How do you bathe a cat?

[Zuul]

My niece's two cats are allowed to go outside and, lo and behold, they have brought fleas into my house. Now my cat has them as well. I'm going to give the house a thorough cleaning, but the cats have to be de-fleaed as well.

So.

I've got some flea shampoo for cats. I'm rather reluctant to just dive into this. Aside from wrapping myself in leather armor, what else can I do?

[ivan astikov]

Carefully, preferably with thick gloves.

Or just wipe it down with a wet flannel. It's the kindest thing to do.

[Myrnalene]

Wow. How big / docile is your cat? When I had to I could just barely manage to bathe my big fat timid guy but then I have a tiny bathroom and it was easy to block him in the shower. I filled a giant tub of water that I used to wash / rinse because running the water in there would freak him out more. Then I held him firmly and poured the water on him (but not over his head) and then soaped him one-handed, talking to him the whole time. Then I kept rinsing till all that stuff was out, then dried him as best I could with a towel I had there. He hated it. I never would have been able to bathe my skittish girl cat.

[Zuul]

Luckily, it turns out my cat doesn't actually give a shit about water for the most part. My niece may have a different experience with her cats.

I went with ivan's suggestion of using a wet cloth. She seemed to think she was getting some primo petting time at first, and gave me the patented cat "you're a fucking retard" look when I rubbed in the shampoo. To rinse it, I had to pour a pitcher of water over her body, though. There was just no way to get it all out otherwise. That was when she tried to get away and made the most pathetic little meow that made me feel like an asshole.

But, then she got brushed and given treats and seems to have largely forgiven me.

[Sleeps w/Butterflies]

I'm glad you survived!!! My kitteh did not admire water, so I always took her in to a groomer when it was needed.

You are brave.

[Count Blucher]

Thick gloves, pick up / wrap kitty in a towel, have a second person close the bathroom door (until it clicks) behind you once you are both inside. Then start the rodeo clock....

I've had to do this a few times in my life. They will forgive you.

[Zuul]

Thanks for the reassurance, Count. She's still giving me those sulky "I hate you" looks. It's good to know it won't last!

...and judging by the thumps I'm hearing from the bathroom it isn't going nearly so smoothly for my niece. I'm glad her boyfriend volunteered to help her.

[OtakuLoki]

Since the serious replies have all been given, I figure I can now post one of my favorite bits of humor:

How to Bathe the Cat:

1. Thoroughly clean the toilet.
2. Add the required amount of shampoo to the toilet water and have both lids lifted.
3. Obtain the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.
4. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids (you may need to stand on the lid so that he cannot escape). CAUTION: Do not get any part of your body too close to the edge, as his paws will be reaching out for anything they can find. The cat will self-agitate and make ample suds. Never mind the noises that come from your toilet, the cat is actually enjoying this.
5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a "power wash and rinse" which I found to be quite effective.
6. Have someone open the door to the outside and ensure that there are no people between the toilet and the outside door.
7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can and quickly lift both lids.
8. The now-clean cat will rocket out of the toilet and run outside where he will dry himself.

-The Dog

[ivan astikov]

...and judging by the thumps I'm hearing from the bathroom it isn't going nearly so smoothly for my niece. I'm glad her boyfriend volunteered to help her.

What a pair of opportunists! Go up there and tell them they didn't both need to get in the bath.

[Zuul]

Since the serious replies have all been given, I figure I can now post one of my favorite bits of humor:

How to Bathe the Cat:

1. Thoroughly clean the toilet.
2. Add the required amount of shampoo to the toilet water and have both lids lifted.
3. Obtain the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.
4. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids (you may need to stand on the lid so that he cannot escape). CAUTION: Do not get any part of your body too close to the edge, as his paws will be reaching out for anything they can find. The cat will self-agitate and make ample suds. Never mind the noises that come from your toilet, the cat is actually enjoying this.
5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a "power wash and rinse" which I found to be quite effective.
6. Have someone open the door to the outside and ensure that there are no people between the toilet and the outside door.
7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can and quickly lift both lids.
8. The now-clean cat will rocket out of the toilet and run outside where he will dry himself.

-The Dog

I'll remember this for next time.

[Ergo All Cats Are Tables]

Vacuum with anti-flea junk. Now go to the vet and get a box of Program or Advantage or Frontline, and give your cats a dose. Do it again next month.

[What Exit?]

Very Carefully.

We are lucky enough to have a deep sink. But last time I had to bath our older cat, she still clawed me good and bit my thumb very hard. It really helps to get the cats use to occasional baths as kittens. Dot has already had one.

[Zuul]

Very Carefully.

We are lucky enough to have a deep sink. But last time I had to bath our older cat, she still clawed me good and bit my thumb very hard. It really helps to get the cats use to occasional baths as kittens. Dot has already had one.

Please tell me you took pictures of Dot in the bath!

[What Exit?]

Please tell me you took pictures of Dot in the bath!

No, I'm sorry.

[Tuckerfan]

Something you might want to consider using to help with the flea problem is Dr Bronner's Peppermint Soap. Fleas, for some reason, cannot tolerate peppermint, they react to it like you or I would a hot poker and proceed to flee (no pun intended) the moment they encounter the stuff. Using Bronner's soap is an excellent adjunct to anything else you do to rid yourself of the fleas. (You could probably get away with using peppermint extract, but the soap in Bronner's will also help remove the protective oil coating that fleas have, allowing the water to penetrate their tiny little bodies and drown the fuckers when you wash things with the soap. )

[Glazer]

With a fire hose.

[Jaglavak]

Well, I can definitely tell you how not to do it.

Do not under any circumstances attempt to conserve water by just dragging the cat into the shower with you.

Looked like a bad version of Texas Catspaw Massacre in there. Bloody paw prints up to the ceiling.

Bonus; both kid bro and cat were so mad at my laughing fit, they didn't talk to me for a week.

[artifex]

Honestly? Don't bother. (And I speak from the perspective of a cat owner in Houston, where fleas are a huge problem, presumably in part because it just never gets that cold in here.)

I've bathed cats in various and sundry preparations intended or purported to reduce fleas, and mostly what I got was a series of lacerations. Fleas survive baths. Oh yes. They may be temporarily stunned or comatose or whatever happens to fleas, but they will not be gone.

Just get some Frontline or Advantage. They're expensive products, but they actually work, unlike most of the less expensive products, and they're easy to apply. By the time you add up the shampoos and the carpet sprays and all that you try first because they're cheaper, the good stuff isn't THAT pricey, especially for the ease and peace of mind. And you don't really need the carpet spray and flea bombs with Frontline or Advantage, because the cat becomes a walking flea killer. I've spent five years fighting the ^%&%*! fleas in Houston and this is what I have concluded to be the best option.

[Ashman165]

Most of the cats I've had I've had since they were born and I've played with them around and in water so they're usually reasonably accepting of it. My current cat, who was a hand-me-down routinely hops in the shower to play. I've had her since she was about three or four months old (or thereabouts), and used to play with her with a squirt gun.

But it doesn't sound like you have that kind of time. I use Advantage on my cats and haven't had a flea to speak of.

[Inner Stickler]

Yeah, my parents' cat has never been bathed. They just frontline her everytime she goes to the vet.

[SilverTygerGirl]

If you're like my cousin, you take him into the shower with you. The cat smells like Suave shampoo.

(She started when they first got Gato - yes that's his name - and apparently he doesn't mind.)

[Jaglavak]

If you're like my cousin, you take him into the shower with you.

Don't do it! It'll be yore life and yore soul!! And maybe a sudden vasectomy.

Anyone ignoring this advice is required to post aftermath pictures.

[Shodan]

[Steve Martin]
I gave my cat a bath the other day. Only problem is that the fur sticks to your tongue.
[/Steve Martin]

Regards,
Shodan