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  1. #8401
    Oliphaunt Jizzelbin's avatar
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    Not yesterday, nor today. I'm pretty sure the county sherriff in my spot is an elected position, as well as many judicial posts: no offense meant, but I consider it an OK day when I don't have to talk to "the man" in person. The presumption is that the speech would be related to my own misconduct. Which it most likely would be. Or the misconduct of others, in which case I'd have bigger problems to think about, but the intermediary stages of resolution would likely involve an elected official.

    TNP considers him or her to be almost superhamnly precise, swift, and accurate at navigating complex traffic (human, automobile, in the natural world of solitude, or mixed) scenarios, and therefore when he or she very occasionally makes a collosal blunder is incredibly disappointed. At least for a moment.
    Last edited by Jizzelbin; 15 Sep 2019 at 07:40 PM. Reason: spelling not included, obviously :)

  2. #8402
    Oliphaunt Rube E. Tewesday's avatar
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    Nah, my sense of direction is horrible, and "colossal blunder" is pretty much my default mode.

    TNP would dearly love to get a handle on what exactly was going on in the Late Bronze Age Collapse.

  3. #8403
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    Never even heard of it before (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Late_Bronze_Age_collapse), but if I found out exactly what happened, I'd be sure to post it here!

    TNP believes climate change isn't given enough weight in contemporary historiography.

  4. #8404
    Oliphaunt Jizzelbin's avatar
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    I wouldn't have any idea. "Contemporary" to the Late Bronze Age? I don'r know,,,probably? Yeah, I suppose changes in quantities over time are difficult to assess, given only one resultant and, say, one or a small handful of inputs. That's one reason people "push" calculus over n inputs, and the solution of systems of differential equations, because it's pretty handy.

    Leibniz wins over Newton, any day of the week, in any important contest. TNP is correct and agrees.

  5. #8405
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    And yes, I also would like to know more about the Late Bronze Age Collapse. I've never heard of it before, and now I feel like a moron. Anecdotes! Stories from the Late Bronze Age (what is that, like Homeric age? that I do know about)! Regale me with tales from the Late Bronze Age, ye elderly creatures!

  6. #8406
    Oliphaunt Rube E. Tewesday's avatar
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    I can't say that I've given it too much thought, but Leibniz always sounded like less of a dick than Newton, so, why not.

    TNP is craving a Snickers bar right now.

    (Oh, and late Bronze Age collapse: God knows what happened. It would seem to what brought an end to the "Homeric Age", and it's even possible than the Iliad is a poetic memory of one of its events. A tightly connected, prosperous, literate East Mediterranean world ended in a few decades, bringing on a Dark Age, and no one quite knows why.)

  7. #8407
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    Yeah, I could go me a Snickers bar about now. I'd rather go me a Payday bar, but I wouldn't probably turn down a Snickers. Good wholesome food for good young North Americans. Sort of, I guess.

    ETA That's interesting about the Bronze Age collapse, however late it might have been (or early, really, from our perspective). Sounds familiar, now that you describe it. Possibly one source of the divergence between the Homeric dialect of Gk language from the later Attic "pure" Gk, and also its continuity with koine and the "further east" dialects. Not sure, but it's interesting.

    EETA And, yes, Leibniz was a colossal prick, in his time, including his ridiculous conspiracy theories about Spinoza and his rather cunning plots to sabotage or exploit weaknesses among those he considered enemies. He was, however, more or less a diplomat by trade, so, instead of just plain being a jerk and a dickweed, he had some motives for his cuntery. In the name of politics etc. Well, that's the playground version of my assessment.


    TNP sometimes wishes he or she had a full-face helmet/visor contraption in order to better mask his or her visible emotions when, for example, missing a shot during a pool game or that type of thing.
    Last edited by Jizzelbin; 17 Sep 2019 at 06:43 PM.

  8. #8408
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    Hmmm. Sure! Might come in handy for poker.

    TNP wants to sit in for a jam session with Daft Punk: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Daft_Punk

  9. #8409
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    Yeah, I can hang with that Franco-Motherfuckers. I don't know if I call it music, but it's pretty close,and I can hang with that. I'll even finger-pop with the best of them when the heat is on, or that whole genre gets a good groove. Makes me want to patch the Rhodes piano through the mixer and go through the PA at home. Good enough.

    TNP has become a major fan of using kinesiotape (or just whatever you want to call it, "athletic tape" is good enough) for even minor injuries about the feet and/or hands.

    TNP's next instrument should probably be a trap drums. The final frontier. Ah, come on, every musician knows rhythm, and since that is the ubiquitous instrument next to acoustic piano, guitar, organ, and bass, it should be a snap. Come on: snare on the left, toms down below, crash top right, high-hat to the left.

    It really doesn't be that difficult, but for a thought experiment, just count off snapping your fingers on the upbeats, and using the microphone to demonstrate both the songs and do some casual studio chatter.

    Those guys have big fucking brains. Maybe not all of them, but IME it's harder than you think.

    QED and just check Levon "Up On Cripple Creek" from The Last Waltz.
    Last edited by Jizzelbin; 18 Sep 2019 at 12:26 AM.

  10. #8410
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    Sure, having played piano and alto sax, why not try trap drums next...?

    TNP will be out of town this weekend.

  11. #8411
    Oliphaunt Rube E. Tewesday's avatar
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    I wish. Oh well, baseball and North Woods Law, probably.

    TNP is oddly fond of North Woods Law.

  12. #8412
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    Never heard of it. It does sound promising, at least as a snappy title, not knowing anything about it.

    TNP thinks being short of cash is, on the one hand, sort of cute, like La bohème and shit, but mostly it is a giant PITA.

  13. #8413
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    Nah, don't even see the cuteness. At least when it's happening. I suppose it makes for cute stories if you get out of it.

    TNP thinks the bourgeoisie are just like pigs.

  14. #8414
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    Not especially. I doubt the former are tasty like bacon-wrapped pork chops.

    TNP has a preference for strychnine or baited traps when it comes to killing vermin. Assuming one doesn't have any children or pets to worry about, or at least those one likes.
    Last edited by Jizzelbin; 20 Sep 2019 at 08:28 AM.

  15. #8415
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    Yes, we've had mice now and then, and once a rat. Whatever kills 'em and/or gets 'em outta the house is fine by me.

    TNP has been to Springfield, Ill.

  16. #8416
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    No, not unless I drove through it or took a train through it without realizing it. I'd bet the farm you have been, though. What's there, anyway? I mean, besides the seat of state government.

    TNP makes it a priority to investigate university or large public libraries in towns of any mentionable size he or she passes through for more than a few hours. You know, books and stuff. Kick the tires, see what their holdings are like.

  17. #8417
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    I do love libraries, and have been to known to go into out-of-town ones when I have time.

    There's lots of interesting Lincoln-related stuff in Springfield, which I visited and learned about last weekend:

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abraha...ary_and_Museum
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lincol..._Historic_Site
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Old_St..._Historic_Site
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lincoln_Tomb

    TNP has read a book about Lincoln in the past five years.

  18. #8418
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    I don't think so. I'd have to check, but nothing's coming to mind right now. Plus, while I claim to read at a sixth-grade level, tendonitis in one of my flexor tendons in the hand makes it harder for me to finger the delightful folds of velvety paper. See, is difficult.

    TNP doesn't mind waking up pretty darned early every once in a while, if it's for a good reason. Whatever, like 0400 or even 0230.

  19. #8419
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    True. Like if it’s to start a vacation or something.

    TNP can’t develop any particular fondness for eggplant.

  20. #8420
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    True, in that I think it's a pretty useless vegetable. However, I probably could learn to like some of the traditional dishes prepared with it. I just prefer not to.

    TNP could eat a falafel sandwich every day and have no need for a different type of sandwich.

  21. #8421
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    Nah, I'd want other stuff.

    TNP thinks tomatoes improve most sandwiches not involving peanut butter.

  22. #8422
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    Well, there are tomatoes and then there are tomatoes. I could do without some watery bit of red floppy stuff most of the time. Onions, on the other hand, who could argue with that? No one sensible, surely.

    TNP has made several wagers or bets over the past year: in the traditional sense of gambling, not in the way that "ze life, she is to ze gamble all ze times and we her pawns!" Investment portfolios don't count, either.

  23. #8423
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    No, I don't think so. I've offered to bet a few times (as in "I'll bet you $20 that you won't....") but was turned down. Nothing dangerous, don't worry.

    TNP has at least three pennies in his or her pocket right now.

  24. #8424
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    Yeah. Well, I did just a few hours ago before I took my pants off. It was an unusually penny-rich environment today, not sure why.

    TNP is one of "those people" who, when paying cash, will always dig around in his or her pockets for some jingling change to round out the folding money, or even to get more better change back than a bunch of pennies and, like, a nickel.

  25. #8425
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    Yes, I'm afraid I am. But if anyone is waiting in line behind me I try to be quick about it.

    TNP will be going out to a movie tonight.

  26. #8426
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    Nah, not tonight. Tried to see one Saturday, but neglected to buy tickets in advance and it was sold out.

    TNP could use a nap.

  27. #8427
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    Normally, yes, this is the time of day when I desire a nap. Not today, though. Not sure why. Survey says: false.

    TNP thinks companies in the U.S. should bring back the six-day workweek, because people are getting too soft and lazy with their Netflix and their Hulus and their fast food.

  28. #8428
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    Nope. We already work harder and are more productive than people in a lot of other countries, lazy-American stereotypes notwithstanding.

    TNP wants to see the Downton Abbey film, or already has.

  29. #8429
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    Negative, Colonel. There are so few things I want to see among the current TV and movie offerings, it's almost depressing. I'd call it "meh, wait for the DVD"-itis but that's about as out of date as an expression as having the rocking pneumonia and the boogie-woogie flu.

    TNP normally laughs (inwardly) at people who try to predict "bubbles" of economic activity, but really would go so far as to say that the streaming model of content delivery is untenable. There are, one hopes, just too many old fucks like me and probably some of you who just are going to say "fuck it, I want to see this movie or whatever whenever I want, so I'll like buy some shit off some Chinese bootlegger in China who does DVDs off like eBay or whatever." I mean, strictly impartially as an observer and knowing a bit of the guts behind AWS (Amazon Web Services), they are very good at that. Their Dynamo database is very nice, and I trust that Werner Vogels (I think is his name, with no umlaut) has assembled a good crew up in Seattle. But, services, platforms, infrastructures delivered on contract....yes, that will be the way for corporate use. Not for consumers.
    Last edited by Jizzelbin; 01 Oct 2019 at 09:15 PM.

  30. #8430
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    Yes. Remember the four most dangerous words in economics: "This time it's different."

    TNP knew that Jimmy Carter is now the longest-lived former President in U.S. history.

  31. #8431
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    Didn't know it off the top of my head, but it doesn't surprise me.

    TNP still hopes Carter outlives the last guinea worm.

  32. #8432
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    Sure. What is a guinea worm? Vermicelli? Carter is much more remarkable.

    TNP has ever seen a can of "Billy Beer," or even drank some of it.

  33. #8433
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    Seen but not drunk.

    TNP has enjoyed a can of Olde Frothingslosh: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Regis_..._Frothingslosh
    Last edited by Elendil's Heir; 04 Oct 2019 at 02:31 PM.

  34. #8434
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    No, that sounds like not something I would like to drink. And that's before I followed the link. I've made many gallons of wine using Turbo yeast (it's designed for making a pure-sugar wash for use in distilling: it's only reason for being is that it ferments very quickly and the yeast is tolerant, supposedly, to pretty high alcohol content, such that after three or maybe four days, you could have, with the right temperature and conditions a 17% ABV or so content), and that sounds very similar. Thoroughly unhygienic, dirty, filled with dead yeast and, indeed "the foam is on the bottom." So, I advise people to avoid Olde Frothingslosh, my sugar-wash "turbo" "wine," and the Gennessee green death.

    TNP has recently (like in the past decade) left an insulting tip to a bartender (or manager acting as bartender) whom one knows by name and vice versa. Like, if you have four beers, you leave her a buck fifty. That kind of insulting, not like leaving a penny inside an inverted glass filled with water.

  35. #8435
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    No, never have. My sister and her friends once left a penny each for a waiter, though, when (a) they were kept waiting a very long time for no good reason before being seated at their table, (b) the waiter kept them waiting even longer before coming to take their orders, (c) he acted very rudely when he did, (d) the food took a long time, too, and (e) he got most of their orders wrong. He met them at the door as they left and very sarcastically said, "Oh, thank you so much," and they replied, "Oh, you are so welcome."

    TNP can easily imagine doing something like that.

  36. #8436
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    Oh. I mean, c'mon. I did that with the bar manager filling in for her barteneder in the episode I just recounted. I know her name is "Jen," and she knows I know that, and she knows not only my name, but my full legal name, my bank account information, and where I work, and probably everything else about me, but after five minutes of waiting with not only some cash extended in my hand, and my paperback Bach rolled under my elbow, while standing up, while having put on my outside-going jacket, I said, finally, "Jodi! How much do I owe you?" "—I'm Jen" "I know that, I just have to be going."

    THAT'S how you get a dollar-fifty tip. I'm sorry, Britt, if your shithead manager cheated you out of the additional three bucks I would have given you, but I guess you had to take a shit or whatever. NEVER let managers tend bar.

    TNP would, if restrained in an airplane unduly, and in need of urination, probably urinate on the seatback in front of one rather than contain the load in one's pants.
    Last edited by Jizzelbin; 05 Oct 2019 at 11:40 PM.

  37. #8437
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    Actually, I revise my answer. No, I wouldn't respond in kind, as in "You're so welcome." It's a valid response, but it's not something I would say. I am impressed that your sister got everyone in her party to agree to the same ruse, namely, one penny each. That's brilliant, and I would do that in a hot minute. But as for verbal response on exiting, while provoked, I would probably just have said in a very low voice, "That's a way a man can be measured," or something like that. Maybe even "How much do you cost?" (an old insult for talking to a French woman insinuating she is a prostitute). Something like that. I wouldn't play his language game. For better or worse.

    TNP is still in play.

  38. #8438
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    Peeing on the seatback rather than in my own pants? Yeah, I guess I might, if there was just no other way to get to the airplane's bathroom.

    TNP wouldn't work as a flight attendant for less than half a million dollars a year.

  39. #8439
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    False. I'd do it for six figures, you know. Plus bragging rights. That is a shit job, from what I can see, and dealing with shit people, all the fucking time. I wouldn't be surprised if some of them make about one hundred K per year, depending on where they are based at and all that.

    TNP is still kind of in awe of how big-rig truck drivers manage to hold their shit together, backing into loading/unloading docks, having the pressure that if you have one "accident" while driving, you're out out the business, persona non grata. They make good money, but it's a pretty high amount of psychological stress, in addition to the physical, technical demands. Is my guess, anyway.

  40. #8440
    Oliphaunt Rube E. Tewesday's avatar
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    Yeah, that's a job I wouldn't want, for sure.

    TNP is trying to figure out how much Halloween candy they need to buy.

  41. #8441
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    No, not yet, but soon. We usually have about a hundred kids come by (and sometimes see minivans disgorging kids from outside of the neighborhood to make the rounds of our nice, quiet street).

    TNP doesn't live on a nice, quiet street.

  42. #8442
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    Well, that's a big "sometimes it is, sometimes it isn't," Colonel. ~Ax(Qx ^ Nx). It's a private road, with a public address, and it has the amount of usual road repairs one would expect, which never get done. Well, shit, even on the main drags, they aren't fixing potholes either, so I guess I can't complain. Except I still think the county owes me the cost of two new tires because of their bullshit.

    There's a lot of incidental noise, from the coincidence of two or three major highways (depending on how you count it), and a bunch of fucking renters (as in, hundreds, maybe a thousand) who are making some small amount of noise with their pets and their people. The common clay from which America was born. You know. Morons.

    The TNP has put quite a bit of effort into thinking about and doing I guess you'd say "hand drumming." You know, not "air drumming," but like which hand covers the downbeat, and keeping a steady track of the overall metronome beat, so as to not drift too much

  43. #8443
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    Nope, not a bit. But I do "air drums" just about as much as I do "air guitar."

    TNP could do with a nap right about now.

  44. #8444
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    Yeah, that would be okay. Dull day.

    TNP likes hand-pulled noodles. A lot.

  45. #8445
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    I don't know what the difference is beween fresh noodles, extruded at home using brass dies or even a simpler hand-operated machine (or no machine at all, just cut by hand) and hand-pulled noodles. I'm sure they're pretty good, but I'm not sure I could tell the difference when they're cooked. Dried pasta serves me pretty well, just so long as I don't eat too many of them in one sitting.

    TNP is going to use the remaining months of this calendar year, up through Advent, to take care of some things he or she has been putting off. You know, lose some weight, renew some professional certifications/memberships, get finances locked down, do some deep cleaning of his or her dwelling, that kind of thing.

  46. #8446
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    No, I'm busy enough with day-to-day stuff I have no plans for back-burner stuff.

    TNP has big plans for the year-end holidays.

  47. #8447
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    Sure. I hope to be rid of this annoying week-long plus cold. I have my doubts: the phlegm and mucus just keep materializing, unwanted and unbidden. I have a pretty big hat size, and consequently a giant head full of enormous cavities, but it's an astonishing production. When symptoms are erased completely, probably get a flu shot. I think I'd like to get my teeth cared for, as well, once I can figure out if my very respectable dental insurance is actually going to pay for shit and not leave me and my dentist and hygeniest out to dry. Seriously, it's not one of those ACA medicaid companies, where you just go to whomever they assign you, they're supposed to pay for this shit. Fuckers.

    TNP thinks an 80% alcohol diet is probably not the best way to fight a cold/flu.

  48. #8448
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    Definitely. Vitamin C over booze anyday when you're sick.

    TNP prefers pineapple to orange juice.

  49. #8449
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    I'd say yes, but the pineapple juices I've had have been rather sweet indeed — best consumed in very small quantities. OJ is OK, but even the fancy stuff just doesn't seem quite as rarified and delicious.

    TNP would just as soon not eat any dish made of squash, given the choice. Nor play the ball+racket game of the same name, for that matter.

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