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Thread: I am drunk: also I am better than you

  1. #1
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    Default I am drunk: also I am better than you

    My fingers have been loosened by cheap off-brand vodka and I am now quite willing to inform you guys that I am so awesome it amazes even me, despite my own jadedness.

  2. #2
    Elephant
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    Default Re: I am drunk: also I am better than you

    There's probably a very surprised look on the face of the unicorn on the left. Minding his own business, out in the field...
    I reserve the right to be bothered by things that don't faze you,
    and to cheerfully ignore things that bug the shit out of you.
    I am not you.

  3. #3
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    Default Re: I am drunk: also I am better than you

    You know those stupid videos of random anime images set to popular songs on youtube? I masturbate to them.

  4. #4
    Elephant Claptree's avatar
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    Default Re: I am drunk: also I am better than you

    You know what? You really are a better man than I; I would never have confessed to that.

  5. #5
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    Default Re: I am drunk: also I am better than you

    I once shot a man in the outskirts of Carson City just to watch him die, but his life was saved through emergency surgery.

  6. #6
    Elephant
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    Default Re: I am drunk: also I am better than you

    Given your other thread, I would have expected the Dave Foley bit.

    I once shot a man, just to watch him die.
    Then I got distracted and missed it.
    Oh, I asked my friends to describe it to me, but it wasn't the same.
    I reserve the right to be bothered by things that don't faze you,
    and to cheerfully ignore things that bug the shit out of you.
    I am not you.

  7. #7
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    Default Re: I am drunk: also I am better than you

    I fought the law and the law won...
    There are times to retreat from danger and times it must be faced head on. If you choose to face it-go boldly. Remember that no matter how strong your enemy might be, you too have power

  8. #8
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    Default Re: I am drunk: also I am better than you

    My semen makes an excellent silver polish.

  9. #9
    Quixotic Elixir Guinastasia's avatar
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    Default Re: I am drunk: also I am better than you

    Do you have a monkey butler?
    "At Pottery Barn, if you knock over a lamp, you have to glue it back together, even if when you're done it looks terrible and it doesn't work. Oh, and you have to stay in the store forever. Oh, and it's an exploding lamp. "
    -Stephen Colbert

  10. #10
    Resident Troublemaker beebs's avatar
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    Default Re: I am drunk: also I am better than you

    A better question: have you ever fucked a re-tard?

  11. #11
    Oliphaunt
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    Default Re: I am drunk: also I am better than you

    Ha! Drunk? That's nothing. i'm on pain killers, tranquilizers, and sedatives. My typing is on autopilot.

  12. #12
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    Default Re: I am drunk: also I am better than you

    I am woman, hear me roar in numbers too big to ignore.

  13. #13
    Elephant
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    Default Re: I am drunk: also I am better than you

    There's a party in my mind
    And I hope it never stops
    There's a party up there all the time
    Let's party till we drop
    I reserve the right to be bothered by things that don't faze you,
    and to cheerfully ignore things that bug the shit out of you.
    I am not you.

  14. #14
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    Default Re: I am drunk: also I am better than you


  15. #15
    Elephant
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    Default Re: I am drunk: also I am better than you

    hahah.. Oh God, Excalibur, I'm going to have nightmares for that last image.. Not right.. Not right at all.

  16. #16
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    Default Re: I am drunk: also I am better than you

    Quote Originally posted by Clayton_e
    hahah.. Oh God, Excalibur, I'm going to have nightmares for that last image.. Not right.. Not right at all.
    Fuck you, you terrible whore.

  17. #17
    Stegodon
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    Default Re: I am drunk: also I am better than you

    Quote Originally posted by Excalibur
    Quote Originally posted by Clayton_e
    hahah.. Oh God, Excalibur, I'm going to have nightmares for that last image.. Not right.. Not right at all.
    Fuck you, you terrible whore.
    That statement is overly ambiguous.
    This is the most beautiful place on Earth; there are many such places.

  18. #18
    Elephant
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    Default Re: I am drunk: also I am better than you

    I haven't felt like this since....Funkytown!
    Opportunity is missed by most people, because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work. Thomas Edison

  19. #19
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    Default Re: I am drunk: also I am better than you

    I am pure Rape Lincoln from now on. someone please change my username.

    I am drunk.

  20. #20
    I've had better days, but I don't care! hatesfreedom's avatar
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    Default Re: I am drunk: also I am better than you

    I traveled back in time and found Lincoln to be exactly as depicted in snuff films.

  21. #21
    Elephant
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    Default Re: I am drunk: also I am better than you

    Quote Originally posted by Excalibur
    Quote Originally posted by Clayton_e
    hahah.. Oh God, Excalibur, I'm going to have nightmares for that last image.. Not right.. Not right at all.
    Fuck you, you terrible whore.
    I miss read this as "Fuck you, you turtle whore."

    I was sitting here trying to figure out where you came up with that phrase. Turns out it was my psyche's own creation.
    "Dude, your statistical average, which was already in the toilet, just took a plunge into the Earth's mantle." ~ iampunha

  22. #22
    The Queen Zuul's avatar
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    Default Re: I am drunk: also I am better than you

    Oh my God. Brilliant.
    So now they are just dirt-covered English people in fur pelts with credit cards.

  23. #23
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    Default Re: I am drunk: also I am better than you

    So: I see no contradiction to the obvious fact that I am a million times better than you guys.

    I expect more gratefulness from now on. I am gracing you guys with my presence. Please show adequate respect.

  24. #24
    Stegodon
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    Default Re: I am drunk: also I am better than you

    Make me.
    Wow, WhyNot, you're brilliant! Especially on Thursdays!

  25. #25
    Oliphaunt featherlou's avatar
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    Default Re: I am drunk: also I am better than you

    Quote Originally posted by RoOsh
    Quote Originally posted by Excalibur
    Quote Originally posted by Clayton_e
    hahah.. Oh God, Excalibur, I'm going to have nightmares for that last image.. Not right.. Not right at all.
    Fuck you, you terrible whore.
    I miss read this as "Fuck you, you turtle whore."<snip>
    I'm not much for the swears, but I think I might have to use that.

    And Excalibur really is drunk if he thinks he's more magnicifent than I am.

  26. #26
    no do gets SeeOhTwo's avatar
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    Default Re: I am drunk: also I am better than you

    Posting drunk is against the rules. Knock it off. Don't do this again.

    Your sobriety privileges are currently under discussion by the imbibation team.

  27. #27
    Resident Troublemaker beebs's avatar
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    Default Re: I am drunk: also I am better than you

    Imbibibi, imbed, imb, immmmmbibbo...

    huh?

    Your words are hard.

  28. #28
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    Default Re: I am drunk: also I am better than you

    I can't be the only one that thinks Excalibur is pathetic now, can i?

    J

  29. #29
    Stegodon
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    Default Re: I am drunk: also I am better than you

    I worship the water that Excaliber walks across.

    Also I've long had masturbation fantasies about a threesome with Marge Simpson and Lois Griffen,but people look at me as though I were mad when I tell them the fucking weirdos.[]
    Thirty minutes of Googling not only doesn't make you an expert in a subject,it doesn't even make you right.Real life experience and education will win out every single time

  30. #30
    Stegodon
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    Default Re: I am drunk: also I am better than you

    Well, I'm getting drunk, though I doubt I'll be as lucid as friend Exy. But I'll try.

    Today, here in Australia, is ANZAC Day. That's similar to Veterans' Day in the US, but for both Aussies and Kiwis. It's a pretty big deal (as it should be) where we honour all our vets, especially those in WWII and WWI (and in particular Gallipoli). At least that's how this Yank sees it. It started just for the WWI vets, but it seems to have spread to encompass all the vets in service, which I think is a good thing.

    It's a very nice holiday with lots of parades and church services. My boy is too young to understand but I still made him sit through it.

    I never served -- I was fortunately of the age where I did not have to. But I have a great deal of respect for anyone who takes on the responsibility for whatever reasons they choose. There are certainly dumb wars, but that's not the soldiers fault -- and in AU and NZ and US and lots of other places they do an amazing job, and I admire them for it. I admire their courage.

    So here's to all the men and women who sacrificed to make this country, and all the western countries, free. Free hearts, free foreheads... one equal temper of heroic hearts...you deserve our best respect.

    PS -- Exy, you are one bad nonny!
    I didn't make the world this way, it was like this when I got here

  31. #31
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    Default Re: I am drunk: also I am better than you

    What i hate about Anzac Day is that leading up to it there are always stories on Today Tonight and A Current Affair complaining about how some Anzac vet didn't get his way somehow leading up to Anzac Day.

    "They've made their march on this street in this small country town every year. But then the evil Mayor comes along and realises that legally they need insurance to do this, they can't pay, so they can't march!"
    "This digger just wants to fly his Australian flag, but local laws say it's too big!"
    "This returning soldier parked in a no parking zone and got a ticket! THE DAY BEFORE ANZAC DAY!"

    J

  32. #32
    Stegodon
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    Default Re: I am drunk: also I am better than you

    Quote Originally posted by The J Word
    What i hate about Anzac Day is that leading up to it there are always stories on Today Tonight and A Current Affair complaining about how some Anzac vet didn't get his way somehow leading up to Anzac Day.

    "They've made their march on this street in this small country town every year. But then the evil Mayor comes along and realises that legally they need insurance to do this, they can't pay, so they can't march!"
    "This digger just wants to fly his Australian flag, but local laws say it's too big!"
    "This returning soldier parked in a no parking zone and got a ticket! THE DAY BEFORE ANZAC DAY!"

    J
    Agreed. But that's because TT and ACA are both sleazy tabloid 'journos' with no respectability who just want ratings. Every day they have a sensationalist headline -- why should Anzac be any different??
    I didn't make the world this way, it was like this when I got here

  33. #33
    aka ivan the not-quite-as-terrible ivan astikov's avatar
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    Default Re: I am drunk: also I am better than you

    I'm sure most of us - well, some at least! - know what it's like to be the only sober member of a party of drunks, or even the only straighthead among a group of trippers, and know how excluded one can feel as a result, so I think we should all arrange to be drunk at the same time.

    Come on, let's pretend it's an important social experiment!
    To sleep, perchance to experience amygdalocortical activation and prefrontal deactivation.

  34. #34
    Stegodon
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    Default Re: I am drunk: also I am better than you

    Quote Originally posted by ivan astikov
    I'm sure most of us - well, some at least! - know what it's like to be the only sober member of a party of drunks, or even the only straighthead among a group of trippers, and know how excluded one can feel as a result, so I think we should all arrange to be drunk at the same time.

    Come on, let's pretend it's an important social experiment!
    I really don't want you to feel left out. What can I do to be your chief enabler?
    I didn't make the world this way, it was like this when I got here

  35. #35
    Clueless but well-meaning Hatshepsut's avatar
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    Default Re: I am drunk: also I am better than you

    This seems like a good place to try out an embryonic domebo meme:

    St. Fulc*

    *Shut the fuck up, leave cake

  36. #36
    Stegodon
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    Default Re: I am drunk: also I am better than you

    Seems like the Patron Saint of Sulfuric Acid.
    I didn't make the world this way, it was like this when I got here

  37. #37
    aka ivan the not-quite-as-terrible ivan astikov's avatar
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    Default Re: I am drunk: also I am better than you

    Are you criticizing CC's baking skills?
    To sleep, perchance to experience amygdalocortical activation and prefrontal deactivation.

  38. #38
    I've had better days, but I don't care! hatesfreedom's avatar
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    Default Re: I am drunk: also I am better than you

    Quote Originally posted by CairoCarol
    This seems like a good place to try out an embryonic domebo meme:
    No... no it's really not a good place. Please stop posting.

  39. #39
    aka ivan the not-quite-as-terrible ivan astikov's avatar
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    Default Re: I am drunk: also I am better than you

    Quote Originally posted by hatesfreedom
    Quote Originally posted by CairoCarol
    This seems like a good place to try out an embryonic domebo meme:
    No... no it's really not a good place. Please stop posting.
    Oi, you ferret-featured fucker, that's my unborn meme you are summarily dismissing. Just watch it!
    To sleep, perchance to experience amygdalocortical activation and prefrontal deactivation.

  40. #40
    Resident Troublemaker beebs's avatar
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    Default Re: I am drunk: also I am better than you

    Allieration memes are so 2003.

  41. #41
    aka ivan the not-quite-as-terrible ivan astikov's avatar
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    Default Re: I am drunk: also I am better than you

    Quote Originally posted by beebs
    Allieration memes are so 2003.
    All retro becomes fashionable at some point! This might be my time?
    To sleep, perchance to experience amygdalocortical activation and prefrontal deactivation.

  42. #42
    Stegodon
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    Default Re: I am drunk: also I am better than you

    Quote Originally posted by ivan astikov
    , so I think we should all arrange to be drunk at the same time.

    Come on, let's pretend it's an important social experiment!
    You may have posted that lightheartedly but that sounds like a bloody good idea.
    I'm totally up for it but I'll need a few days notice.
    Thirty minutes of Googling not only doesn't make you an expert in a subject,it doesn't even make you right.Real life experience and education will win out every single time

  43. #43
    aka ivan the not-quite-as-terrible ivan astikov's avatar
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    Default Re: I am drunk: also I am better than you

    Quote Originally posted by lust4life
    Quote Originally posted by ivan astikov
    , so I think we should all arrange to be drunk at the same time.

    Come on, let's pretend it's an important social experiment!
    You may have posted that lightheartedly but that sounds like a bloody good idea.
    I'm totally up for it but I'll need a few days notice.
    Right, I'm gonna get a 2 litre bottle of cider and stick it in the fridge in readiness. Gawd help ya!
    To sleep, perchance to experience amygdalocortical activation and prefrontal deactivation.

  44. #44
    Elephant
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    Default Re: I am drunk: also I am better than you

    No, I'm drunk!

    Oh, wait, that's Spartacus.
    No cage, thank you. I'm a human being.

  45. #45
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    Default Re: I am drunk: also I am better than you

    Quote Originally posted by CairoCarol
    This seems like a good place to try out an embryonic domebo meme:

    St. Fulc*

    *Shut the fuck up, leave cake
    I am now much too hungover to pretend to find this funny.

  46. #46
    Oliphaunt featherlou's avatar
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    Default Re: I am drunk: also I am better than you

    Excalibur's hungover -
    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!~!!!!!11!!!12!!!!1111

    Aw, poor baby. You need a huge, greasy breakfast to fix you right up.

  47. #47
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    Default Re: I am drunk: also I am better than you

    Why is this thread even here? Does Excalibur not have a blog?

    J

  48. #48
    For whom nothing is written. Oliveloaf's avatar
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    Default Re: I am drunk: also I am better than you

    Quote Originally posted by The J Word
    Why is this thread even here? Does Excalibur not have a blog?

    J
    He saves his blog for rants about Hollywood Jews.
    "I won't kill for money, and I won't marry for it. Other than that, I'm open to just about anything."

    -Jim Rockford

  49. #49
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    Default Re: I am drunk: also I am better than you

    Quote Originally posted by Oliveloaf
    Quote Originally posted by The J Word
    Why is this thread even here? Does Excalibur not have a blog?

    J
    He saves his blog for rants about Hollywood Jews.
    Nice.
    But i didn't rant.
    If you have a view on the topic please post it in the relevant thread.

    Unless you think "Jew" and "Hollywood" can't be mentioned int he same thread without offense intended? Fool.

    J

  50. #50
    For whom nothing is written. Oliveloaf's avatar
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    Default Re: I am drunk: also I am better than you

    Quote Originally posted by Excalibur
    My semen makes an excellent silver polish.
    Ear wax makes outstanding lip balm.

    (I read this in some Boy Scout field guide.)
    "I won't kill for money, and I won't marry for it. Other than that, I'm open to just about anything."

    -Jim Rockford

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