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Thread: The A to Z of Bad Habits

  1. #751
    Oliphaunt Jizzelbin's avatar
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    Shakespeatean usagr-img

  2. #752
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    Tearing out every third page of your neighbor's Collected Works of Shakespeat in outrage over the misspelling.

  3. #753
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    Using the word 'utilize' except as a diagnostician or fairy

  4. #754
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    Vacuuming up all of your Great Aunt Edna's Skittles before she's finished with them.
    Last edited by Elendil's Heir; 12 Jul 2017 at 01:25 PM.

  5. #755
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    Warning your neighbor in writing that she is a fat bitch, and taping it to a tree.

  6. #756
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    Xylophone-playing very loudly until 3am even though you know that your Great Aunt Edna has an important exam early that day.

  7. #757
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    Yelling quiet as can be while checking the mail, 'Why doesn't that bitch of a lady mailman stop flicking her bean and start delivering the fucking mail?!'y

  8. #758
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    Zebras, at least three dozen zebras, purposely stampeded through Great Aunt Edna's living room.

  9. #759
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    Announcing loudly that Floyd's going to put that MMA pussy McGregor into a coma.

  10. #760
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    Billing your extremely expensive visit to a Moscow bordello to the White House Travel Office account.

  11. #761
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    Culling the weak for later live practice.

  12. #762
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    Dumping your White House Chief of Staff as you step off Air Force One while he's still aboard.

  13. #763
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    Exciting your limbic system, and your neighbors.

  14. #764
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    Forgetting your grandchildren's names when they come for a visit.

  15. #765
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    Grabbing some Prince Albert and telling the cashier they modeled the can after my dick, just like the champagne glass was modeled from Antoinette's breast.

  16. #766
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    Heaving another passenger's annoying brat overboard while on a Caribbean cruise.

  17. #767
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    Getting a tattoo with all the answers to the state Bar exam encoded. Whoops.

    Inking yourself. Period.
    Last edited by Jizzelbin; 31 Jul 2017 at 01:10 PM.

  18. #768
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    Jonesing for a dozen blows to the head with a steel mallet.

  19. #769
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    kissin' cousins
    Last edited by A. Nonny Mouse; 27 Nov 2017 at 11:53 AM.
    This Space For Rent

  20. #770
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    Linking a Mellophant post to this:

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    Making a mountain out of a molehill-literally
    This Space For Rent

  22. #772
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    Never, ever picking up the tab when going out to lunch with your Great Aunt Edna.

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    Opening, peaking and resealing Christmas presents.
    This Space For Rent

  24. #774
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    Peeling open the skin of an infant on a heap of dung.

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    Questioning the authority of the judge while in court.
    This Space For Rent

  26. #776
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    Running down the aisle of the jet yelling, "We're all gonna die! We're all gonna die!"

  27. #777
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    Standing up and delivering the Indianapolis monologue from Jaws at a technology conference today.

  28. #778
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    Taking your adorable little niece's Christmas stocking and pooping in it.

  29. #779
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    Using hydrocodone without playing bebop on a piano or other instrument.

  30. #780
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    Vacuuming up everyone's Christmas candies before they've been eaten.

  31. #781
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    Wishing that library administrators weren't total boner assholes.

  32. #782
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    "Xylophones for everyone!" you scream over and over again as you run through the music store.

  33. #783
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    Yelling into everyone's available ear, "The internet is on crazy pills! Head for the hills!"

  34. #784
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    Zeroing in on everyone's most embarrassing character flaw, and criticizing them relentlessly on Facebook.

  35. #785
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    Acting antagonistic.

  36. #786
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    Belching very, very loudly as you meet Her Majesty the Queen.

  37. #787
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    Creaming butter, slowly, with your fingers, in a small bowl while awaiting instructions on the job.

  38. #788
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    Doing donuts on the immaculately-manicured lawn of your future father-in-law.

  39. #789
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    Easily stalling and grinding the future father-in-laws's new Maserati's transmission while gingerly moving it off your front lawn, where the bastard parked it.

  40. #790
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    Finding fault, loudly and insultingly, with your fiancee's personal habits during the first meal you share together with her and her parents.

  41. #791
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    Giving vaginal tightening cream to your fiancée's mother, explaining it did a lot for her daughter.

  42. #792
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    Hating on your fiancée's dad just because he's rich, handsome, successful and has a vestigial tail.

  43. #793
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    Introducing your fiancée's mother to vaginal tightening cream, by applying it vigorously with a wire brush and milky soft hands.

  44. #794
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    Jamming with a bass guitar turned up to 11 while your Great Aunt Edna is trying to nap.

  45. #795
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    Killing the vibe of indifference by talking with women about other woman, who may or may not have been in earshot: other women have ways of drawing the meat out of men.

  46. #796
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    "Liking" neo-Nazi pages on Facebook and sending links to your rabbi.

  47. #797
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    Milking the essences of various humans by hand. And collecting the residue.

  48. #798
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    Never, ever allowing your Great Aunt Edna to have any private time with her dates.

  49. #799
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    Onanistically admiring Rey without bothering to listen to a word she says. Just like a real girl.

  50. #800
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    Punishing your waiter with a tiny tip for not filling your water glass often enough despite otherwise-excellent service.

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