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Thread: Nothing sucks the "convenience"...

  1. #1
    my god, he's full of stars... OneCentStamp's avatar
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    Default Nothing sucks the "convenience"...

    ...out of "convenience store" quite like the guy in front of you buying fifteen lottery tickets and five money orders. Not only does this nimrod buy fifteen scratch-offs - which he painstakingly selects one by one - but he starts scratching them off right there, without moving, oblivious to the five people behind him in line. And no help from the cashier; *I* had to say "Excuse me, please" in order to get him to grunt and move five feet down the counter.

    Also, who the hell eats chicken wings at 7:30 in the morning?

    Lame rant, I know. And really, it happened yesterday. But still.

  2. #2
    Free Exy Cluricaun's avatar
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    First off, I eat chicken wings at 7:30 in the morning but as a before crashing snack, not as a breakfast. Secondly lots of the quick mart type places around here have signs that state that lottery must be played off site to try and keep a lid on that kind of thing. I have no problem barging up and banging my Red Bull down and just saying "Pack of Red Box?" to, ah, motiviate the transaction if needed though. Sometimes you have to make you own conveniance, you know?
    Hell, if I didn't do things just because they made me feel a bit ridiculous, I wouldn't have much of a social life. - Santo Rugger.

  3. #3
    Elen síla lumenn' omentielvo What Exit?'s avatar
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    I hate those idiots too. One thing I like about the WaWa chain is that they have no lottery tickets. They are fast and always clean.

    Yesterday I got my order for lunch, walked next store to the tobacco shop where my friend was getting 3 lottery tickets and found he was stuck behind the idiot that was getting 25-30 tickets spread across 8 different game types. This moron was also slow to move out of the way as he was scratching the scratch offs.

    As to chicken wings, I use to enjoy a piece of cold chicken in the morning as a quick breakfast. Not quite the same, but I could see the chicken wings as somewhat reasonable.

  4. #4
    my god, he's full of stars... OneCentStamp's avatar
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    Fine guys, defend the morning chicken eater. :Shake: :wink


    No, I probably wouldn't have even noticed his chicken if he'd been in and gone, but when I was already getting annoyed with him, everything becomes fair game, from his chicken wings, to his Newports, to his Arizona Mango Punch. Bastard.

  5. #5
    Elen síla lumenn' omentielvo What Exit?'s avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by OneCentStamp View post
    Fine guys, defend the morning chicken eater. :Shake: :wink


    No, I probably wouldn't have even noticed his chicken if he'd been in and gone, but when I was already getting annoyed with him, everything becomes fair game, from his chicken wings, to his Newports, to his Arizona Mango Punch. Bastard.
    Well, you did not say what type of wings. If they were hot wings, I would agree with the insane part. The Arizona Mango Punch is clearly abnormal for anyone over the age of 18 and from what little I can recall of my limited smoking days, Newports sucked.

    Is that better?

  6. #6
    Free Exy Cluricaun's avatar
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    I don’t even scratch off lotto tickets when I buy them anymore (yes, sometimes I throw a buck at the lotto, big deal). They have those scanner machines that tell you if you win or not and I just scan the ticket as soon as I buy it. If it wins I scratch it, if it doesn’t I toss it on the ground outside to give someone a little, if impotent thrill. I like the 5 second lotto.
    Hell, if I didn't do things just because they made me feel a bit ridiculous, I wouldn't have much of a social life. - Santo Rugger.

  7. #7
    The Queen Zuul's avatar
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    I have a bizarre aversion to those lottery scratch-offs. They fill me with revulsion.

    Where I grew up in Nevada, we didn't have those. What we did have, however, was slot machines. Lots of convenience stores had slot machines, in fact. But no sane, upstanding person who had self-control and a healthy sense of shame would ever be caught dead using one in a convenience store. No, you'd see tourists who didn't realize how pathetic they looked and the little old lady gambling addicts and various clueless types.

    So when I moved to Wisconsin and was suddenly presented with these scratch-off tickets all over the place, they took over the space in my mind reserved for nickel slot machines in gas stations. Dude, you're gambling at the Kum & Go.

    I know it's uncharitable of me, but I can't help it. To me, all gambling should involve a martini and a cigar.


  8. #8
    Oliphaunt
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    Quote Originally posted by Zuul View post
    Dude, you're gambling at the Kum & Go.
    Why on earth would you give your convenience store franchise a name that is evocative of a low-rent, drive-through hooker emporium?
    Last edited by Orual; 18 Sep 2009 at 01:30 PM.

  9. #9
    Jesus F'ing Christ Glazer's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Orual View post
    Why on earth would you give your convenience store franchise a name that is evocative of a low-rent, drive-through hooker emporium?
    So that Cluricaun will feel welcome at oh dark thirty. When he needs to stock up on Red Bull, Cigarettes and chicken wings.
    Welcome to Mellophant.

    We started with nothing and we still have most of it left.

  10. #10
    Free Exy Cluricaun's avatar
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    Damned skippy.
    Hell, if I didn't do things just because they made me feel a bit ridiculous, I wouldn't have much of a social life. - Santo Rugger.

  11. #11
    Curmudgeon OtakuLoki's avatar
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    Just for all your morning hot wing haters - I just woke up about 60 minutes ago, and am making hot wings for breakfast.

    Yummy yummy hot wings

  12. #12
    Free Exy Cluricaun's avatar
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    You go Loki. I'm going to go downstairs right now and make fetal wings, or as most would call them scrambled eggs with wing sauce.
    Hell, if I didn't do things just because they made me feel a bit ridiculous, I wouldn't have much of a social life. - Santo Rugger.

  13. #13
    Prehistoric Bitchslapper Sarahfeena's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Cluricaun View post
    You go Loki. I'm going to go downstairs right now and make fetal wings, or as most would call them scrambled eggs with wing sauce.
    You are a strange and delightful man.

  14. #14
    Free Exy Cluricaun's avatar
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    Well I am now......
    Hell, if I didn't do things just because they made me feel a bit ridiculous, I wouldn't have much of a social life. - Santo Rugger.

  15. #15
    No Ordinary Rabbit Count Blucher's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Zuul View post
    Dude, you're gambling at the Kum & Go.

    I know it's uncharitable of me, but I can't help it. To me, all gambling should involve a martini and a cigar.
    Sometimes its gambling on a premium quality condom, but there can still be a martini and a cigar.

  16. #16
    A Football of Fate Jeff's avatar
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    They do money orders at kwik-e-marts?

  17. #17
    Curmudgeon OtakuLoki's avatar
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    Yes, for a fee. I've seen fees for that service both higher and lower than the Post Office's money orders.

  18. #18
    Stegodon Jaglavak's avatar
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    Next time, just lean over his shoulder and loudly wish him good luck. Apparently this is considered to be bad luck by many of the bobo's who gush huge bucks on these things.

  19. #19
    For whom nothing is written. Oliveloaf's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by OneCentStamp View post
    ...out of "convenience store" quite like the guy in front of you buying fifteen lottery tickets and five money orders. Not only does this nimrod buy fifteen scratch-offs - which he painstakingly selects one by one - but he starts scratching them off right there, without moving, oblivious to the five people behind him in line. And no help from the cashier; *I* had to say "Excuse me, please" in order to get him to grunt and move five feet down the counter.

    Also, who the hell eats chicken wings at 7:30 in the morning?

    Lame rant, I know. And really, it happened yesterday. But still.
    Guys like this never move aside, either. You have to reach past these counter hogs to get your business done.

    A close relative of this guy is the fussy woman who cannot pour a God-damned fountain drink without getting exactly 9 ice cubes in the cup. Then there's the freaking multiple taps of the dispenser to make sure she gets every freaking quarter once of soda she's due.

    And God help you if the napkins and salt packets are around the fountain...:Shake:
    "I won't kill for money, and I won't marry for it. Other than that, I'm open to just about anything."

    -Jim Rockford

  20. #20
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    Quote Originally posted by Oliveloaf View post
    the fussy woman . . . fountain drink
    I swear, I've only ever seen women do that, too. They also have to get their carefully calibrated mix of 9 parts diet coke, 1 part regular coke, because that teaspoon of real coke you added totally made it taste exactly the same.

  21. #21
    Elen síla lumenn' omentielvo What Exit?'s avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Exy View post
    I swear, I've only ever seen women do that, too. They also have to get their carefully calibrated mix of 9 parts diet coke, 1 part regular coke, because that teaspoon of real coke you added totally made it taste exactly the same.
    I think that is called sympathetic magic or maybe just pathetic, I forget.

  22. #22
    Living la vida broke-a Revs's avatar
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    Former clerk Here.

    Lottery/scratch off players are the bottom rung of the convenience store customer ladder. The worst are the ones playing on a "system". The type that asks what number the ticket is on, how many winners have been cashed in, when was the last time someone bought one, what color was the car of the person who last bought a ticket, so on and so forth.

    I don't know! No clerk actually knows! Wanna know why? Because we aren't dealers at the casino. The store gets the tickets in a package. All the winners are distributed throughout the deck. The tickets get sold. The clerk does not control who gets winners and who gets losers.

    The worst though is when someone would come in to buy lotto, spend 10 minutes picking out scratch-offs, then spend another 10 getting the printed big game tickets. And then pulling out the debit card to pay. Um.. Hey shitfucker, you know that you can only pay cash for this stuff. You have known that since those laws were passed(at least in the last state I had worked as a counter jockey), so don't act surprised when I say no!

  23. #23
    Prehistoric Bitchslapper Sarahfeena's avatar
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    There are at least 2 former convenience store clerks here...you guys should totally start an "Ask the Former Convenience Store Clerk" thread. I'll bet there are some great stories to tell!

  24. #24
    Elen síla lumenn' omentielvo What Exit?'s avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Sarahfeena View post
    There are at least 2 former convenience store clerks here...you guys should totally start an "Ask the Former Convenience Store Clerk" thread. I'll bet there are some great stories to tell!
    But they were not even suppose to be here today.



  25. #25
    Living la vida broke-a Revs's avatar
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    I just tried to start a "Ask The Clerk" thread but it keeps telling me I don't have permission to access the page.

  26. #26
    Prehistoric Bitchslapper Sarahfeena's avatar
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    I think What Exit is restricting the threads in the "Ask the Experts" forum. Try starting it in The Lounge...you should have no problem there.

  27. #27
    Living la vida broke-a Revs's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by What Exit? View post
    I think that is called sympathetic magic or maybe just pathetic, I forget.
    There is a difference?

  29. #29
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    Quote Originally posted by The Falling Reverend View post
    Former clerk Here.

    Lottery/scratch off players are the bottom rung of the convenience store customer ladder. The worst are the ones playing on a "system". The type that asks what number the ticket is on, how many winners have been cashed in, when was the last time someone bought one, what color was the car of the person who last bought a ticket, so on and so forth.
    Yeah...WTF is the difference between #2 at $2 and #38 at $2?

    gambler: Shit, you changed the cards on me.
    cashier: <fake laugh> We do that to confuse you.
    me: It makes no difference as long as the price is the same, move on retard.

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