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Thread: MelloRants. Like Mini-Rants only...Mello.

  1. #501
    Member Elendil's Heir's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Rube E. Tewesday View post
    But what's it about? I take it it's not exactly Scooby Doo...
    Indeed not. A funny, raunchy animated spy spoof. James Bond turned up to 11 and played for laughs: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=41dQluLTKDo

  2. #502
    Oliphaunt Jizzelbin's avatar
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    I could drown a toddler in my panties! Definitely pretty raunchy, but still safe for kids -- they wouldn't know wtf was going on.

    I think it's hilarious, but I'm an old man.

  3. #503
    Oliphaunt Jizzelbin's avatar
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    on second thought (or maybe only!)...there is nudity and the choke-sex....I still think kids wouldn't know wtf was going on.

    I could stare at that country-artist's boobs all day long. eta it's not porn if it's not real! don't judge me!

    yeah, so that happened. phrasing?

    are we not doing that anymore?
    Last edited by Jizzelbin; 19 Feb 2015 at 12:55 AM.

  4. #504
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    LOL. One of my favorites:

    Archer: "Woohoo! This must be what it's like to have sex with me!"
    Lana: "How could an airboat be selfish?"

  5. #505
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    You're not my supervisor!

  6. #506
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    Wait, I had something for this... wait... dammit! Eat grenade, stupids!

  7. #507
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    Wodehouse!

    (there are way to many good ones for me to recall, so I'm just going to insult you instead!)

    Srsly, Thurston Howell III? Well, I admitted to a teacher in grade school my hero was Alex P Keaton, so maybe I'm not as cool as I pretend.

    Whatever, Mister Magoo!

    Boo-yah, in your face!

    obviously, Jim Backus is the link there -- one of the great character actors

  8. #508
    Member Elendil's Heir's avatar
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    Look for him as a drunk pilot in It's A Mad Mad Mad Mad World, too. Very funny.

  9. #509
    Oliphaunt Jizzelbin's avatar
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    I tried watch *Madetc world* -- just couldn't get into it. I should watch more than the first ten minutes.

    Now, *Towering Inferno* is the single worst movie I have ever seen. So much worse than *Plan 9* or *The Room*, because they had some real heavy actors who were wasted. Bill freaking Holden fagawdsake!

  10. #510
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    Really? The single worst movie you've ever seen? To each their own, but Liquid Sky was waaaaay worse IMHO: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Liquid_Sky. My all-time least favorite movie.

  11. #511
    Oliphaunt Rube E. Tewesday's avatar
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    Towering Inferno? Liquid Sky?

    I'm pretty sure you gentleman have never seen Butterfly, Author, Author or I, Frankenstein.

    And, if we are to add movies that weren't released theatrically, let me mention Riddler's Moon and Dracula 3000.

    I have wasted a good deal of my life.

  12. #512
    Oliphaunt Jizzelbin's avatar
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    I'm only saying -- all that cast just wasted. I don't count Z-movies with nobody in it (well, Night of the Lepus did have.....Tippi Hedren or someone incongruous, but it had some entertainment value), or cult midnight-movies.

    And I've seen *Crossroads* (with britney spears) and all three transformer movies.

    There probably is just some japanese cartoon anime that sucks (like, all of it, most likely) harder, but I don't watch those.

    *author, author* was a cute little movie -- saw it on tv as a kid and thought some of the lines in it were good ("What is she, a camper?!"

    i'm not a gentleman damned it! stop it!
    Last edited by Jizzelbin; 23 Feb 2015 at 04:42 PM.

  13. #513
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    OK, *Synechdoche, NY* ..... now i have to think. But that didn't have the ensemble cast -- it was just the worst A-movie in its decade.

    eta in common w *TI* there was not a single redeeming moment -- not even to laugh at ironically.
    Last edited by Jizzelbin; 23 Feb 2015 at 04:51 PM.

  14. #514
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    OK, I saw *TI* again last night, and maybe it isn't the WORST A-picture I've seen.

    It is definitely the worst movie any of: Steve McQueen, Bill Holden, Faye Dunaway, Paul Newman, Fred Astaire, or even Sterling Hayden have ever been in.

    I suppose it has a redeeming quality due to its place in history -- namely, to be a teaser for *Die Hard*.
    Last edited by Jizzelbin; 25 Feb 2015 at 06:26 PM.

  15. #515
    Oliphaunt Jizzelbin's avatar
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    And, anyway, here's a real rant -- why isn't anyone talking to me?

    Is it because I said "kike" in the "Bad Habits" thread? Jesus fucking christ! It should be obvious that antisemitism doesn't apply to me any more than homophobia or most other kinds of racism (except maybe that I despise Japanese culture -- but that's got nothing to do with the Japanese I've known and worked with -- anyway, Japanese imperialism has a lot to answer for, to the Chinese, the Koreans, all the allies, and all basic ortho-ethical values, including that of honesty).
    Last edited by Jizzelbin; 25 Feb 2015 at 08:38 PM.

  16. #516
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    Best to avoid all racial, religious and ethnic epithets, even in jest, in message board postings.

    And Sterling Hayden wasn't in The Towering Inferno.

  17. #517
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    Oh. I thought he was and I just didn't recognize him.

    Yes, of course I recognize that one avoids political humor in polite company. But my only barometer is, for example, my ex-wife fucking loved calling herself a red-sea pedestrian and so forth. And I would expect if anyone had a problem, they'd say, "chill the fuck out, Adolf!" -- I like to think I have interesting things to say, occasionally, and have earned the right to be called a Ahmajinedad-loving antisemite, if warranted.

    Anyway, this isn't exactly polite company, Hanoi Jane. The epithet "gentleman" notwithstanding.

  18. #518
    Oliphaunt Jizzelbin's avatar
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    That could be an interesting discussion, though. I don't know, personally, anyone in real life, who object to me calling them a diamond-merchant, a nigger, a redskin, a mick, a spic, a faggot or whatever.

    But that's for people I know, and in the right context. eta and by "right context" I don't necessarily mean one-on-one -- just an atmosphere where everyone is mixing with everyone and is used to all the terms and knows everyone else.
    Last edited by Jizzelbin; 25 Feb 2015 at 09:31 PM.

  19. #519
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    and FWIW *Synechdoche, NY* is the worst A-picture ever made. Charlie Kaufman should die -- he got the Malkovich one made, the one about the orchids. He's done.
    Last edited by Jizzelbin; 25 Feb 2015 at 09:29 PM.

  20. #520
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    Well, a cyclone visited my city about a week ago. Took a chunk of my roof and trashed the yard/entrance, so I've had 5 different bits of accommodation in 7 days. Been running on adrenaline, and now I'm just exhausted. Fucking cyclones >_<

  21. #521
    Oliphaunt Rube E. Tewesday's avatar
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    Jesus, spitz, floods, cyclones -- you are in a scary place.

    Wish you the best.

  22. #522
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    That sucks butt, spitz.

    I live under a lot of trees not in the best of shape (tall, spindly, old, red alders) and I often wonder what I would do if one crashed through my ceiling or a wall. Besides shit my pants, I'd honestly have no idea who to call or what to do.

    Apparently you're a little more "can-do." Save your music!

  23. #523
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    Why does somebody mark their voicemail "urgent", then in the actual message tell you it's not urgent?

    And I'm not going back to check, but I have a feeling I've complained about this before.

    My life is boring.

  24. #524
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    Why don't people use their inside voices when having a conversation? What the fuck? Is there something wrong with their hearing? Are they autistic? Are they stupid?

    On a GREAT rant: just found out that in my US state, a citizen can, provided he or she is able to identify the face of the driver of a vehicle to which it is registered, file a citizen's complaint of a traffic violation with the relevant court. The defendant will receive a summons.

    I won't bore you with the ORS815.225 and so forth, but honking your horn at a pedestrian, under the condition that the pedestrian is not in need of a warning, for example, under the condition that he or she is walking at an average speed, within the boundaries of a marked crosswalk with an electronic sentinel signaling device, i.e., "the walk sign," is a Class C traffic violation, with a presumptive fine of $160, a minimum fine of $80, and a maximum of $500. Of course, the issuer of the citation will have to appear in court, if the defendant chooses to oblige the court's legal demand, but that's the end of the story.

    You shit-fucking motherfucker's fucker puke. I'm mister safe walker, then as now, even removing headphones to remove appearance of impropriety, for several years. Now it's me, the same, taking a photograph of your license plate and your face, and heading to the police station.

    You son of a bitch puke. It would be much better if I could see you drive into a tree, your infant ejected from the vehicle and impaled on a tree stump, and a few broken legs for the perp, but the punishment should fit the crime. Lex talionis, or whatever, but I'm not fucking Hammurabi.

    And it's not my place to judge -- but it is absolutely my place to make you piece of shit pay for your miserable waste of human sperm that you are.

  25. #525
    Oliphaunt Rube E. Tewesday's avatar
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    That is, in fact, a great rant.

  26. #526
    Oliphaunt Jizzelbin's avatar
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    Well, that's what I said, isn't it?

    Here's a Mello-mini, summed up in a comic. Meh, I was in a great mood today, and then I was reminded that, yes, there are people like Frank in the world. Fortunately, I don't see any around me at the mo! Doesn't get more mellow than that. In fact, that's a little project for someone else to rant about.

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