident). Sometimes they ache and throb and I can't sleep. Ah well.

  14. #214
    Mi parolas esperanton malbone Trojan Man's avatar
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    Sorry, I fogot this is a rant thread.


    I really really hate IE. It's completely useless. Grrr. Feel the fury!

  15. #215
    Mi parolas esperanton malbone Trojan Man's avatar
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    ...and I think I'm developing another ulcer. Yay.
    Last edited by Trojan Man; 15 Apr 2011 at 09:41 PM. Reason: spitz, step away from the ranty thread... :(

  16. #216
    Prehistoric Bitchslapper Sarahfeena's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by spitz View post
    Quote Originally posted by What Exit? View post
    Quote Originally posted by spitz View post
    My legs are aching to the point where I can't sleep. I want a fresh pair of legs dammit!
    Why are they aching?
    Coz I did a lot of work/walking that day, and I have ongoing problems with my back (courtesy of a childhood accident). Sometimes they ache and throb and I can't sleep. Ah well.
    I get achy legs, too. It's getting worse, and I know I have to go see a doctor about it, and I don't want to!

  17. #217
    Mi parolas esperanton malbone Trojan Man's avatar
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    Now my whole spitz is achy

  18. #218
    Oliphaunt
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    My foot hurts in a specific, do-I-have-a-stress-fracture sort of way. This probably mean I should buy new shoes and go to the doctor. But I don' wanna.

  19. #219
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    After two long Bank Holiday weekends, back to back, I really don't want to be back in work.
    In the land of the blind, the one-arm man is king.

  20. #220
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    I worked overtime today. Spent most of it correcting the mistakes of my colleagues. Who'd gone home. I got pretty much nothing done, so I was annoyed.

    I got in my car to drive home. The road is nice and windy, but poor visibility. So when I got stuck behind two cyclists in colourful suits, merrily riding along shoulder to shoulder, I was unable to safely pass. They knew I was there, they knew I couldn't get past, yet they did not move.

    Now, I'm all in favour of cycling, but mutual respect in traffic saves lives. So, for fuck's sake, when your holding people up on the road, move your shiny bikes 2 feet to your right onto the 7 foot wide fucking bike path! Yeah, there's a bike path. Paved. Nice and smooth, though perhaps not quite as smooth as the road. It runs parallell to the road all the way. I considered plowing through them, but I knew I'd probably get caught while peeing on their still breathing, mangled, not-quite-yet corpses.

  21. #221
    Oliphaunt Rube E. Tewesday's avatar
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    Man, why are so many cyclists total dicks? Expect drivers to give them the whole road when they're on the road, expect pedestrians to scatter when they think it's more convenient to go on the sidewalk or breeze through a crosswalk.

  22. #222
    The Queen Zuul's avatar
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    It's the "I am being environmentally/health conscious, therefore I can be a raging asshole" thought process, I think.
    So now they are just dirt-covered English people in fur pelts with credit cards.

  23. #223
    Oliphaunt Rube E. Tewesday's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Zuul View post
    It's the "I am being environmentally/health conscious, therefore I can be a raging asshole" thought process, I think.
    Amazingly common, that one.

  24. #224
    Elephant Claptree's avatar
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    I'd actually suggest removing the link to them being cyclists and just call them assholes. They'd probably be just as massive a pair of assholes on foot or in a car.

    If I ever spot them again, I'm going to stay behind them, leaning on the horn, until our paths split.

  25. #225
    Prehistoric Bitchslapper Sarahfeena's avatar
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    OMG I would have been a ball of rage. Kudos to you for not running the off the road, Claptree. Seriously.

  26. #226
    Elephant Claptree's avatar
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    Oh, I was grabbing the wheel with white knuckles until I got home, believe me. Fortunately I was low on gas, so I didn't dare to treat the throttle too badly.

  27. #227
    Oliphaunt
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    I set my iPod in its deck an hour ago. I picked it up just now to go out and run some errands, and the screen is totally blank. Poking at the buttons doesn't help. Trying to sync it with my iTunes avails nothing. It doesn't even register as connected to my computer. It ded. I sad.

  28. #228
    Prehistoric Bitchslapper Sarahfeena's avatar
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    Orual, that sucks. My nook died this weekend, and I'm waiting for a new one. It's only a few days, but it feels like forever.

  29. #229
    Oliphaunt Rube E. Tewesday's avatar
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    I reallly hope I left my billfold at home and didn't lose it on the subway.

  30. #230
    Oliphaunt
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    My nook is also possessed by evil spirits, Sarah. But I'm afraid to take it into the B&N, because I know they'll take it away ...

  31. #231
    Oliphaunt
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    God damn you, coworkers, for putting me in a position where I have to be a snitchy tattletale.

  32. #232
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    Dear co-workers, if you use the last of the milk in the fridge, go and buy some more.
    In the land of the blind, the one-arm man is king.

  33. #233
    Oliphaunt Rube E. Tewesday's avatar
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    Retards, why do you go to your kids' school concert if you're going to talk the whole time, including when your own kid is performing?

    And when I tell you to shut up, don't tell me I'm being rude, although I do appreciate you keeping your piehole shut after that.

  34. #234
    The Queen Zuul's avatar
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    INTERNET!

    Why you so difficult?
    So now they are just dirt-covered English people in fur pelts with credit cards.

  35. #235
    A Groupie Marsilia's avatar
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    Dear Little Old Lady,

    If you don't know your own e-mail address, you probably should not have other electronic devices. Why are you so insistent about getting an e-reader?

    No Love,

    Me
    So, I'll whisper in the dark, hoping you'll hear me.

  36. #236
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    Dear Bank,

    In this electronic age of instant money transfers, why does it take you over a month to set up a direct debit.

    From someone having to pay things manually until you pull your finger out.
    In the land of the blind, the one-arm man is king.

  37. #237
    Oliphaunt
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    It is a great truth of the universe that any time I put in some effort to make myself look nice, something inevitably will occur to ruin the effect, i.e. rain, excessive heat, and humidity. Also pouring half of my coffee down my front like a dipshit. FUUUUUUUUUU

  38. #238
    Prehistoric Bitchslapper Sarahfeena's avatar
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    OMG the guys working on my neighbor's house have the music turned up SO LOUD it is driving me insane. I'm seriously going to lose my mind.

  39. #239
    Oliphaunt
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    Damn you, wisdom teeth. Dam you straight to hell.

    And a double-damn to the dentist who told me, at 19 (when it would have been easy to deal with oral surgery repercussions), that I "don't need to worry about your wisdom teeth, they look fine!"

  40. #240
    Administrator CatInASuit's avatar
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    Since when did Firefox 4 become such a buggy piece of crap.

    Seriously, it's crashing at least once or twice a day where 3.6 was pretty stable.
    In the land of the blind, the one-arm man is king.

  41. #241
    The Apostabulous Inner Stickler's avatar
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    I'm just not going to look at my facebook groups or I'm going to get sucked into another dumb argument on that stupid amendment page and it's going to be really embarrassing to explain burst forehead veins.

    Also, I'm going to my first funeral tomorrow and I'm deathly afraid of The Giggle Loop but I can't try my usual method of joking about it on Facebook without risking offending someone. Maybe Twitter will work.
    I don't think so, therefore I'm probably not.

  42. #242
    Administrator CatInASuit's avatar
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    Dear big city visitors. I know this may be your first time to the big smoke, but please pretty please don't be so dumb as to stand in front of the door of a commuter train and try to get on when it pulls in.

    You will be flattened by those getting off and delay everyone else getting on.
    In the land of the blind, the one-arm man is king.

  43. #243
    A Groupie Marsilia's avatar
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    Dear Hospital Staff,

    One of you knocked my eighty-something year old grandmother to the ground and into a brick wall. You damn well better take care of her, since you are in a mother fucking hospital and one of you knocked her to the ground and into a brick wall. There is no excuse for ignoring her or diminishing the fact that she was knocked to the ground and into a brick wall by one of you. Yes, she's a sweet old lady who won't push matters. No, her daughters and grandchildren are not. You are damn lucky someone read between the lines when my mother didn't actually threaten a lawsuit, and you're even more lucky that my eighty-something year old grandmother was not seriously injured after being knocked to the ground and into a brick wall.

    No Love,

    Marsilia
    So, I'll whisper in the dark, hoping you'll hear me.

  44. #244
    The Queen Zuul's avatar
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    Fuckers. I'm glad they finally looked her over and she's okay, but that really pisses me off that somebody had to talk to them to get action.
    So now they are just dirt-covered English people in fur pelts with credit cards.

  45. #245
    A Groupie Marsilia's avatar
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    You've met Memaw, Zuul. She's not exactly the type to insist that she be taken care of. Even when I called to check on her, she'd been up frying chicken because my cousin came over to do some work for them. Woman needed to be checked out. Too bad it took my mom going in and saying pointed things to make it happen.
    So, I'll whisper in the dark, hoping you'll hear me.

  46. #246
    Stegodon Campionaki's avatar
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    For at least the third year in a row, my state legislature cannot settle on a budget, causing a complete government shutdown. This year, the kicker is that instead of just telling everyone to go home and wait for a call, they're LAYING EVERYONE OFF. Everyone. Including my father, who has worked for the state his whole life. Now, he'll get his job back when they go and rehire everyone. But by laying everyone off, they have to pay out their benefits. And yet, they don't balk at costing taxpayers MILLIONS OF DOLLARS just for a petty squabble over a budget.

    If I could, I would throw the whole lot of them out on their butts and replace them with people who would at least be willing to discuss the issues at hand intelligently.

    Grr.

  47. #247
    Stegodon kk fusion's avatar
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    Air pockets in toothpaste <rage>.

  48. #248
    A Groupie Marsilia's avatar
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    Dear Fucking Pedophile Who Tried To Film My Good Friend's Rape,

    Me again. I know we haven't spoken directly in something like four years, and I have a very good reason for that, I promise. I DON'T WANT TO TALK TO YOU, YOU DISGUSTING, SUBHUMAN PIECE OF SHIT!!!!! I don't care that someone else has taken it upon themselves to get you periodically banned from Facebook and you keep coming back and trying to friend me. WE ARE NOT FRIENDS!!!!! I'm not going to suddenly forgive you for getting me arrested because you were using events to troll for teen girls, I'm not going to suddenly forgive you for trolling for teen girls, and I'm not going to suddenly forgive you for breaking my friend's trust and telling one of your pervert friends to hold off on raping her while she was drunk because you wanted to film it for later fap fodder. I hope you die of something nasty. I hope you try to approach me at work so I can fucking stab you. Then, when I get arrested because of you, I won't be so mad about it.

    Still No Love,

    Me
    So, I'll whisper in the dark, hoping you'll hear me.

  49. #249
    Oliphaunt Rube E. Tewesday's avatar
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    Dear Atlantic Magazine:

    I note that your July/August issue has cover stories on "How the Cult of Self Esteem is Ruining our Kids" and "The Case for New-Age Medicine". For a minute, I thought I must have time-travelled to 1995. But no, if it were 1995 you'd have a fun puzzle in the back of the magazine. It's definitely 2011 since, although you've no space for a puzzle and a short story, you've got space for the amazingly horrible "What's Your Problem" page.

    It was really bad timing for me to receive a melodramatic letter attempting to get me to re-subscribe the same day I receive the actual magazine.

  50. #250
    Administrator CatInASuit's avatar
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    Dear Amazon,

    Why couldn't you keep your hands off Book Depository.

    Just Saying.
    In the land of the blind, the one-arm man is king.

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