I was asked to C & P my post from Board Voldemort (The Board That Must Not Be Named) as I was told I had some extra spe-shul insights to offer regarding Big Love. I am a former mormon and watch this show with great interest. Any other exmos/postmos around here are, of course, welcome to join me. I'll start threads on Monday mornings for the latest episodes.
First, a quick exmo vocab primer (I will use a lot of abbreviations and cutesy terms without thinking):
exmormon, exmo = someone who has left the mormon church, but may still be very angry about it all
postmormon, postmo = someone who has left the mormon church, but has gotten past the anger stage of cult recovery
nevermo = someone who has never been a member of the mormon church
TBM = True Believing Mormon, or True Blue Mormon
TSCC = The So-Called Church
Also, note that I refuse to capitalize "mormon" because I will not give the word enough honor or respect to consider it a proper noun. I'm an editor and am a bit prickly about things like that.
So, without further ado, here's some of my posts from Board Voldemort about last week's Big Love.
I was confused about Sarah, too.
First, Barb makes the observation that "we don't get to have control over our own bodies." Then Bill offers the car and, although he says it could take her to ASU, he says it's never too late to change your mind or your direction (good advice, methinks). So I thought maybe it was a bribe/manipulation attempt to keep her in Utah. Now it looks like she will make the choice to stay in the polygamy life, and choose not to have control over her body. WTF? I think I've missed something or that we will learn more about what Sarah's thinking in the next couple episodes.
One thing I can tell you is this: in mormon doctrine, there is only one sin considered worse than sex outside of marriage and that is murder. While not every mormon parent would react the same way mine would, I am really surprised that Sarah isn't in more trouble with Bill and Barb. A lot of mormon parents I know would still be railing, would make her go confess to the bishop, who would then impose some sort of sanctions or punishment until repentance was proven. I can tell you, if I'd miscarried at 17, before finishing high school or being married, I would still be grounded today and I'll be 40 this summer. It may seem like, to some of you, that Barb's reactions have been completely over the top, especially when she thought the BC pills were Sarah's. IME, that reaction is dead-on. As a mormon teenager, you can get past getting caught drinking a latte or something, but getting caught screwing? Like I said, the only thing worse would be if you were a serial killer. She's not in nearly enough trouble, so the car thing makes no sense to me.
Regarding this:
I agree with you, but that shouldn't ever/probably won't happen. God's plan (to them, not to me) is to grow the family and make as many bodies for souls as possible. (They believe there are souls in heaven awaiting their earthly bodies and it is their personal responsibility to provide those bodies as the souls are anxious to do their time on the temporal earth.) This is any mormon woman's mission in life. That's what you're taught from about age 2 onward. Clearly, Nikki and Margene are miserable and this life is not working for them... but they don't have any choice. They gave up their choice when they agreed to be polygamous wives. (And Nikkie, moreso than Margene, knew she was consigned to being a brood mare until menopause. She understood what she was signing up for. Margene maybe not so much.) This is why Bill reacted so strongly when he found out about Nikki's birth control. Not making babies when you are able to is considered tantamount to slapping god in the face and telling him to f*** off. It's just not done. So having a nice sit-down to talk about putting the brakes on the indiscriminate breeding, or not having any more kids altogether... well, first that would be counter to the purpose of a polygamous marriage, but more importantly, that would be a firm rejection of god's plan and for the faithful... it's just not done. They'll blame themselves for being weak and sinners before they will decide that god's plan just isn't a great idea and maybe they should have their own plan.Quote:
Originally Posted by Board Voldemort poster
I think they all need to sit down and have a frank conversation about "growing the family" and why it's not a good idea.
That's where that whole discussion came in with Margene's friend (the neighbor?) about how "we have to be perfect, don't we?" That is a classic mormon woman's dilemma and I'm very pleased with how accurate the writers seem to be showing this undercurrent that is very real in IRL mormonism (both mainstream and FLDS). That's one of the primary topics discussed on mormonism recovery boards: how the women are expected to have more children than they can handle and not really get to make many choices about the timing or number of children, or much of anything. Keep working, keep striving unto perfection, pray, pay, and obey.
[/soapbox]
Sorry. I get a little ranty. I'll close with a joke.
Q. Why do mormon women stop having children at 35?
A. Because 36 kids is just too many!