No.
TNP knows a woman who is a cheesemonger.
No.
TNP knows a woman who is a cheesemonger.
No, I must confess, with regret, that I know not a single cheesemonger of any gender identity whatsoever.
TNP has seen and enjoyed the Cheese Shop sketch before:
Of course! Who hasn't! Good stuff right there.
TNP considers it a pretty good compliment when a woman says she thinks one is good with one's hands and mouth. Interpret how you will.
Yes, I wouldn't mind it in the least if a woman (especially a pretty one) said that to me.
TNP doubts that that cheese shop is actually the finest in the district, no matter how clean it is.
Not at all. I think the cheeses are not to my liking at that shop.
TNP knows a gal who likes to get down but cannot really hold her liquor. IOW, pretty good, but not good enough to hang nor even do a Cosby with, assuming TNP has adequate moral judgment and exercises it.
No, none of the women I know well are bad drunks. Or drunks at all, for that matter....
TNP would rather have a decent beer than a great wine, most times.
No. I don't often drink good wine, like a big red, but when I do, I find it more pleasurable than sucking down some suds. That said, I only drink cheap beer, the occasional decent cider, and good whiskies (mid-tier Irish and Scotches and above [Teeling Small Batch, Black Bush, or Johnnie Black could be baselines for the minimum amount of flavor I desire in whiskies, although none of those approach the better stuff]). "Decent" beer is kind of boring to me by now: I've had plenty of it in the past and I don't see the point, really.
TNP finds a crisp, relatively neutral (not overly fruity, i.e.) draft cider to be sometimes a lot more refreshing than any beer.
No, the few experiences I've had with draft ciders haven't left me eager for more. A good, dark, nonalcoholic apple cider, though? Yes, please.
TNP has something bright orange within arm's reach.
Mmm...yes, my coffee mug is sort of a rust color....the Connemara Peated Single Malt is also rust color.....but, yes! If I stretched arms some of the housings of some power extenders are indeed blaze orange in color. I call that a win!
TNP has ever been unhappy about setting up a "date" in advance, as in, from Pulp Fiction, "it's been built up too long and now [she] definitely won't laugh." (or whatever). IOW, sort of a perfect storm.
Yes, I was often an awkward, clueless idiot while dating in my late teens.
TNP still wishes he or she had propositioned someone in particular before turning twenty.
Hell no. Those women from 'The Early Years' are walking disaster zones and had nothing in common with me or my future self. Much happier with the women I met as an adult, including the one I'm seeing now.
TNP says "phooey" to those who suggest one can't find a suitable partner at a bar.
Unless the bar is almost empty, yeah, you can probably find someone worthy of at least sharing a drink.
TNP has read a Sherlock Holmes story in the past month.
No. Haven't read much except TapeOp magazine, and several times Keats's terrific sonnet "On First Looking into Chapman's Homer" in an attempt to memorize it.
TNP thinks that clean sheets, lots of blankets, and a clean bathroom are about good enough to invite one's lady friend over....especially if one has exactly two hours until going to sleep and a bunch of other "lady friend preparations" to do for tomorrow. Especially if he or she has shared pictures of the state of one's abode via text so she knows the score.
That's probably 90% of it, yeah. Not having the place be too cluttered, and having refreshments you know she likes, would be for the best, too.
TNP is planning a trip for this summer already.
Nope. Ain't got no yen to travel these days, not at all.
TNP wouldn't be a bit surprised if, after sending a very sweet, non-accusatory break-up text to a gal, if a little bit of drama ensued, and likely some tears should one acquiesce to talking in person with the subject. But TNP wouldn't be happy about it!
Agreed on all points.
TNP had at least a little bit of chocolate today.
No, but I intend to. This gal wanted to come over and "talk" face to face so I set out a plate of Petits écoliers, a pitcher of water and a glass, a bottle of red wine and a clean glass, just to be hospitable. I'll eat some of those little schoolboys for sure.
TNP considers himself or herself to be somewhat adept at basic household plumbing, on the level of replacing a flush valve or the like.
If I had to, yeah, maybe. But I'd rather call a pro.
TNP has met an actual geisha.
No.
TNP likes no theater. (Meh, the 'h' is silent!)
What little I've seen, yes, but I'm sure a little bit goes a long way.
TNP has been in Japan.
Nope. No desire to go, neither. I am content to enjoy NoJapan in my travels.Spoiler (mouseover to read):
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TNP is not that happy with the amount of tannins and the associated staining of the lips and teeth that comes with drinking, say, a Cabernet Sauvignon, but is damned if he or she will stop drinking the damned stuff!
Yeah, that and from hot tea, I agree.
TNP could do with a nice mug of hot tea right about now.
Not really. Am happy with my daily brew of instant coffee. Meh, add some whole milk and it's fine.
TNP has broken one or more of those glass "carafes" used to steep coffee in the "FR Press" style.
I have not. I never drink coffee at home, only in coffeeshops and in restaurants after meals.
TNP thinks that's an odd distinction to draw.
Nah, not really odd.
TNP would just about sh*t if he or she discovered, after a period of no signs of activity for about a year, that bedbugs seem to have returned. And would probably blame his or her lady friend, secretly, just because.
Well, I'd be looking for somebody to blame. That would totally suck.
TNP has driven through all or part of Kansas in the past year.
Nope. Never. Not once went that far south in the midwest in car/train.
TNP knows somebody well who is from Kansas City, MO, and TNP wouldn't mind visiting KC someday.
No and yes.
TNP has been called for jury duty since Jan. 1.
Nah, haven’t received a notice in years. Not eligible anyway.
TNP is having something Irish to drink today.
Yes, I think I may sip a drop or three of Bushmills after dinner.
TNP has actually visited Ireland.
No, I have not. Some of them make a good whiskey, though.
TNP has ever "broken up" with a woman four or more times only to eventually reconcile.
No, every time I've broken up with a woman, it's been for good.
TNP scratched a happy dog's belly today.
No. I've seen dogs, though. I saw one today.
TNP has ever picked up the phone and said, "Hello, you have two [or however many] minutes. Go!" Or is thinking about it. Or has thought about it.
Yet again, tempting, but no, I never have. Maybe someday. Hmm... I should think of a good time to try that.
TNP has been on a conference call with at least six people in the past month.
Hmmm, haven’t been on a true conference call since probably the beginning of the pandemic. Microsoft Teams or maybe Zoom for everything.
TNP still has a landline, mostly because it doesn’t cost any more than not having it.
Not at home, but at work, yes.
TNP needs more rare coins in his or her life.
Yeah. Preferably some gold doubloons from a pirate's chest.
TNP would grudgingly accept a short-term monogamous sexual relationship if one knew it had an expiration date. But would withold one's essence (emotions, genuine caring, &c) from the partner in such a situation.
If I weren't happily married, yeah, probably. Depending on the girl, it just might not be all that grudging, either (bonus points for the Dr. Strangelove reference, BTW).
Despite Dr. Strangelove being a brilliant and amazingly funny Cold War spoof, TNP thinks that 2001: A Space Odyssey is actually Kubrick's best picture.
Probably. It's really tough to say. I'd be inclined to be contrarian and say *Barry Lyndon* is Kubrick's best picture, even though the tale is slight and from a lesser literary source. But, not really a super fan of SK, although I know his movies. He kind of bothers me, for some reason, in the way that Godard does, and a few others.
TNP recently found out that at least one person in his or her life is/was a pretty hard-core alcoholic, and, if not, can say that having found out similar factoids about someone really explains a lot.
Yes, I learned in the early 1990s that someone I thought I knew pretty well had a well-concealed drinking problem. He seems to be doing much better now, fortunately.
TNP wants pizza tonight.
No, but I probably will "cook" a frozen pizza and finish off this Cabernet Sauvignon table wine anyway. You know, the Barefoot Cab. Sauvign. n. is not terrible for a table wine. It's remarkably dark and full of tooth-staining whatnots. Acceptable for swilling.
TNP will explain the allure of delivery pizza, as I know RET is going to.....about.....almost....now?
:: waits patiently for RET ::
Sorry, life got in the way. Anyway, what’s to explain? Hot cheese, tomato, etc, brought to your door, marking Friday night, along with your ice cold Vesper.
TNP thinks the Vesper is James Bond’s greatest accomplishment.
No, repeatedly saving the world for Queen and Country has to be acknowledged as James Bond’s greatest accomplishment. But I concede that, in some circles, the Vesper is not too far behind.
TNP has read Ian Fleming's 007 short story collection, For Your Eyes Only, and remembers that the title story (which has almost nothing in common with the later movie of the same name) takes place in Jamaica, London, Canada and northern Vermont.
Yes, and not really. Perhaps not my finest accomplishment in reading, but I went through all the published Bond works during a period of low engagement. I do not recall that specific constellation of places, but I'm not a super Bondianiste, nor do I have all that great a memory when it comes to certain things. The Jamaican connection comes up at least once, IIRC, but I don't recall the title of the work(s).
TNP thinks it's a very grave invasion of privacy for others to remark on one's birthday. And TNP is actually surprised that people older than the age of, say, eight, seem to relish that kind of thing.
No and no, respectively. I wish people a happy birthday all the time, if I know it's theirs, and although I don't expect anyone over the age of eight to obsess about their own birthday, a certain level of fuss is fine with me.
TNP prefers chocolate birthday cake to vanilla.
Sure, why not? I'd gladly trade that for a decent pour (or several!) of Irish, but if I had to eat the cake, I'd go with chocolate. Followed by a vigorous tooth-brushing.
TNP thinks the Beastie Boys were one of the most important groups of the 1990s in popular music. Or TNP knew that they were generally fairly competent as instrumental musicians.
I'd heard that, but you couldn't prove it by me. I'm not a fan.
TNP was really into folk music, back in the day.
Not exactly. But I liked what people like Jimmy Page did on acoustic guitars, including the 12-string. Quick joke: how long does it take to tune a 12-string guitar? Nobody knows.
TNP is going to one of these days start practicing a bit harder on some instrument and such. Alternatively, TNP has recently been humbled by attempting to play an instrument. Yes, voice counts as an instrument.
Yes, I took several years of piano lessons as a kid and never got particularly good at it.
TNP has been swimming in the past month.
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