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Thread: "The Haunting" (1999), or: When Production Designers Go Nuts

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    Elephant terrifel's avatar
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    Default "The Haunting" (1999), or: When Production Designers Go Nuts

    Strangely enough, I recently watched Jan de Bont's remake of The Haunting a second time. For those unfamiliar with the film, it is extremely frightening, provided that the viewer has a catastrophic phobia of computer pixels. Liam Neeson plays the role of a man being paid an actor's salary to stand around looking mildly annoyed. Even today, scientists are unable to explain how a movie could feature Catherine Zeta-Jones as an aggressive lesbian in a leather skirt yet not be sexy in any way.

    Anyhow. The first time I saw this film, I made the mistake of paying attention to the actors, which is impossible, because everyone in the movie maintains a perfect Keanu Reeves-like state of screen absence at all times, until eventually the viewer's eye is physically unable to perceive them at all. At no point whatsoever does the movie divert from the goal of its single overarching theme: a loosely connected series of emotionally inert tableaux in which actors are positioned in relationship to bits of reflective tape on a green screen. Do not attempt to discern any plot or characters while watching this film, for there are none, and you may hurt yourself trying. Pay no attention when the actor-shaped human objects make noise with their flapping face parts: there is no dialogue, merely an attempt to distract you. Don't fall for it!

    No, the interesting thing about The Haunting is the production design, which has been realized according to the set of aesthetic principles that I like to call "Super Goofy." This is one of those movies where the designers were simply allowed to go crazy. My guess is that Jan de Bont showed up at the first design meeting with a catalog of those black cast-resin gargoyle bookends they sell at the mall, and told the set designers: “I envision a house made of nothing but these things.” Then he gave them a check for 80 million dollars and a briefcase full of cocaine.

    And so the designers went absolutely apeshit over everything. Pretty much every set in The Haunting is a feast of “what the hell am I even looking at?” It seems apparent that, at first, they were attempting to synthesize the definitive cinematic haunted house; but they ultimately failed at that goal, because they just couldn’t control themselves. Architectural stereotypes are piled all over each other, then covered in spiky protrusions and black resin gargoyles. A colossal bronze door, covered with bas-relief skeletons, goes nowhere in particular. A corridor is designed as a shallow pond that has to be navigated by walking on books (?). There is a mirror maze and a rotating carnival room that plays that evil tootling calliope music. Each room has at least one collection of elements arranged into a cartoon frowny face. Every now and then Jan de Bont would cruise by the set, and the designers would ask him, “What do you think?” And he’d reply with expansive pantomime gestures of even greater excess. “Is there still money left? Then why are you standing around? I see a spot that isn’t covered in gargoyles!”

    Reviews of The Haunting singled out the set design as the one successful element of the film, which is half-right. It's not really successful, inasmuch as it doesn't actually end up creating atmosphere or make the movie scary. In fairness, it was probably a doomed effort to begin with, because it was all destined to be filmed in Technically-Competent-O-Vision, lit like a furniture warehouse so as not to complicate the job of the CG technicians later on. But it remains far and away the most engaging element of the film, and it makes me wish there were a way to view it without all the actors in the way. Surely there must be pictures of this stuff in trade journals somewhere? Did they ever produce a glossy “Making of The Haunting”photo book? Do the designers keep a portfolio of images in their online resumes? Or do they prefer not to think about it? Do they even remember it to begin with?

    I for one appreciate your work, crazy production designers. I envy your world of artistic excess and temptation. You know that the same forces which provide the largest budget and freedom for your work also tend to ensure that the actual end product will never live up to it. You strive to create entire universes of drama and spectacle, even if that particular universe turns out to be Judge Dredd or Van Helsing. Here’s to the ludicrously, gloriously overwrought visions that you create. Keep going nuts.

  2. #2
    Porno Dealing Monster pepperlandgirl's avatar
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    Default Re: "The Haunting" (1999), or: When Production Designers Go Nuts

    Interesting. $80 Million and a case full of cocaine is pretty similar to my theory of how the set design for Thir13en Ghosts happened.
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    Oliphaunt Rube E. Tewesday's avatar
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    Default Re: "The Haunting" (1999), or: When Production Designers Go Nuts

    Quote Originally posted by terrifel
    Even today, scientists are unable to explain how a movie could feature Catherine Zeta-Jones as an aggressive lesbian in a leather skirt yet not be sexy in any way.

    Brillian as this review was in every way, this is the line that stands out for me.

    Until I read this, I had totally forgotten that I had seen this movie, and I love horror movies, and I especially love horror movies with lipstick lesbians.

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    Default Re: "The Haunting" (1999), or: When Production Designers Go Nuts

    "A van load of cash and a briefcase full of cocaine" pretty much explains more than 90% of all movies ever made.
    I reserve the right to be bothered by things that don't faze you,
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    Oliphaunt Rube E. Tewesday's avatar
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    Default Re: "The Haunting" (1999), or: When Production Designers Go Nuts

    Nah, I've watched plenty of movies that could be pretty much explained by "The producer's unemployment cheque and 10 bucks worth of tequila".

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    Porno Dealing Monster pepperlandgirl's avatar
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    Default Re: "The Haunting" (1999), or: When Production Designers Go Nuts

    Which perfectly explains Hobgoblins.
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    Elephant terrifel's avatar
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    Default Re: "The Haunting" (1999), or: When Production Designers Go Nuts

    Quote Originally posted by pepperlandgirl
    Interesting. $80 Million and a case full of cocaine is pretty similar to my theory of how the set design for Thir13en Ghosts happened.
    Keen! I haven't seen it yet, though the trailer on YouTube looks promisingly goofy. I have vaguely fond memories of watching the William Castle original on the Channel 44 Saturday Creature Feature (hosted by Dr. Paul Bearer). Actually, to tell the truth all I really recall about it is that one of the ghosts was a lion, and another was a sort of spinning kaleidoscope thing. I do remember being perplexed by the novel concept of a ghost lion, and wondering why more animals don't come back as vengeful spirits.

    A quick search reveals that the remake was produced by "Dark Castle Entertainment," an outfit apparently dedicated to re-imagining all the classic William Castle crapfests for a new audience-- a goal so idiotic that I am compelled to endorse it wholeheartedly. In fact I think there should be a lavish traveling theatrical troupe visiting all major cities to perform "William Castle in the Park." People would have to sign medical releases against bee stings. Then a hidden gadget would dump artificial bees on the audience during the performance. Stuff like that.

    I note that Dark Castle Entertainment also produced Ghost Ship (2002), another paint-by-numbers horror movie featuring unreasonably compelling production design. Granted, all they had to do was create a rusted-out ocean liner, but they did a damn good job of it in my opinion.

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    Oliphaunt Rube E. Tewesday's avatar
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    Default Re: "The Haunting" (1999), or: When Production Designers Go Nuts

    Quote Originally posted by terrifel
    I note that Dark Castle Entertainment also produced Ghost Ship (2002), another paint-by-numbers horror movie featuring unreasonably compelling production design. Granted, all they had to do was create a rusted-out ocean liner, but they did a damn good job of it in my opinion.
    Yeah, that was a good lookin' movie. Stupid even by the standards of the genre, but good lookin'

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    Elephant terrifel's avatar
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    Default Re: "The Haunting" (1999), or: When Production Designers Go Nuts

    Quote Originally posted by Rube E. Tewesday
    Yeah, that was a good lookin' movie. Stupid even by the standards of the genre, but good lookin'
    What bugs me is that it almost wasn't stupid. It was this close to being a genuinely interesting AND good-looking horror movie. I thought the setup was intriguing, but then it all just fell apart. They presented a carefully constructed mystery scenario which never really went anywhere. The supernatural elements didn't seem to have any clear rhyme or reason behind them either, although it seems like they were supposed to.

    I get the feeling that maybe the original shooting script pulled all the loose threads together and accounted for everything in a way that made sense; but since those mystery-solving scenes didn't have any big special effects in them, they were edited out later to reduce the running time.

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    Default Re: "The Haunting" (1999), or: When Production Designers Go Nuts

    Quote Originally posted by terrifel
    Quote Originally posted by pepperlandgirl
    Interesting. $80 Million and a case full of cocaine is pretty similar to my theory of how the set design for Thir13en Ghosts happened.
    Keen! I haven't seen it yet, though the trailer on YouTube looks promisingly goofy. I have vaguely fond memories of watching the William Castle original on the Channel 44 Saturday Creature Feature (hosted by Dr. Paul Bearer). Actually, to tell the truth all I really recall about it is that one of the ghosts was a lion, and another was a sort of spinning kaleidoscope thing. I do remember being perplexed by the novel concept of a ghost lion, and wondering why more animals don't come back as vengeful spirits.
    Thir13en Ghosts is good for a lazy weekend afternoon, but don't expect much from it. It has some great-looking monsters and some interesting concepts (like a ghost version of PETA that thinks its inhumane to trap spirits), but runs out of steam by the halfway point.
    No cage, thank you. I'm a human being.

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    Oliphaunt Rube E. Tewesday's avatar
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    Default Re: "The Haunting" (1999), or: When Production Designers Go Nuts

    Quote Originally posted by terrifel
    Quote Originally posted by Rube E. Tewesday
    Yeah, that was a good lookin' movie. Stupid even by the standards of the genre, but good lookin'
    What bugs me is that it almost wasn't stupid. It was this close to being a genuinely interesting AND good-looking horror movie. I thought the setup was intriguing, but then it all just fell apart. They presented a carefully constructed mystery scenario which never really went anywhere. The supernatural elements didn't seem to have any clear rhyme or reason behind them either, although it seems like they were supposed to.

    I get the feeling that maybe the original shooting script pulled all the loose threads together and accounted for everything in a way that made sense; but since those mystery-solving scenes didn't have any big special effects in them, they were edited out later to reduce the running time.
    That's the explanation for a lot of things in movies that don't make any sense, and I'm prepared to believe it here. It looked like it should be good, but wasn't.

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    Default Re: "The Haunting" (1999), or: When Production Designers Go Nuts

    Quote Originally posted by Chimera
    "A van load of cash and a briefcase full of cocaine" pretty much explains more than 90% of all movies ever made.
    I wish. These days, I can't help feeling it's more along the lines of a meeting room full of market analysts and briefcases filled with product placement deals.

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    my god, he's full of stars... OneCentStamp's avatar
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    Default Re: "The Haunting" (1999), or: When Production Designers Go Nuts

    The Haunting's sets look like the result of H.R. Giger taking a not-particularly-inspired dump.
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    Elephant terrifel's avatar
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    Default Re: "The Haunting" (1999), or: When Production Designers Go Nuts

    Quote Originally posted by OneCentStamp
    The Haunting's sets look like the result of H.R. Giger taking a not-particularly-inspired dump.
    Surely not! There are no penises.


    Giger has that whole organic bondage thing going on. I don't really see many points of comparison with The Haunting other than the superficial: dark and fussy.

    Well, that and the larger issue that The Haunting(1999) is basically what you get when you use Babelfish to translate The Haunting (1963) into Alien and then back again.

    Which reminds me of yet another Gigeriffic bastard child of incomprehensibly baroque set design: the nearly-watchable Event Horizon. Though I have my doubts that faster-than-light space travel will ever be accomplished, one thing I'm fairly certain of is that any such technology probably won't look like a carnival ride from Disney World's Inquisitionland. To tell the truth, I was actually kind of taken by the Rotating Globe O' Death model warp drive. For some reason, it was the Jeffries tube made of Intellivision circuit boards that finally pushed it all over the top for me.

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    Default Re: "The Haunting" (1999), or: When Production Designers Go Nuts

    I'm going to make a point of seeing The Haunting now just to see the set design and CZJ as a lesbian in a short skirt.
    Who gives a damn about the story.
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    my god, he's full of stars... OneCentStamp's avatar
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    Default Re: "The Haunting" (1999), or: When Production Designers Go Nuts

    Quote Originally posted by terrifel
    Which reminds me of yet another Gigeriffic bastard child of incomprehensibly baroque set design: the nearly-watchable Event Horizon. Though I have my doubts that faster-than-light space travel will ever be accomplished, one thing I'm fairly certain of is that any such technology probably won't look like a carnival ride from Disney World's Inquisitionland. To tell the truth, I was actually kind of taken by the Rotating Globe O' Death model warp drive. For some reason, it was the Jeffries tube made of Intellivision circuit boards that finally pushed it all over the top for me.
    Well, you can be certain that when FTL travel is finally accomplished, we will all be EEEEEEEEEE-VILLLLLLLL when we get back.

    I saw that movie at a midnight test screening (my friend managed a theater). Five people all alone in a huge theater at midnight. It scared the shit out of me until the next morning, when I started actually thinking about it.

    That movie was Alien and Hellraiser getting drunk on cheap tequila and making a baby.
    "You laugh at me because I'm different; I laugh at you because I'm on nitrous."

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    Elephant terrifel's avatar
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    Default Re: "The Haunting" (1999), or: When Production Designers Go Nuts

    Quote Originally posted by OneCentStamp
    That movie was Alien and Hellraiser getting drunk on cheap tequila and making a baby.
    I know! How can anyone not love a movie like that? (Actually I think you may have just quoted the filmmakers' complete pitch to the studio.)

    As doofusy as the script inevitably was, I must say that it was in no way helped by featuring Sam Neill in a prominent role. The man may be a wonderful human being, but as an actor he is the charismatic equivalent of a dial tone.

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    Stegodon
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    Default Re: "The Haunting" (1999), or: When Production Designers Go Nuts

    Event Horizon was good, even quite promising, until probably halfway through. Certainly somewhere before Neill got the god-awful "I just watched Hellraiser and figured out where the plot should go from here" makeup job. Then it took a left turn into WTF-land.

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    Stegodon
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    Default Re: "The Haunting" (1999), or: When Production Designers Go Nuts

    The Haunting freaked me out. Wait, let me explain. I first saw the movie about three years ago when I was doing a study-abroad class in the UK. We stayed in Harlaxton Manor for the first two weeks. Looks familiar? Yep, that's the place they filmed all the exterior shots.* So we figured since we were there we might as well see the movie. The college had a copy of the DVD (big surprise), so we popped it in and settled in for a comfy evening of cheap horror.

    A few days before we had the fifty-cent tour of the place where one of the employees explained the history of the manor and showed us all the rooms. One of the rooms is informally known as The Room of Ninety-Two Cherubs. During the daylight it's harmless enough, if a bit pink. At night, though, when you made a wrong turn and you had just watched a movie in which a whole door of carved children come to life and start grabbing at people? Creepy as hell. I didn't go into that room much after that.

    *Everything was real except the front gate. The originals needed to be restored, so the manor made a deal with the production company: we'll let you film a scene where Owen Wilson crashes his car into the gates if you take our gates and restore them and put up fake ones.
    Why won't those stupid idiots let me join their crappy club for jerks?

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    Quixotic Elixir Guinastasia's avatar
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    Default Re: "The Haunting" (1999), or: When Production Designers Go Nuts

    Actually, IIRC, she was a bisexual-and the reason she had insomnia is her boyfriend found out about her girlfriend, or maybe it was the other way around?
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    Default Re: "The Haunting" (1999), or: When Production Designers Go Nuts

    Quote Originally posted by Guinastasia
    Actually, IIRC, she was a bisexual-and the reason she had insomnia is her boyfriend found out about her girlfriend, or maybe it was the other way around?
    Well, possibly. A quick Google search produces ambiguous results: 14,000 hits for "haunting 1999 catherine zeta jones lesbian" vs. 7,800 for "haunting 1999 catherine zeta jones bisexual."

    I can't help but notice that you were apparently paying attention to the dialogue. Do you not see how this undermines the intent of the filmmakers? You can't properly appreciate this movie if you insist on listening to the actors.

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    my god, he's full of stars... OneCentStamp's avatar
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    Default Re: "The Haunting" (1999), or: When Production Designers Go Nuts

    Quote Originally posted by terrifel
    I can't help but notice that you were apparently paying attention to the dialogue. Do you not see how this undermines the intent of the filmmakers? You can't properly appreciate this movie if you insist on listening to the actors.
    It doesn't help that you keep insisting on referring to them as actors. I don't know what she was in any other movie, but in that film, CZJ was mobile set dressing.
    "You laugh at me because I'm different; I laugh at you because I'm on nitrous."

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