Unilaterally deciding a pretty girl should be talked to on the street in polite language.
that 'T' was unfairly good! The words painted the image! I'm a fraud!
Unilaterally deciding a pretty girl should be talked to on the street in polite language.
that 'T' was unfairly good! The words painted the image! I'm a fraud!
Wanking. Wanking all night long. On pretty girls on the streets.
yes, that is, according to our new authoritarian overlords, complimenting a woman on her appearance in polite language is sexual harrassment. There's some stupid video some moron made that did the rounds a while back.
X-ing out the eyes on every portrait in the Louvre.
Zoologically categorizing all of your coworkers in a loud voice in the break room.
Asking a woman if she frequents a place, much.
Boringly discussing 17th c. Bolivian sheep-herding calls with other people in the doctor's waiting room.
Cu&^-lapping Camille Paglia because of her assertion that she will vote for a third-party US presidential candidate.
Deciding Camille Paglia is even worth using a brain cell on these days.
Electing Camille Paglia for one of the very few public intellectuals who could be an effective, if controversial, public servant. Because she's awesome.
Finding Camille Paglia a small Third World country she may rule as supreme leader
Goading the disadvantaged with the promises of the Eucharist.
Heaving a salver full of Communion wafers into the Tiber and then daring the Pope to do anything about it.
Indicating indigo girls. Because they hate men pointing at them.
Jumping up and down on your Great Aunt Cynthia's priceless Ming vase.
Key-changing to Dvorak layout and finding out it really, really sucks.
Lobbing Santa out of his sleigh at 30,000 feet.
Milking your mother. Or anyone else's.
Noisily and noisomely pooping on an international flight.
Oiling up a baby for the New Year, with a full diaper.
Passing off the slippery, stinky baby to the first drunken lout you meet on the street just after midnight.
Quoting the child, "keep your fingers away from my goddamned cunt."
Retching all over the cop's shoes when she comes to arrest you for child endangerment.
Sticking your cock up her ass, you worthless cocksucking motherfucker.
Tainting the kindergarten class's milk with anthrax.
Vaulting over the barricades at the White House to throw a bag of Cheetos.
Wondering about who waxes and who doesn't in a house of God (or whatever).
X-Files binge-watching when you're supposed to be studying for your Medical Boards.
Yellowed stain of milky ejaculate, in a woman's hair, like a gentleman.
Zapping airline pilots with a ruby laser as they come in for landings.
Acquiring countable numbers of nominally-observant women.
Bitchslapping meter readers when they don't say "Pretty please" and bow to you three times before trying to read your electric or gas meter.
Cockbiting the biggest bull bitch in the prison.
Dithering over what to order at McDonald's while about two dozen people are waiting impatiently behind you.
French-kissing the President of the United States.
Goading a defective via text to kill his defective family, his executive business partner, and himself for the lolz.
Hacking open a beehive with a dull machete to get at the honey inside.
Inserting a live piscine into a Trojan Snapper.
Jogging alongside your neighbor and asking him to list the casts of all of his favorite TV shows ever.
Kicking ass and chewing bubble gum. All at the same time.
Looking inside your neighbor's mailbox and taking any interesting-looking envelopes for yourself.
Making terrible, pseudo-fascistic statements through a Shure SM57 and a PA speaker, which cannot be legally impugned, given the status of production of sound poetry for commercial and artistic benefit.
Nibbling the maraschino cherries off the tops of all of the desserts at a fancy buffet - but leaving the rest behind.
Putting fezzes atop all of the animatronic figures in Disney's Hall of Presidents.
Quoting, "no, but i kiss your mom's disgusting pigs ass you call a mouth every day twice before eating her pussy in front of you, you mewling quim"
Remembering, too late, that you've never actually heard anyone say that before, so you couldn't properly quote them.