Under what circumstances do you believe lying to be ethically justified?

[Skald the Rhymer]

In a thread on the other board about my agnostic/rebellious teenage cousin and her asshole fundamentalist parents, at least one person opined that she should flat-out lie to them about rejecting of their faith until she turns 18 and can move out. While I am not going to advise her to do so, that's mostly because I feel that, for me, that would be an unethical insertion of myself into their parenting authority. In fact I think that lying about her faith (or lack thereof) is the best option for her, given the circumstances in which she lives. I do not believe that truthfulness is an absolute virtue, because I don't believe in absolute virtues. I'm a contextual ethicist, by which I mean that you can only judge the rightness or wrongness of an action in terms of the environment in which it occurs.* I don't think telling the truth is the moral choice in every circumstance. In many circumstances, a person has a moral obligation to do so; in some, a person has an obligation to lie; and in still others, lying is neither good nor bad.

That brings me to the stop if this thread--which, by the way, is NOT my young cousin's situation. Rather, I would like to discuss under what circumstances you guys feel lying to be morally or ethically justified, and how how you make that decision.


*I say "contextual" rather than "situational" because I'm not comfortable with the connotations of the phrase "situational ethics." But that's another thread.

[Julie]

Lying to save a life is justified.

Social lying is fine with me--the "Oh, your baby is adorable" type of lies. I don't really like the "Oh, I can't go on a date with you tonight. I'm washing my hair" type, but that's not because I think it's necessarily wrong just foolish.

A kid lying to parents about religious beliefs? Fine with me. I'd say I think most lying is fine when it wasn't the person's business to begin with.

[Diana]

I believe lying is justified anytime someone asks you something that's none of their damned business. I usually can't be bothered, since I don't mind telling people that it's none of their damned business, but I also acknowledge that lots of people have perfectly good reasons to be less dismissive than I am.

[WhyNot]

Oh, well, now you've done it. This is the first simul-post between this and another board that I've been trapped in! I just happened to open the other one first. Well, I'd love to discuss it here and see if anyone has anything different to say.

My general rule is that if a lie will cause more harm than the truth will, I'll choose to lie. "Harm", of course, being determined by me, to the best of my predictive and inductive abilities at the time. Does this mean I sometimes get it wrong, and lie when I should have told the truth? Yep. But I think Never-Liars also get it wrong and tell the truth when they should sometimes lie.

If my friend asks me if her ass looks big in these pants, and we're on our way to the movies, I'll lie and say no to spare her feelings. If she's on her way to an interview with Vogue, I'll tell her the truth and help her pick out a more flattering outfit.

[fachverwirrt]

My general rule is that if a lie will cause more harm than the truth will, I'll choose to lie.

I'm assuming that you just reversed this, and you are not, in fact, WhyNot's evil twin (BecauseSo) in disguise.

[Julie]

Oh, well, now you've done it. This is the first simul-post between this and another board that I've been trapped in! I just happened to open the other one first. Well, I'd love to discuss it here and see if anyone has anything different to say.

Monkey fishbone underpaaaants!

Did someone say that in the other thread?

[WhyNot]

My general rule is that if a lie will cause more harm than the truth will, I'll choose to lie.

I'm assuming that you just reversed this, and you are not, in fact, WhyNot's evil twin (BecauseSo) in disguise.

Ah! Yes, indeed.

Or - uh - NO! No, not at all, I was merely auditioning to be a minion to a fabulous evil overlord, that's the ticket. :twisted:

(Sometimes, I are dumb. And, no Julie, I bet I can say with some certainly that your contribution was not repeated in the other thread.)

[Oakminster]

The consequences and the circumstances of the lie are important. I'm an officer of the Court. I will not lie to a judge, another lawyer, and certainly not under oath. On the other hand, I used to be in the military. Had I been captured and interrogated by an enemy, I'd feel perfectly free to lie my ass off. "Sure, Sadistic Interrogator, here's the secret plan...we will attack next Tuesday, at 9:00 AM, from the South"---knowing that the real attack is Sunday morning at 0-dark thirty from the East.

[jali]

If my friend asks me if her ass looks big in these pants, and we're on our way to the movies, I'll lie and say no to spare her feelings. If she's on her way to an interview with Vogue, I'll tell her the truth and help her pick out a more flattering outfit.

This is pretty much what I came in to say.

My general statement when the baby isn't cute is, "Oh! She's so sweet!"

[Phalanx]

I also think that lying to little children to spare them some type of emotional distress is OK. Enabling the myth of Santa Claus (a lie) is OK for a time when they are young.

I tend to prefer to tell the truth to my sons, especially my bright 7 year old about almost everything, but if he walks in on the wife and I having sex, for instance, and asks what we were doing, I'm certainly not going to tell him I was reaming Mommy's ass sideways.

[erislover]

Usually when I find that keeping the lie up is costless, like, I would always lie in this situation, so the pretense is not something that will slip. These situations are in practice quite rare, so usually I don't lie. It's way too much work to have to remember what one has lied about to whom. So I guess, it is ok to lie about the inconsequential (you look nice), and the extremely consequential (Mr Murderer, I saw him run thataway), but little inbetween.

[Jaglavak]

I was one of those who advised your neice to lie her ass off. Basically, if I am under duress I feel free to hand over any answer that won't get my ass kicked. I see nothing wrong with that.