Funerals: A question?

[The Original An Gadaí]

Where I live funerals and wakes are a big deal as I'm sure they are everywhere. The most recent funeral I was at made me realise that a huge amount of people not directly related to the deceased usually attend the funeral. They all generally have to tell their boss in work (if the work that is) that they are going to their "friend's uncle's fiancé's second cousin's funeral" and then they get a half or full day off work. It seems like a staggering amount of work hours are lost because of this. In other countries is this also the case? Do people routinely take time off work to attend funerals in say the US or Australia or Germany or elsewhere?

[Revs]

I take days off for funerals if it was someone close to me. Most of the ones I've been to were for friends. Within the my circle of friends, the ceremony is considered a somber affair and was are there more out of support for the family. Afterward though it usually turns into a drowning of sorrows complete with stories of the recently deceased,some singing and usually someone will start bawling for a while.

[Sarahfeena]

I think it's different in different cultures. In my circle of mostly-Catholic Chicagoans, it's more typical for a lot of people to attend the wake, and only close friends and family to attend the funeral. This caused me to commit a bit of a faux-pas once, though, when I went to the Shiva for a Jewish friend's dad, and skipped the funeral. Come to find out EVERYONE was at the funeral, and some people were wondering where I was. :

[Cluricaun]

Usually the wake is enough, plus that's where the booze is, so I go after work and tell everyone I can't make the funeral if at all possible. That comes with the added bonus of not having to be called upon to be a pall bearer which seems to happen at least 50% of the time and I hate doing it. Carry your own corpse, I've got other things I'd rather be doing.

But that being said I hate the whole process pretty much. I won't look at dead bodies because I think the makeup and lighting and such is fucking creepy, I don't want to look at a hastily assembed cork board full of pictures of the dead person while they were alive, and I mostly hate the aimless milling around that everyone seems to do for hours on end until they decide you can go home. Maybe I'm just a callous bastard, but I've told everyone I know, and now I'm telling you, if I have a funeral when I die I will come right back from hell and be very pissed off about it. Cut me up and use me in voodoo ceremonies, give me to some kids in the neighborhood with some cool ideas on what to do with a dead body, hell, use me for ballistic tests to improve armor for soldiers. Anything but a standard goddamned funeral.

ETA - I try to skip out on as much of the whole thing as I can. If I can just not go that's always preferable.

[Taumpy]

I'll echo the idea that if you aren't close to the deceased you can attend the wake and skip the funeral. I believe this is just the company I work for, but I don't expect to get any time off work for either, though, unless it's a close friend or family member. I've had co-workers get harassed by management for trying to take time off for in-laws funerals.

[Jaglavak]

I only go to funerals of family and close friends. Unfortunately it's been a rough couple of years for that. These are folks who meant more to me than any job. So I don't ask the boss for time off. I just tell him where I'll be. If he has a problem with it, hey I've been unemployed before. Some things matter more than money.

And yes, I sit through the whole tedious ceremony. It's a gesture of respect. And besides, most of the folks at these things are either relatives or close friends themselves. People I would want to hang out with even in hell.

[Fink-Nottle]

I'll echo the idea that if you aren't close to the deceased you can attend the wake and skip the funeral. I believe this is just the company I work for, but I don't expect to get any time off work for either, though, unless it's a close friend or family member. I've had co-workers get harassed by management for trying to take time off for in-laws funerals.

That's kind of shitty about your company harassing people going to in-law's funerals. If my mom or dad or sister or brother died, I would damn sure want my husband there at the funeral for support and comfort. That just seems common sense.

[Taumpy]

It is common sense, but unfortunately that's what happens when they decide to cut costs by understaffing their stores to the point where they can't afford to have anyone take any time off.

[The Original An Gadaí]

A supplimentary question. This might only be for Roman Catholics I'm not really sure but is the Month's Mind common elsewhere?
This is a mass celebrated in remembrance usually about a month after a person has passed away.

[Angua]

Not a Catholic, An Gadai, but we do a similar thing in my branch of Islam, 10 and 40 days after the funeral, then at 3 months, 6 months and 1 year. And then we hold yearly memorial services.

[Cluricaun]

A supplimentary question. This might only be for Roman Catholics I'm not really sure but is the Month's Mind common elsewhere?
This is a mass celebrated in remembrance usually about a month after a person has passed away.

It's possible, but what I'm familiar with as someone raised RC is that you request a mass for the person, which usually amounts to having their name mentioned (i.e. Bob Smith, father of Jim Smith) during the "Lord hear our prayer" portion of the mass where everyone says it together. You just dip to the parish offices before mass and have what you want written in the notes. There's usually a list of people and things that people have requested, so your dead person only gets a two second mention. It may or may not cost money depending on the current projects going on at that particular parish.

[ivan astikov]

I only wish I had some Tibetan associates... I've always wanted to see a corpse being stripped by wild birds.

[jali]

I'll make it known right here...right now.

I don't want a funeral at all. Let the kids improve their homes with the money. No flowers - I'd like people to loan money through kiva.com if they need to do the "memorial" thing - I won't know since I'll be dead.

I want cremation.
Whoever I'm dating at the time will be welcome to jump on to the funeral pyre to join me in crispiness, then ash.

[hatesfreedom]

It is common sense, but unfortunately that's what happens when they decide to cut costs by understaffing their stores to the point where they can't afford to have anyone take any time off.

My company is the same way. If it's a family member you can go, we've got your back. Take up to 3 days I believe. If you aren't related you can go once you get approval, but you'll have to take it out of vacation time. If you have no vacation time or your presence is a priority than welcome to the suck son. That's life. Some people die, get back to work.

I don't really fault them at all for this policy. Normally though we understand and let the employee go do whatever. We had one employee though that went to her husbands mothers funeral and stayed away for a week. Which is why we tightened up the policy.

[parzival]

I only wish I had some Tibetan associates... I've always wanted to see a corpse being stripped by wild birds.

Do Tibetans do that too? I thought that was the Parsis.

I attended a funeral in Sikkim (a small state of India) and there were hundreds of people in attendance. According to the people I was with, this was fairly normal for funerals - anyone attends whether they knew the person well or not. They even said there wasn't even any sort of announcement, so the people who'd traveled there were only those who heard by word-of-mouth. Additionally, at the burial, everyone would pass by and could throw a handful of dirt in the grave themselves. It seemed a pretty public affair.