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Thread: The A to Z of Bad Habits

  1. #801
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    Queuing up a report for unpaid time off, because one is too upset by dealing with bullshit to get it up for the job.

  2. #802
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    Rogering the sweet young thing next door while her father is busy mowing the lawn.

  3. #803
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    Sweet-carressing the sweet-little twenty-nine right in front of her father.

  4. #804
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    Taking the last piece of cheesecake when Great Aunt Edna has been looking covetously at it for half an hour already.

  5. #805
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    Uniting a mob of angry young men.

  6. #806
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    Victimizing frat boys while they're blind drunk.

  7. #807
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    Whining about getting rogered when one is blacked-out drunk and passed out behind a dumpster.

  8. #808
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    Xylophone-shopping with your Great Aunt Edna and farting loudly every time the salesman asks if you need any help.

  9. #809
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    Yanking your wang out through the fly of your pants and pretending it was an accident.

  10. #810
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    Zooming on roller skates through your Great Aunt Edna's cribbage party, knocking the blue wigs of all of her friends askew.

  11. #811
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    Announcing, that there's, a man out there, crawling, on the wing of the plane.

  12. #812
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    Believing, oddly enough, that William Shatner and John Lithgow have both had the same weird airplane experience as you.

  13. #813
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    Chaining yourself to the mast of a sailing ship, for unknown purposes.

  14. #814
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    Deriding, in very insulting terms, the captain for refusing your advice to set fire to all the sails at once.

  15. #815
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    Executing an extremely harsh warning on nextdoor.com to one's offending neighbors.

  16. #816
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    Fleeing your Great Aunt Edna's third wedding while drunkenly taking the best of her wedding presents.

  17. #817
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    Grabbing Edna's womanly gifts in front of the bridal partly.

  18. #818
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    Hoarsely crying, "The groom is a lizard-man! The groom is a fucking lizard-man!" when the priest asks if anyone has any objections.

  19. #819
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    Ironically muttering under one's breath, "Quite a fan-club you got here, bartender at 10h00, of single young men. You have really cultivated the art of professionally pouring a beer. Whoever said bartenders were hookers with minimal standards was totally wrong, because it is a great profession. Just look at the movie Cocktail!"

  20. #820
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    Jitterbugging at funerals.

  21. #821
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    Killing a few highly-colorful jungle insects, crushing them with a mortar and pestle, and applying them to your woman's face as impromptu makeup. While she's asleep.

  22. #822
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    Licking the hands of all the women you meet.

  23. #823
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    Making sure the woman you're after remembers what's Carnival for.

  24. #824
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    Never, ever playing dead no matter how much your pet opossum begs you to.

  25. #825
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    Offering your wares by "forgetting" to zip your trouser's fly while running commando.

  26. #826
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    Preening to the tune of "Killer Queen" while going commando in the Vatican.

  27. #827
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    Quoting Quintilian to a Hamburger U. Amazon manager.

  28. #828
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    Rabidly pursuing Dame Judi Dench for a kiss, or even just a damn autograph, after she got the restraining order.

  29. #829
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    Sandbagging it while giving CPR to an unliked person.

  30. #830
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    Taking all the mints from the restaurant's dish at the front desk as you leave.

  31. #831
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    Undulating like a belly-dancer as you ask a gggggggggirl to break you off a piece.

  32. #832
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    Vigorously applying spackle to your Great Aunt Edna's toy poodle's posterior.

  33. #833
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    Wanking at a warehouse, while thinking of whoremongering.

  34. #834
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    Xebecs? Sink 'em or set fire to 'em the minute I step aboard.

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Xebec

  35. #835
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    Yammering on and on about various "girls with low self-esteem."

  36. #836
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    Zeroing in on Great Aunt Edna's phobias and trying to stimulate each one.

  37. #837
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    Admitting to stimulating the baby without regard for safety or much concern.

  38. #838
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    Betting against your little sister as she's competing in a high school gymnastics competition.

  39. #839
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    Cornholing your bosses verbally, in writing, in code.

  40. #840
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    Diligently sucking out the insides of jelly donuts and then putting them back on the bakery shelf.

  41. #841
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    Enunciating clearly, in public, that logic is for men and math is for nerds.

  42. #842
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    Fapping in the confessional

  43. #843
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    Going to mass while having received great quantities of The Blood of Pépé, i.e., unconsecrated wine.

  44. #844
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    Hacking down your Great Aunt Edna's favorite tree because "its leaves rustled too much"

  45. #845
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    Indicating to Edna that she is a crazy loon and belongs in a bughouse.

  46. #846
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    Jumping barefoot into your Great Aunt Edna's birthday cake.

  47. #847
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    Kicking Aunt Edna's cat so hard it flies out the window.

  48. #848
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    Liking Aunt Edna's cameltoe studied through her yoga pants.

  49. #849
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    Milking aunt Edna while she sleeps.

  50. #850
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    Noticing a faint bleached moustache on the otherwise comely niece of Aunt Edna and not being amused.

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