The A to Z of Bad Habits

[Jizzelbin]

Bitching about little kids playing baseball within earshot.

[Elendil's Heir]

Catapulting a watermelon into the path of an ongoing truck.

[Erictelevision]

Decapitating the truck driver.

[Elendil's Heir]

Eating his liver with fava beans and a nice Chianti.

[Trojan Man]

Feasting on the goo within his skull.

[Jizzelbin]

Grabbing a flame thrower and attacking a Little League game, bleachers first.

[Elendil's Heir]

Harvesting from organ donors before they're actually dead yet.

[Jizzelbin]

Irritating a school of fungus with antifungal cream.

[Elendil's Heir]

Jumping up and down on your best friend's new car's hood as hard as you can.

[Jizzelbin]

Kicking some major Russian ass, *Rambo III*-style

[Elendil's Heir]

Licking the stewardess's hand in gratitude when she brings your gin and tonic.

[Erictelevision]

Making her refill your drink continuously.

[Jizzelbin]

Niggling over details in an overheard conversation.

[Elendil's Heir]

Offering to undress and bend over while you're still in the doctor's waiting room.

[Erictelevision]

Peeing in a cup for your doctor

[Elendil's Heir]

Quite so, especially when he hasn't asked you to, and it's his coffee cup.

[Erictelevision]

Refusing to apologize.

[Elendil's Heir]

Shitting in his desk drawer for good measure.

[Jizzelbin]

Tickling the endangered ivory of the dropbear.

[Trojan Man]

Urinating on a bald eagle.

[Elendil's Heir]

Vacuuming in the living room while your sweetie is trying to watch a game.

[Erictelevision]

Wishing your sweetie 's team would lose.

[Elendil's Heir]

X-Acto-knifing priceless paintings when you visit the local museum.

[Trojan Man]

Yabbering about pizza and cakes while fat people strain themselves at the gym.

[Elendil's Heir]

Zoologically and loudly categorizing other people in line with you at the Wal-Mart.

[Erictelevision]

Accusing Wak-Mart shoppers of being "white trash".

[Elendil's Heir]

Beating up Girl Scouts when they are unresponsive to your complaints that the cookie boxes keep getting smaller, and the prices keep going up.

[Jizzelbin]

Coming into a Walmart loaded for bear.

[Elendil's Heir]

Doing everything you can to keep the people behind you from enjoying the movie.

[Erictelevision]

Eating your popcorn as loudly as possible.

[Trojan Man]

Farting and following through at a funeral.

[Elendil's Heir]

Going 80 mph through a school playground.

[Erictelevision]

Hitting kids playing kickball.

[Trojan Man]

Intimidating puppy dogs.

[Jizzelbin]

Jerking off a sleeping dropbear.

[Elendil's Heir]

Killing the dropbear when it spurts all over your best shoes.

[Jizzelbin]

Licking the sputum off a newborn dropbear's nose.

[Elendil's Heir]

Mangling a newborn dropbear with your lawnmower when it won't get out of the way fast enough, dammit.

[Jizzelbin]

Nuzzling the decaying corpse of a dropbear, ignorant of its having been Overrun by an Ozzie.

[Elendil's Heir]

Offering to go down on your sister-in-law at the family reunion picnic.

[Jizzelbin]

Pissing down the back of a dropbear from a high branch.

[Elendil's Heir]

Quietly being resigned to continued discussion of dropbears.

[Jizzelbin]

Retarding the development of a young dropbear. blame spitzer! he put the idea in my head, now it's all I can think of -- it's fucking great!

[Elendil's Heir]

Sexually stimulating a dropbear with garden shears.

[Jizzelbin]

Titillating an Australian while using proper strine english.

[Erictelevision]

Using a dropbear as a sexual aid.

[Jizzelbin]

Violating the hell out of a dropbear. Anally. With a pitchfork.

[Elendil's Heir]

Willfully putting a rabid dropbear in your Great Aunt Tilly's bed while she sleeps.

[Jizzelbin]

[b]X[b]ylophoning until the land of Oz goes to sleep. Dulcet tones, let me tell you -- otherwise the dropbears wake up. And they're one cuss of an animal!

[Elendil's Heir]

Yowling like a wounded dropbear, waking all your neighbors at 2am.