That could be good. I think some of those people like to keep their money, though.
TNP wishes he or she had a private income.
ETA *new* TNP thinks DIY is kind of bad when it comes to haircutting, tooth extraction, and probably some other stuff.
That could be good. I think some of those people like to keep their money, though.
TNP wishes he or she had a private income.
ETA *new* TNP thinks DIY is kind of bad when it comes to haircutting, tooth extraction, and probably some other stuff.
Last edited by Jizzelbin; 03 Sep 2014 at 10:53 PM.
Responding to *new*: Definitely, with surgery being another one for that list.
TNP thinks voice-mail should not permit any messages longer than 15 seconds.
Yeah, sure. But any voice mail I ever heard cuts you off or if you talk too long. I never listen to messages anyway -- text it or let me call you back.
TNP is glad he or she doesn't have to install a landline and a fax machine, because texting is a bomb motherfucker.
False. I have landlines already, both at work and at home, and access to a fax machine (don't need it that often) at work.
TNP has sent a fax in the past 30 days.
No. But if there were only landlines, I would only use a fax machine. Probably piss people off, but that's their problem. At least I wouldn't have to listen to their whining little ***** voices or hear the ********** phone ring.
TNP inadvertently insulted one (or several) people on Facebook recently.
Not that I know of. Although one of my Facebook friends is a born-again Christian who may not have liked a picture I shared, but she hasn't said anything.
TNP likes Facebook, but isn't quite sure why.
False. Love it, but I know exactly why. People you know from years ago who live in ethnic enclaves or their homelands post funny stuff and you can trade quips or pictures and stuff. It's great.
TNP silently laffs at people who get computer "viruses" or who fall for scams.
Yes, a little, I confess. (And I'm not on FB, as it happens).
TNP has a kid in school.
No, but a nephew started kindergarten yesterday.
TNP has had more than two beards over the years. (Neck [read: unintentional] beards don't count).
True. Ones I just let grown on vacation, and the one I've purposefully had for several years now.
TNP will be watching Ken Burns's documentary The Roosevelts on PBS this week.
False, but then I don't get PBS strangely enough
TNP is always losing pens
In the land of the blind, the one-arm man is king.
Hmmm....true, I guess, but I have a habit of over-acquiring pens, so it works out.
TNP has a hotel pen close by right now.
Yes, if upstairs in my backpack counts.
TNP hopes Scotland will vote to remain part of the UK.
Yes, I do, though I don't claim to understand all the issues.
TNP thinks roast turkey should be eaten on more occasions that aren't holidays.
Absofuckinglutely, pardon my tmesis. Turkey thighs should be acquired and pursued vigorously at any time the hunger strikes.
TNP's upper body is sore from exercise nearly every day.
No. I rarely exercise to the point of soreness.
TNP has an eight-track cassette somewhere nearby.
No. Actually, I can't remember the last time I saw an eight-track cassette, maybe a yard sale?
TNP can' figure out why Starbucks doesn't come up with some decent food options.
False. I never eat anything at Starbucks. Just gimme my venti mocha, extra chocolate, and I'm happy.
TNP has bought something from Starbucks in the past 72 hours.
No, make it a Folger's instant for me!
TNP is a raging egomaniac because of how many pushups he or she can do!
No, if I were anything, I would be deeply, deeply ashamed.
TNP has or has had sciatica.
No, never met her.
TNP has toured a historic battlefield in the last year.
No.
But TNP has actually fantasized about revisiting some cool historic forts, just for fun, recently, which TNP hasn't seen or visited since he or she was a child. Just for fun, you know.
Eh, whatever, but I do have a lot of unrelated questions.
So, this will be a few paragraphs or whatever, but I think it is compelling, so it is absolutely fucking great.
Yeah so I took a public bus out to the coast today, I had a novel out, earplugs in, whatever, just trying to get there, because who cares, right?
Fucking lady with some shit in her face, like a piercing through her lip, starts talking.
Whatever, apparently her buddies are French or whatever, because she's speaking scumbag French -- believe you me, I know what retardeds sound like when they try to speak regular words.
Yeah, so a few hours later, and I had a few more beers just sitting in my chair trying to get to where I'm going, eventually, I have to jump in. Granted, I think I initially made fun of her constant coughing and said she disgusted me with her "microbes," but eventually I said (in French) "Bullshit you are French because your acent sounds like like canadian at best"
she: "je suis vachement franc,aise" which is shit
so whatever
goddammit fucking canadians.
And she did finally admit she wans't a francophone, she was just some canadian trying to be special with her high-school french.
She had some kind of accent, I just recognized it sure as shit wasn't a French accent -- I thought it was that french canadian I was talking about.
I don't think she recognized the idiom "un m'as-tu-vu" when I mutterd it under my breath.
If it wasn't for all that piercing shit in her face, I might have fucked her mom. Her loss, whatever.
Remember the point of this thread, Jizzelbin....
No, I have not fantasized about revisiting some cool historic forts, just for fun, recently.
TNP has already forgotten about the Scottish independence vote.
Yes. thanks EH -- that was my bad. honestly forgot where i was
TNP is listening to good music right now.
Fine, you people are boring.
but, because i respect you (plural), here is a snippet whose semblance you have either sent or thought about sending:
Dear sirs,
I just noticed again that I have "unsatisfied student requirements" for the upcoming academic year, but when I look at <redacted>.edu, it appears that it really means that the "student requirements" means "<redacted> Office of Student Financial Aid requirements."
In other words, I (student) don't have any unfulfilled requirements, but rather your office has unfulfilled requirements, and after your office fulfils your requirements, I will be, obviously, responsible for fulfilling my requirements as quickly as possible.
Please do correct me before the term starts if my understanding is incorrect.
Yours very respectfully,
<redacted>
PS
I will be awaiting with much anticipation your reply, as well as your written committment to reimburse me for any late fees that may have been accrued to my account, due to your office's tardy performance. Your office's over-saturation is understood, and I understand that you will have corrected my account to my satisfactory and correct credit.
Last edited by Jizzelbin; 21 Sep 2014 at 12:42 AM.
Well, let's never speak of that again.
TNP heard recently at least one CD of kicking jams.
False, I think.
TNP prefers strawberry to raspberry jam.
False. Times like a million. Strawberry just sucks.
TNP has strong opinions about berries.
True. They are awesome. They taste good, they help you poo, some fight off things like cancer and dementia. They is good shit.
TNP has suprised themselves somehow recently.
Sure, I surprised myself by getting really fucking drunk for no reason at all. And surprised myself by not being a total tool on facebook to people who are like friends and family IRL.
TNP read some good prose-fiction recently and thought that was OK.
Sadly, no. In fact, this morning on the subway I was reading something I had downloaded without realziing it was from Smashwords, and was cursing Smashwords for letting people who can't write think that they're authors.
TNP is in a fairly foul mood right now.
Nah, pretty good mood except I ate all the food yesterday and drank all the liquor.
TNP has no idea what a "smashwords" is. ETA *or* just looked up -- it's some thing for bloggers or whatever. TNP thinks Thomas Bernhard's ability for cunning invective is admirable, and agrees that occasionally translators into English get it mostly right, because he or she bothered to check.
Last edited by Jizzelbin; 22 Sep 2014 at 03:18 PM.
Sure, why not?
TNP has used the acronym "TLDR" sometime in the past 60 days.
False. I'm usually pithy enough to not need such an acronym.
TNP has recently laughed until they cried.
Not sure I've ever done that in my life.
TNP doesn't quite get why people are so obsesses with zombie apocalypses.
True, they have become a little too common and overdone recently.
TNP doesn't believe an apocalypse is ever going to happen.
In the land of the blind, the one-arm man is king.
Nothing involving zombies or the Rapture. We will become extinct some day, though.
TNP really, really likes Snickers bars.
Well... I like Mounds bars better, but Snickers are pretty good.
TNP hates coconut.
False. I like it in all its forms.
TNP has made a dick joke in the last 24 hours.
False. Not my favourite type of humour.
TNP likes marmalade better than jam.
Yes, I believe so.
TNP thinks marmite might push marmalade out of the way for the lead, though.
Definitely not. I don't care for the stuff.
TNP has listened to an Electric Light Orchestra song in the past week.
False. I can't even name a song of theirs, TBH.
TNP likes eating fish.
Ehh, I can eat fish, but I don't think I every find myself craving it or anything.
TNP likes oysters on the half shell.
No, I prefer them fried.
TNP has had fried oysters in the past 30 days.
Probably not in the past ten years.
TNP is wearing a nice tweed sportcoat, tie, and Oxford shirt, plus slacks today (and understated sneakers) for a job interview as a public events technician (basically a roadie). Damned I clean up good!
False. I'm still in bed so I'm not wearing much...
TNP sees colours when they hear music.
Not sure, but I bet you do.
TNP hears the clamor of the masses in music, as well as the weight of much of history.
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