It seems a shame, to kill a thread on this new board

[ivan astikov]

Anyone got a squeegee and a bucket?

[Borborygmi]

Say what you want about ivan; the guy knows how to make an entrance.

[SmartAleq]

Say what you want about ivan; the guy knows how to make an entrance.

Huh, huh... that's what she said!

[ivan astikov]

Just to try and cement my claim as a threadkiller extraordinaire, I've just checked my Dope history and discovered I killed 15 of my own 101 threads!

So, unless you've got a better than one in ten kill rate, don't even try mixing it with me... or I'll pay a visit to your favourite thread. Grrrr...

[Giles]

So, unless you've got a better than one in ten kill rate, don't even try mixing it with me... or I'll pay a visit to your favourite thread. Grrrr...

No -- please, no -- Don't touch my pristine threads, unread, and unanswered! It would spoil my thread-killing claims.

[Cluricaun]

I smell of bourbon. Bourbon and win.

[silenus]

Nope, just of bourbon.

[Borborygmi]

Actually, when it's more than 160 proof like that it's not technically Bourbon.

[Cluricaun]

No, it's drag fuel with food coloring. I call it "Cluricaun's Extra".

[SmartAleq]

More like "Cluricaun's Extra Squishy Liver Squeezing Out His Butthole."

[Cluricaun]

Oh, you've seen the new label?

[SmartAleq]

So, my royalty check's in the mail then?

[Cluricaun]

It would be, but I can't seem to make it to the post office, what with this squishy liver falling out of my bunger all the while.

[SmartAleq]

Jaysus, suck it up, buttercup! Slap a maxipad on that bitch and get my my money! Lazy sod...

[jali]

Jaysus, suck it up, buttercup! Slap a maxipad on that bitch and get my my money! Lazy sod...

Stop trying to give him a happy period.

[SmartAleq]

Why not--men should have them too, it's only fair. Or give them a choice--either get a happy period or get a fat nutshot once a month.

[Hal Briston]

Man...I haven't killed a thread all month...

[Cluricaun]

Resolved: Those weird boneless rib shaped meat pattie things marketed under the BBQ Riblet type names are shamefully delicious.

[jali]

Resolved: Those weird boneless rib shaped meat pattie things marketed under the BBQ Riblet type names are shamefully delicious.

You again.

This thread is my confirmed kill. Discussing the deliciousness of a McFood has no place here.

[Cluricaun]

I don't even like the McD's ones. I like the ones that the Am/Pm gas stations sell. I'm sick.

How do you pronounce your username? With a hard "J" sound or a soft one? Jolly or Holly?

[SmartAleq]

Then again, McFood is a guaranteed killer, sooooo....

[jali]

I don't even like the McD's ones. I like the ones that the Am/Pm gas stations sell. I'm sick.

How do you pronounce your username? With a hard "J" sound or a soft one? Jolly or Holly?

Now I can hear, "...have a holly-jolly Christmas, it's the best time of the year...". Thanks C!

It's pronounce "jolly" most of the time.

It's pronounced "oh my god you're the best" at other times.

[Cluricaun]

Now I can hear, "...have a holly-jolly Christmas, it's the best time of the year...". Thanks C!

That same thing happens every time I see your name in a thread.

That's better than having Eye in the Sky by The Alan Parsons Project stuck in your head though. It's been in mine for three days now.

[SmartAleq]

If it's gotta be Alan Parsons, "Psychobabble" is a lot worse...

[Cluricaun]

I wasn't asking for additional suggestions love.

[gurujulp]

Fucking the thread to death sounds feasible--lemme get my strap on tool!

There is only one weak spot of this thread, and that is the eye. Once the thread's eye opens up, shoot a arrow there. This particular boss thread will take three hits. This thread does shoot balls out at you, so just dodge them.

Bolding mine- It doesn't sound like the thread is what's shooting the balls...

ps. Oh, and it's me that kills 'em. I will just mention my sweetie little daughter, and BAM!

[SmartAleq]

*Pffth!* Amateur...

[Cluricaun]

Every morning when I wake up, I think I'm Larry Hagman for around 15 minutes.

[SmartAleq]

That's okay, I actually AM Larry Hagman for about fifteen minutes after I get up. Sure makes taking that first morning piss an adventure...

[silenus]

Kristin, I believe that is your cue.





BLAM!

[Cluricaun]

Ow, fuck that stings! And don't call me Kristin.

[SmartAleq]

Put some ointment on that, ya big baby!

[Cluricaun]

Jesus lady, I've a liver falling out of my arse and now a gunshot wound. Give a brother a break, could ya?

[Giles]

Give a brother a break, could ya?

So, would you like that break in one of your legs, or in one of your arms? Which would go best with your other injuries?

[The Original An Gadaí]

Why didn't anybody send me a telegram? Thread is over.

[Cluricaun]

Why didn't anybody send me a telegram? Thread is over.

Because a telegram from the US to Ireland costs $19.95 plus $.88 per word.

[jali]

Why didn't anybody send me a telegram? Thread is over.

Because a telegram from the US to Ireland costs $19.95 plus $.88 per word.

Beat it kid.

[Cluricaun]

Gimmie my fish back first.

[SmartAleq]

You'd best spend your day hoping I don't beat you with that fucking fish because if I do you'll be pining for the days of JUST having your liver squishing out yer bum and the dripping gunshot wound, see if you don't!

[jali]

Gimmie my fish back first.

[whiney loud voice] MOM! MOM! Cluricaun won't leave me alone! [/whiney loud voice]

[jali]

You'd best spend your day hoping I don't beat you with that fucking fish because if I do you'll be pining for the days of JUST having your liver squishing out yer bum and the dripping gunshot wound, see if you don't!

I'm a little frightened of SmartAleq right now.

[Cluricaun]

Resolved: Spraying your girlfriend with Resolve carpet cleaner will not magically settle your differences.

[SmartAleq]

No, but it gives her that fresh, new carpet smell!

Don't worry, little girl, I won't hurt you... much...

[LurkMeister]

Gimmie my fish back first.

[whiney loud voice] MOM! MOM! Cluricaun won't leave me alone! [/whiney loud voice]

Don't make me turn this thread around and go back home!

[silenus]

No, but it gives her that fresh, new carpet smell!

Is it wrong that I immediately made this into a dirty joke?

[ivan astikov]

No, but it gives her that fresh, new carpet smell!

Is it wrong that I immediately made this into a dirty joke?

Did you incorporate excessive friction and 'carpet burns' in it?

[Cluricaun]

Ok, that's it. Threads over.

[SmartAleq]

Bullshit, we need to push this bitch up to four pages--THEN it can die!

Silenus, I would've been disappointed in you if you hadn't!

[Cluricaun]

One day, a farmer woke up to find that all 100 of his cows had died. Without his cows, he is ruined. So he goes to the nearby lake, and drowns himself.

The oldest brother wakes up, reads the note left by his father, and decides that life isn't worth living. So he goes to the lake to drown himself as well. There is a mermaid there. She tells the boy that if he can screw her 5 times, she will resurrect his father, and the cows. Anyway, the boy tries his best, but only can do it 3 times. So, she kills him.

The second oldest brother goes to the lake to drown himself, and the mermaid is there. She says that if he screws her 10 times in a row, she will resurrect his father, brother, and cows. He tries his best, but only can get it up 8 times.

The youngest brother then goes to the lake. The mermaid tells him that he must do it with her 20 times. He looks at her, bemused, and then says "What about 100 times? Or 200?"
The mermaid goes "Err, you think that you can handle it?"
And he replies "Sure! How do you think all the cows died???"

[fisheroo]

That's the best you got, boyo?