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Thread: Revenge of the Mini-Rants

  1. #1
    The Queen Zuul's avatar
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    Default Revenge of the Mini-Rants

    Let them be here. Let them rage.

    My pettiness:

    So I'm keeping an eye on my little brother Joe--sixteen years old--while my mother is out of the state. He starts college tomorrow, bless his brilliant little heart. I'm going to be taking him to his classes, as the college is about 25 miles away and he doesn't have a car. I had also, out of the kindness of my heart, offered to give a ride to my similarly transportation challenged eighteen year old niece and her boyfriend, a grown ass man of 25.

    This afternoon my niece asked me when I was taking my brother tomorrow. I said his first class was at nine in the morning, so I figured we'd leave at around eight to give everybody a chance to find their classes and not panic. She asked if I was going to come home after dropping him off. Seeing as how he'd be there until 2:30 I said, "Duh."

    "Our first class doesn't start until noon," my niece says. "Could you drop Joe off, come back, take us down at noon, and then just hang around until 2:30? You'll be using the same amount of gas."

    "Uh, yeah, it'd be the same amount of gas, but then I'd be sitting at a college for three hours with nothing to do," I countered.

    She tried to convince me I could keep myself entertained on campus. I explained that my entertainment wasn't the issue, being able to work was. I pointed out that she and her boyfriend could sit around on campus for three hours waiting for their class and would have far, far more to do there than I would.

    This led to huffing and stomping and declarations that I'm being unfair.
    So now they are just dirt-covered English people in fur pelts with credit cards.

  2. #2
    Prehistoric Bitchslapper Sarahfeena's avatar
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    Default Re: Revenge of the Mini-Rants

    Nice! I know it's the first day and all, but couldn't they use the time to do some reading for their classes or something?!

  3. #3
    The Queen Zuul's avatar
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    Default Re: Revenge of the Mini-Rants

    Or, if they didn't want to do anything productive at all, they could hang out at the student center or play on computers or something. It's college, for crying out loud! Go meet people!
    So now they are just dirt-covered English people in fur pelts with credit cards.

  4. #4
    Prehistoric Bitchslapper Sarahfeena's avatar
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    Default Re: Revenge of the Mini-Rants

    Well, exactly. It's BS anyway...they just don't want to get up early.

  5. #5
    Curmudgeon OtakuLoki's avatar
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    Default Re: Revenge of the Mini-Rants


  6. #6
    The Queen Zuul's avatar
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    Default Re: Revenge of the Mini-Rants

    Quote Originally posted by OtakuLoki
    I'm playing this loudly as a wake up call for my niece. Thanks!
    So now they are just dirt-covered English people in fur pelts with credit cards.

  7. #7
    Prehistoric Bitchslapper Sarahfeena's avatar
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    Default Re: Revenge of the Mini-Rants

    Zuul, seriously, you are not being petty at all. Grown people should be appreciative when someone does them a favor.

    My mini-rant: Children's birthday parties. My daughter is in kindergarten now, and I'm already afraid of the Battle to have the Coolest Birthday Party. She's already been invited to a party, and it's at some "funzone" place or other, pizza, cake, the whole deal...they whole class invited. Now, sure, it's really nice and all, and the kids will love it. But whatever happened to party in the backyard, invite the same # of kids as your age? I want to give the mom the benefit of the doubt, the kid hasn't had a chance to make particular friends yet, so invite everyone! But all I can think of is that now every other mom is going to want to do the same kind of thing. I'm not really interested in my daughter going to, like, 15 birthday parties this year, or throwing that kind of party myself! And if this is what it's like for kindergarteners, what is it going to be like in a few years?!

  8. #8
    Curmudgeon OtakuLoki's avatar
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    Default Re: Revenge of the Mini-Rants

    Sarah, this is what will be happening in a few years:
    Moshe was a bragger and loved to out-do his friends whenever he could and now it was coming up to the time of his son Isaac’s bar mitzvah. He gave it a lot of thought and then, after studying many brochures and maps, he hit upon a perfect, unique way to celebrate – a safari.
    So Moshe went ahead with the detailed arrangements. He started off by hiring a special flight to Africa to accommodate all the invited family and friends. Then he chose a guide and his bearers. He phoned the guide long distance and told him what he wanted.
    “I want my entourage to be able to hear jungle chants; I want to be able to shoot some wild animals, on film of course; I need a clearing to be found where my Rabbi can hold the service; and I want my son to be able to recite his prayers in Hebrew whilst standing on the body of an anaesthetised lion.”
    “OK,” said the guide, “no problem.”
    The guests were ecstatic when they received details of the weekend and all accepted their invite. Come the day of departure, they were all flown to Africa. On arrival, the guide and bearers were waiting for them, together with 30 elephants. Off they went with the guide leading the way and directing the elephants along the narrow trails through the rain forest. But then, just 5hours into the journey, the column of elephants came to a sudden halt and the guide shouted, “There will now be a delay of 2 hours.”
    Moshe was angry at this. “Why the delay?” he asked his guide.
    “There’s nothing I can do,” said the guide, “there’s another two bar mitzvah safaris ahead of us.”


    For my own gripe. I just got done, this weekend, moving my father's stuff out of his assisted living apartment. Between his condition and his absolute, unwavering, pig-headed refusal to push himself with any kind of exercise he's gotten to the point where he cannot live on his own. He's now at a long term care facility, and unless he works more than he has been, likely to stay there. He's also still without a replacement shunt for the one that was taken out when he had meningitis. He has convinced himself that when the shunt is replaced his muscles are magically going to return to strength.


    I was muttering, on my way out of the facility, "Cluebats are elder abuse. Cluebats are elder abuse. Cluebats are elder abuse." For the sake of anyone with tender stomachs we won't touch on what the invisible monkey was doing....

  9. #9
    Prehistoric Bitchslapper Sarahfeena's avatar
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    Default Re: Revenge of the Mini-Rants

    Oh, god, OtakuLoki. You are striking fear in my heart. (Funny joke, though, I laffed!)

    Your situation sucks. The worst thing ever is when a parent won't take care of him or herself they way they need to. I'm sorry.

  10. #10
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    I'm almost tempted, in response to Zenster's comment, to start up that SDMB litany of invented psychiatric diagnoses. To say something like, "Well what if he lives in mortal terror of flying, and the only reason he got on a plane this one time is that his dear grandmother is about to die, and it's vital that he be at her side so he simply can't go on a train like he usually does. So instead he has to dope himself up with scopolamine and use eyeshades and earphones to pretend he's in his happy place at the bottom of the ocean." I'm tempted, but I'm not going to do that.

    Instead I just suggest that, rather than die of a deep venous thrombosis, that you try tapping on his shoulder and asking him to move.

    Okay, so in order to contribute something rantifical to this mini-rants thread. Hello, republican Senators? Yeah, the pubbies control Michigan's senate. You don't control the fucking house, or the governor's chair. You are NOT going to fucking win any of the political fights, because the governor and the house speaker are Dems. STOP IT. JUST FUCKING STOP IT YOU WORTHLESS SACKS OF CRAP. There is NO FUCKING VALUE in adamantly refusing to compromise in the Senate, because even in the crazy alternate reality in which the House knuckles under and meets your tardific demands, which they haven't in previous years and won't now, the governor won't fucking sign whatever you pass. Try being cooperative for once in your miserable lives, you fuckers. You know you're not going to retain control after 2010 so how about trying to build some bridges in the intervening, rather than working your asses off to make this state worse?

  11. #11
    אני אוהב יהודים!
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    A friend of mine renewed her wedding vows last weekend and I was a bridesmaid. We've known each other since we were THREE YEARS OLD!

    The RAEG! part is that I took a ton of pictures at the reception and then LOST MY CAMERA. RAEG! Now I only have the pics other people took.

  12. #12
    The Apostabulous Inner Stickler's avatar
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    I'll be honest, I'm a little confused about what exactly was bothering zenster. I'm sure it will all be explained though.

    What I am mad about is the fact that my rechargeable batteries are deader than Jacob Marley. I should use my camera more than once in a blue moon, I guess.
    I don't think so, therefore I'm probably not.

  13. #13
    Elen síla lumenn' omentielvo What Exit?'s avatar
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    Screw K'Sears. I have been a loyal customer all my life. I have a Radial Arm Saw as old as me. When I needed a part and a manual they had it. Need a belt for my band saw they had it in stock at the repair center. Broken hand tool? Is it Craftman? They replace it without question. Prices are usually good and quality is usually solid.

    Well I have a large lawn tractor and the belt broke Saturday. I head for the repair center Sunday early. They no longer stock the belts and it is $60 and another $13 for shipping and the worst part, it will take a week. This is bullshit, stupid ruinous BS and leaves me no reason to remain a loyal customer.

    I am out a boatload of money for a stupid belt but worse yet cannot get my lawn mowed and it is already tall with all the rain we keep getting.

    So Fuck Sears. Another loyal customer gone due to the new owners (yes the ones that run K'Mart) being jackasses.

  14. #14
    Member D. Fenestrator's avatar
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    Okay, Chatty Co-Worker, I appreciate the fact that you have OPINIONS and an AGENDA and are going to EXERCISE YOUR RIGHTS. Just leave me out of it, okay? The opinions you are expressing to me indicate that you have no idea what you are talking about. I have known you for a while, and I am no more interested in what you think now than I was when we first met. Oh, and me actually typing and checking my email and sorting/filing papers on my desk while you blather? I am WORKING. Your shift may be over, but mine isn't. I know to my sorrow that subtle hints fly right under your radar, but I also know that if I try to tell you directly, however politely I phrase it, that I am working, and to please let me get on with it, this will precipitate a tearful complaint to my supervisor. JUST GO AWAY.
    "I'll be more enthusiastic about encouraging thinking outside the box when there's evidence of any thinking going on inside it."
    -- Terry Pratchett

  15. #15
    Member Sylkyn's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by D. Fenestrator View post
    Okay, Chatty Co-Worker, I appreciate the fact that you have OPINIONS and an AGENDA and are going to EXERCISE YOUR RIGHTS. Just leave me out of it, okay? The opinions you are expressing to me indicate that you have no idea what you are talking about. I have known you for a while, and I am no more interested in what you think now than I was when we first met. Oh, and me actually typing and checking my email and sorting/filing papers on my desk while you blather? I am WORKING. Your shift may be over, but mine isn't. I know to my sorrow that subtle hints fly right under your radar, but I also know that if I try to tell you directly, however politely I phrase it, that I am working, and to please let me get on with it, this will precipitate a tearful complaint to my supervisor. JUST GO AWAY.
    You work with me, don't you? You are talking about "her"...I know you are. If it's the same person, she does a whole lot of nothing all goddamn day, right? Surf the net, shuffle papers and play solitaire? And when she's not doing that, she's running her dicksucker non-fucking-stop about her daughters' soccer games like I'm even remotely interested...or for that matter, listening??

    Well no, can't be the same person, because I don't work at a place with shifts, but if this fucking praying mantis/Timon looking, methfaced twat doesn't stfu and soon, then somebody is gonna have to come bail my ass out of jail for assault. Unless it's homicide, then never mind because I don't think they have smallish bail amounts for that.

  16. #16
    The Apostabulous Inner Stickler's avatar
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    I have a headache and did not use my 3-day weekend very productively. This bites.
    I don't think so, therefore I'm probably not.

  17. #17
    The Queen Zuul's avatar
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    So, hey, Photobucket deleted my edited version of the Creation of Adam, presumably because of Adam's tiny peen.

    FUCK YOU PHOTOBUCKET

    Look, if God is there, looking at somebody's wang, it's OK. Seriously.
    So now they are just dirt-covered English people in fur pelts with credit cards.

  18. #18
    Prehistoric Bitchslapper Sarahfeena's avatar
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    I was going to start a whole thread on this, but I'm just too weary of the whole thing to work up enough outrage.

    Oprah. Why oh why are they closing down Michigan Avenue for you? I know you are richer than God. I know the city think's you're a bigger asset to tourism than Michael Jordan and Buckingham Fountain rolled into one. But seriously, why is this necessary? PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO GET TO WORK THIS MORNING. Some of them (many of them) WORK ON MICHIGAN AVENUE AND POINTS NEARBY. Please get your crew OUT OF THE WAY.

    I don't even work downtown, and this still irritates me to no end.

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    Oafrah!!

  20. #20
    Prehistoric Bitchslapper Sarahfeena's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Exy View post
    Oafrah!!
    OMG she makes me so mad so mad so mad.

  21. #21
    The Queen Zuul's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Sarahfeena View post
    I was going to start a whole thread on this, but I'm just too weary of the whole thing to work up enough outrage.

    Oprah. Why oh why are they closing down Michigan Avenue for you? I know you are richer than God. I know the city think's you're a bigger asset to tourism than Michael Jordan and Buckingham Fountain rolled into one. But seriously, why is this necessary? PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO GET TO WORK THIS MORNING. Some of them (many of them) WORK ON MICHIGAN AVENUE AND POINTS NEARBY. Please get your crew OUT OF THE WAY.

    I don't even work downtown, and this still irritates me to no end.
    Quote Originally posted by Exy View post
    Oafrah!!
    MY PEOPLE
    So now they are just dirt-covered English people in fur pelts with credit cards.

  22. #22
    The Apostabulous Inner Stickler's avatar
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    My headache has not gone away. And people have still not been to the costume shop for measurements and I was deluged at tonight's readthrough with a flood of new conflicts that managed to spring up between the time they filled out the audition sheet and tonight. *Stab stab murder kill blood spurt death for everyone*
    I don't think so, therefore I'm probably not.

  23. #23
    Resident Troublemaker beebs's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Exy View post
    Oafrah!!
    *BITES*

  24. #24
    Elen síla lumenn' omentielvo What Exit?'s avatar
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    I'm home sick today. This might be a rough September for me.

  25. #25
    Indifferent to bacon Julie's avatar
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    Grr. Two men just came into the office looking for job applications. They were dealing with my coworker, but I overheard one of them ask her, "Do you have two applications?" When she said yes, he said, "Good GIRRRL." Like he was talking to a puppy or something.

    Yuck.

  26. #26
    Prehistoric Bitchslapper Sarahfeena's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Julie View post
    Grr. Two men just came into the office looking for job applications. They were dealing with my coworker, but I overheard one of them ask her, "Do you have two applications?" When she said yes, he said, "Good GIRRRL." Like he was talking to a puppy or something.

    Yuck.
    OMG, I would have given him the major stinkeye if I were her. That is REALLY annoying.

  27. #27
    Stegodon
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    Quote Originally posted by Julie View post
    Grr. Two men just came into the office looking for job applications. They were dealing with my coworker, but I overheard one of them ask her, "Do you have two applications?" When she said yes, he said, "Good GIRRRL." Like he was talking to a puppy or something.

    Yuck.
    Grinning all the while, I might have handed them a single job request form and said, ever so apologetically, "I'm sorry, this is the last employment application that I have. Would you please take it to the copy center five miles away from here and make a duplicate?"

  28. #28
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    My junior college's transcript office is making me :Shake:.

    In July (why do I hear Orson Welles' voice in my head, mocking me?) I ordered my transcripts to be sent to my law school. The third week of August, I wander into the registrar at my present school to see if they got them. A little administrative ping-pong later turns up zip, zilch, nada.

    So I took time off from law school (!!!) to go down to the transcript office again. I ordered another set, this time addressing it to myself, figuring the original one had been lost in the post. Last Saturday I received a nice little envelope with a bunch of "OFFICIAL TRANSCRIPT" stamps all over the flap and notice it's a little thin but think nothing of it. When I took it in to the lady in the registrar's office, she opens the envelope to reveal...an enrollment verification letter. "Lady Xoc does not currently attend Tumbleweed Tech." Good to know, assholes! I only graduated five years ago!

    Sooo, since I go to law school 70 miles away, necessitating a 2.5 hour commute each way, all of my business hours are spent IN FUCKING LAW SCHOOL. I draft a letter authorizing my husband as my agent to pull my transcripts. When he went in today it was revealed that my records have been lost. Lost? FUCKING LOST. And also the letter was not good enough, they want me to show up in person with my diploma in hand. WTF-ever.

    1. Why, O Tumbleweed Tech, did you not call me to say the transcripts were lost when I first ordered them in MOTHERFUCKING JULY? You took my fucking money (a paltry dollar; my time is what really chafes) and never sent the thing, then when I order again you send what I clearly had not ordered (larval lawyer skill the first: never throw away receipts or any other documentation until long after the matter is settled).

    2. YOU LOST MY RECORDS? How the fuck did you re-tees manage that one?

    3. Thanks for cutting hours, now I have a nice hair-raising adventure on the 101 to look forward to on Friday instead of my usual train ride. That's 4 hours of study time I miss out on.

    Fucking incompetent motherfuckers, it's a miracle I managed to get my education from your half-baked institution.
    I'm pro-choice and I shoot back.

  29. #29
    Curmudgeon OtakuLoki's avatar
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    Completely lame. I used to really enjoy the AD&D computer games. I was mildly disgruntled when they went to 3rd ED rules, but figured they had to keep up with the changes in the paper game, or lose one of the important aspects of licensing. Then they went to 4th ED rules, and started spawning 'Prestige Classes' like some kind of disease. And now you can't finish the goddam games unless you are some hugely high level spellcaster of some kind.

    I don't want to cast spells, dammit. I don't want to worry about whether I have all the right materials or bullshit like that. I don't want to have to understand all the arcana of spellcasting and shit so I can micromanage the NPCs attached to my party. I want to be a tank and kill things, dammit.

    *grumble grumble*


    Oh, and the whole: Let's make the endings more *realistic* that I'm hearing about, where everything keeps going to shit for the PC and the world is another thing that pisses me off. I'm even less interested in finishing the game if I know that even if I get the best possible ending, all the NPCs I like die, or the world as I knew it is going to be destroyed.

    Obviously, I'm not the customer core who's been keeping these games selling when they get released, but I'm still reacting with: You want me to buy more of this crap, why?

  30. #30
    Porno Dealing Monster pepperlandgirl's avatar
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    GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD YOU PIGFUCKERS!

    Three times in two weeks I have nearly had an accident (once almost turned into a telephone pole). Why? Is it because I'm some sort of idiot? Because I'm a poor driver? No. Because people stand in the middle of parking lots and have their stupid, pigfucking conversations. STAND ON THE GRASS TO TALK YOU FUCKING DOUCHEBAGS!
    I'm still swimming in harmony. I'm still dreaming of flight. I'm still lost in the waves night after night...

    Do you have an idea or an article you would like to see on the Electric Elephant? Email me at theelectricelephant(at)gmail.com!

  31. #31
    The Apostabulous Inner Stickler's avatar
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    Why can't people list their goddam conflicts on the goddam audition sheet? Why is this so hard? Guess what numbnuts? If you lie in hopes it will get you cast, my rage will be furious and painful. If I were the director, there'd be several surprised idiots who are no longer in a play this semester.
    I don't think so, therefore I'm probably not.

  32. #32
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    I HATE FUCKERS WHO CHANGE LANES WITHOUT INDICATEING!

  33. #33
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    Quote Originally posted by What Exit? View post
    I'm home sick today. This might be a rough September for me.


    Sick plus september is the fucking worst, honey

  34. #34
    אני אוהב יהודים!
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    Quote Originally posted by pepperlandgirl View post
    GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD YOU PIGFUCKERS!
    Pepperpie has been possessed by MC!

  35. #35
    Porno Dealing Monster pepperlandgirl's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Sleeps w/Butterflies View post
    Pepperpie has been possessed by MC!
    No, it only seems that way when people stand in the middle of the fucking road...
    I'm still swimming in harmony. I'm still dreaming of flight. I'm still lost in the waves night after night...

    Do you have an idea or an article you would like to see on the Electric Elephant? Email me at theelectricelephant(at)gmail.com!

  36. #36
    Indifferent to bacon Julie's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by Red Denim View post
    I HATE FUCKERS WHO CHANGE LANES WITHOUT INDICATEING!
    I hate the people around here who will not move over to the right lane. Move over! M-ove-r! DOIT.

    The highway people were nice enough to add extra lanes when the hills get steep so we can pass your slow asses on the incline.

    MOVE THE FUCK OVER.

  37. #37
    Curmudgeon OtakuLoki's avatar
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    Pop quiz: If you're roller blading home at 10:45 PM after seeing the first regulation game of the season, and you're wearing dark sweatpants and a Brett Farve jersey, where will you roller blade?

    A: Sidewalk
    B: Side of the Road
    C: At the Busstop
    D: In the Middle of the Fucking Road!

    Those of you who chose D, I hope you have your organ donor card filled out, and have talked about your choice with your family.

    Bacon-fed, cabbage-shagging idiot.

  38. #38
    Miss Entropy Angua's avatar
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    Quote Originally posted by OtakuLoki View post
    Pop quiz: If you're roller blading home at 10:45 PM after seeing the first regulation game of the season, and you're wearing dark sweatpants and a Brett Farve jersey, where will you roller blade?

    A: Sidewalk
    B: Side of the Road
    C: At the Busstop
    D: In the Middle of the Fucking Road!

    Those of you who chose D, I hope you have your organ donor card filled out, and have talked about your choice with your family.

    Bacon-fed, cabbage-shagging idiot.
    Sounds like the bloody idiotic undergrad freshman (I presume) that was attempting to become an organ donor this evening. Look numbskull, if you're wearing black sweatpants, black running shoes, and a black t-shirt, crossing the frigging street in the middle of the road, away from an intersection is not a good idea, m'kay? Especially not when its a busy frigging road. Stupid fucking undergrads.

  39. #39
    The Apostabulous Inner Stickler's avatar
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    Hey twathead in the math skills center! When people come asking you for help on a math problem, the correct response is to help them out, not stare at them and say, "There isn't really a process, after you do enough of them, you just know."

    It wasn't me, but rather some kids in my calc class who were confused about limits. But it's not the first time that I've heard or had bad experiences with the tutors in the math skills center. How can people so good at logic and math be so jaw-droppingly braindead?
    I don't think so, therefore I'm probably not.

  40. #40
    Stegodon Jaglavak's avatar
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    Dear Boss:

    Yes, I know my lookahead calendar shows me at 160%. That's because you:

    Assigned me to 18 separate projects at once.
    Told me to kick them all off now.
    Instructed me to go sniff around and assign priority levels myself
    When none of the projects except the ones I am leading had schedules, ordered me to guess. Sorry, "estimate".
    Proceeded to call me every other day with orders to drop what I'm doing and jump on something else.

    So now upper management is concerned about overtime and you need me to rework my lookahead down to 100%. No problemo. Estimated time until frantic management phone call squawking about the resulting timelines: 100 minutes.

    It's a living.

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