The next person to post in this thread...

[Elendil's Heir]

Not recently, but yeah, there's been some really good stuff over the years. I particularly like the fake ads: anti-robot insurance, Clownpenisfart.com investment bankers, Happy Fun Ball, Colon Blow cereal, etc.

TNP could go for a bowl of Colon Blow right about now.

[Jizzelbin]

Heh. Yeah I remember those good old ones. Actually, yes, but I don't think any more details should be shared.

To taunt TNP, which one is not enjoined not to do, TNP found out recently that a pretty good friend "accidentally" blocked him or her from her cell phone.....................and if not, TNP would be unhappy about that, given the amicable status of his or her friendship with........that.........woman. Or put more simply, TNP has been somewhat disappointed recently by an interpersonal thing.

[Elendil's Heir]

Don't think I've ever been blocked from anyone's cellphone. But yes, I had a Zoom chat with some high school friends last night that wasn't as engaging as I might've hoped. I think we've just grown apart over the years. It also doesn't help that one of the six is very conservative and the rest of us are, by and large, more liberal, so we tend to avoid politics, which in the past hasn't been the case.

TNP has a good friend with whom he or she avoids discussing politics.

[Jizzelbin]

Heh. No, I'm still friends with the original Ayn Murray-Hernnstein EP guy. In fact that was the bulk of his doctoral dissertation. I don't want to reveal some of the depths he went to.

However, nowawdays he has not abandoned his principles, but he is pretty far to the left. Like March on Washington for Hilary and all that.

But we don't tak much politics IRL, on the phone, or by e-mail/text. Obviously we both have strong intellectual passions and zeals for the just ideas, but it's more to talk about classical music or just to joke around.

TNP is about ready to say to him or herself, "I should not stay out past ten p.m.: too many low lifes out, and too much temptation to order a Five Guys Burger when one shouldn't be driving.

[Elendil's Heir]

No, hasn't been a problem for me, especially since the pandemic hit.

TNP is enjoying a sunny day.

[Jizzelbin]

Sure. From the comfort of the shade.

TNP has recently shared part of a fat joint with somebody and got suprisingly fucked up after only a few drags. OR TNP can say that it's probably best to do that kind of thing at home, so as not to risk becoming a public menace or an object of ridicule.

[Elendil's Heir]

Yes, definitely the latter.

TNP has some mail that ought to go out today.

[Jizzelbin]

MMmmmmm....No. I have some bills to pay but that can be done online.

TNP is generally suspicious that most auto mechanics are just jerking you around...but it's still acceptable. Barely.

[Elendil's Heir]

Yeah, sometimes I wonder if I'm getting bilked. But I don't think I am.

TNP has had a vehicle in for repairs in the past week.

[Jizzelbin]

Yep. They couldn't fix the LF bleeder screw on the previous brake fluid flush and replace, which was apparently implanted in one of the LF calipers (but they said wasn't leaking and whatever), but they did the whole front axle brakes (rotors, calipers, pads) and applied the previous discount for the brake fluid flush, so it was a pretty good deal for one axle of brake work.

TNP wonders if a lady friend (not a special lady, just a lady friend!) has any rules about how long until she texts me or calls me. No, I didn't ask for her number, but I know where she lives: she knows me and my digits, though. I imagine such a lady friend might have some ideas, like "three days," or perhaps, "never!"

[Elendil's Heir]

Yeah, I might wonder that. I'll admit I never had much patience with the gamesmanship of "I won't text her until X days have passed, so I can be the cool one" or "If she calls me sooner than X hours, it means she's desperate" and the like.

TNP has heard birdsong in the past hour.

[Jizzelbin]

Hearing one right now. Several, in fact. At least four or five different bird species, but I can't identify them. What do they call it, a "dawn chorus"? This is like a midday chorus. For what reason various flocks seem compelled to have communicated at this precise moment, I wouldn't know. And now they stopped! They are mysterious creatures.

/* Oh, about "the original Ayn Murray-Hernnstein EP guy": that was meant as a figure of speech. I don't think having one's doctoral dissertation bound and stored in the basement of some library quite counts as the same level of fame (or infamy), but in certain circles, yes. That sounded like a cryptic statement, therefore I had to emend that. */

TNP thinks honesty is the best policy when it comes to talking with friends of the opposite sex (or same, or non-binary, or whatever, same thing): if the topic arises, "Yes, I'd fuck you: you're very pretty." For the reason that, at least among mature adults, for some values of "mature," one expects a certain amount of natural force, and one can expect to be able to just move on and have no problems being friends and comrades.

And for the even more important reason that secrecy or hidden intentions are toxic and anathema to any kind of relationship built on mutual respect for the other.

In situations where one verbalizes such things explicitly, that is.

[Elendil's Heir]

I would never be quite that direct and/or crass, but yes, I think honesty is usually the best policy.

TNP washed the dishes tonight.

[Rube E. Tewesday]

I am the one in my family who turns on the dishwasher every night before bed, so yes, I guess.

TNP likes Major League Baseball adopting the 7 inning double header.

[Elendil's Heir]

Sure, I wouldn't mind seeing how those go.

TNP has at least three pieces of MLB apparel.

[Jizzelbin]

No.

TNP thinks a little urine or sweat on a garment is no problem: meh, let it dry, it's fine.

[Elendil's Heir]

Urine, no, I'd wash it ASAP and wouldn't wear it in the meantime; sweat, if it doesn't stain it, yeah, that's ok at least until the next laundry day.

TNP has been a little cold today.

[Jizzelbin]

No. It's been rather truculent, the sun, today, and it appears to remain so for quite a while. Which is a shame because I have some new fleece-lined pants I kind of like, but I'll be sticking with cargo shorts for the moment.

TNP must share the results of his or her findings: jeans, canvas work pants, or khakis.

[Elendil's Heir]

In weather like this, jeans would be best, but I'm traveling and don't have any with me.

TNP took a wrong turn today while driving.

[Jizzelbin]

Yes, somewhat. There was a bewildering onslaught of Memorial Day traffic and I chose an adequate but not ideal circuitous route.

TNP must decide and say which is the more buffoon as an actor: Sly Stallone or Vin Diesel.

[Elendil's Heir]

Boy, that's a toughie. Hmm. Lemme think. Both are certainly capable of good acting, but both have been, more than once, buffoons on the big screen. If I had to pick one, I'd say... Sly.

TNP agrees with that call.

[Jizzelbin]

No. I saw xXx the other day, and other movies....I think Vin Diesel is the worst. However, I happen to like the Rambo and the Rocky movies (for the most part). I'm on Team Stallone all the way.

TNP is mildly annoyed when casual acquaintances who express a mutual desire to stay in touch sometimes don't make the jump to e-mail from text. And will explain why or why not.

[Elendil's Heir]

Yes, too many people say they want to keep in touch but then don't actually lift a finger to do so. Very annoying.

TNP has attended, even via Zoom, a high school or college reunion recently.

[Rube E. Tewesday]

Nah, don’t do those.

TNP wishes the ice cream truck came to their neighborhood.

[Elendil's Heir]

Yes! Pre-pandemic, the ice cream truck came by our neighborhood maybe two or three times a summer. I usually got something.

TNP prefers chocolate to vanilla ice cream.

[Jizzelbin]

Yeah. There's different qualities, but generally, despite not eating the sweets usually, chocolate ice cream pleases me.

TNP has ever recently done something as stupid as leaving one's wallet at home before leaving for work (or whatever). And if so, will explain why he or she is such an idiot.

[Elendil's Heir]

Yes, several times I've almost gone out the door without taking along a mask. I keep a backup mask in the car, just in case, but haven't had to use it yet.

TNP knows someone who flatly refuses to get the COVID-19 vaccine.

[Jizzelbin]

Tcheh. Probably among some people I encounter, including at work (even my gal [friend, not special lady] who doesn't get the Flu shot is on board with The Vaccine. I just don't ask, don't tell. Although if prompted I'll say I'm a Pfizer man., myself.

[/*EDIT: what is there a mask shortage? JFC! There are hundreds of CV-free masks in my car! I tut-tut at you, good sir! */]

TNP can explain why people would deliberately play tepid, limp dance music on a jukebox at a bar. Those aren't "songs": they're designed to elicit a response from the reptilian brain. Not music: stimulus.

[Elendil's Heir]

No idea. If you're going to pick a song on a jukebox, it should be a great song.

TNP has been present when someone, as a prank, paid for the same song over and over again on a jukebox to make everyone suffer.

[Jizzelbin]

No. I've only heard rumors IRL of such a deed done recently. Although I've played Aretha's "Rock Steady" quite a few times in a row to passive-aggressively express my displeasure. Or something. I think the rumors have been more like somebody putting $100 USD in the "box" and playing something ridiculous.

TNP has run into a close aquaintance/relative/etc. in a liquor store recently and found it amusing, rather than embarrassing.

[Elendil's Heir]

No, but it reminds me of the old joke:

Q: What's the difference between a Presbyterian and a Baptist?
A: A Presbyterian will pretend not to recognize you when he sees you in the liquor store.

TNP has heard that joke before.

[Jizzelbin]

Yeah, I have. I think it might have been a version with Methodists and Baptists, but same idea. Don't remember where I first heard that basic joke. FWIW my true story was running into my mother at a liquor store two or three days ago: she knows I drink, and vice versa, but she actually came up next to me and said "Can I help you find something, sir?" I thought it was just some shop clerk and I blathered something about just looking for something blah blah and it wasn't until she drew attention to herself I realized it was her. I guess one get pretty self-absorbed examining the whiskies!

TNP can say what exactly is so annoying about being around drunken people — their slurred speech, general dumbassery, etc. Or perhaps TNP disagrees with the premiss and enjoys the company of certain of those inebriated types. And TNP should give a detailed graph.

[Elendil's Heir]

I've had relatively few dealings with drunk people, but usually they're unpleasant (including an aggressive drunk guy on the London Underground some years back). Not fond memories.

TNP has been on the Tube.

[Jizzelbin]

No. Never been to London.

TNP finds a multimeter (voltmeter+ammeter+continuity tester) pretty useful for certain things (like seeing why one's car won't start, for example).

[Elendil's Heir]

No, don't think I've ever used one.

TNP's fridge has been having problems.

[Jizzelbin]

Sure. I think its problem is that it sucks electricity like an expert whore eats wang.

TNP would be pretty well hosed if his or her car stopped, you know, working and stuff.

[Rube E. Tewesday]

Nah, we don’t go anyplace much anymore, there’s public transit and the kid doesn’t mind driving us in his car.

TNP is kind of fascinated by how much money there is in the car insurance business, based on all the commercials.

[Elendil's Heir]

Yes, that and new prescription drugs ("Ask your doctor if Drug X is for you").

TNP is ready for a cold beer.

[Jizzelbin]

No. I'm really tired and annoyed by the company I keep at my regular bar, and drinking beer at home is kind of a hassle, what with mountains of cans accumulating over time. I think they're like tribbles, and they keep multiplying of their own accord.

TNP would gladly substitute a very smoky highland Scotch for the beer, though.

[Elendil's Heir]

Unless it were a very hot day, yes.

TNP is wearing something blue today.

[Jizzelbin]

Yes. Blue undershorts, blue socks. Everything else? Black. Black wifebeater, black "dress" shirt, sleeves rolled up, black pants, black shoes. Wait a minute. Brown belt (shut up, my shirt's are untucked!), dark green watchband. Two silver-colored necklaces, one gold-colored.

TNP is officially authorized to no longer wear a mask at work (or perhaps other places).

[Elendil's Heir]

Yes, but I still do, if I have any doubts at all about the vaccination status of those around me.

TNP has a U.S. coin in his or her pocket right now.

[Jizzelbin]

Yep. A penny and a broken cigarette. All I need to start riding the rails and hustling pool!

TNP, judging by names alone, without prior experience, would rather drink Bushmills' Black Bush or Red Bush.

[Elendil's Heir]

The first, I guess, if I had to choose. I've heard of it, but not the second. But I'd be willing to try either, really.

There is no whiskey that TNP would not try at least once, even if it had gotten horrible reviews.

[Jizzelbin]

Yeah, historically that's been true, down to trying some home distilled attempts. There are plenty I'd be happy never tasting again, though. There's no chance I'll be picking up a bottle of Heaven's Hill like back in the college days! Too many other decent options for bottom-shelf/well whiskey (Old Crow, Broker's, etc.).

TNP decides which is better: driving or walking in moderately heavy rainfall.

[Elendil's Heir]

Driving, definitely. I don't mind walking in a light rainfall, if I know there's a big dry towel waiting for me when I get inside, but moderately heavy? No, thanks.

TNP needs to do some dusting.

[Jizzelbin]

Ummmm......define "need." Yes there are cobwebs: huge, dust "webs" of significant size all over. Like Miss Haversham's place or something. Most books are encrusted with dust on the tops. Yes, there's dust on everything, everywhere. Except in the kitchen, where there's a fine layer of aerosolized fat deposits on everything.

TNP is or would be very gratified to have rallied from "one night stand" to "close friend" in terms of interpersonal relationships, and might even say that's a better spot to be in. More stable, more rewarding, fewer volatile, unpredictable emotions.

[Elendil's Heir]

Back when I was dating, yes, especially if that made the difference between "Dear God, I never want to see you again" and "Wanna go get a beer and talk?"

TNP knows at least three women named Marianne.

[Jizzelbin]

Somewhat. One Marianne, one Mary Ann, one Mariana. I only know the whereabouts of one of the Mariannes, though.

TNP currently knows someone who is "into" astrology.

[Elendil's Heir]

No, fortunately not. But see: http://www.ibras.dk/montypython/episode37.htm#3

TNP has never wondered what Petula Clark and David Frost would advise you to do with severe boils.