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  1. #5451
    Member Elendil's Heir's avatar
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    I do. At parties, I could go on and on and on... and sometimes do.

    TNP will tell us a dirty joke in the very next post.

  2. #5452
    Oliphaunt Jizzelbin's avatar
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    Two nuns are bathing in a bathtub. One asks, "Where's the soap?" Other says, "It does, doesn't it!" Best I can do on short notice -- I don't work blue online.

    TNP has a good reason why Pollacks are the butt of jokes -- the people who are responsible for the very best of logical and linguistic accomplishments in Central Europe next to Aristotle.

  3. #5453
    Oliphaunt Rube E. Tewesday's avatar
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    Yeah, I think I do - a lot of displaced peasants hitting the U.S. after WWII, and not understanding WASP ways so well. In Canada, we have or had very similar "Newfy" jokes, based on Newfoundlanders coming to the mainland after Newfoundland joined Canada.

    TNP has been to one of those comedy clubs where kids trying to get stage time relentlessly try to sell you tickets.

  4. #5454
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    I have indeed been to comedy clubs, but never had that particular experience.

    TNP has been to a comedy club in the past month.

  5. #5455
    Oliphaunt Jizzelbin's avatar
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    No. Not in the past decade, probably. Probably not even walked *by* a "comedy" shop in that time either.

    TNP has even *seen* a jazz club/bar in the past year or so. You know, the kind that actually has people playing in it. And a bunch of derelict musicians wearing funny hats and smoking out front.

  6. #5456
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    Yes, and I listened to a few tunes. Dixieland is my favorite.

    TNP hates Dixieland jazz.

  7. #5457
    Oliphaunt Rube E. Tewesday's avatar
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    Nah, as jazz goes, it's probably my favourite.

    TNP hates every kind of jazz that can be described as either "cool" or "hot".

  8. #5458
    Oliphaunt Jizzelbin's avatar
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    WTF? Hell no. FALSE!!!!!

    TNP listens to jazz. And I mean "listen," not just background while you spoon caviar into your gullet.

  9. #5459
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    I must confess it is more often background music for me than something I actively listen to. On the other hand, I haven't had caviar in years.

    TNP just loves caviar.

  10. #5460
    Oliphaunt Rube E. Tewesday's avatar
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    Like it fine, but can't use "love" in relation to it.

    TNP is considering getting a new smartphone.
    Last edited by Rube E. Tewesday; 15 Aug 2015 at 08:34 AM.

  11. #5461
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    No. I'm not that high-tech.

    TNP suffers from gadget envy.

  12. #5462
    Oliphaunt Jizzelbin's avatar
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    Not at all. I like nice things (not that I can afford the best things) just not nice gadgets. Gadgets like laptops and phones are ultimately disposable -- they don't last forever -- so I figure just use whatever one works, run it into the ground, rinse and repeat. Ditto digital musical instruments, like digital pianos, Hammond clones, and stuff -- stick some gaffer tape on it, replace the CMOS battery when needed, keep the dust out of the keybed. Well, they do have to work and sound great, and feel good, but there's diminishing returns at a certain point. Happy with my old Boy Scout orienteering compass, my 4GB mp3 player, my dumb phone which stays in my shoulder bag, my Flava Flav-sized watch/stopwatch, and a beater Chromebook tweaked to the max for reading and surfing.

    TNP likes wearing hats these days.

  13. #5463
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    Now and then. I have some favorite baseball caps that I wear for shade or in inclement weather: Cleveland Indians, Ohio History Connection, U.S. Olympics, USS Kearsarge and U.S. Army Air Forces.

    TNP has attended an Olympics game.

  14. #5464
    Oliphaunt Jizzelbin's avatar
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    No. I've never even watched an Olympic Game on TV -- I mean, sure, Picabo Street and Jonny Mac doing commentary (?) but actually watched a single match, like you'd watch a ball game? No.

    TNP sees irony and despair in the following Einstein "quotable": "I FEAR THE DAY THAT TECHNOLOGY WILL SURPASS OUR HUMAN INTERACTION. THE WORLD WILL HAVE A GENERATION OF IDIOTS." Caps because I copied-and-pasted an OLD-SCHOOL text to my mom just now after our walk, and I don't think there's a ready-baked script to decapitalize ASCII chars that I care to find out. And my Chromebooks don't have capslock, without me fiddling with it, so that's the way it's going to read. In caps. Like Virgil intended.

    ETA alternate TNP: has watched an entire game/inning/match on TV of whatever sport. I miss vacationing at my parents' for a week here or there and seeing cable TV tournaments of 9-ball (pool) games. The summer's gone, and all the leaves are turning. From glen to glen, yadda yadda.

    EETA alternate TNP: has seriously recently considering legally changing his or her last name to that of his mother, for reasons of carrying on the Oirish name. Not that my mother doesn't have her problems, but I just like that side better.
    Last edited by Jizzelbin; 20 Aug 2015 at 05:10 PM.

  15. #5465
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    Yes, I've watched entire games/innings/matches on TV. But no, I'm not considering legally changing my name. I like it just fine the way it is.

    TNP personally knows someone with a silly name.

  16. #5466
    Oliphaunt Jizzelbin's avatar
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    Eh, not really. After a while you get used to stupid names. Whatever. After Dweezil, how much more can one do?

    TNP has listened just now to a few great old-school albums/tunes just now. For me, Otis Spann. Thinking about getting some microwavr
    dhit popcorni whatever

  17. #5467
    Oliphaunt Jizzelbin's avatar
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    Oh and stop taking the fucking piss -- you know damned well I was saying never seen OLYMPIC game. Who doesn't know Pindar, among movie watchers? Fucking A, that little bastard is burned into everyone's retinae or whatever. Fucking prick wirh his goddam Pindar,

    I will say that some good poem.
    Eh, wahetcer, I don; care.


    Recuerda mw!

  18. #5468
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    Unless Handel's Water Music qualifies as "a few great old-school albums/tunes just now," no.

    TNP has been to hear a live orchestra performance in the past month.

  19. #5469
    Oliphaunt Jizzelbin's avatar
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    No. And, of course Handel counts as old-school! I'm embarrassed to say I've never knowingly listened to the Water Music -- that sounds kind of like it could be a change of pace. Berg is making me agitated and crabby lately.

    TNP sometimes uses music to attempt to change one's moods -- not just for the pleasure, but you know, to relax or get pumped up, or just keep one's mind off other things.

  20. #5470
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    Quote Originally posted by Jizzelbin View post
    ...I've never knowingly listened to the Water Music -- that sounds kind of like it could be a change of pace....
    Here you go. Good stuff! My favorite movement starts at 42:37:

    And yes, I definitely use music that way sometimes. There are some pieces that almost always calm me, or perk me up, or let me wallow in nostalgia a bit.

    TNP will wear socks to bed tonight.

  21. #5471
    Oliphaunt Jizzelbin's avatar
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    Never. OK, hardly ever. OK, maybe. Haven't decided yet. Thanks for the link, BTW -- that could be exactly a good way to relax tonight. ETA that is nice music. It makes me kind of happy and is mellow.

    TNP will wear a hat to bed tonight, though.
    Last edited by Jizzelbin; 24 Aug 2015 at 09:41 PM.

  22. #5472
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    No. Haven't had to do that unless camping, or on a really cold night at home.

    TNP has been camping this summer.

  23. #5473
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    Sort of. Over the 4th of July weekend my druncle and I sleep in tents in the carport. Seven people already in the house and they just don't want to deal with us staying up late doing silver age of Hollywood impressions and making a bunch of noise.

    TNP has been having a really odd morning so far, and just wants to relax. Maybe listen to some Baroque music, but with fewer French horns.

  24. #5474
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    No, 'twas a pretty normal morning. I did relax a bit, though.

    TNP personally knows a French horn player.

  25. #5475
    Oliphaunt Jizzelbin's avatar
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    Sure, well supposedly that old fart Big Daddy played it pretty seriously, after trumpet. He has one, any way. It's going on CraigsList after he croaks, for sure. I still can never remember how you're supposed to write parts for it -- pretty sure in Bb, and then indicate something for the F key. But that could be backwards. I kind of hate the sound -- reminds me of going hunting foxes or rabbits a la *The Rules of The Game* (the movie).

    TNP prefers listening to one album at a time, rather than a mix tape.

  26. #5476
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    No, I really have no preference. In listening to my iPod, for instance, the songs jump around quite a bit.

    TNP is a fan of the sf adventure spoof Rick and Morty on Cartoon Network's Adult Swim.

  27. #5477
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    Never heard of it. If it's up there with *Archer* and *Venture Bros* sounds better than a sharp stick in the eye.

    TNP has tried deliberately altering his or her perception by reflection and effort.

  28. #5478
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    Oh, yes. For sure. Who hasn't?

    (Rick and Morty is a funny, raunchy sf spoof. Here's a trailer: ).

    TNP watched that trailer.

  29. #5479
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    No, but I did see five episodes of season 2 -- kind of funny.

    TNP thinks laughter is great medicine.

  30. #5480
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    Absolutely. Hard to prescribe or bill for, though.

    TNP has seen a standup comic's live show in the past 60 days.

  31. #5481
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    Live live? No, probably not for 1/6th a century.

    TNP thinks the story about the explorer who saw Denali and wanted to name it something getting fed up by some grizzled old silverbug prospectors is kind of amusing.

  32. #5482
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    Hadn't heard that before, but yes.

    TNP supports the renaming of Mt. McKinley.

  33. #5483
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    Well, I don't care much -- most anybody I know calls it Denali anyway, or else but Mt. McKinley. Yes, I guess I support it, because I don't care one way or the other.

    TNP had an amusing phone conversation yesterday, kind of fun, anyway.

  34. #5484
    Oliphaunt Rube E. Tewesday's avatar
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    Nah. Actually, I can't remember the last time I had an amusing phone conversation.

    TNP links key lime pie.

  35. #5485
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    Yeah. sure, why not.

    TNP knows what Key Limes are and so on and so forth.

  36. #5486
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    Something to do with the Florida Keys, I think? Not sure.

    TNP has been to Key West and seen President Truman's vacation house there.

  37. #5487
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    No. Never been "down south" at all besides Mexico. Plus, I wouldn't know whether to throw rotten eggs or respect yo at Truman's pad.

    TNP has had his or her car "egged" before. IRL, duh.

  38. #5488
    Oliphaunt Jizzelbin's avatar
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    Yeah, OK, slow-pokes. All right, fine, these asshole neighbors egged my car at one point. They were total dicks. It fucked up the "paint" job on my '94 Sentra. Bought in 2005 or so, off a Dr of Music Suckmadick. Fuck you it was like eight-hundred bucks and those neighbors were dicks and I called the cops on them at least three times. Got one of thous bitchez evicted damned right it was them. Fucks up the paint and it will never return. Moral of the story: rust covers all sins.

    TNP has his or her eye on some music from circa 1924.

  39. #5489
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    I've never had my car egged, although I was egged personally once (as a fundraiser in college).

    Music c. 1924, hmmm? How about this:

    TNP liked that very much.

  40. #5490
    Oliphaunt Jizzelbin's avatar
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    Yep. I actually have a different volume of the LoC recordings on CD stacked up on top of my record player. I remember drinking whiskey on my porch a few months ago and playing it. Not a day goes by I don't do something on piano that doesn't owe something to Ferd. Also from 1924:

    TNP has been down to New Orleans.

  41. #5491
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    Yes, I last was down there for a seminar in Jan. 2001. Stayed mostly in the French Quarter - really liked the food at Antoine's: http://www.antoines.com/. I was also there as a kid when my family took a Delta Queen river cruise.

    TNP has been on a river cruise.

  42. #5492
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    No, at least nothing more than a short sight-seeing cruise. Would like to take a long one, though.

    TNP is afflicted by nightmares.

  43. #5493
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    Not regularly -- my dreams are extremely vivid but of boring, everyday things, like reading a book or having an ordinary conversation. I did have "night terrors" as a young child (under the age of six), though -- waking up screaming in terror at remembering characters from Disney movies and stuff.

    TNP has seen (as in observed) IRL a *VERY* cute, and petite and feminine girl who had truckosaurus man-hands.

  44. #5494
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    No. I know of that phenomenon only as a TV gag (Seinfeld, Archer).

    TNP can name five characters on Archer off the top of his or her head.

  45. #5495
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    Uh, Archer, and ....there's a girl with big breasts, right?....I guess no, is what I'm saying.

    TNP reads "The Comics Curmudgeon".

  46. #5496
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    No, but I will check it out today. Carol, Cheryl, and Cherlene (sp?) count as three people, right. And excuse, mister man, three of the gals on Archer have ample busts.

    TNP just about *****ed themselves about a new episode of a cartoon in the last few days. I don't know why I asterisked that -- the Stones said it in a hit song with Stu on piano -- but it would be to crass to ask someone else to admit to the act

  47. #5497
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    Well, I didn't **** myself, but I did enjoy the latest episode of Rick and Morty.

    TNP has been to Salt Lake City.

  48. #5498
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    No. Heard a lot about it -- surprisingly, mostly good things, from secular visitors -- sounds like an experience roughly akin to driving through Wilkes-Barr and Scranton to me -- -- (don't correct me -- those are nested em-dashes) but I only (roughly) know LA as far as the southwest/four-corners/mountain/desert/sierra nevadas/whatever you call it goes. They have a really good choir, I guess. Maybe if they played Mahler or Wagner I might do a road trip, but I'm thinking they are more Handel people.

    TNP thinks contemplation and action are two halves of the same side of a coin. ETA -- too obscure/odd has been puzzled by being apparently dehydrated at some point, despite drinking almost exclusively water and modest amounts, if any, of coffee.
    Last edited by Jizzelbin; 15 Sep 2015 at 02:02 PM.

  49. #5499
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    Sometimes, especially after a salty meal, yes. Not often.

    TNP prefers salty to sweet.

  50. #5500
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    Yes. I probably eat too much salt, but pasta, rice, potatoes, bread just taste wrong to me without salt. Soy sauce, rice, garlic, and fat is a favorite meal for me.

    TNP has recently been held up for a good bit of time (say, forty-five minutes) due to a transportation-related delay (not of one's fault, like, for example, not gapping your sparkplugs correctly or letting a CV boot leak, but something unforeseeable).

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