Why I left the Dope: Mental/Emotional Problems

[digs]

Someone alerted me to a bizarre thread at That Dopey Board, so I had to head on back to watch the train wreck.

Rand Rover (a Liberal-esque knee-jerk Randian Conservative) has spent the last few years insulting everyone he can, including those who've been trying to help him. And then he proposes a Chicago DopeFest, but wants it to be people he's "interacted with on the board".

To which the general consensus is summed up by the OP: "Look, pal, I've interacted with you on the board, and if I were going to a bar to meet you in real life, you'd be well advised to run me through a metal detector before I get drunk.

You think you're liked here? You think people want to know you? Ever since you've joined the SDMB, you've spent your time telling almost every single one of us that we're shit. Almost every single one of us has told you that you are shit. You want to meet us? Why, to demonstrate your social skills?"

You'd have to read the whole thread to watch RR claiming that everyone just misunderstands him -- "mischaracterization and sheer lunacy", is how he puts it.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Well, here was my post:

Wow. There are some serious mental, or at least emotional, problems on this board. And I think this thread just crystallized it for me.

Somebody tried to help a fellow doper: "Seems that quite a lot of people are reading your posts and coming to the same incorrect conclusions about you. Might want to consider the possibility that you aren't coming across the way you think you're coming across."

Wow. That would stop me in my tracks for some much-needed self-reflection, and maybe repentance, or at least a change in how I approach others.

But Rand Rover immediately responds ... declaring that everyone who doesn't like him is a "liberal douche".

WHY would someone that unhappy, that emotionally immature, WANT to meet the people he's treated this way? And not understand when people express surprise at that? (and some even try to help! And he's rude to them, too!)

RR may be the worst, but he's not the only one. So to any of the posters here that respond to honest comments with insults, with straw men, with defensiveness: get some help.

You may think it's funny, you may claim it's just an act, but I think you're fooling yourself. You need counseling, if not meds. Stop playing around on a message board and fix your life.

And now, I think I'll go do the same.

[iampunha]

WHY would someone that unhappy, that emotionally immature, WANT to meet the people he's treated this way? And not understand when people express surprise at that? (and some even try to help! And he's rude to them, too!)

Might it be that he actually doesn't think everyone hates him? (Bear in mind that what he thinks and what is the case are not necessarily born of the same species of animal. One mindset may even have been born of convenience or assumption.)

RR may be the worst, but he's not the only one. So to any of the posters here that respond to honest comments with insults, with straw men, with defensiveness: get some help.

Anyone who thinks like RR does won't think s/he needs help, I'd bet.

[What Exit?]

Good question, I saw both those threads and was surprised by both. RR could have tried to handle Frank's pitting with humor or the way he did. I think he was trying at first but failed. Frank went after him pretty hard and I thought unfairly but I did not know about the threads leading up to the pitting at first, just the MPSIMS Chicago Dopefest thread.

Rand Rover is about as popular over there as Carol Stream, but she has no illusions of her relative popularity at least. RR might have a real disconnect, but with even the least effort, I am sure many would have still been happy to meet him. More importantly meet him and others from the area.

I know Clothahump is unpopular for his political views but he seems like a good guy overall, I would be happy to meet him someday. I also note he participates in many non-political/pit threads. He comes off well rounded if a bit far to the right for most dopers tastes. Maybe RR is also well rounded but just does not bother to show it. Another example I can think of is leander goes after a few other posters really hard but also is very pleasant otherwise and around the different forums. So again, while some or many might not like the way he goes after a few posters, I suspect he would be pleasant company for a Dopefest or to drink a few beers with. RR probably just does not realize that most dopers only see one side of his personality. Maybe he really is a fun guy IRL, but none of us see that.

[OneCentStamp]

I know Clothahump is unpopular for his political views but he seems like a good guy overall, I would be happy to meet him someday. I also note he participates in many non-political/pit threads. He comes off well rounded if a bit far to the right for most dopers tastes.

I have met Clothahump in person, he and his wife are lovely people. People's (or at least most people's) political views are only one small wedge of their personality and self-identity, and there is a world of common ground to be found with almost anyone.

ETA: The most extreme example of this is of course Der Trihs, who is unbearably strident and acerbic in GD, but in any other forum he's affable, knowledgeable and self-effacing. It's Jeckyll and Hyde.

[What Exit?]

I know Clothahump is unpopular for his political views but he seems like a good guy overall, I would be happy to meet him someday. I also note he participates in many non-political/pit threads. He comes off well rounded if a bit far to the right for most dopers tastes.

I have met Clothahump in person, he and his wife are lovely people. People's (or at least most people's) political views are only one small wedge of their personality and self-identity, and there is a world of common ground to be found with almost anyone.

Exactly what I would expect.

[Harmonious Discord]

So your saying because Rand Rover got his ass flamed your not posting on the Dope any longer? :dub:

He is the only person I've ever put on the ignore list, because I can't stand his horrible personality injected into every thread. Yes I read the original posting too. I didn't however continue reading it.

[Exy]

I bet the combativeness and limited social skills preceded the politics. (If you want evidence of how bizarrely wrong Rand Rover's perceptions of why everyone hates him is, think about this: his politics are very similar to those of, say, Vox Imperatoris, and everybody loves Vox. So it's not that people can't handle your political views, now is it?)

But it sort of makes sense that you'd cling to out-there political views (and express them in an obnoxious manner) if you were already someone who had trouble interacting with people. It gives you a convenient excuse that preserves your self-esteem to just blame everyone else for not being able to deal with your politics. I have a hard time imagining you can be as angry and aggressive and defensive as Rand Rover without having had a long history of difficult personal interactions to make you so hostile to start out with.

[jayjay]

everybody loves Vox.

Facts not in evidence...

I don't HATE Vox. I don't love him, though, or even really like him that much. I'm keeping an open mind what adult Vox will be like, but his current persona annoys a bit. Teenage know-it-all-ism does that to me.

[Sleeps w/Butterflies]

Yes, because I'm sure that Exy meant that LITERALLY everyone, everyone, everyone loves Vox. Every single person, everywhere. Thank goodness you were here to make your objection known.

[Exy]

Facts not in evidence...

I don't HATE Vox. I don't love him, though, or even really like him that much. I'm keeping an open mind what adult Vox will be like, but his current persona annoys a bit. Teenage know-it-all-ism does that to me.

(I was only referring to people anyone cares about, sorry.)

[Guinastasia]

Kinda hard for him to spend the last few years insulting everyone...considering he'll only have BEEN at the Dope for a year come September.

[nonny]

(I was only referring to people anyone cares about, sorry.)

I must agree with my distinguished colleague.

-Senator Nonny

[jayjay]

(I was only referring to people anyone cares about, sorry.)

Hey, thanks. Remind me when I peed in your cornflakes again?

[Exy]

Hey, thanks. Remind me when I peed in your cornflakes again?

I think it was when you took a thread that wasn't about Vox Imperatoris, who's a very nice kid by any standard, and spontaneously insulted him based on nothing more than my having mentioned him? Despite his not being around to defend himself? He's a kid, and he's an excellent poster by any standard. I assume you argued with him at some point and he humiliated you, something he's undoubtedly capable of. Doesn't mean it's not pretty classless to talk shit about him for no reason.

[jayjay]

Never mind. Fuck it. Not worth my time or energy.

[Exy]

Never mind. Fuck it. Not worth my time or energy.

Whatever, dude. I didn't force you to talk shit about a now-absent 16-year-old kid.

Have fun with your life.

[jayjay]

Never mind. Fuck it. Not worth my time or energy.

Whatever, dude. I didn't force you to talk shit about a now-absent 16-year-old kid.

Have fun with your life.

You have very low standards as to what constitutes "talking shit". The reflection I'm getting of my post from you is that I called him nasty names and insulted his ancestry, while simultaneously accusing him of fucking chipmunks. That's a little bit of an over-the-top reaction to what was a mild expression of annoyance at his past posting history.

The vehemence of your reaction surprised me. That's largely responsible for the post you quoted above. I just did not see the steps that led from the really rather mild post I made about Vox to you suddenly treating that post as if it were the culmination of some sort of long path of disgust and disapprobation of me. I think I've interacted with you on this board maybe twice. I just didn't expect to get slapped in the face for what I posted.

[Exy]

You have very low standards as to what constitutes "talking shit". The reflection I'm getting of my post from you is that I called him nasty names and insulted his ancestry, while simultaneously accusing him of fucking chipmunks. That's a little bit of an over-the-top reaction to what was a mild expression of annoyance at his past posting history.

The vehemence of your reaction surprised me. That's largely responsible for the post you quoted above. I just did not see the steps that led from the really rather mild post I made about Vox to you suddenly treating that post as if it were the culmination of some sort of long path of disgust and disapprobation of me. I think I've interacted with you on this board maybe twice. I just didn't expect to get slapped in the face for what I posted.

Hey that's pretty cool dude.

[jayjay]

Hey that's pretty cool dude.

Thanks. I'm having many of my illusions (some as old as 9 years) shattered lately as far as the Dope and Dopers go. I'm not handling the situation that well, I'm afraid...and I do apologize if what I posted really offended you. I'll apologize for phrasing things the way I did (or for even bothering to post my opinion of him here) to Vox, too, if he shows up. It's been a lousy three or four days for my confidence in my ability to discern someone's character online.

[Sleeps w/Butterflies]

[digs]

So, I finally check back with "That Rand Rover Dope Thread" to see if anyone's offended by my original post (stating that a number of Dopers could use therapy!). Oh, good, no rational posters' feelings hurt, just a post from RR (keep in mind this is in response to a post where I point out that he insults people that are trying to help him) (Warning, the irony gets a little thick):

Quote: Originally Posted by Rand Rover
Here digs, take a couple of these: (rolleyes smileys) and I'll ask your mom to call you in the morning (if she can somehow manage to extricate my dick from her ass).

-- And I was afraid I was being too quick to judge the guy as having serious problems. Ah, well.

ps: doesn't bother me, but please don't show this to my saintly silver-coiffed mother.

[jayjay]

I never really thought you were a bitch before. I guess I CAN be wrong.

Such a pretty face. Such an ugly soul.

[Exy]

So, I finally check back with "That Rand Rover Dope Thread" to see if anyone's offended by my original post (stating that a number of Dopers could use therapy!). Oh, good, no rational posters' feelings hurt, just a post from RR (keep in mind this is in response to a post where I point out that he insults people that are trying to help him) (Warning, the irony gets a little thick):

Quote: Originally Posted by Rand Rover
Here digs, take a couple of these: (rolleyes smileys) and I'll ask your mom to call you in the morning (if she can somehow manage to extricate my dick from her ass).

-- And I was afraid I was being too quick to judge the guy as having serious problems. Ah, well.

ps: doesn't bother me, but please don't show this to my saintly silver-coiffed mother.

thread is proof we could all use therapy

[Sleeps w/Butterflies]

I'm crushed, Jayjay. I'm truly crushed. I have so much of my self worth wrapped up in what people like you think of me.

How does it go? I'm having so many of my illusions shattered right now, I don't think I'm going to be able to handle this well......

[Exy]

I never really thought you were a bitch before. I guess I CAN be wrong.

Such a pretty face. Such an ugly soul.

omg

What a truly hilarious inability to take things with a little perspective.

(ps how much do you weigh again?)

[jayjay]

What a bunch of children. I was wrong. Vox is actually more mature than you people.

[Sleeps w/Butterflies]

Jayjay, please don't take your fat aggression out on us.

[Exy]

What a bunch of children. I was wrong. Vox is actually more mature than you people.

Yeah, Vox is pretty great. That's why we love him. I'm glad you're starting to understand.

[Exy]

What a bunch of children. I was wrong. Vox is actually more mature than you people.

For context, people have offered me midol here probably half a dozen times (and I'm sure at least some of them were our Sleeps.)

Maybe if that kind of thing is so upsetting to you you shouldn't start saying things about others? I mean, if you need your own feelings walked around so carefully maybe you should be extra nice to others.

[digs]

C'mon, you guys. I just closed my Dope Thread tab (for good) because of the immaturity there -- posters insulting people instead of listening to them. Don't you guys start in.

... And make me realize that every message board is made up of emotional third-graders (over-sensitive re: themselves/under-sensitive to others).

[hatesfreedom]

[Exy]

... And make me realize that every message board is made up of emotional third-graders (over-sensitive re: themselves/under-sensitive to others).

yah i too am disgusted by everyone other than me

(ps someone turn hatesy's picture into a sticky pls)

[Guinastasia]

C'mon, you guys. I just closed my Dope Thread tab (for good) because of the immaturity there -- posters insulting people instead of listening to them. Don't you guys start in.

... And make me realize that every message board is made up of emotional third-graders (over-sensitive re: themselves/under-sensitive to others).

*buuuuuurrrrp*

[featherlou]

C'mon, you guys. I just closed my Dope Thread tab (for good) because of the immaturity there -- posters insulting people instead of listening to them. Don't you guys start in.

... And make me realize that every message board is made up of emotional third-graders (over-sensitive re: themselves/under-sensitive to others).

I would say something about how people are acting really crappy in this thread, but it is in the Thunderdome, and that is the place for being flat-out jerks. Honest suggestion - maybe a different forum would be a better place for a thread like this.

[Guinastasia]

C'mon, you guys. I just closed my Dope Thread tab (for good) because of the immaturity there -- posters insulting people instead of listening to them. Don't you guys start in.

... And make me realize that every message board is made up of emotional third-graders (over-sensitive re: themselves/under-sensitive to others).

All right, no offense, but then why are you posting in forums that are specifically designated for flaming? Insults are pretty much expected.

And as far as Rand Rover goes, the guy is a pretty hateful, nasty individual. I don't know if you've followed some of the things he's spewn at various posters, but I really don't give a shit about him.

Basically, digs, if you can't stand the heat -- stay out of the kitchen.

[The J Word]

Is this thread needed?

It contains two things..

-Domebo poster refers to thread he posted in on SDMB
-Excalibur wants to fuck Vox HARD.

Anything new?

[Holy Zues]

[blue:2fvms0py]
ATTENTION MORTALS

RAND ROVER IS INDEED A DOUCHE.

BUT FRANK PROVED HIMSELF WORSE. THE INTRAWEBS TOUGH-GUY "I'LL SHANK YOU IF YOU GET NEAR ME, YOU BIG BULLY" IS PRICELESS. WHO BUT AN IMPOTENT ADOLESCENT WITH BALLS THAT HAVE YET TO DROP WOULD UTTER SUCH A LAUGHABLE AND PATHETIC THREAT?

I WOULD RATHER EAT WITH RAND ROVER AND HIS MANSION AND HIS YACHT THAN SISSY-BOY FRANK AND HIS SHARPENED SPOON-SHANK.

ON SECOND THOUGHT, A POX ON BOTH THEIR HOUSES. I FIND THE FERRET ALLURING. WHAT ARE YOU DOING NEXT WEEK FURRY-HATTED ONE?

[/blue:2fvms0py]

[/quote]

[digs]

C'mon, you guys. I just closed my Dope Thread tab (for good) because of the immaturity there -- posters insulting people instead of listening to them. Don't you guys start in.

... And make me realize that every message board is made up of emotional third-graders (over-sensitive re: themselves/under-sensitive to others).

All right, no offense, but then why are you posting in forums that are specifically designated for flaming? Insults are pretty much expected...

Basically, digs, if you can't stand the heat -- stay out of the kitchen.

Best. Therapy. Ever. I think I will.

But I moved over here from The Dopey because I thought this was a "cooler kitchen". Or at least a more rational one. Oh, well -- maybe I need an analog week or two.

[Duke]

Kinda hard for him to spend the last few years insulting everyone...considering he'll only have BEEN at the Dope for a year come September.

It's fairly obvious to me RR is socking. He's posted in the Pit from Day One of his membership and knew all of the back history of the Dope and posted like a guy who'd been there for years. He ludicrously claimed to me that he lurked for nine years before joining the SDMB, in a pathetic excuse when he remembered verbatim a thread on the Dope from three years before he joined. There's a guy named ivn1188 who posts in exactly the same manner (and in almost all of the same threads) that RR does, and even claims to be a lawyer just like RR. And so on and so on.

I'm admittedly just trying to poke RR enough to figure out who he is. I'm honestly surprised he hasn't been banned yet. In addition to the obvious socking, he's admitted to trolling on more than one occasion, and he's been warned for various offenses repeatedly. Even in the old days he would have been out of there some time ago.

[Exy]

There's a guy named ivn1188 who posts in exactly the same manner (and in almost all of the same threads) that RR does, and even claims to be a lawyer just like RR. And so on and so on.

Yeah, ivn1188 has been popping up on my tard-dar lately. He's a lot like Rand Rover; I could easily believe RR was a sock he created in order to let out his rage.

[Guinastasia]

True -- but even if he's not socking, he's surely trolling. I still think the the OP is majorly over-reacting.

[Shodan]

Somebody tried to help a fellow doper: "Seems that quite a lot of people are reading your posts and coming to the same incorrect conclusions about you. Might want to consider the possibility that you aren't coming across the way you think you're coming across."

Or else you are the subject of a pile-on.

I mean, come on. That nearly all the Usual Suspects hate you on the SDMB is hardly proof that there is anything wrong with you. Frank threatens his life, and this is Rand's fault. Suuuuure it is.

Regards,
Shodan

[Myrnalene]

Usual Suspects

Keep that stupid shit at the other board, tyvm.

[featherlou]

I don't have much to contribute since I don't really know what any of you people are talking about; I just want to use my sig when Shodan shows up.


Up yours,
featherlou

[Shodan]

Further evidence that when idiots hate you, it's always your fault.

Regards,
Shodan

[Guinastasia]

Somebody tried to help a fellow doper: "Seems that quite a lot of people are reading your posts and coming to the same incorrect conclusions about you. Might want to consider the possibility that you aren't coming across the way you think you're coming across."

Or else you are the subject of a pile-on.

I mean, come on. That nearly all the Usual Suspects hate you on the SDMB is hardly proof that there is anything wrong with you. Frank threatens his life, and this is Rand's fault. Suuuuure it is.

Regards,
Shodan

One, ONE person threatened him. Everyone else simply told the guy he was a shithead. Which he is. It's OUR fault he has to go around making nasty, hateful remarks? Yeah, whatever Shodan.

That cross sure must be getting heavy by now -- you need a hand?

[Shodan]

One, ONE person threatened him. Everyone else simply told the guy he was a shithead.

Which is my point. Death threats are not enough to get you labelled with mental problems; political disagreement with the Hive Mind is.

Regards,
Shodan

[Guinastasia]

One, ONE person threatened him. Everyone else simply told the guy he was a shithead.

Which is my point. Death threats are not enough to get you labelled with mental problems; political disagreement with the Hive Mind is.

Regards,
Shodan

Wha? The OP seems to be accusing people of mental problems for constantly harassing the guy -- the rest of us think Rand Rover (provided he's not a troll) is a crank because all he does is insult people. But yeah, sure, it's because he's not agreeing with them politically.

You know Shodan, you have got to be the whiniest, most-thin-skinned dickweed with the biggest persecution complex I've ever come across on the Dope. While he was wrong to reveal it, Tomndebb told us you even go around reporting posts that you think are "too biased against the right" or some such nonsense.

Grow the fuck up. I don't see Airman, or sarahfeena, or Jodi getting this kind of bullshit. I wonder why.

[featherlou]

You're a rebel, Shodan.

Up yours,
featherlou

[Nrblex]

Wah wah wah, somebody sucks on a message board that IS NOT THE MESSAGE BOARD I'M POSTING THIS ON.

Oh, and then you've got to drag your sissy flaccid cock slapping fight over here with this bullshit.

That's the whole thread right here:

*flaccid dick slap*
*flaccid dick slap*
*flaccid dick slap*
*flaccid dick slap*
*flaccid dick slap*
*flaccid dick slap*
*flaccid dick slap*
*flaccid dick slap*
*flaccid dick slap*
*flaccid dick slap*

Fuck. RAGE why don't you?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!!?

THIS IS THE GODDAMNED THUNDERDOME AND I AM HERE TO KILL