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Thread: MelloRants. Like Mini-Rants only...Mello.

  1. #151
    The Apostabulous Inner Stickler's avatar
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    Prudes.
    I don't think so, therefore I'm probably not.

  2. #152
    Prehistoric Bitchslapper Sarahfeena's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Inner Stickler View post
    Prudes.
    Dude, I'm not a prude. It's just...PDA <shudder>. Have a little dignity.

  3. #153
    Prehistoric Bitchslapper Sarahfeena's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Sarahfeena View post
    Quote Originally posted by Inner Stickler View post
    Prudes.
    Dude, I'm not a prude. It's just...PDA <shudder>. Have a little dignity.
    Maybe it's the train thing. It seems so wrong on the train.

  4. #154
    The Apostabulous Inner Stickler's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Sarahfeena View post
    Have a little dignity.
    Absolutely not. I've never had it before, why should I start now?

    *begins macking on people on the train*
    I don't think so, therefore I'm probably not.

  5. #155
    Curmudgeon OtakuLoki's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Inner Stickler View post
    *begins macking on people on the train*

  6. #156
    Oliphaunt
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    Quote Originally posted by Inner Stickler View post
    Prudes.
    IT'S PART OF MY CHARM.
    Last edited by Orual; 03 Dec 2010 at 02:34 PM.

  7. #157
    The Queen Zuul's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Some person, somewhere else
    [Weight Watcher points are] no longer based on calories--it's based instead on fat, carbs, fiber, and protein.
    *eyetwitch* Do you have any idea how stupid what you just said was? Every gram of fat has 9 calories and every gram of carbs or protein has 4 calories and insoluble fiber isn't digested. By adding those things up you are--wait for it--COUNTING CALORIES.
    So now they are just dirt-covered English people in fur pelts with credit cards.

  8. #158
    Oliphaunt Rube E. Tewesday's avatar
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    You know, drug store that has a Post Office contract, I understand that you are a hopelessly fucked up store. That's why we stopped getting our prescriptions filled there. But I can't go to another Post Office to pick up my parcel. Neither can the other people who have parcels there. So, really, even for fuck-ups like you, don't you think it's wrong to close the Post Office for an hour lunch break in the middle of a Saturday afternoon in December? Hmm?

  9. #159
    The Queen Zuul's avatar
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    Oh God, Rube. That reminds me of the PO in the small town I lived in before this. They were open from 9-4:45 and closed an hour for lunch Monday through Friday. On Saturday, they were open 9-11. Because it was rural service, they only delivered to a few of the houses in town. Everyone else had to go in and get their packages from the office. Meaning that if you had a normal job, it was next to impossible to get your mail.
    So now they are just dirt-covered English people in fur pelts with credit cards.

  10. #160
    Oliphaunt
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    Quote Originally posted by Orual View post
    OY. INTERNET-DATE GUY.

    It is obvious that you are painfully shy. That is OK, I am too. ...
    IN THE FUTURE, PLEASE TAKE SOME INITIATIVE.
    OK, fine, so internet-date-guy was apparently not so much "shy" as "completely not interested in me". ::sigh::

    Also it's raining and my shoes are wet.

  11. #161
    The Queen Zuul's avatar
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    Find something to kick, Orual. Kick it hard!
    So now they are just dirt-covered English people in fur pelts with credit cards.

  12. #162
    Oliphaunt
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    Quote Originally posted by Zuul View post


    Find something to kick, Orual. Kick it hard!
    :: punts a wastepaper basket::

    I plan to deal with my vexation as I do many vexations: by building death traps for my Sims.

  13. #163
    Stegodon
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    Hey Hawk that ran into my window and broke it: Fuck you. Fuck you very much. I hope it gave you a whopper of a damn headache. Stupid suburban hawk.

    Hey work: do you think that maybe, just once, we can work on doing some preventative maintenance on exterior doors and lights in the spring, summer or fall? I'm fairly sure crawling around on hands and knees on top of a solid sheet of ice with a fucking propane torch to make the dock locks work isn't an electrical issue, nor is it any kind of right.

    Hey, menfolk of my household: when it is agreed that y'all will take care of the snow and ice, do that. Not a half-assed midway through the snowfall and never get back out there bullshit effort, but actually do it until the job is FINISHED. As in, steps, porch, sidewalk and driveway all thoroughly cleared of y'know, snow and motherfucking ice. Scattered salt or ice melt is acceptable.

    Oh, and when you say you'll take care of our friend with cancer and dig out her 3 foot porch and path to her vehicle? Maybe 3 in the afternoon the next day isn't an appropriate time to wander over to see if it's magically melted away!

    And furnace? Yeah, you know you're guilty. You can just stop with the cutesy acting up and do your damn job, too!

    Grr!
    Last edited by Queen Tonya; 13 Dec 2010 at 04:06 PM.
    Science flies you to the moon; religion flies you into buildings.

  14. #164
    Prehistoric Bitchslapper Sarahfeena's avatar
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    Let it out, QT!!!! You sound like you need it.

  15. #165
    A Groupie Marsilia's avatar
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    Dear Fucking Pedophile Who Tried To Film My Good Friend's Rape,

    That was a year of my life I'll never get back, you fucking cock. Everything that happened goes back to you. I lost a job, I lost friends, and I nearly lost my mind because your pretend reality where you weren't doing illegal things behind closed doors brought down a fuck ton of bullshit on the rest of us. So, no. I do not want to be your friend on Facebook. I do not want to speak to you at conventions. I do not want your little minion trying to talk me into forgiving you for dismantling my life so thoroughly. Stay the fuck away from me.

    No Love,

    Marsilia
    So, I'll whisper in the dark, hoping you'll hear me.

  16. #166
    A Groupie Marsilia's avatar
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    P.S.

    You are a bad, bad person, and everything in me wants to go all stabby on your face.
    So, I'll whisper in the dark, hoping you'll hear me.

  17. #167
    A Groupie Marsilia's avatar
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    P.S.

    You are a bad, bad person, and everything in me wants to go all stabby on your face.
    So, I'll whisper in the dark, hoping you'll hear me.

  18. #168
    Administrator CatInASuit's avatar
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    I think the double post gremlin agreed with you Marsilia
    In the land of the blind, the one-arm man is king.

  19. #169
    Prehistoric Bitchslapper Sarahfeena's avatar
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    As well he should...geez, Mars, I'm really sorry.

    WTF is it with people thinking Facebook makes bygones be bygones? Fuck that.

  20. #170
    DeWitt Hoser 5er's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Queen Tonya View post

    Oh, and when you say you'll take care of our friend with cancer and dig out her 3 foot porch and path to her vehicle? Maybe 3 in the afternoon the next day isn't an appropriate time to wander over to see if it's magically melted away!
    Bah. Unless your friend has cancer of BOTH LEGS there's no reason she can't get her fat ass outside and chisel her own goddamn car out of the glacier.










    But I appreciated the thought nonetheless.

  21. #171
    A Groupie Marsilia's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by CatInASuit View post
    I think the double post gremlin agreed with you Marsilia
    I really really want to stab him in the face.
    Quote Originally posted by Sarahfeena View post
    As well he should...geez, Mars, I'm really sorry.

    WTF is it with people thinking Facebook makes bygones be bygones? Fuck that.
    Exactly. And, he does this every time he comes across my name for any reason. I friend someone who happened to friend him, he has to try to friend me. One of his friends sees me out in public, he has to try to friend me. As he really is a registered sex offender, I've tried to get him kicked off Facebook, but he keeps popping back up. I'm not sure if he's just lying to them about the charges, or has convinced them that he's being harassed, or what.
    So, I'll whisper in the dark, hoping you'll hear me.

  22. #172
    Elen síla lumenn' omentielvo What Exit?'s avatar
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    Could you maybe report him for harassing you to the actual police? Assuming you have told him to not contact or friend you.

    It seems like being a registered sex offender is plenty of reason to not be allowed on Facebook or any other location like it that teens use regularly. What is Facebook's policy on this?

  23. #173
    The Queen Zuul's avatar
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    From what I've been able to find, Facebook is pretty lax about getting rid of sex offenders. They've claimed that they're taking an offensive position against them, but while MySpace went through last year and found 90,000 of them and deleted their accounts, Facebook says they've only found around 5,500.

    So is it that all the pervs like MySpace better? Doubtful. More likely, Facebook just isn't doing a very good job about it.
    So now they are just dirt-covered English people in fur pelts with credit cards.

  24. #174
    A Groupie Marsilia's avatar
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    I can't actually report him for harassment, since the last time I answered the phone when he called was nearly four years ago. I've told several mutual acquaintances that I can't forgive the dishonesty and can't wrap my head around the other stuff he's done. Within the past couple of years, I know of at least one girl (I think she might have been of age) who he got exceedingly drunk, watched her tell one of his friends to quit touching her, then told the would-be rapist to hold on while he got his camera. The man is sick, twisted, and in need of a good face stabbing.

    I've found myself wondering if my uncle's lake ever dries out.
    So, I'll whisper in the dark, hoping you'll hear me.

  25. #175
    Yes, I'm a cat. What's it to you? Muffin's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Zuul View post
    My niece surprised me by inviting three extra people to dinner, including someone I hate.
    So don't leave us hanging. Were you able to cook the person in such a fashion that you no longer hated her, or was she like Brussels sprouts -- either you love them or hate them no matter how they are prepared and served.

  26. #176
    The Queen Zuul's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Muffin View post
    So don't leave us hanging. Were you able to cook the person in such a fashion that you no longer hated her, or was she like Brussels sprouts -- either you love them or hate them no matter how they are prepared and served.
    I've found the addition of molten cheese tends to solve this problem, whether discussing Brussels sprouts or people.
    So now they are just dirt-covered English people in fur pelts with credit cards.

  27. #177
    Curmudgeon OtakuLoki's avatar
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    Yanno, you're in the fucking snow belt. If you can't drive more than 10 MPH on a road with no traffic, and less than a quarter inch of snow, and plenty of sand: GO SOUTH FOR THE WINTER!!!!!!!!!!!!

  28. #178
    Oliphaunt
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    OK, I left my package of Christmas gift-cookies on the kitchen table because I was trying to be a nice roommate and share. THIS WAS NOT AN INVITATION FOR ONE OF YOU GREEDY SNATCHPASTRIES TO TAKE THE WHOLE GODS-BEDAMNED PACKAGE.


    I only got 2 frigging cookies!

  29. #179
    Administrator CatInASuit's avatar
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    Dear Evening Standard, I don't mind if a puzzle has multiple solutions. I do mind if you have misprinted the problem so it has NO LOGICAL SOLUTION WHATSOEVER giving me a headache as I try to solve an impossibility.
    In the land of the blind, the one-arm man is king.

  30. #180
    like Gandalf in a way Nrblex's avatar
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    Sleep.

    Oh sleep.

    Sleep, you fucking bastard.

    Why won't you come to me?

  31. #181
    A Groupie Marsilia's avatar
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    Dear Seventy-Five Degrees Fahrenheit,

    Why are you not warmer than this? My feet and hands are freezing, and I was having muscle spasms last night that I think were because my body forgot how to not shiver. Please, stop being so cold.

    No love,

    Me.
    So, I'll whisper in the dark, hoping you'll hear me.

  32. #182
    A Groupie Marsilia's avatar
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    Seriously? Did y'all forget that it gets cold here? You're not allowed to complain about the cold if you're not going to wear a coat.
    So, I'll whisper in the dark, hoping you'll hear me.

  33. #183
    Oliphaunt
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    It's bad when your initial mental response to every new task your boss throws at you is "lick my balls", especially when you don't actually have balls, right?

  34. #184
    Administrator CatInASuit's avatar
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    The canteen has run out of bottles of Coca Cola.

    This is an emergency, someone get me some Coca Cola now, and I don't mean Diet.
    In the land of the blind, the one-arm man is king.

  35. #185
    Prehistoric Bitchslapper Sarahfeena's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by CatInASuit View post
    The canteen has run out of bottles of Coca Cola.

    This is an emergency, someone get me some Coca Cola now, and I don't mean Diet.
    Oh no you poor thing. There were days I didn't have access to a Coke at work, and it was literally all I could think about. Damn, that stuff is so addicting it should be illegal.

  36. #186
    Stegodon Campionaki's avatar
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    I have a headache, and Monday was not kind. Tuesday had better be better.

  37. #187
    Stegodon Campionaki's avatar
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    The bus heater partially melted my backpack. Not cool.

  38. #188
    Administrator CatInASuit's avatar
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    It rained all weekend. Again.

    And it was cold and grey.

    Can we have some sunshine please.
    In the land of the blind, the one-arm man is king.

  39. #189
    Oliphaunt Rube E. Tewesday's avatar
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    Dentist Office: When you give me a "courtesy call" about and upcoming appointment, shouting in the phone and blowing out my eardrum is not a "courtesy".

    If I wanted to be yelled at over the phone, I'd call my mother.

  40. #190
    Oliphaunt Rube E. Tewesday's avatar
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    Hey boss, this unflappibility that makes me a good person to toss extra projects at -- I guess you figure that means I'll remain unflappable when you never give me anything that I ask for from you?

  41. #191
    Oliphaunt
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    Anxiety blows goats. That is all.

  42. #192
    Administrator CatInASuit's avatar
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    My two favourite puzzles in the Evening Standard have been replaced by scrabblegrams.

    Bastards.
    In the land of the blind, the one-arm man is king.

  43. #193
    A Groupie Marsilia's avatar
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    Seriously, dude. You can give me the title, the author, and a freaking page-by-page synopsis. I still need to know who the order is for, and that IS NOT PRINTED ON YOUR MEMBER CARD!!!!
    So, I'll whisper in the dark, hoping you'll hear me.

  44. #194
    Oliphaunt Rube E. Tewesday's avatar
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    OK, seriously, like: My mother, my kid, my clients, all of you: The phone carries sound. YOU DON'T HAVE TO SHOUT INTO IT!

  45. #195
    Oliphaunt
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    IT IS NEVER GOING TO STOP FUCKING RAINING AND IF I AM PREVENTED FROM DOING LAUNDRY TONIGHT I WILL GO ON A TRI-STATE KILLING SPREE.

    Also, if you say you need me to do a bunch of printing for you, because you're going to pick it up at 9:30, and you STILL HAVEN'T BOTHERED TO COME GET YOUR SHIT by 11:30, I should be allowed to stab you to death with paperclips. And throw your shit out the window.

  46. #196
    Administrator CatInASuit's avatar
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    Congratulations on trying to cause fear and concern by saying that radiation from Japan has now reached Scotland.

    If only the amount itself was not really, really miniscule and have very little effect.

    Idiot reporting at its finest.
    In the land of the blind, the one-arm man is king.

  47. #197
    Oliphaunt Rube E. Tewesday's avatar
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    OK, is everybody who knows me going on Mellophant, figuring out my IRL identity, realizing that yelling into the phone annoys me, AND DECIDING TO YELL AS MUCH AS THEY CAN?

  48. #198
    Prehistoric Bitchslapper Sarahfeena's avatar
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    I can't take my 4-year-old anywhere because he WON'T STAND STILL and he WON'T FOLLOW WHERE I'M GOING IF HE WANTS TO GO SOMEPLACE ELSE. It's making COMPLETELY INSANE.

    ME =
    Last edited by Sarahfeena; 29 Mar 2011 at 04:06 PM.

  49. #199
    PixieBob
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    actually, as a conservative christian..I'm really OK with someone being queer...as long as they don't HAVE GAY SEX. The bible says nothing about your sexual tendencies, it only talks about your ACTIONS. So stop uphill farming, you welsh bastards, and you can still go to heaven.

  50. #200
    Oliphaunt
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    Quote Originally posted by Sarahfeena View post
    I can't take my 4-year-old anywhere because he WON'T STAND STILL and he WON'T FOLLOW WHERE I'M GOING IF HE WANTS TO GO SOMEPLACE ELSE. It's making COMPLETELY INSANE.
    Have you considered getting the kid a leash? Some of them are sort of cute.

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