Tell an offensive joke. I've put this in Thunderdome so hate speech is allowed.
I'll start
Q: Why don't niggers like cruises?
[spoiler:1j7pcpxh]A: Long memories[/spoiler:1j7pcpxh]
Tell an offensive joke. I've put this in Thunderdome so hate speech is allowed.
I'll start
Q: Why don't niggers like cruises?
[spoiler:1j7pcpxh]A: Long memories[/spoiler:1j7pcpxh]
What do you call a black who flies a plane?
[spoiler:1opj6lfg]A pilot, you fucking racist.[/spoiler:1opj6lfg]
spoilers eh? Good idea!
I don't get the OP...
What's the difference between a Jew and Santa Claus?
[spoiler:27z0c4lo]Santa Claus goes DOWN a chimney.[/spoiler:27z0c4lo]
Something tells me we haven't seen the last of foreshadowing.
I believe it's a reference to the slave trade.Originally posted by AllWalker
Question: What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?
[spoiler:h89y8lt6]Answer: Nothing. You already told her twice.[/spoiler:h89y8lt6]
...And along those same lines:
What's the first thing a woman should do after she leaves a shelter?
[spoiler:2yblhecz]The dishes, if she knows what's good for her.[/spoiler:2yblhecz]
Better is heart than a mighty blade
For him who shall fiercely fight;
The brave man well shall fight and win,
Though dull his blade may be.
And for the kiddie-lovers out there:
What's the best part of screwing an 8-year old girl?
[spoiler:3unrp03i]Flip her over and you can pretend she's an 8-year old boy, too.[/spoiler:3unrp03i]
How do you make a 5-year old cry twice?
[spoiler:3unrp03i]Wipe your bloody dick off on her teddy bear[/spoiler:3unrp03i]
Better is heart than a mighty blade
For him who shall fiercely fight;
The brave man well shall fight and win,
Though dull his blade may be.
Here's another one
A 747 is crossing the Atlantic and the captain comes onto the tannoy saying "2 engines have failed - so that the plane can continue to the other side we are going to have to get rid of some passengers. In order to make this fair we shall do it alphabetically, so will all asians, africans, blacks, coons, chinks and darkies jump out of their nearest exit". Later on the captain walks down the aisle to check if everyone has complied and finds a dark skinned gentlemen, and demands of him, "What are you doing still here?" to which the gentleman replies, "I is a wog".
I'm going to get slated for this one...
MICHAEL JACKSON IS NOT DEAD !
[spoiler:2nc8ff4f]They found him in the children's ward having a stroke.[/spoiler:2nc8ff4f]
Upon arriving in Heaven Farrah Fawcett was told she'd be granted one wish. She thought for a moment and then said that she'd like the world to be made safe for children.
Fawcett is in line to get into Heaven. Going the other direction past them are people who are on the way to Hell. Each one is a guy paired with an uglier and uglier girl.
Fawcett asks what the first guy did.. He's with a chick that you would gag just looking at. An eye half out of a socket.. A would oozing pus right on her chin.. Really nasty stuff. Apparently, the guy says, he killed a guy in a hit and run accident and got away with it. For eternity he's gotta walk with that ugly girl without even enough brain to hold up a conversation.
The second guy goes past with a girl that made Fawcett almost vomit.. She was literally a walking, rotting, zombie corpse. She had maggots falling off of her. She asked the guy in front of her if he knew what that guy had done. Apparently he had raped a child and left it for dead in a ditch.
Suddenly she sees Michael Jackson walking with a big tittied blond supermodel. "What the hell?!" she asks "I thought he was a terrible person!"
[spoiler:39qi1u38]The guy in front of her says gravely.. "ohhh.. you don't even want to know what she did."[/spoiler:39qi1u38]
This is one I heard last night.. thankfully google saved me from having to butcher it.
There is a man who has three girlfriends, but he does not know
which one to marry. So he decides to give each one $5000 and see how
each of them spends it.
The first one goes out and gets a total makeover with the money.
She gets new clothes, a new hairdo, manicure, pedicure, the works, and
tells the man, "I spent the money so I could look pretty for you,
because I love you so much."
The second one went out and bought new golf clubs, a CD player, a
television and a stereo and gives them to the man. She says, "I bought
these gifts for you with the money because I love you so much."
The third one takes the $5000 and invests it in the stock market,
doubles her investment, returns the $5000 to the man and reinvests the
rest. She says, "I am investing the rest of the money for our future
because I love you so much."
[spoiler:s0ey6zaa]The man thought long and hard about how each of the women spent
the money. He finally decided to marry the one with the biggest tits.[/spoiler:s0ey6zaa]
Why did Michael Jackson love twenty-nine year olds?
Because there were twenty of them.
What sound does a baby make in a microwave?
[spoiler:17vpfz14]I don't know, I was too busy jacking off.[/spoiler:17vpfz14]
Welcome to Mellophant.
We started with nothing and we still have most of it left.
What's the best part about fucking thirty-eight-year-olds?Originally posted by ulfhjorr
[spoiler:2u6emt1e]There are 30 of them[/spoiler:2u6emt1e]
Shit, Clayton-e beat me. To the concept, at least..
Joe
That's AWESOME!Originally posted by Mister Owl
Joe
After all his reconstructive surgeries, the autopsy on Michael Jackson showed that his body was mostly plastic. They decided that, instead of cremating him, they would simply melt the plastic down, make some Legos out of it and let the 8 year olds play with him for a change.
Political correctness will be the death of our country.
Why do cows smell like that?
[spoiler:zkovtz7h]Because they live close to farmers.[/spoiler:zkovtz7h]
Why don't blacks like aspirin?
[spoiler:1ozs3ei5]1. They are white
2. They work
3. You have to pick cotton to get to them.[/spoiler:1ozs3ei5]
Hey -- anyone here ever seen Ray Charles's wife?
"At Pottery Barn, if you knock over a lamp, you have to glue it back together, even if when you're done it looks terrible and it doesn't work. Oh, and you have to stay in the store forever. Oh, and it's an exploding lamp. "
-Stephen Colbert
Originally posted by Guinastasia
Neither has he!!
"I'll be more enthusiastic about encouraging thinking outside the box when there's evidence of any thinking going on inside it."
-- Terry Pratchett
Do you know what you call a game of tennis between Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder?
Endless love!
"I'll be more enthusiastic about encouraging thinking outside the box when there's evidence of any thinking going on inside it."
-- Terry Pratchett
What's easier to unload, a truck full of bowling balls or a truck full of dead babies?
[spoiler:3d12s0v0]Dead babies because you can use a pitchfork[/spoiler:3d12s0v0]
What's grosser than gross?
[spoiler:325640l0]Two vampires fighting over a used tampon[/spoiler:325640l0]
"At Pottery Barn, if you knock over a lamp, you have to glue it back together, even if when you're done it looks terrible and it doesn't work. Oh, and you have to stay in the store forever. Oh, and it's an exploding lamp. "
-Stephen Colbert
What's the difference between Sarah Palin's mouth and her vagina?
[spoiler:1t1s96or]Only some of the things that come out of her vagina are retarded.[/spoiler:1t1s96or]
Q: What's the difference between jelly and jam?
[spoiler:237qda7r]A :You can't jelly you dick into a 4 yr old's mouth[/spoiler:237qda7r]
Joe
Why did so many black soldiers die in Vietnam?
Because every time the platoon leader shouted "Get down!", they all started dancing!
To sleep, perchance to experience amygdalocortical activation and prefrontal deactivation.
What's the hardest part of fucking a 5-year old?
Getting rid of the body.
How many exploding cigars does it take to kill 25 migrant farmworkers?
One Corona.
A Northener(English) walks into a pub with a pig under his arm.
The barman says where the fuck did you get that?
The pig says I won him in a raffle.
Thirty minutes of Googling not only doesn't make you an expert in a subject,it doesn't even make you right.Real life experience and education will win out every single time
Okay then, what's the difference between a black man and a pizza?
[spoiler:fed55ekc]A pizza can feed a family of four.[/spoiler:fed55ekc]
Or, what's the difference between a rock and a dead baby?
[spoiler:fed55ekc]You can't fuck a rock.[/spoiler:fed55ekc]
To sleep, perchance to experience amygdalocortical activation and prefrontal deactivation.