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Thread: Let's talk about the "C" word! And lappers! And waffles!

  1. #1
    Clueless but well-meaning Hatshepsut's avatar
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    Default Let's talk about the "C" word! And lappers! And waffles!

    Like so many of us, I really hadn't spent much time thinking about the word "cunt" until EZ in his infinite wisdom helped me to learn that it can be combined with other words like "lapper" and "waffle" to create new and exciting action words or confections.

    Now, I just can't seem to get the word out of my mind. What other engaging cunt-combo words are out there, I wonder? Would it be possible to come up with an instantly meaningful term that gets no hits on Google?

    Speaking of which, a little quick research reveals that the terms "cuntlapper" and "cuntwaffle" are fairly obscure, although one has to wonder if their usage will blossom in the future, thanks to their recent notoriety in some parts of the net. But for now, "cuntlapper" produces a mere 36,600 hits on Google, which is pretty slim pickings compared to most terms. As for "cuntwaffle"? Just 1420 hits!

    I constantly find myself trying to come up with unique and colorful cunt words with zero Google hits, but I'm not doing too well. Here's some of my rather pathetic efforts:

    cuntnoodle (397 hits)
    cunt-o-rama (13,100)
    cuntastic (2590)
    cuntalicious (731)

    Perhaps other Domers could improve upon my efforts?

    Also, I see the word "cunt" sometimes where no cunt is intended. For example, every Saturday my family goes to a favorite restaurant and my husband always orders the "meatlover's special." And I think to myself "boy, it sure would be funny if that were changed to 'cuntlover's special.'"

    Obviously, I am a very sick person. Thanks a lot, Ed.

  2. #2
    Stegodon SilverTygerGirl's avatar
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    Default Re: Let's talk about the "C" word! And lappers! And waffles!

    I've usually heard cuntwaffle as twatwaffle. Cuntwaffle is easier to say, but I think twatwaffle is a funner word. (and that's 2 more g-hits...)
    When all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail. When all you have is a bowel disruptor, everything's a poop joke.
    www.CuriouslyLydean.net - comics, cocktails, writing, and other odd things.

  3. #3
    Global Moderator AllWalker's avatar
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    Default Re: Let's talk about the "C" word! And lappers! And waffles!

    Cuntology - 701 hits, one of which was Urban Dictionary.

    Cuntrocket - 525 hits, one of which was Urban Dictionary.

    Cuntalope - 182 hits, again an entry in UD. Dammit.

    Cuntizzle - 121 hits

    Cuntistic - 8 hits. Yeah!

    Cuntopoly - 5 hits. Yeah yeah!
    Something tells me we haven't seen the last of foreshadowing.

  4. #4
    Clueless but well-meaning Hatshepsut's avatar
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    Default Re: Let's talk about the "C" word! And lappers! And waffles!

    That's positively cunt-errific, AllWalker.

  5. #5
    Elephant
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    Default Re: Let's talk about the "C" word! And lappers! And waffles!

    I would like to point out at this time that my custom title means "that cunt" in French--not that anybody's asked or anything. I was a little disappointed, figured someone would've gotten curious by now but noooooo... Anyway, I requested it specifically in honor of His Imperial Edness. Y'all are welcome, I'm sure!
    "And I hope I don't get born again, 'cuz one time was enough!" -- Mark Sandman

  6. #6
    Clueless but well-meaning Hatshepsut's avatar
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    Default Re: Let's talk about the "C" word! And lappers! And waffles!

    Is "conne" a bad word in French as it is in English?

  7. #7
    Stegodon Papaw's avatar
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    Default Re: Let's talk about the "C" word! And lappers! And waffles!

    My cuntintelligence has not been fully developed yet! I need more practice time. Given enough, I could become a rawcunteur, instead of a raconteur.
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  8. #8
    Elephant
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    Default Re: Let's talk about the "C" word! And lappers! And waffles!

    Quote Originally posted by CairoCarol
    Is "conne" a bad word in French as it is in English?
    It's not quite as rude, in my understanding, more like the British take on it. Sometimes "conne" is translated as "bitch," but that should more correctly be "salope." Not that I'm fluent in French or anything but one of these days I swear I'm going to learn it properly--hell, I HAVE the Rosetta Stone for it but I'm laaaaaaazy!

    Also on topic, I just love calling people "cuntbucket." Has a ring to it, don'tcha think?
    "And I hope I don't get born again, 'cuz one time was enough!" -- Mark Sandman

  9. #9
    Global Moderator AllWalker's avatar
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    Default Re: Let's talk about the "C" word! And lappers! And waffles!

    Quote Originally posted by Papaw
    My cuntintelligence has not been fully developed yet! I need more practice time. Given enough, I could become a rawcunteur, instead of a raconteur.
    And yet I see two hits for "cuntelligence".
    Something tells me we haven't seen the last of foreshadowing.

  10. #10
    Clueless but well-meaning Hatshepsut's avatar
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    Default Re: Let's talk about the "C" word! And lappers! And waffles!

    Quote Originally posted by SmartAleq
    Quote Originally posted by CairoCarol
    Is "conne" a bad word in French as it is in English?
    It's not quite as rude, in my understanding, more like the British take on it. Sometimes "conne" is translated as "bitch," but that should more correctly be "salope." Not that I'm fluent in French or anything but one of these days I swear I'm going to learn it properly--hell, I HAVE the Rosetta Stone for it but I'm laaaaaaazy!

    Also on topic, I just love calling people "cuntbucket." Has a ring to it, don'tcha think?
    I guess it depends on what cuntry you're in.

    I do like "cuntbucket."

  11. #11
    Elephant
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    Default Re: Let's talk about the "C" word! And lappers! And waffles!

    Quote Originally posted by SmartAleq
    Quote Originally posted by CairoCarol
    Is "conne" a bad word in French as it is in English?
    It's not quite as rude, in my understanding, more like the British take on it. Sometimes "conne" is translated as "bitch," but that should more correctly be "salope." Not that I'm fluent in French or anything but one of these days I swear I'm going to learn it properly--hell, I HAVE the Rosetta Stone for it but I'm laaaaaaazy!
    The great thing is that it can be adapted for either sex. "con" and "ducon" are frequently used as all-purpose equivalents for "asshole".

    I remember a great ad campaign a while back for educational TV in France that used this. The headline was "Éducons!" which would mean "let's get educated!" but when said out loud sounds like "Hey, Asshole!"
    No cage, thank you. I'm a human being.

  12. #12
    Oliphaunt Baldwin's avatar
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    Default Re: Let's talk about the "C" word! And lappers! And waffles!

    "Cuntgeyser" only produces one hit. How can that be?

    When I was still on SDMB, during all the mishigas, I told Ed, "You have added the word 'cuntlapper' to my vocabulary. Thanks to your obsession, I can no longer see your name without thinking the word 'cunt', nor see the word 'cunt' without thinking of you. This is your legacy."

    (Or something close to that.)

  13. #13
    Oliphaunt The Original An Gadaí's avatar
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    Default Re: Let's talk about the "C" word! And lappers! And waffles!

    Kuntztube.

  14. #14
    aka ivan the not-quite-as-terrible ivan astikov's avatar
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    Default Re: Let's talk about the "C" word! And lappers! And waffles!

    Cuntagious - 2630
    Cuntster - 956
    Cuntrary - 944
    Cuntacular - 561
    Cuntiguous - 103
    Cuntspicuous - 3
    To sleep, perchance to experience amygdalocortical activation and prefrontal deactivation.

  15. #15
    The Queen Zuul's avatar
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    Default Re: Let's talk about the "C" word! And lappers! And waffles!

    cuntophile - 241
    cuntophobe - 82
    cuntrocket - 521
    "my cuntry tis of thee" - 309
    cunthole - 131,000
    cuntdiddlydoo - did not match any documents.
    So now they are just dirt-covered English people in fur pelts with credit cards.

  16. #16
    Oliphaunt The Original An Gadaí's avatar
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    Default Re: Let's talk about the "C" word! And lappers! And waffles!

    cunterie - 1,160

  17. #17
    aka ivan the not-quite-as-terrible ivan astikov's avatar
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    Default Re: Let's talk about the "C" word! And lappers! And waffles!

    Quote Originally posted by Caerie
    cuntdiddlydoo - did not match any documents.
    I'm shocked, I tell ya!
    To sleep, perchance to experience amygdalocortical activation and prefrontal deactivation.

  18. #18
    Global Moderator AllWalker's avatar
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    Default Re: Let's talk about the "C" word! And lappers! And waffles!

    Cuntpocalypse - 9 hits, but only because "Cuntpocalyspe Now" is a porno title.

    No, on rereadin it has something to do with that Zac and Miri make a porno movie or something.
    Something tells me we haven't seen the last of foreshadowing.

  19. #19
    The Queen Zuul's avatar
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    Default Re: Let's talk about the "C" word! And lappers! And waffles!

    Now I shall try inserting cunt into titles of stories and see if anything comes up:

    The Cunt Stand - 3
    Interview with the Cunt Vampire - did not match any documents.
    Clan of the Cunt Cave Bear - did not match any documents.
    Flowers in the Cunt Attic - did not match any documents.
    The Cunt Odyssey - 2
    Star Cunt Wars - did not match any documents.

    The good news is that I found the perfect title for a short film on Ed Zotti:

    The Phantom Cunt Menace
    So now they are just dirt-covered English people in fur pelts with credit cards.

  20. #20
    Global Moderator AllWalker's avatar
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    Default Re: Let's talk about the "C" word! And lappers! And waffles!

    Quote Originally posted by Caerie
    The good news is that I found the perfect title for a short film on Ed Zotti:

    The Phantom Cunt Menace
    Meh, it'd still be better than the Prequel Trilogy.
    Something tells me we haven't seen the last of foreshadowing.

  21. #21
    Quixotic Elixir Guinastasia's avatar
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    Default Re: Let's talk about the "C" word! And lappers! And waffles!

    I was watching, oh, I think it was the History Channel, and one of the experts they had on was a guy with the last name Kuntz. I hope for his sake it was pronounced "koontz."
    "At Pottery Barn, if you knock over a lamp, you have to glue it back together, even if when you're done it looks terrible and it doesn't work. Oh, and you have to stay in the store forever. Oh, and it's an exploding lamp. "
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  22. #22
    Elephant
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    Default Re: Let's talk about the "C" word! And lappers! And waffles!

    We have an employee in China who's last name is Kunt.

  23. #23
    Oliphaunt
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    Default Re: Let's talk about the "C" word! And lappers! And waffles!

    Quote Originally posted by Guinastasia
    I was watching, oh, I think it was the History Channel, and one of the experts they had on was a guy with the last name Kuntz. I hope for his sake it was pronounced "koontz."
    If he's part of my extended family of Kuntzes, it is. "Koontz", that is. Then again, I think the name is about as common back in the old country as Smith is here, so I'm sure some of them pronounce it the Zotti way.
    Whatever became of the moment when one first knew about death? There must have been one. A moment. In childhood. When it first occurred to you that you don't go on forever. Must have been shattering. Stamped into one's memory. And yet, I can't remember it.

  24. #24
    The Queen Zuul's avatar
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    Default Re: Let's talk about the "C" word! And lappers! And waffles!

    Quote Originally posted by WhyNot
    Quote Originally posted by Guinastasia
    I was watching, oh, I think it was the History Channel, and one of the experts they had on was a guy with the last name Kuntz. I hope for his sake it was pronounced "koontz."
    If he's part of my extended family of Kuntzes, it is. "Koontz", that is. Then again, I think the name is about as common back in the old country as Smith is here, so I'm sure some of them pronounce it the Zotti way.
    They're just a big pack of Kuntz.
    So now they are just dirt-covered English people in fur pelts with credit cards.

  25. #25
    aka ivan the not-quite-as-terrible ivan astikov's avatar
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    Default Re: Let's talk about the "C" word! And lappers! And waffles!

    This seems to fit a certain Mr Z to a T.
    Cuntsnaffler

    A derivative of Cuntsnaffle. Someone who is clumsy, [del:1acy7069]stupid[/del:1acy7069], [del:1acy7069]chavvy[/del:1acy7069], likely to fuck up.

    To be used against an individual of dubious nature/personage.
    "I can't believe you did that, you fucking cuntsnaffler."
    courtesy of Urban Dictionary
    To sleep, perchance to experience amygdalocortical activation and prefrontal deactivation.

  26. #26
    Stegodon
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    Default Re: Let's talk about the "C" word! And lappers! And waffles!

    I thought it would be interesting to search for cunt phrases which would make "good" sense in a certain context. To that end, here is my effort:

    Dripping cunt - for 87,400 returns on Google
    Drooling cunt - for 3,680 returns
    Cunt drool - for 351 returns
    Sweet cunt nectar - for 136 returns
    Intoxicating cunt juice - for 0 returns (Win!)

    As a side note, if ever I was to write erotic fiction, it would be a good bet one or two of these phrases would appear in that composition.

  27. #27
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    Default Re: Let's talk about the "C" word! And lappers! And waffles!

    Quote Originally posted by Caerie
    Now I shall try inserting cunt into titles of stories and see if anything comes up:

    The Cunt Stand - 3
    Interview with the Cunt Vampire - did not match any documents.
    Clan of the Cunt Cave Bear - did not match any documents.
    Flowers in the Cunt Attic - did not match any documents.
    The Cunt Odyssey - 2
    Star Cunt Wars - did not match any documents.

    The good news is that I found the perfect title for a short film on Ed Zotti:

    The Phantom Cunt Menace
    You missed The Cunt Of Monte Cristo.

    Update: Which is apparently a real porn title. I'm in the wrong job.
    You taught me language; and my profit on't
    Is, I know how to curse: the red plague rid you
    For learning me your language!

    Caliban, from William Shakespeare'sThe Tempest {Act 1, Scene 2}

  28. #28
    aka ivan the not-quite-as-terrible ivan astikov's avatar
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    Default Re: Let's talk about the "C" word! And lappers! And waffles!

    How about a fairy tale angle?

    Jack And The Cuntstalk - zero exact hits, surprisingly.
    The Ugly Cuntling - none, alas!
    Cunterella - 289
    Snow White And The Seven Cunts - 150,000. Not bad!
    Beauty And The Cunt - 3,590,000. YAY! Now we're cooking on gas.
    To sleep, perchance to experience amygdalocortical activation and prefrontal deactivation.

  29. #29
    Oliphaunt
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    Default Re: Let's talk about the "C" word! And lappers! And waffles!

    Quote Originally posted by Scissorjack

    You missed The Cunt Of Monte Cristo.

    Update: Which is apparently a real porn title. I'm in the wrong job.
    I'm not looking it up, but I bet Cuntact is, too. Mmmm...alien contact porn!

    Cunt Dracula
    The Cunting Edge
    Cunting Loose
    Whatever became of the moment when one first knew about death? There must have been one. A moment. In childhood. When it first occurred to you that you don't go on forever. Must have been shattering. Stamped into one's memory. And yet, I can't remember it.

  30. #30
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    Default Re: Let's talk about the "C" word! And lappers! And waffles!

    Good Will Cunting.
    No Cuntry For Old Men
    To sleep, perchance to experience amygdalocortical activation and prefrontal deactivation.

  31. #31
    Stegodon Jaglavak's avatar
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    Default Re: Let's talk about the "C" word! And lappers! And waffles!

    .... oh, and do you guys have Happy Scrappy Hero Pups?

  32. #32
    aka ivan the not-quite-as-terrible ivan astikov's avatar
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    Default Re: Let's talk about the "C" word! And lappers! And waffles!

    Quote Originally posted by Jaglavak
    .... oh, and do you guys have Happy Scrappy Hero Pups?
    Have you tried next door?
    To sleep, perchance to experience amygdalocortical activation and prefrontal deactivation.

  33. #33
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    Default Re: Let's talk about the "C" word! And lappers! And waffles!

    Twat's Eating Gilbert Grape.
    You taught me language; and my profit on't
    Is, I know how to curse: the red plague rid you
    For learning me your language!

    Caliban, from William Shakespeare'sThe Tempest {Act 1, Scene 2}

  34. #34
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    Default Re: Let's talk about the "C" word! And lappers! And waffles!

    "Numbcunt" has always been one of my favorites.

    348 google hits for it, too.
    Insert witty remark here.

  35. #35
    For whom nothing is written. Oliveloaf's avatar
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    Default Re: Let's talk about the "C" word! And lappers! And waffles!

    There's nothing that can't be improved by adding -0-Riffic!
    "I won't kill for money, and I won't marry for it. Other than that, I'm open to just about anything."

    -Jim Rockford

  36. #36
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    Default Re: Let's talk about the "C" word! And lappers! And waffles!

    I was always fond of cuntstruck, which is so damn descriptive. The linked page, though, has all your cunt needs. To the cuntwarren, Robin!
    You taught me language; and my profit on't
    Is, I know how to curse: the red plague rid you
    For learning me your language!

    Caliban, from William Shakespeare'sThe Tempest {Act 1, Scene 2}

  37. #37
    Stegodon
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    Default Re: Let's talk about the "C" word! And lappers! And waffles!

    1310 hits for my fave: cuntnugget...

    Which do you think is worse: cuntbucket or bucketcunt?
    "We don't need to all lose glitter privileges because one kid makes a sparkly penis on the carpeting." - Excalibur

  38. #38
    Global Moderator AllWalker's avatar
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    Default Re: Let's talk about the "C" word! And lappers! And waffles!

    Quote Originally posted by Butterscotch
    1310 hits for my fave: cuntnugget...

    Which do you think is worse: cuntbucket or bucketcunt?
    Cuntbucket is a more effective term, as it rolls off the tongue better.
    Something tells me we haven't seen the last of foreshadowing.

  39. #39
    aka ivan the not-quite-as-terrible ivan astikov's avatar
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    Default Re: Let's talk about the "C" word! And lappers! And waffles!

    Cuntsauce is better, although it oozes, rather than rolls off the tongue.
    To sleep, perchance to experience amygdalocortical activation and prefrontal deactivation.

  40. #40
    Free Exy Cluricaun's avatar
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    Default Re: Let's talk about the "C" word! And lappers! And waffles!

    Quote Originally posted by Scissorjack

    You missed The Cunt Of Monte Cristo.

    Update: Which is apparently a real porn title. I'm in the wrong job.
    Which I actually own on VHS. No lie.
    Hell, if I didn't do things just because they made me feel a bit ridiculous, I wouldn't have much of a social life. - Santo Rugger.

  41. #41
    Stegodon
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    Default Re: Let's talk about the "C" word! And lappers! And waffles!

    Scunthorpe.

    I win.
    Anything is possible if you use enough lubricant.

  42. #42
    Elephant
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    Default Re: Let's talk about the "C" word! And lappers! And waffles!

    My ex-girlfriend had a friend of a friend named Consuela that she couldn't stand, so she always referred to her as "Cuntsuela." Depending on how you pronounce Consuela, it's a subtle enough change that people don't notice, but I would always hear that hint of a 't' in there and had a hard time keeping a straight face.

  43. #43
    For whom nothing is written. Oliveloaf's avatar
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    Default Re: Let's talk about the "C" word! And lappers! And waffles!

    I believe this is why there is now an istanbul.
    "I won't kill for money, and I won't marry for it. Other than that, I'm open to just about anything."

    -Jim Rockford

  44. #44
    Elephant
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    Default Re: Let's talk about the "C" word! And lappers! And waffles!

    Cunt, cunt, Cunt of the Jungle
    strong as she can be
    Ahh-Eee-Ahh-Eee-Ahh-Eee-Ahh
    Watch out for Ed Zeeeee!
    Opportunity is missed by most people, because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work. Thomas Edison

  45. #45
    Elephant
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    Default Re: Let's talk about the "C" word! And lappers! And waffles!

    While driving I sometimes come out with some odd ones for people that cut in front of me..

    "Son of a cunt-whore" is one that I put together on impulse when an old lady blew through a stop sign and almost hit me yesterday.. I laughed after thinking about what I'd said (and in the relief of realizing that I wasn't going to get hit by several feet).

    oh, and on edit, "cunt-turd" is one I've heard often for a description of a child who's parent is overly "my child is perfect, the world must bow to them, you wouldn't believe what my kid did today, everyday I tell you a story like this, but you wouldn't believe it, I'm going to be late for work so you're going to have to cover for an hour because I'm bringing little Jimmy to a friend's house, but he's so cute.." not so much as an insult to the child, per se, but more so meaning "I don't care about your cunt turd, stop talking about it constantly and let me do my job."

    Not that I've said that, just thought it. I generally wander away from such people and their boxes of candy/popcorn/cookies/pizza kit forms they're selling for the brat's 4H, school, etc.. while the kid is at home stuffing its face with Cheetos and watching Spongebob.

  46. #46
    Stegodon
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    Default Re: Let's talk about the "C" word! And lappers! And waffles!

    Quote Originally posted by danceswithcats
    Cunt, cunt, Cunt of the Jungle
    strong as she can be
    Ahh-Eee-Ahh-Eee-Ahh-Eee-Ahh
    Watch out for Ed Zeeeee!
    This is why people make fun of us.

    This is not funny or clever or witty. It is just dumb. Please stop.

    Thank you.
    I didn't make the world this way, it was like this when I got here

  47. #47
    Clueless but well-meaning Hatshepsut's avatar
    Registered
    Mar 2009
    Location
    Indonesia
    Posts
    2,832

    Default Re: Let's talk about the "C" word! And lappers! And waffles!

    Quote Originally posted by leander
    This is why people make fun of us.
    I don't give a flying cunt if other people make fun of me, domebo, or anything else I participate in. Mockers are welcome to mock if it pleases them; it's been a long time since 6th grade, when I actually got butthurt over the opinions of strangers.

    danceswithcats, please make any jokes you like in this thread.

  48. #48
    Oliphaunt featherlou's avatar
    Registered
    Feb 2009
    Posts
    3,209

    Default Re: Let's talk about the "C" word! And lappers! And waffles!

    I liked it.

  49. #49
    aka ivan the not-quite-as-terrible ivan astikov's avatar
    Registered
    Feb 2009
    Location
    moston, UK.
    Posts
    4,756

    Default Re: Let's talk about the "C" word! And lappers! And waffles!

    Yeah leander, go sit on a sharpened stake, you grumpy bastard!
    To sleep, perchance to experience amygdalocortical activation and prefrontal deactivation.

  50. #50
    Oliphaunt
    Registered
    Feb 2009
    Location
    Baltimore
    Posts
    1,048

    Default Re: Let's talk about the "C" word! And lappers! And waffles!

    Quote Originally posted by leander
    Quote Originally posted by danceswithcats
    Cunt, cunt, Cunt of the Jungle
    strong as she can be
    Ahh-Eee-Ahh-Eee-Ahh-Eee-Ahh
    Watch out for Ed Zeeeee!
    This is why people make fun of us.

    This is not funny or clever or witty. It is just dumb. Please stop.

    Thank you.
    Oh, c'mon. It was a little funny.
    I'm not good at the advice. Can I offer you a sarcastic comment instead?

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