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Thread: The next person to post in this thread...

  1. #8151
    Oliphaunt Jizzelbin's avatar
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    No. I have never been to Las Vegas, nor any place in Nevada, but I am predisposed to hate everything about that town. I don't feel an urge to rassle alligators either, but I just don't need to have the experience to know it's not for me.

    TNP is pretty well resigned to accepting a serious injury and its accompanying symptoms as just the way it's going to be. Like having a pronounced limp when walking, or that kind of thing.

  2. #8152
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    No, not if there's a good chance drugs, surgery or physical therapy can make me better.

    TNP has been in a hospital in the past month.

  3. #8153
    Oliphaunt Rube E. Tewesday's avatar
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    Nope, thank goodness.

    TNP hasn't taken a sick day in the past year.

  4. #8154
    Oliphaunt Jizzelbin's avatar
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    That is so false. I take sick time off if I feel like pounding off in the car an hour early before work ends.

    TNP should really not be drunk-texting his or her romantic interests like a jerk-off.

  5. #8155
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    I haven't, I don't, and I won't.

    TNP likes writing haiku.

  6. #8156
    Oliphaunt Jizzelbin's avatar
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    Not really. For at least a year or more, I was super into a form of poetry called the ghazal — it's not quite as strict as the haiku, but there are certain conventions, and I like to think I got pretty good at them.

    TNP is very familiar with various types of sonnets, but is not interested in writing them, nor has done so ever.

  7. #8157
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    Kind of familiar, and not nearly talented enough to write one. Haiku or simple rhyming verse are about my limit.

    TNP has a favorite Shakespeare sonnet.

  8. #8158
    Oliphaunt Jizzelbin's avatar
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    Nope. Sorry, Shakespeare just isn't one of my homies.

    TNP can think of something more inappropriate to say after performing oral pleasure on a woman than "MMMMMMM!!!!!! That IS a tasty burger!" Has to be something he or she could say IRL, just for laughs, and damned the consequences. And will say what that is, if applicable.
    Last edited by Jizzelbin; 15 Jun 2019 at 12:57 AM.

  9. #8159
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    Of course there's an apropos Archer quotation:

    "Ew. It tastes even worse than it looks."
    "If I had a dime for every time a guy said that... I'd have eighty cents!"

    TNP wishes he or she hadn't read that.

  10. #8160
    Oliphaunt Jizzelbin's avatar
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    Yes, to my "clever" comment, I regret writing it down. No to the Archer quotes: that's pretty funny stuff.

    TNP thinks last impressions are even more important than first impressions when embarking on a personal relationship adventure fun time.

  11. #8161
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    About equally important, I'd say, so no.

    TNP has bought a new pair of shoes recently.

  12. #8162
    Oliphaunt Jizzelbin's avatar
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    That's a negative colonel.

    TNP rotates which shoes he or she wears. For, reasons.

  13. #8163
    Oliphaunt Rube E. Tewesday's avatar
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    No, I kind of stick to my comfortable walking shoes that keep my feed from being in debilitating pain.

    TNP had a pretty good Father's Day.

  14. #8164
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    Yes, I did. Church, photos with my sons (a tradition for FD) and a party for some friends who are moving away.

    TNP is reading a good book these days.

  15. #8165
    Oliphaunt Jizzelbin's avatar
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    Sure. The Liber Psalmorum is very juicy.

    TNP has had someone unknown to him or her call him or her a "jerk" recently. Details requested but not required.

  16. #8166
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    Someone might've thought it, but no one's said it, fortunately.

    TNP is on jury duty this week, just like me.

  17. #8167
    Oliphaunt Jizzelbin's avatar
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    Ha. No, I don't even think the county knows I exist. Yes, of course I would serve, as obligated, but I haven't received a summons (for that reason) in my life. Well, I might have, but it's probable I either didn't care or did and discarded the document. Yeah, well, it's a good thing I've matured a good bit.

    ETA Wait just a damned minute: they're going to have a fucking judge be on the jury? That fucking shit I'd like to see videotaped in voir-dire or whatever.

    TNP had recent reason to reeaximine an artist's recorded œuvre recently — for example, that of Oscar Peterson — and was extremely surprised by some nuances.

  18. #8168
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    No, can't say as I have.

    Magistrate, not judge, and yes, Ohio law permits it. As it happens, I wasn't picked for the one trial for which I and my fellow jurors were sent up to the courtroom (the jury selection process didn't even get within four jurors of me) and then we were all excused. So that's that for another two years.

    TNP would, like me, be disappointed at again not having the chance to serve on a jury.

  19. #8169
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    Not in the slightest. I wouldn't make attempts to duck my civic duty, if called upon, but the experience sounds like pretty much hell on earth, No Exit-style.

    TNP is really lost without wearing a wristwatch — wall-clocks? Who knows if they're accurate! Cell-phone? You've got to be kidding me, Pyle, dragging some device out of my pocket, seeing a bunch of unrelated crap, and then tucking it back in. Might as well wear a wall clock about one's neck on a chain, without the convience.

    Alternate TNP: what exactly is the difference between a magistrate and a judge, in plain speak? I've read the wikipedia page, but it is not very elucidatory in practical terms for me. Much like how a lot of the theoretical computer science and maths pages are good, but not good for absolute dummies.

    Chooser's choice as to which TNP to answer, of course.
    Last edited by Jizzelbin; 19 Jun 2019 at 12:54 AM.

  20. #8170
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    What the hell, I'll answer 'em both!

    No, I haven't regularly worn a wristwatch for four years or so, since I got a cellphone. And I always used to.

    It varies state by state, but in Ohio, magistrates are appointed and serve "during good behavior," while judges are elected to six-year terms. Magistrates of our court do everything the judges do except (a) conduct criminal jury trials and (b) marry people, which only judges may do by law. Otherwise, we preside over criminal and civil bench trials and civil jury trials, hold pretrial hearings, rule on motions and objections, grant or deny civil default judgments, arraign criminal and traffic defendants, etc. Everything we do is subject to review and approval by the judges of our court, but far more often than not they simply sign off on what we do.

    TNP would like to be a judge (or magistrate).

  21. #8171
    Oliphaunt Rube E. Tewesday's avatar
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    Eh, I dunno. I kind of hoped for it when I started my career, like a lot of lawyers, but now I probably couldn't be bothered with the hassle, even if I could wrangle the appointment. My wife's a part-time Small Claims Court judge, and I don't see a lot of fun in it.

    TNP likes banana splits better than sundaes.

  22. #8172
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    False. I can't remember the last time I had a banana split.

    TNP is following the 2020 presidential campaign pretty closely.

  23. #8173
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    No. IMHO, it's too early to stake claims.

    TNP has used an eyewash station and found it to be invigorating, although not restorative.

  24. #8174
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    No, never have! They had them in the chem lab when I was in high school, and I don't think I've seen one since.

    TNP watched Chernobyl on HBO and found it harrowing.

  25. #8175
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    No, although it seems to have been a bit of an obsession among a lot of my Facebook friends.

    TNP plans to watch a bunch of sports this weekend.

  26. #8176
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    Big negative on that one, chief. Burned out by most everyone I know IRL yapping about such-and-such a game and eksetera.

    TNP is very confused by the (probably) true notion that people would rather watch golf than baseball on television. And thinks those people are cretins.

  27. #8177
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    Something like that, yes, although I have some golfer friends.

    TNP was tempted to kill someone just yesterday.

  28. #8178
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    Hahahaha. No, I would never kill or harm another human, nor would I allow any such acts to be caused by my inaction. You fool, you have no idea. But thanks to my programming I am unable to harm another human nor by my inaction cause a human to be harmed.

    TNP knows someone or several people who wears or wear T-shirts with very entertaining text printed on them. And TNP must share an example, or a reasonable approximation

  29. #8179
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    Yes, I got this not long ago: https://thedudesdesigns.com/collections/lebowski20. It's now my favorite T-shirt.

    TNP just might get one, too.

  30. #8180
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    Hilarious. Yes, I would definitely wear that and it would absolutely get some big laughs. Not sure about buying it, just because the same people would see it as it makes the rounds in the laundry cycle and it could get a little tiresome. I think I could wear it pretty much once or twice to work. However, that is a most excellent T-shirt, indeed. Pretty clever.

    TNP is pretty oblivious to the specific clothes people he or she sees regularly wear, except for distinctive T-shirts.

  31. #8181
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    As a rule, yes, unless it's something particularly offbeat or colorful.

    TNP wears a necktie five days a week.

  32. #8182
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    Not usually, no, Fridays are casual in my already pretty casually dressed office.

    TNP thinks sitting outside with a drink on a nice summer day/evening is one of the underrated pleasures in life.

  33. #8183
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    Yes, it's extremely good. I don't know if I'd say "underrated," though — seems to be pretty rated. For me, drink optional — good alternatives include book(s) and paper, or hand up a good woman's skirt (mutatis mutandis).

    TNP occasionally makes small changes in his or her habits to accomodate another, and feels a bit virtuous privately about it. For example, not smoking, or that kind of thing. And not for random groups of people or because of some posted signs or pesky regulations, because, reasons.

  34. #8184
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    Yes, that's true. Change can be good, and change to oblige someone else out of kindness or generosity can be very rewarding.

    TNP has read Jim Thompson's 1955 noir classic After Dark, My Sweet.

  35. #8185
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    I honestly don't remember: I can see in my mind's eye the reprint paperbacks of Jim Thompson's novels, but I just don't know. Maybe not: I remember Thompson's books as being a little too clever and psychological for my tastes, and I think I only read a few of them. But then again, I could be mistaken.

    TNP would put about twenty-five percent of the things he or she has read or studied in the "don't remember exactly...gimme a second....make it an hour....hold my beer...I'll remember eventually...just a sec" category.

  36. #8186
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    Oh, at least. I realize it especially when I re-read books I read just ten years or so ago - it's a little disconcerting to realize how much of it seems new to me.

    TNP has started a book only to realize that he or she had already read it.

  37. #8187
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    I can't even remember if I've done that, but it seems possible.

    TNP has read the same book in two different translations, to see if the second one makes more sense.

  38. #8188
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    No, but I've read various editions that had differences, big and small (Jeffrey Archer's political thriller First Among Equals has a fourth major character in the original British edition, and a different ending from the American edition, for instance).

    TNP has a favorite political thriller.

  39. #8189
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    guess I like The Quiet American — the only novel I've read by Greene is Our Man in Havana but that was thirty-three or thirty-five years ago, and I don't remember anything about it except "that was amusing." I think I've seen both movie versions of TQA, and I remember that I don't remember enough about them except that I would watch again.

    No, scratch that. I just remembered The Third Man could well be considered a political thriller. I wouldn't know if I'd rate it above The 39 Steps or Notorious or North by Northwest, but that's my vote, just for its unique sordid quality as a movie.

    In books I like Conrad's The Secret Agent, but I don't know if I want to read it again soon. It's very grim, and almost over-loaded with intrigue. The movie Sabotage was OK, but it wasn't really an adaptation, just kind of a riff on the ideas. IIRC.

    That's a hard question.

    TNP is so devoted to his or her regular filling station that he or she only under rare states of duress or need goes anywhere else.

  40. #8190
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    Not devoted, but yes, as a creature of habit I tend to go to the same couple of gas stations.

    TNP fills up his or her car about once a week, on average.

  41. #8191
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    Yeah, probably about that. I tend to keep the tank about half full, and visit weekly, otherwise I'm likely to push my luck and try to test the mileage by running it to nearly empty. It's a resistable urge, that, but one I find compelling at times.

    TNP has run out of gas while driving at least once. Preferably multiple times.

  42. #8192
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    I've come very, very close, and gotten pretty nervous about it when there wasn't a gas station anywhere around, but I have never actually run out, fortunately.

    TNP watched some of the Democratic Presidential debate tonight.

  43. #8193
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    Nah, as a Canadian and someone who is pretty jaded about all politics, paid no nevermind.

    TNP has been having a strange week.

  44. #8194
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    No more than usual. A few isolated notable items: refilled my marine air-horn at the gas station to 100 psi, learned more about the suspension system in cars (tie rods, CV joints, ball joints) and am considering inspecting the system over the weekend myself, have a doctor's appt today to see about the posterior tibial tendon problems and see what he thinks about non-benzodiazepine muscle relaxants and 600-800 mg ibuprofen in a one-capsule bolus. Am peeved about this broken bicycle pump WalMart sold me and don't want to drive out there to return it. Saw part of a ballgame where Oakland seemed completely feeble against Tampa Bay. Ate tacos on Tuesday, and wings on Wednesday. Another week in paradise.

    TNP is expecting a delivery by mail soon and is not only excited, but will say what is in the box.

  45. #8195
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    Yes, I just ordered some retro candy (including Root Beer Barrels, yum) from the Vermont Country Store. Should be here in about a week or so.

    TNP has placed an Amazon order in the past month.

  46. #8196
    Oliphaunt Jizzelbin's avatar
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    No. I'm thinking about it, but it seems most of my immediate needs are better filled by gritting my teeth and driving out to a Target or a Walmart.

    TNP would rate his or her impulse buying higher at AMZ than at local stores (grocery, department, big-box, small-box, whatever). And will explain why.

  47. #8197
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    No, my impulse buying is definitely worse at the grocery store. Just too much yummy stuff to pass it by!

    TNP has a weakness for Hostess fruit pies.

  48. #8198
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    Not at the moment. I can't remember when I had one, but I am sure it was as a single-digit kid. Perhaps as a teenager under the influence of the devil's weed. I'm sure they're good, but my gustatory weakness at the moment is strictly for beer, and lots of it. It actually makes you fat! Go figure.

    TNP's rule about obsessing about one's bulk has changed from concern about appearance to: do clothes fit, and can I kick ass physically? Or other desiderata.

  49. #8199
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    All of the above. I could stand to lose a few pounds.

    TNP can't stand Herman Melville.

  50. #8200
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    False. I find him to be one of the more interesting stylists of his time, and I think it would be a great loss if his records were to have been lost. His novel The Confidence Man, alone, secures his place in American literature, as though his shorter form pieces weren't enough.

    I don't know that American literature would not have survived without Melville, but I find his indelible mark indispensable.

    /*ETA OK, an argument could be made that the novel Moby Dick could have been edited down a little bit, but I still remember liking the encyclopedic entries about the various whale species, although I admit to having skimmed through some of the details. EETA Though, I submit that's true of any novel of length or girth. I wouldn't have it any other way, nor Proust, nor Musil (in its unfinished form). Mann, probably — eh, he was a short form writer. Perhaps Melville was best in that way as well. Dickens, Trollope: those were people who needed a firm backhanded pimp-slap. Not James. Don't start a fight, because I will defend James.*/

    TNP will name a very famous American prose fiction author about whom he or she has very negative thoughts indeed, and will explain why.
    Last edited by Jizzelbin; 28 Jun 2019 at 01:07 PM.

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