Beginner alcohol for kids

[Feirefiz]

Never would I advocate underage drinking, but it has been known to happen.

Recently I walked past the liquor aisle in my supermarket and once again that reminded my that there are alcoholic drinks that few self-respecting adults would ever buy but that are staples at teenage parties.

What are the equivalents in your area?



Berentzen Apfelkorn (20%) and Saurer Apfel (16%) are two sweet apple-flavored liqueurs. You can choose between traditional sugary sweet and sour, but still damn sugary. It's hard to decide which version is more disgusting.



If you want something that looks like all grownup clear liquor, you might want to consider this this sweet fig-flavored vodka concoction.
The name Kleiner Feigling, literally little coward is a hilarious pun because Feige means both fig and cowardly.

Puschkin Red Sky (17.5%), another product from the Berentzen conglomerate. German vodka with a faux-Russian name, the hallmark of quality!
It's half vodka, half some dayglo red blood orange inspired liquid.

Once more Berentzen, the Standard Oil of German underage drinking.
This is Großmutters Schokogeheimnis (19%), Grandma's Chocolate Secret, also available in vanilla - think imitation Baileys.

[Cluricaun]

Boones Farm - fruit flavored apple wine that takes forever to get drunk on and makes you feel like you actually died the next day


Southern Comfort- Whiskey and peach schnappes blended together to make a sickly sweet whiskey. This will also kill you.


Something I'm sure you're familiar with, but in a different context: Jagermeister. Tastes like cough syrup and gets you really drunk. American do this stuff as shots and mixed with Red Bull for some reason.


Whatever Cheap Shitty Beer You Can Get, i.e. Busch Light, usually $8 a case of 24 in most college towns

[Rube E. Tewesday]

Don't know about now. When I was young there were various cheap, sweet wines on the market. "Baby Bear" comes to mind, for some reason.

There was also Alcool. Mix some of that with whatever crappy punch you had mixed up, and there was a party.

[jali]

I got very sick on this: as a young teen.

[Feirefiz]

Southern Comfort- Whiskey and peach schnappes blended together to make a sickly sweet whiskey. This will also kill you.

I had totally forgotten about that one. It wasn't really common but I used to know one guy who was really fond of it.

Something I'm sure you're familiar with, but in a different context: Jagermeister. Tastes like cough syrup and gets you really drunk. American do this stuff as shots and mixed with Red Bull for some reason.

That's a strange one. Traditionally it has always been, and still is, a drink that elderly borderline alcoholics buy in little flasks at their newsstand. Then for some reason it became a cult drink in the techno movement and the company went for that market pretty aggressively. That fad has died down for the most part, but it's still widely available.

[Cluricaun]

It's still going strong here - Jager sponsors heavy metal concerts and every single bar features one of these bad boys right in the middle of the back bar:
[IMG][/IMG]

An ice cold Jager dispenser. It's really done as a shot for people who can't do real shots of normal hard alcohol.

[OtakuLoki]

Let's not forget the various malt liquor beverages that are trainer beverages, such as:

Bartles & Jaymes wine "coolers"


Mike's Hard Lemonade (and other flavors)



There was also the now defunct Zima malt beverage



While not a malt liquor beverage, I must disagree with Cluricaun's vote for Busch Light for cheap college beer.

For that you need either Genny Cream Ale



Utica Club



or Rolling Rock.



(Of course, I believe at least one of those brands is defunct, now...)

[The Original An Gadaí]

Kids here drink:

Dutch Gold (not an exclusively underage drink but it is cheap so appeals to lower budgets)


Girls especially love:


Ritz, can't find a picture, a perry.

Also popular with the underage set:

[Feirefiz]

Alcopops mostly appeared after my time. They were extremely popular for a while because originally they could be bought at 16. Shortly afterwards the age limit was raised to 18 and they were taxed more heavily. Sales dropped significantly after that.
Only drinks containing distilled alcohol were covered by those measures. This has lead to an increase in beer-based mixed drinks.

(That reminds me: Last week I got a free sample of tuna fruit weizen at university which I haven't tried yet.)

[Cluricaun]

That reminds me: Last week I got a free sample of tuna fruit weizen at university which I haven't tried yet.

Please tell me this isn't what it sounds like, which is a citrusy wheat beer with chunks of watermelon and tuna floating in it.

[Feirefiz]

Please tell me this isn't what it sounds like, which is a citrusy wheat beer with chunks of watermelon and tuna floating in it.

Almost. No chunks and no watermelon, but it is half wheat beer, half "refreshing tuna fruit drink" containing tuna, lime and orange juice. Note how they go out of their way to describe it as a mix of two drinks, after all our beer purity law is sacred.



Tagline: Exotic-dry freshness

[The Original An Gadaí]

There's tuna in it? TUNA? I mean I like tuna, but there's TUNA in that drink????

[Cluricaun]

Maybe tuna means something else entirely in German. Maybe it means....um....anything except what it means to you and I.

[Cluricaun]

I've invented a new German party drink, called the "Barf".

[Feirefiz]

Sorry, I trusted my online dictionary on what a "Kaktusfeige" is. Now I see that the literal cactus fig would have been less ambiguous.

Not even brewers desperate for a new gimmick would go that far. Yet.

[Revs]

There's tuna in it? TUNA? I mean I like tuna, but there's TUNA in that drink????

If you liked that you're going to love this...




You know what sounds refreshing? A nice Bud with some tomato and clam juice. mmmmmmhhhhhhhhmm.

[Revs]

And another entry for the fruity wine category, Arbor Mist

[The Original An Gadaí]

Okay I can imagine tomato working with beer but clam? Have any of you tried that swill?

[Revs]

No I have not. I don't like clams or tomatoes so this drink will go untouched by me. Sometimes it's referred to as a "poor man's bloody mary".

[OtakuLoki]

Sorry, I trusted my online dictionary on what a "Kaktusfeige" is. Now I see that the literal cactus fig would have been less ambiguous.

Not even brewers desperate for a new gimmick would go that far. Yet.

Gawd I can't stop laughing. Thank Ghu it wasn't fish beer.

[Cluricaun]

Okay I can imagine tomato working with beer but clam? Have any of you tried that swill?

I sure have. My grandfather drank his pints of lager with a shot of tomato juice in them so the concept isn't toally alien to me - They're as disgusting as they look however. The tomato/clam stuff does a magical job of retaining lots of metallic can taste and then the excellent sour grain note of the beer comes through. I can only surmise that this product was introduced to market because Budweiser hates Mexicans and wanted to give them a filthy nasty can of shit to drink.

[Taumpy]

This was popular among my friends in college:

[Hatshepsut]

If you want something that looks like all grownup clear liquor, you might want to consider this this sweet fig-flavored vodka concoction.
The name Kleiner Feigling, literally little coward is a hilarious pun because Feige means both fig and cowardly.

I first saw this photo out of context, when you referenced it in another thread where I asked about Imageshack.

I thought it was a douche called (in German) "Cleaner Feeling."

[Feirefiz]

Interesting timing:

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/...d.php?t=538404

[Exy]

Sorry, I trusted my online dictionary on what a "Kaktusfeige" is. Now I see that the literal cactus fig would have been less ambiguous.

Not even brewers desperate for a new gimmick would go that far. Yet.

I knew it had to be something like that. I knew it couldn't be what you were actually saying.

I'm trying hard to suppress my giggling here at work.

[Sarahfeena]

There's always jello shots...they slide right down, you don't have to even taste them.

[Queen Tonya]

And jello shots made with the Pucker branded schnapps are exactly what I make to break the kids into drinking. Perfect for the older teen neiphlings at a family party, for instance, so they feel like they're getting something all wicked, but fruity, sweet and low in alcohol so no one actually gets sick or anything.

[RabbitMage]

What is it with kids these days? The first time I got drunk was on shots of vodka. Straight vodka. Drink right or go home, you babbies.

My first actual drink was a Mudslide though. When I was 14 or 15.

[Exy]

And jello shots made with the Pucker branded schnapps are exactly what I make to break the kids into drinking. Perfect for the older teen neiphlings at a family party, for instance, so they feel like they're getting something all wicked, but fruity, sweet and low in alcohol so no one actually gets sick or anything.

Wait, during holiday parties you take it upon yourself to liquor up your underage nieces and nephews? 'Cause I gotta say, that's pretty awesome.

[Queen Tonya]

Pretty much. That's why I use schnapps for the mixed aged parties and hard liquor when it's just grown-ups.

But I get excellent cover when needed by feigning total shock that the kids got into the jello shots. Of course I made them for the adults, who thought the kids would snatch them up?

Granted, I used to make "kid" versions using fruit juice or soda to get them into the spirit of things when they were elementary school aged. I dunno how anyone didn't see this coming.

[Capybara]

In Belgium they had low-alcohol beer for the kiddies. I think I went from sips of my dad's Rainier as a wee tyle to a sudden shot of Bacardi at 15 which was a surprising moment in the life of my upper throat.
The tuna thing and TFR's item sound akin to the Caesar-- Canadian version of a Bloody Mary made with Clamato, which is pretty damn tasty.