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Thread: Where is my FUCKING Oyster Card?

  1. #1
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    Default Where is my FUCKING Oyster Card?

    Well? Where the fuck is it?

  2. #2
    Elephant TheFlame's avatar
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    Default Re: Where is my FUCKING Oyster Card?

    Did it fall out of your pocket on the bus?
    I didn't make the world this way, it was like this when I got here

  3. #3
    Oliphaunt jali's avatar
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    Default Re: Where is my FUCKING Oyster Card?

    Ok. Tell me all about it. ::takes out pad and pen::
    They weren't singing....they were just honking.
    Glee 2009

  4. #4
    Oliphaunt Rube E. Tewesday's avatar
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    Default Re: Where is my FUCKING Oyster Card?

    (Looking around) ...No, I don't see it...

    Oh, by the way, what's an oyster card?

  5. #5
    Elephant TheFlame's avatar
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    Default Re: Where is my FUCKING Oyster Card?

    Quote Originally posted by Rube E. Tewesday
    (Looking around) ...No, I don't see it...

    Oh, by the way, what's an oyster card?
    Its a plastic card (usually blue) with a chip inside that you can use to pay for public transport in London. See here.
    I didn't make the world this way, it was like this when I got here

  6. #6
    For whom nothing is written. Oliveloaf's avatar
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    Default Re: Where is my FUCKING Oyster Card?

    Ah, okay.

    I thought it was some frequent-dining promotional card from Long John Silvers.

    Which remind me, I would really like some hush puppies right now.
    "I won't kill for money, and I won't marry for it. Other than that, I'm open to just about anything."

    -Jim Rockford

  7. #7
    Maximum Proconsul silenus's avatar
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    Default Re: Where is my FUCKING Oyster Card?

    I was wondering how you could possibly shuck an oyster with a card.


    Mmmmmm.....hush puppies. I might just have to break out the deep fryer this weekend.
    "The Turtle Moves!"

  8. #8
    Oliphaunt Rube E. Tewesday's avatar
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    Default Re: Where is my FUCKING Oyster Card?

    All joking aside, that sucks, and I hope Nancarrow finds it. Failing that, I see from the website it's possible to register them in case of loss or theft. I hope you did that (knowing that I probably wouldn't)

  9. #9
    Indifferent to bacon Julie's avatar
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    Default Re: Where is my FUCKING Oyster Card?

    Quote Originally posted by Oliveloaf
    Ah, okay.

    I thought it was some frequent-dining promotional card from Long John Silvers.

    Which remind me, I would really like some hush puppies right now.
    There was this restaurant, I don't remember the name and don't remember where, but they had the best hush puppies in the history of the WORLD. It was south of here. Or maybe it was Cleveland.

    Now I want hush puppies, too.

  10. #10
    For whom nothing is written. Oliveloaf's avatar
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    Default Re: Where is my FUCKING Oyster Card?

    Out of deference to the lost oyster card, we could take a bus to get hush puppies.

    I like to dip mine in tartar sauce.
    "I won't kill for money, and I won't marry for it. Other than that, I'm open to just about anything."

    -Jim Rockford

  11. #11
    Maximum Proconsul silenus's avatar
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    Default Re: Where is my FUCKING Oyster Card?

    The best hush puppies in the world are served in North Carolina. Especially the ones at Bridges BBQ in Shelby. They look more like corndogs than normal hush puppies, but they have just the right texture and seasoning. Perfect for dipping into the sauce and munching.
    "The Turtle Moves!"

  12. #12
    Oliphaunt jali's avatar
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    Default Re: Where is my FUCKING Oyster Card?

    I've always given mine away. I didn't know they were good. i thought they were fried batter left from the fish.
    They weren't singing....they were just honking.
    Glee 2009

  13. #13
    Maximum Proconsul silenus's avatar
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    Default Re: Where is my FUCKING Oyster Card?

    Quote Originally posted by jali
    I've always given mine away. I didn't know they were good. i thought they were fried batter left from the fish.



    Hush puppies are marvelous! Truly what the gods eat at their BBQs. Although, originally, they were leftover batter, fried up and tossed to the dogs to quiet them down. But they've mutated over the years into corny delight.
    "The Turtle Moves!"

  14. #14
    Oliphaunt jali's avatar
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    Default Re: Where is my FUCKING Oyster Card?

    That look of horror made me smile.

    I'll try some and let you know.
    They weren't singing....they were just honking.
    Glee 2009

  15. #15
    aka ivan the not-quite-as-terrible ivan astikov's avatar
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    Default Re: Where is my FUCKING Oyster Card?

    What da heck are 'hush puppies' that you can eat?

    Over here, Hush Puppies are an item of footwear.
    To sleep, perchance to experience amygdalocortical activation and prefrontal deactivation.

  16. #16
    For whom nothing is written. Oliveloaf's avatar
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    Default Re: Where is my FUCKING Oyster Card?

    I think we can safely say this thread has been hijacked.
    "I won't kill for money, and I won't marry for it. Other than that, I'm open to just about anything."

    -Jim Rockford

  17. #17
    aka ivan the not-quite-as-terrible ivan astikov's avatar
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    Default Re: Where is my FUCKING Oyster Card?

    Quote Originally posted by Oliveloaf
    I think we can safely say this thread has been hijacked.
    Yes, but don't look at me for having the missing credit card!
    To sleep, perchance to experience amygdalocortical activation and prefrontal deactivation.

  18. #18
    For whom nothing is written. Oliveloaf's avatar
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    Default Re: Where is my FUCKING Oyster Card?

    Quote Originally posted by ivan astikov
    Quote Originally posted by Oliveloaf
    I think we can safely say this thread has been hijacked.
    Yes, but don't look at me for having the missing credit card!
    Does the oyster card have debit card functionality? Because, if accepted, it could be used to purchase hush puppies.
    "I won't kill for money, and I won't marry for it. Other than that, I'm open to just about anything."

    -Jim Rockford

  19. #19
    Maximum Proconsul silenus's avatar
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    Default Re: Where is my FUCKING Oyster Card?

    Quote Originally posted by ivan astikov
    What da heck are 'hush puppies' that you can eat?
    Hush puppies. Yum!
    "The Turtle Moves!"

  20. #20
    For whom nothing is written. Oliveloaf's avatar
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    Default Re: Where is my FUCKING Oyster Card?

    You know what would really rock?

    A hush-puppy stand called "The Fucking Oyster".

    It would only sell hush puppies, deep-fried Twinkies, and Cherry Dr. Pepper.
    "I won't kill for money, and I won't marry for it. Other than that, I'm open to just about anything."

    -Jim Rockford

  21. #21
    Maximum Proconsul silenus's avatar
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    Default Re: Where is my FUCKING Oyster Card?

    Or Cheerwine. Maybe RC Cola as well. Oh, and Moon Pies.
    "The Turtle Moves!"

  22. #22
    For whom nothing is written. Oliveloaf's avatar
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    Default Re: Where is my FUCKING Oyster Card?

    Quote Originally posted by silenus
    Or Cheerwine. Maybe RC Cola as well. Oh, and Moon Pies.
    I like your stuff better.

    Let's go with the Moon Pies and RC.

    I love the Fucking Oyster!

    Road trip!
    "I won't kill for money, and I won't marry for it. Other than that, I'm open to just about anything."

    -Jim Rockford

  23. #23
    For whom nothing is written. Oliveloaf's avatar
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    Default Re: Where is my FUCKING Oyster Card?

    If this is too bold, please push back, but I nominate The Fucking Oyster as the official
    fictional restaurant of Domebo.

    Thoughts?
    "I won't kill for money, and I won't marry for it. Other than that, I'm open to just about anything."

    -Jim Rockford

  24. #24
    Maximum Proconsul silenus's avatar
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    Default Re: Where is my FUCKING Oyster Card?

    Moved and seconded.
    "The Turtle Moves!"

  25. #25
    For whom nothing is written. Oliveloaf's avatar
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    Default Re: Where is my FUCKING Oyster Card?

    I have some GREAT logo ideas.
    "I won't kill for money, and I won't marry for it. Other than that, I'm open to just about anything."

    -Jim Rockford

  26. #26
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    Default Re: Where is my FUCKING Oyster Card?

    Quote Originally posted by Nancarrow
    Well? Where the fuck is it?
    Sorry, my clam ate it.

  27. #27
    For whom nothing is written. Oliveloaf's avatar
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    Default Re: Where is my FUCKING Oyster Card?

    Quote Originally posted by kenner116
    Quote Originally posted by Nancarrow
    Well? Where the fuck is it?
    Sorry, my clam ate it.

    My God! That could be the logo!
    "I won't kill for money, and I won't marry for it. Other than that, I'm open to just about anything."

    -Jim Rockford

  28. #28
    Elephant
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    Default Re: Where is my FUCKING Oyster Card?

    Quote Originally posted by Oliveloaf
    Out of deference to the lost oyster card, we could take a bus to get hush puppies.
    That's kind of cruel considering the man lost his fucking Oyster Card.
    "Dude, your statistical average, which was already in the toilet, just took a plunge into the Earth's mantle." ~ iampunha

  29. #29
    For whom nothing is written. Oliveloaf's avatar
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    Default Re: Where is my FUCKING Oyster Card?

    Quote Originally posted by RoOsh
    Quote Originally posted by Oliveloaf
    Out of deference to the lost oyster card, we could take a bus to get hush puppies.
    That's kind of cruel considering the man lost his fucking Oyster Card.
    A cab then?
    "I won't kill for money, and I won't marry for it. Other than that, I'm open to just about anything."

    -Jim Rockford

  30. #30
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    Default Re: Where is my FUCKING Oyster Card?

    Quote Originally posted by Oliveloaf
    If this is too bold, please push back, but I nominate The Fucking Oyster as the official
    fictional restaurant of Domebo.

    Thoughts?
    Yes we need lots more catchphrases, that is what makes an internet forum great.

  31. #31
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    Default Re: Where is my FUCKING Oyster Card?

    Quote Originally posted by Oliveloaf
    Quote Originally posted by kenner116
    Quote Originally posted by Nancarrow
    Well? Where the fuck is it?
    Sorry, my clam ate it.

    My God! That could be the logo!
    paraphrased as clamato?
    Opportunity is missed by most people, because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work. Thomas Edison

  32. #32
    Curmudgeon OtakuLoki's avatar
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    Default Re: Where is my FUCKING Oyster Card?

    Quote Originally posted by Oliveloaf
    Quote Originally posted by silenus
    Or Cheerwine. Maybe RC Cola as well. Oh, and Moon Pies.
    I like your stuff better.

    Let's go with the Moon Pies and RC.

    I love the Fucking Oyster!

    Road trip!

    I refuse to have anything to do with the Fucking Oyster unless it also serves beer. Beer and hushpuppies are just made for each other.

    (Besides, I figure this is the perfect thread for drunken posting tonight - so we definitely need more beer in here.)

  33. #33
    For whom nothing is written. Oliveloaf's avatar
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    Default Re: Where is my FUCKING Oyster Card?

    If we add beer to the Fucking Oyster menu, it can only be one type of one brand.

    Say, Genesee Cream Ale...or something else cheap and poundable.
    "I won't kill for money, and I won't marry for it. Other than that, I'm open to just about anything."

    -Jim Rockford

  34. #34
    Curmudgeon OtakuLoki's avatar
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    Default Re: Where is my FUCKING Oyster Card?

    Oliveloaf - I'm posting from Rochester.

    Of course I'll be willing to support selling Genny Cream Ale! Gotta keep the brewery open!

    But, I'd agree to anything so long as it's not Red Stripe.

  35. #35
    For whom nothing is written. Oliveloaf's avatar
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    Default Re: Where is my FUCKING Oyster Card?

    Wow.

    I would love a plate of hush puppies and a cold beer right now.

    Really. That would be awesome.
    "I won't kill for money, and I won't marry for it. Other than that, I'm open to just about anything."

    -Jim Rockford

  36. #36
    Indifferent to bacon Julie's avatar
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    Default Re: Where is my FUCKING Oyster Card?

    Quote Originally posted by silenus
    They look more like corndogs than normal hush puppies, but they have just the right texture and seasoning. Perfect for dipping into the sauce and munching.
    The ones I'm talking about looked like the fingers of particularly fat children.

    Fat children made of corn.

  37. #37
    Curmudgeon OtakuLoki's avatar
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    Default Re: Where is my FUCKING Oyster Card?

    Ladyfingers of the Corn?

  38. #38
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    Default Re: Where is my FUCKING Oyster Card?

    What is the Oyster Card?

  39. #39
    Oliphaunt jali's avatar
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    Default Re: Where is my FUCKING Oyster Card?

    I move that the Oyster shall be accepted at the Fucking Oyster, but only with the purchase of combo meals.
    They weren't singing....they were just honking.
    Glee 2009

  40. #40
    Stegodon Jaglavak's avatar
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    Default Re: Where is my FUCKING Oyster Card?

    Quote Originally posted by Limp Prickles
    What is the Oyster Card?
    A gift certificate for a Rolex of course. I'd be hacked too, if I lost one.

  41. #41
    Oliphaunt
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    Default Re: Where is my FUCKING Oyster Card?

    I get what the Oyster Card is (I have something very much like it to use in the laundry room here), but why is it called an Oyster Card?
    I'm not good at the advice. Can I offer you a sarcastic comment instead?

  42. #42
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    Default Re: Where is my FUCKING Oyster Card?

    What is this....public...transportation....you talk of?

  43. #43
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    Default Re: Where is my FUCKING Oyster Card?

    Quote Originally posted by Shirley Ujest
    What is this....public...transportation....you talk of?
    It's the method of choice for arriving in style at The Fucking Oyster.

  44. #44
    Miss Entropy Angua's avatar
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    Default Re: Where is my FUCKING Oyster Card?

    Cause the world (or at least London) is your Oyster with it?

    I've lost my Oyster Card too, but that's not too bad as I doubt I'm going to be in London any time soon. More annoying is the loss of my Pass Navigo, and I'm in Paris at the end of the month!

  45. #45
    No Ordinary Rabbit Count Blucher's avatar
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    Default Re: Where is my FUCKING Oyster Card?

    Willing to trade Metrocard for admission to Fucking Oyster....

  46. #46
    Elephant
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    Default Re: Where is my FUCKING Oyster Card?

    Can't you just ask the police to kindly look through their vast stockpile of surveillance camera data for a recording of where you lost it and what subsequently happened to it? After all the BS about how putting everyone under 24/7 government observation would make their lives so much better, it would be nice to see them actually do so.

    You know, kind of like having an elder brother who's looking out for you.
    No cage, thank you. I'm a human being.

  47. #47
    For whom nothing is written. Oliveloaf's avatar
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    Default Re: Where is my FUCKING Oyster Card?

    Quote Originally posted by Count Blucher
    Willing to trade Metrocard for admission to Fucking Oyster....
    Deal. Hope you brought your belching shoes.
    "I won't kill for money, and I won't marry for it. Other than that, I'm open to just about anything."

    -Jim Rockford

  48. #48
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    Default Re: Where is my FUCKING Oyster Card?

    Well fair enough that the thread was hijacked, I didn't exactly put much effort into it. And I've never been responsible for even the teensiest intarwebz meme, so please do all continue to visit The Fucking Oyster as often as you can (thankyou Oliveloaf), and I shall take some comfort in that.

    I don't think it fell out of my pocket on the bus. I normally keep it in a card holder with about 15 other cards in there. There is now precisely one empty slot in it where The Fucking Oyster Card should be. How do these things happen? There remains the possibility that it is in my flat. My flat is a 3x4m room with a little shower room and 'hallway' (space for a front door to open) attached. But, most of those 3x4m are taken up with piles of paperwork, bags of rubbish, laundry in various states of cleanliness, books, files, dirty dishes. I suppose I should clean up.

    Needless to say I did not register it to protect against loss. Fortunately it's pay-as-you-go and only had maybe a fiver of credit left on it, so I'm not bankrupted or at risk of extortion or identity theft as far as I know. But I'll be fucked if I have to pay 2 for a bus ride for much longer. And the tube can certainly go fuck itself til I find that card. Except, oh shit, I must go to college on Monday to hand in some coursework! And I can't spend time looking for the card! As I've hardly started the coursework yet! And I'm posting here! Fuck!

    I've also had a couple of days of fever and a week of the shits. So I'm not a terribly happy bunny. But typing the word 'fuck' repeatedly does seem to ease the pain.

  49. #49
    For whom nothing is written. Oliveloaf's avatar
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    Default Re: Where is my FUCKING Oyster Card?

    Quote Originally posted by Nancarrow
    I've also had a couple of days of fever and a week of the shits.
    Too many hush puppies?
    "I won't kill for money, and I won't marry for it. Other than that, I'm open to just about anything."

    -Jim Rockford

  50. #50
    Elephant
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    Default Re: Where is my FUCKING Oyster Card?

    If it helps you, I lost my ID badge today.
    But the lady still gave me a discount on my food cuz I was sweet about it.

    And then I found my ID badge 13 minutes later in the hallway where I first entered the building.
    Perhaps this will help you in some way. Keep the Faith, OysterSoulBrother!
    "Dude, your statistical average, which was already in the toilet, just took a plunge into the Earth's mantle." ~ iampunha

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