Grow up Aunt Em!

[SugarPlum]

Why do you think it's ok to send me chain letter emails every day? Do you really believe that all your special wishes are coming true because you forwarded some stupid poem on to 14 people within 7 minutes? Seriously? Because if you really make that many wishes I feel like maybe things would be going a tad better for ya right now.

Also do you really want to expose me to vague threats about all the bad things that can happen if I don't forward it to 25 of my own closest friends in the next 32 seconds?

The worst ones are the prayers, or the special 'angels' who will will happily do my bidding if I pass the email along. Exactly which religion worships a god that rewards people for spamming their friends and smites those who delete crap forwards?

You are over 50 years old! Who the hell is sending YOU this stuff to begin with? Why don't you do like everybody normal and NOT pass on every piece of junk you get in your inbox?!

If nothing else, could you please clearly mark this as a forward in the subject line so I can be sure to delete without opening?

Thanks,

Sugarplum

[Borborygmi]

I think I am on Aunt Em's mailing list. Do all her e-mails come to you in 40+ pt. font, too?

[OneCentStamp]

I think I am on Aunt Em's mailing list. Do all her e-mails come to you in 40+ pt. font, too?

And are the subject lines something like...

FW: Fw: FW: FW: FW: Fw: FW: FW: Re: FW: FW: ANGEL'S ARE WATCHING OVER YOU

WARNING: Do NOT delete this e-mail! You're day will be ruined!!

[SugarPlum]

FW: Fw: FW: FW: FW: Fw: FW: FW: Re: FW: FW: ANGEL'S ARE WATCHING OVER YOU

I'm pretty sure I've also gotten this one:

FW: Fw: FW: FW: FW: Fw: FW: FW: Re: FW: FW: ANGLE'S ARE WATCHING OVER YOU

[OneCentStamp]

FW: Fw: FW: FW: FW: Fw: FW: FW: Re: FW: FW: ANGEL'S ARE WATCHING OVER YOU

I'm pretty sure I've also gotten this one:

FW: Fw: FW: FW: FW: Fw: FW: FW: Re: FW: FW: ANGLE'S ARE WATCHING OVER YOU

Oh, those too! I saw one the other day! I said, "Aww, what acute angle!"

[jali]

I've gotten in too, and it always ends like this:

NOTICE TO RECIPIENT: If you are not the intended recipient of this e-mail, you are prohibited from sharing, copying, or otherwise using or disclosing its contents. If you have received this e-mail in error, please notify the sender immediately by reply e-mail and permanently delete this e-mail and any attachments without reading, forwarding or saving them. Thank you.

NOTICE: This communication may contain privileged or other confidential
information. If you are not the intended recipient, or believe that you
have received this communication in error, please do not print, copy,
retransmit, disseminate, or otherwise use the information. Also, please
indicate to the sender that you have received this communication in
error, and delete the copy you received. Thank you.

This message is confidential, intended only for the named recipient(s) and may contain information that is privileged or exempt from disclosure under applicable law. If you are not the intended recipient(s), you are notified that the dissemination, distribution, or copying of this message is strictly prohibited. If you receive this message in error or are not the named recipient(s), please notify the sender by return email and delete this message. Thank you.

[SugarPlum]

Too funny, Jali!

[Baldwin]

Look, your Aunt Em and Uncle Henry took you in and raised you on that farm, and even got you a little dog. So do your chores and quit sassin'.

[Chimera]

Scanned past this and my eyes blurred the last poster and the thread title.

Blow up Aunt Em!

[Hatshepsut]

Blow up Aunt Em!

Well, that would solve the problem, wouldn't it?

Everyone is cursed with at least one such friend or relative, I'm afraid. In our case, it is an old friend who I used to admire for his sharp mind and no-nonsense attitude. Now we get so many dumb forwards from him that the minute I see his name in my inbox I reflexively hit the delete button. Recently he actually sent a personal note asking me to write a college recommendation for his daughter. I nearly trashed it without realizing what it was.

Ass.

[Chimera]

Thankfully, I've lost contact or broken relations with a number of those people. Funny, at the time I took it as a bad thing. But when I recently looked at the web page of a "dear old friend" who I'd broken off with in 2001, I found that she'd become a radical Tea Party Republican. Now I can't stop laughing that "Ms. Always Right" has descended into crackpottery.