What songs would you like your worst enemy to hear over and over again?

[Hatshepsut]

The cruelest torture I can imagine would involve being forced to go through life with a 24/7 soundtrack consisting of:

Clair, by Gilbert O'Sullivan - heartfelt pedophilia at its finest!
Brand New Key, by Melanie - she's got ROLLER SKATES, and you've got a KEY. Nudge-nudge, wink-wink.
I Am Woman, by Helen Reddy - if she's still an embryo, with a long long way to go, why does she insist on singing to us now, instead of waiting until she grows up into a human being with a semblance of musical talent?

There are probably other candidates, but for someone I really hate I wouldn't want to lessen the suffering any by adding too much variety.

What songs should YOUR worst enemy endure?

[Malaky]

My very first thought reading the thread title was this:

The dance song "lilali" by Kimkay, a belgian singer who sings in mangled french. A hit in 1999. It's also an earworm song!

[Liberal]

Raindrops Keep Fallin' On My Head

[sublight]

Lovin' You, by Minnie Ripperton. That song is an ice pick dipped in treacle.

[RoOsh]

wut wut (in the butt)

'nuff said. It'd be fine for the first day. Then... they're suicidal as their brain cells rot out from the sheer inanity of it.

[maggenpye]

I'd pick their all time favourite song - especially if it had great emotional connections for them.

I'd want daily updates;

day 1, singing along
day 2, singing the chorus
day 3, looking puzzled, not singing
day 4, seems a little uncomfortable ....

and so on until I have destroyed not only their love for that song, but have given them a total aversion to any memories associated with it. Bwhahahaha!


Or, the Macarena.

[pepperlandgirl]

She's Like the Wind--Patrick Swayze.

His voice isn't bad, but the lyrics make me genuinely angry. "She's like the wind in my tree." and "Can't look in her eye/She's out of my leaaaggguuuueeeee!" Yeah, well, F-U Patrick.

[Rigamarole]

Rick Astley - Never Gonna Give You Up.

[MyOwnWorstEnemy]

Feelings

[AllWalker]

Crank Dat Soulja Boy

The "song" has the amazing effect of, if you listen to it once, it feels like you have listene to it 16 times. But not in a good way. It's an auditory abomination. The song even sounds like it was recorded in my kitchen, which doesn't help.

Yoooouuuu!

[criminey.jicket]

Muskrat Love by the Captain and Tenille

Muskrat susie, muskrat sam
Do the jitterbug out in muskrat land
And they shimmy
And sammys so skinny

[Claptree]

Barbie Girl by Aqua. It's catchy enough that they'll never get it out of their head. It's also shit, which isn't unimportant.

[jali]

I love you
You love me
We're a happy family
With a great big hug
And a kiss from me to you
Won't you say you
Looooooove
Meeeeeeee
Toooooooo

[OtakuLoki]

"It's a small world, after all..." On endless repeat.

[Rube E. Tewesday]

"Coward of the County" by Kenny Rogers. God I hate that song.

[vison]

All absolutely FABULOUS choices. I am gobsmacked at the level of wonderfulness!

But no one has brought up the ickiest one I can think of: "Seasons in the Sun" by Terry Jacks. You USAians might not know it - I don't know if this Excretion of Satan was allowed across the 49th. It is a Jaques Brel song, originally, and is almost as loathsome in French. All Brel is loathsome.

I was once at a big fashion fair in Hong Kong for 10 days. For 10 days I heard "Barbie Girl" all day long, played at top volume in a booth across the trade centre. If the place was crowded, it wasn't so bad, but first thing in the morning and late in the afternoon it was unbearable. We had a stereo in our booth and we cranked it up to drown out Barbie, but you could still hear it, off in the distance. Ghastly experience.

Coward of the County is awful, but "Ruby, don't take your love to town" is just as bad.

Man, there are a LOT of horrible songs. The titles are spilling across my brain in a long, nasty river of dreckiness . . . .

[dread pirate jimbo]

Muskrat Love by the Captain and Tenille

Muskrat susie, muskrat sam
Do the jitterbug out in muskrat land
And they shimmy
And sammys so skinny

Dammit! You beat me to it!

Yes, it's hideously awful and an earworm to boot. The perfect torture device. :twisted:

[featherlou]

"Bad Medicine" by Bon Jovi.
"Your love is like baaaaaaad medicine,
Baaaad medicine, it's what I need.
Whoa. Whoa. Whoa."

[What Exit?]

24x7 of Céline Dion should be sufficient torture. If the person is truly evil I would step it up to Barry Manilow.

[Laughing Lagomorph]

All absolutely FABULOUS choices. I am gobsmacked at the level of wonderfulness!

But no one has brought up the ickiest one I can think of: "Seasons in the Sun" by Terry Jacks. You USAians might not know it - I don't know if this Excretion of Satan was allowed across the 49th. It is a Jaques Brel song, originally, and is almost as loathsome in French. All Brel is loathsome.
. . . .

This song was pretty widely played on US radio at one point in the mid 1970s. I agree, its awful.

My votes: an obscure song by a band called Ween, the name of the song is "Push th' little Daisies":
http://www.lyricstime.com/ween-push-th- ... yrics.html

And of course "My Humps" by the Black Eyed Peas.

[Borborygmi]

Some fine choices here, to be sure, but 20 posts in and no one has nominated "In the Year 2525" by Zager and Evans yet? A pretty glaring oversight, frankly.

[Off-topic, because it's not the most unlistenable song in the world, but this Yank only just became familiar with the 1985 British hit "Clouds Across The Moon" by the RAH band (it's on a collection of 80s tunes I got recently). W.T.F.? And I used to think the Brits were cool.]

[danceswithcats]

No torture can be complete without Bobby McFerrin and Don't Worry, Be Happy.

[Myrnalene]

Claire is not about pedophila. :evil:

Morning Train by Sheena Easton.

[Badtz Maru]

Crazy Frog version of Axel F.

I hear it over and over (kids love to dance to it) and it's already driven me crazy.

[Taumpy]

Lots of great picks in this thread.

My choices would unfortunately be songs that are already part of my daily soundtrack, which for me is by far the biggest downside of working in retail.

"Welcome to My Life" - Simple Plan
"Everybody Loves you" - Josh Kelley
Anything by Kelly Clarkson, Clay Aiken, or any of the American Idol winners.

All of which I would kill for to be played during the month of December.

[Taumpy]

Also:

Brand New Key, by Melanie - she's got ROLLER SKATES, and you've got a KEY. Nudge-nudge, wink-wink.

"Fun" fact: This song wasn't supposed to signify anything sexual. According to Melanie, it was written in a moment of inspiration after eating a hamburger from McDonald's. I wish we had an eyeroll smiley for this.

[SmartAleq]

Clair, by Gilbert O'Sullivan - heartfelt pedophilia at its finest!

I have to take exception here--the song was written about his dog...

I'm a traditionalist--one minute flat of "It's A Small World" and I'd push the button to destroy the entire world if it meant I'd never have to hear it again.

[vison]

Clair, by Gilbert O'Sullivan - heartfelt pedophilia at its finest!

I have to take exception here--the song was written about his dog...

I'm a traditionalist--one minute flat of "It's A Small World" and I'd push the button to destroy the entire world if it meant I'd never have to hear it again.

Well, that's a tad over the top. A tad. Not too much, but, you know, a tad?

OTOH, I would do it to stop "Seasons in the Sun", so I am not judging you from some superior moral plane.

[Malaky]

Oh oh oh, I want to add this one!

"Un monde parfait" by Ilona Mitrecey.
A kid's song, with techno rythmes, sung by a 12 yo girl with a 12yo girl's voice and a 12yo girl's charisma. It was a big hit here in 2005.
My dad, who for example loved loved loved "Crazy Frog", used to play it to us a lot.

(we need a pukey smiley-- see folks, animated smilies do have their niche usage!)

So yeah, with this one and "Lilali", my foes better hide themselves well!

[Control-Z]

I came here to post "It's a Small World", but that's already been mentioned.

So instead I'll say "Who Let the Dogs Out?"

[Sarahfeena]

Afternoon Delight by the Starland Vocal Band would be a good one.

And does anyone remember Wildfire, about a horse that gets lost? Holy crap, that's lame.

[Ferret Herder]

"She ran calling Wiiiiilllllldfire!"

Edit: I swear I hadn't seen Sarahfeena's post, I was double-checking the lameness of the lyrics for myself. If your gal's pony runs off because there's a frost, and she runs off after it, and they probably died in the snow that came up after? You're better off without them. (Other post deleted, I can't tell the difference between "Edit" and "Reply w. Quote.")

[OtakuLoki]

What does it say about me that I'm thinking by the Buoys is too good for my enemy?

[featherlou]

What does it say about me that I have a whole bunch of these in my iTunes?

[OneCentStamp]

What does it say about me that I have a whole bunch of these in my iTunes?

We have met the enemy, and the enemy is us?

Anyway, if they repoened Abu Ghraib and handed it over to me, I'd put a rock block of Fergie on repeat: "Glamorous," "London Bridge," "Fergalicious" and "My Humps."

[Ferret Herder]

Anyway, if they repoened Abu Ghraib and handed it over to me, I'd put a rock block of Fergie on repeat: "Glamorous," "London Bridge," "Fergalicious" and "My Humps."

(Bolded by me for emphasis)
I'm pretty sure that's against the Geneva Conventions, man. My husband was looking for stuff in a sporting goods store and this song came on; he was far too amused by my pain. :evil:

[dread pirate jimbo]

What does it say about me that I have a whole bunch of these in my iTunes?

We have met the enemy, and the enemy is us?

Anyway, if they repoened Abu Ghraib and handed it over to me, I'd put a rock block of Fergie on repeat: "Glamorous," "London Bridge," "Fergalicious" and "My Humps."

C'mon, those songs are pure comic genius! Granted Alanis' cover of "My Humps" was even more awesomely funny, but still, they amuse me to no end.

[jali]

"She ran calling Wiiiiilllllldfire!"

Edit: I swear I hadn't seen Sarahfeena's post, I was double-checking the lameness of the lyrics for myself. If your gal's pony runs off because there's a frost, and she runs off after it, and they probably died in the snow that came up after? You're better off without them. (Other post deleted, I can't tell the difference between "Edit" and "Reply w. Quote.")

Is THAT what the songs about? I'll go look at the lyrics now - I remember the chorus. Wow!

[Vox Imperatoris]

Oh oh oh, I want to add this one!

"Un monde parfait" by Ilona Mitrecey.
A kid's song, with techno rythmes, sung by a 12 yo girl with a 12yo girl's voice and a 12yo girl's charisma. It was a big hit here in 2005.
My dad, who for example loved loved loved "Crazy Frog", used to play it to us a lot.

If that just had a better singer... It probably helps that I don't understand it, though.

[woodstockbirdybird]

All absolutely FABULOUS choices. I am gobsmacked at the level of wonderfulness!

But no one has brought up the ickiest one I can think of: "Seasons in the Sun" by Terry Jacks. You USAians might not know it - I don't know if this Excretion of Satan was allowed across the 49th. It is a Jaques Brel song, originally, and is almost as loathsome in French. All Brel is loathsome.
. . . .

This song was pretty widely played on US radio at one point in the mid 1970s. I agree, its awful.

My votes: an obscure song by a band called Ween, the name of the song is "Push th' little Daisies":
http://www.lyricstime.com/ween-push-th- ... yrics.html

I agree, "Push th' Little Daisies" would be a great torture song, but I actually love it.

I'd just use R. Kelly's "Trapped in the Closet", personally.

[OneCentStamp]

I'd just use R. Kelly's "Trapped in the Closet", personally.

Maybe if you want your enemy to die of old age.

[Sigmagirl]

"(I'll Be Glad When You're Dead) You Rascal You." Great song, but I agree with every word.

Die, bitch.

[Ferret Herder]

"She ran calling Wiiiiilllllldfire!"

Edit: I swear I hadn't seen Sarahfeena's post, I was double-checking the lameness of the lyrics for myself. If your gal's pony runs off because there's a frost, and she runs off after it, and they probably died in the snow that came up after? You're better off without them. (Other post deleted, I can't tell the difference between "Edit" and "Reply w. Quote.")

Is THAT what the songs about? I'll go look at the lyrics now - I remember the chorus. Wow!

Well that's my best guess! It sounds like, in the last verse, that his ghost GF and pony will be coming back for him.

[Cluricaun]

That Taylor Swift song about Romeo and Juliet and me stabbing Taylor Swift in the face with a pickup truck.

[EthelMercaptan]

Clair, by Gilbert O'Sullivan - heartfelt pedophilia at its finest!

I have to take exception here--the song was written about his dog...

:?: So the dog is asking if they can get married? Or is that the voices the guy is hearing in his head? Either way, I'm not sure singing those lyrics about the dog is much better than the pedophilia angle.

As for me, I'd put my enemy on an endless loop of the FreeCreditReport.com commercials.

[OneCentStamp]

Well that's my best guess! It sounds like, in the last verse, that his ghost GF and pony will be coming back for him.

"Ghost GF and pony?" Geez, what a f*ckin' loser.

[Malaky]

Oh oh oh, I want to add this one!

"Un monde parfait" by Ilona Mitrecey.
A kid's song, with techno rythmes, sung by a 12 yo girl with a 12yo girl's voice and a 12yo girl's charisma. It was a big hit here in 2005.
My dad, who for example loved loved loved "Crazy Frog", used to play it to us a lot.

If that just had a better singer... It probably helps that I don't understand it, though.

Haha, it's kinda like when I began to be able to understand song lyrics in english. For some, it enhanced my enjoyment of them, but for some others... :shock:

Though, although I diss those songs, I do have them on my hard drive!
Like "my humps"

[dread pirate jimbo]

As for me, I'd put my enemy on an endless loop of the FreeCreditReport.com commercials.

F-R-E-E
That spells Free
Credit Report dot com, baby!

Thanks a lot for sticking that frickin jingle in my head. Now I have to go pick-axe myself in the ear-hole to make it stop!

[OneCentStamp]

F-R-E-E
That spells Free
Credit Report dot com, baby!

Here, let me get that out of your head for you:

The say a guy should always dress
for the job he wants
So why'm I dressed up like a pirate
in this restaurant?

You're welcome! :mrgreen:

[Oliveloaf]

I find this to be one of the vilest of all musical pieces,

and I would gladly curse a worthy adversary with it in infinite solo rotation:

Orinoco Flow, Enya.

Not that there's any Enya that doesn't become water-board like at some point.