Mini-rants for a new era

[TheFlame]

I'm sick of seeing people write "Here, here" when they agree with something on a message board. Clearly you've heard the expression but never seen it written down - It's "hear, hear" you fucksticks.

I Dome (will that ever catch on) all the managers at my work who request things to be finished by "close of play" on a given date. What the fuck's wrong with "end" - a three letter word instead of a three letter acronym? Close of play sounds so fucking stupid - you're a middle manager in an office, not the captain of a cricket team.

Commuters of London: If you get on the bus and it's crowded with people standing downstairs, why the fuck don't you have a look see if there's any seats on the top floor? Are you scared the bus is going to hit a bridge or something? I almost always do unless I'm just going a couple of stops, and nine times of the ten there's free seats up there. The reason this is such a pain is that if the bottom floor's full the driver won't let any more passengers on. Waiting in the pissing rain for the bus then seeing it sail past the stop is really fucking annoying.

[featherlou]

You have my sympathy, jali. She sounds like she's using a difficult, complicated, poorly-understood sickness that people won't be able to pin her down on to game the system. That's pretty friggin' low.

(If you guys are getting blood test results on Monday for blood drawn Friday, that's really, REALLY efficient, especially for a specialty test like an antipolymer antibody test for fibromyalgia. Which is 50% accurate.)

[SpazCat]

(If you guys are getting blood test results on Monday for blood drawn Friday, that's really, REALLY efficient, especially for a specialty test like an antipolymer antibody test for fibromyalgia. Which is 50% accurate.)

I used to get my blood test results back the afternoon of the day I had it drawn.
Of course, that was over fifteen years ago and the tests were my weekly platelet check.

[Chimera]

People, please stop calling tech support telling me that your computer needs to be repaired and wanting me to set it up, when you're not at that computer and therefore cannot tell me what the serial number is so that I can verify warranty status, set up a repair, or even have you do anything to diagnose the problem.

I get several of these a day and it just pisses me off. I wish my extremely customer service sensitive company would let me - just for once - tell you how fucking stupid you really are.


Stop telling me that your computer is a piece of shit and you're tired of having to call us all the time over all the damned problems when I can look at the call log in front of me and see that every goddamned one of your calls was a software and/or user issue and not a goddamned one of them had anything to do with a hardware problem. You look like both an asshole AND a complete idiot.


I don't give a flying fuck if you purchased your HP printer or your microsoft software from our store. I still don't support it. Yelling about it won't help.

Go ahead, ask for my supervisor when I refuse to support some obscure third party software program that you bought at a flea market 10 years ago. He'll tell you the same thing I just did.


When you tell me that you dropped your laptop and broke the display, and I respond by telling you that it's not covered under warranty when YOU damage it, don't bother changing your story several times. It's still not going to be repaired under warranty.


No, we won't replace the battery on your five year old laptop that is four years out of warranty just because you think we should support our product to the end of time or because you own a lot of our products. Batteries are consumable devices, they don't last forever. Suck it up.

[Zuul]

Tonight I was out dancing and saw a somewhat shy looking guy watching the dance floor with a beer in his hand, looking lost and longing. He was vaguely cute, in a geeky sort of way, and I didn't have anyone to dance with, so I grabbed his hand and asked him if he had a date. He stammered no. I asked if he wanted to dance. He said he didn't know how to dance. I assured him that all he had to do was stand there and I'd make him look good. So I scooped his beer out of his hand, set it on my table, and dragged him out onto the floor. He turned out to be a much better dancer than he gave himself credit for once he loosened up and it was a lot of fun. Maybe not an epic to write home about, but certainly a good memory of an enjoyable night out.

So after the dance, he walked off and I saw him talking to a woman at the bar who stuck her hand in his back pocket, then handed him something. I didn't know what that was about and thought perhaps he'd mislead me when he said he didn't have a date. After a few minutes, I brought his beer back over to him and told him he'd left it at my table. We talked briefly and though he had a stutter which slowed things down, I thought he was cute. Then he said the girl had shown him "how easy it was to get ripped off."

I was somewhat shocked by this and quickly checked my pockets to be sure my money was still there, before we continued talking. After a while, I wished him a good night and headed back with the rest of my party. Moments later, he showed up at my table and set himself down uninvited. Well, okay, so he was loosening up and being a bit less shy. That's great. Oh, except he was sitting down to ask me if I took the money that girl had handed him. I gave him a shocked look and said, no, I thought his friend had just been demonstrating how he could be ripped off, not that he had been ripped off. How could she give him money that someone else had? He continued sitting there at my table, giving me a vaguely intimidating vibe of silent accusation, so I ended up grabbing the rest of my party and leaving. Unfortunate, since I'd liked the guy up until that point.

Hey dumbass, here's a hint: accusing all women who hit on you of being out to get your money is a good way to never get a date with one. I'm not so attractive as to be able to get away with being some sort of sex-appeal based con-artist, so you must have really low self-esteem if you think I'd have to be faking it to ask you to dance.

And to the chicky who stuck her hand in the guy's pocket: Look, if you had a thing for him and wanted to keep him from hooking up with someone else, that's fine, but don't do it by making him paranoid about women in general. An insecure nutbag is not good boyfriend material and in the end you're only hurting yourself.

[featherlou]

We just drove home on our local highway at about 40 km/h because of the blowing snow causing 0 visibility for half of the hour long drive; the weather on the Weather Channel online (headquartered in Toronto)? "Snowfall warning for Calgary." Maybe you could be a little more specific, like, "DRIVING IN YOUR CAR RIGHT NOW CAN FRIGGIN' KILL YOU!" That might help people.

[SpazCat]

I wish I could destress without explosive decompression.

[SilverTygerGirl]

When will my sister clue in to the fact that I don't want to talk to her? EVER. I want nothing to do with her at all. Seriously, when all our conversations are shorter than five minutes (often because she insists on calling at WORK), that's a clue. When I never initiate contact with you, that's a clue. When I've told you that I don't want to spend time with you, well that's a big clue. But NO.

[iampunha]

Dear AP writers and editors:

I know y'all are busy watching your business lose money, but if you could read your own styleguide and heed some of the bigger points in it so I don't have to rewrite your articles, that'd be smashing.

For example, please note that if Corporation comes at the end of a business name, it's Corp., but if it comes anywhere else, it's Corporation. It is thus not Peanut Corp. of America but Peanut Corporation of America.

Jr. and Sr. do not take commas before them. Ever.

Five percent. That's the only situation where you don't write 5 percent -- when it begins the sentence. This is not difficult.

If the state in your dateline is not one of those that gets kept whole -- Utah, Hawaii, Alaska, Maine, Iowa and a few others -- put it in AP like a good little cog. San Bernardino, Calif. Saves time on typing, see?

And not an AP point but an "Are you sure you get paid to write" point: If coal is spilling out of the ground somewhere in Montana, I know that's the only exciting thing going on in Montana, but you still don't get to say it's literally spilling out. If it's spilling out, it's spilling out, and saying anything more about that is redundant.

I realize it's annoying to have to check your own work before you go work on another story I can't imagine you care about, but I shouldn't have to scour your crap for this stuff -- someone else should have removed it all.

[Pixiesnix]

Mom, I love you very, very much. But there's something that needs to be said...

When you tell a story, please leave out all the little details that you think are pertinent, because they're not. This goes triple for office stories. I don't work for the military, and so I have no idea what a AMC MAJCOM Disgruntled Wombat-D form is. I don't want to know what it is. And I don't need to know that Jim in Computing filled one out in a story about the office Christmas party. You see my eyes glazing over? That means I've stopped paying attention and am just nodding and smiling until words stop coming out of you.

And then I say something about Gloria Estefan.

[featherlou]

When will my sister clue in to the fact that I don't want to talk to her? EVER. I want nothing to do with her at all. Seriously, when all our conversations are shorter than five minutes (often because she insists on calling at WORK), that's a clue. When I never initiate contact with you, that's a clue. When I've told you that I don't want to spend time with you, well that's a big clue. But NO.

I'm not quite as disinterested in my younger sister, but she doesn't take clues either. I've told her flat-out I prefer to communicate by email; if she phones, I may or may not pick up, and I may or may not return the call in a day or two. If she emails, she gets a response immediately (next time I'm on the computer). Does she email me? No, she phones. Does she check her emails? No, she doesn't. I get that her preferred method is phone, but if there's something you want to communicate to me immediately, use what you already know is my preferred method, don't use the method you know I don't like.

Part of the reason I don't like talking to her on the phone is that she goes on and on and on, really likes the sound of her own voice, and doesn't listen to anyone else very well. It's a bit of a chore to talk to her on the phone. She does that thing your mom does, too, Pixie, where she has to tell every little detail of the story. Abridged version, please! I don't know these people and I don't care - " A guy I used to work with" is all I need to know.

Here's a good example of talking to her on the phone; I was going through a really rough patch, leaving a bad job with a bad supervisor, and I needed to vent and get some advice. We talked for about an hour; in that hour, we talked about my stuff for about three minutes, and the rest of the time about her life. At the end of the call, she said, "Well, I hope I helped you with your job situation." I almost laughed out loud at that - yeah, that three minutes you generously didn't talk about yourself made all the difference in my life.

You know, it appears I might have a few issues with her.

[kudzu]

I would like to pit:

a) The guy I just went out on a date with. What a waste of an evening. I would have rather stayed home and played video games. I thought you were an interesting guy, but now I'm tempted to sue you for false advertising.

b) Bunny poop. It's everywhere. I am not pitting my bunny, just his poop.

c) Girl Scouts, and how none of them have come to sell me any cookies. Not a one came to my home, nor have any Mothers accosted me at the office to buy their daughter's cookies. All I want are those peanut butter sandwich ones...

[iampunha]

And then I say something about Gloria Estefan.

Are you disputing that Gloria Estefan invented the AMC MAJCOM Disgruntled Wombat-D form?

Do you want to debate me on this?

[Jeff]

We just drove home on our local highway at about 40 km/h because of the blowing snow causing 0 visibility for half of the hour long drive; the weather on the Weather Channel online (headquartered in Toronto)? "Snowfall warning for Calgary." Maybe you could be a little more specific, like, "DRIVING IN YOUR CAR RIGHT NOW CAN FRIGGIN' KILL YOU!" That might help people.

Look on the bright side, if you were out here trying to drive in a zero visibility snowstorm, you'd be going almost exactly 0 km/h. For about 6 hours, give or take.

[Ferret Herder]

Yappy teenage boys. Who knew they could be as bad as teenage girls?

I was playing World of Warcraft over the weekend, and some of my guildies are 14-year-old boys. There's nothing necessarily wrong with that, except these guys talk all the freaking time. Talk talk talk talk. I'm used to using our Ventrilo server just for communication about what we're doing in the group - which direction to go next, strategy, warnings (stop moving or more monsters will see us, stop this thing from hitting me), and maybe a little chat if things are quiet. These guys are yapping constantly. Food, sports, the ph@t l3wt they saw on some other character, how they should set up their character after the new patch, blah blah blah even if we're in the middle of something intense and I'm trying to concentrate. Hey, I'm getting old(er), I need to pay attention to stuff. (Well, they do too, they were making mistakes from lack of attention as well.)

It's just the sheer amount of talking, though, that gets on my nerves - having all of that piped into my ears was just too much after a while. I just had to say "OK, no more dungeon runs, I need some time off from that" and go off by myself.

[featherlou]

We just drove home on our local highway at about 40 km/h because of the blowing snow causing 0 visibility for half of the hour long drive; the weather on the Weather Channel online (headquartered in Toronto)? "Snowfall warning for Calgary." Maybe you could be a little more specific, like, "DRIVING IN YOUR CAR RIGHT NOW CAN FRIGGIN' KILL YOU!" That might help people.

Look on the bright side, if you were out here trying to drive in a zero visibility snowstorm, you'd be going almost exactly 0 km/h. For about 6 hours, give or take.

I'm not sure which is worse; driving in a blizzard or stuck in traffic in a blizzard. At least we were moving, even if it was scaring the shit out of us!

Weather today: -24ºC, with light snow. Mother Nature, you really are a bitch. We don't need weather like this at the tail end of winter when we're all squirrelly with cabin fever.

[NinetyWt]

Last month:

Review Agency Drone: "Change these reach lengths on this model and re-submit".

Me: "OK. Here is the compressed file. Rename the extension from ".abc" to ".zip" and you can unzip it. This prevents your server from stripping the attachement from my email".

- No response from RAD until today -

Today:

RAD's Supervisor: "Change these reach lengths on this model and re-submit".
Me: "I sent that to RAD last month. Here it is again."
RAD: "This doesn't work".
RAD's Supervisor: "Did you try the instructions?"
RAD: "Oh. Gee, it works now."

What a maroon! That's right, sit on it for a month because you CANNOT FOLLOW INSTRUCTIONS. :evil:

[Chimera]

What a maroon! That's right, sit on it for a month because you CANNOT FOLLOW INSTRUCTIONS. :evil:

I get that all the time. Someone will call up and ask about doing something. I look at their stuff and see that they spoke to someone a month or so ago about the same issue and were provided with instructions on how to do it. I ask if they followed those steps. No, and most often they didn't keep the instructions either. So I walk through those instructions with them and miracableu! it works!

Of course, almost as often I get the (usually frustrating to deal with) customer who was given instructions by a previous agent that were very clearly "get out of my face" instructions meant to sound like you're helping him while you're not. On Saturday, I had an 80 year old man who was incredibly frustrating to deal with. But all he was trying to do was to be able to open the movie files (of his 80th birthday party) that his grandkids had made and sent to him. Well, he'd called a few weeks earlier and that agent had merely told him to have them send those files in a different format. No real help there. Instead, I guided him through downloading a free third party software package that was able to open them. The sun practically shone through the phone when he opened the files and was able to view the movies of his birthday party. He was so happy that I think he may have been crying.

[criminey.jicket]

Instead, I guided him through downloading a free third party software package that was able to open them. The sun practically shone through the phone when he opened the files and was able to view the movies of his birthday party. He was so happy that I think he may have been crying.

C'mere ya big lug so I can plant a smooch on ya. :!:

[OtakuLoki]

First off, let me offer my sympathy for all of you dealing with aggravating sisters. I feel for all of you, because my sister is continuing to find ways to step on my nerves.

And I'm not sure how much of it is deliberate, and how much is just accidental.

For the background she's always had a little problem with listening to other people, once she's made up her mind, and this past year it's been particularly bad. I'll admit I've got my own problems, and she has reasons to scrutinize my behavior. But that's different from saying that she has every right to discount every thing I tell her about our father's condition, or my mother's. Then there was the whole fun with the great facility hunt for Dad, when she came up for one weekend during the month that Mom was in the hospital and rehab center, and I was caring for someone who has the judgment of a toddler and the incontinence issues of a baby. And her only direct communication during that whole time was: "You need to not talk to me right now."

I've had problems with her before this, and will later. But at this point, I feel that she's killed any relationship we might have had beyond being polite to keep from hurting our parents.

Of course, I suspect she may be feeling the same way. She'd managed to tell my father and my mother that she's now three months pregnant. I have never gotten a single direction communication on that. At all. I've offered my congratulations, and all I got back was, "thanks."

So, I really do get the whole "I'm done with my sister" thing.



Speaking of things I'm done with: I'm also done with trying to correct my father's clean up habits. Fortunately, come next Monday he'll be in an assisted living facility. But what on earth sort of thought process does someone have to follow when one has a bowel explosion in one's apartment, and then one changes, cleans up oneself, and then leaves the apartment without telling anyone about the fecal matter sitting on the rug? Especially in an independent living facility where they do have a cleaning staff for just such emergencies?

That skips over the whole "Secrets Man Was Not Meant to Question" for how the Hell he managed to leave feces where he did without getting them on his wraps, pants or any underwear. I'm boggled by this, but I don't want to know. I really don't.



On a less aggravating level, I also want to take my mother to task,too. She's got a reputation for freaking out if receipts are not where she expects them to be. It's gotten so bad that I refuse to file any receipts for her, because of the ration of shit I'll come into when they aren't where she thought they were supposed to be. I had to come and pick up a receipt for some of the furniture for Dad's new apartment today. And we'd both known exactly where the receipt had been. I came in to get the receipt, and found the folder where it had been wiiiiiiide open, and no receipt.

And the kitchen table strewn with an accumulation of papers. (She has also, for as long as I've been alive, blamed the accumulation of papers on the kitchen table on my father, myself, or my sister. It is sweet to see those papers piling up in huge mountains when she's now living alone and there's no one at all, at all, whom she can blame them on. Besides herself.) I ask her where the receipt might be and I'm told it's on the kitchen table. This news fails to fill me with joy.

What the Devil is wrong with simply keeping the damned receipt where it had been, where we both knew where it was, until it was needed?



Oh, what the Hell.

And a hearty fuck you to the Kami of scheduling. Why does the only delivery truck available to deliver my dad's new bed have to show up the very day I'm first going to be allowed to start putting together the furniture in his new apartment (like, say, the new headboard for his bed) - during the same time frame I have a long scheduled doctor's appointment, too? And nothing can be changed!

ARRRRGH!


(Lookit the invisible pink monkey! It's dancing and gibbering again! )

[featherlou]

Bitch (or bastard), you don't park in front of someone else's electrical cord that they are obviously using to plug in their car right around the time when everyone comes home from work. Go park in front of your own damned house.

And someone else has parked in front of the neighbour's house, where the lady of the house who is in a wheelchair gets on and off her Handi-bus. Both cars look kind of familiar, so I think they are neighbours who should know better than to do what they're doing. Is today International Park Like An Asshole Day?

[pepperlandgirl]

My students are driving me batshit. I have posted an EXTENSIVE assignment description sheet as well as a daily schedule. We've been sticking to said schedule. I explain everything in class. Multiple times. And yet, I've got five bucks that says there will still be a handful of people who just Do. Not. Get. It. "Email me your assignments by Thursday at 5:30." That's not an ambiguous sentence, is it? I thought it was pretty straight forward. Why are they having such difficulty with it?

[MsRobyn]

Is today International Park Like An Asshole Day?

Every day is International Park Like An Asshole Day, at least in my neighborhood.

[kolga]

Why are they having such difficulty with it?

Because you didn't call them or email them personally on the due date to remind them. Seriously. I am dealing with this right now with some of my students. In one class, 6 of 22 students turned in an assignment on the due date and in the format required (hard copy for grading AND electronic copy for sending through turnitin.com). I asked them "WTF?!" and, one of them said "you didn't remind us." I pointed out that I had reminded them, the class period before the due date (Monday due date, so previous class period had been Wednesday), and hand to God/Goddess/Cthulu, another said "well, maybe you could call or email us on Sunday night to remind us?"

I thought the phrase "seeing red" was hyperbole. To the rest of the students' credit, they saw the impending explosion and immediately corrected their peer.

Idiots.

[pepperlandgirl]

I pointed out that I had reminded them, the class period before the due date (Monday due date, so previous class period had been Wednesday), and hand to God/Goddess/Cthulu, another said "well, maybe you could call or email us on Sunday night to remind us?"

I thought the phrase "seeing red" was hyperbole. To the rest of the students' credit, they saw the impending explosion and immediately corrected their peer.

Idiots.

Oh my God. I just...oh my God. I would have been close to losing it, too! I guess I shouldn't be shocked, but I am. Right now, my biggest problem is that my students don't know how to email me assignments. As in, I've had to walk them through the "attach a document" process several times. And I'm not dealing with older, non-traditional students who have never worked with computers before. These are all people who are more than capable of checking their email in class--but somehow sending one is a little beyond them.

[Pixiesnix]

Are you disputing that Gloria Estefan invented the AMC MAJCOM Disgruntled Wombat-D form?

Do you want to debate me on this?

Well, the AMC MAJCOM Disgruntled Wombat-D form does have to do with copper piping...

And now, a new rant.

Once again, I am learning new ways in which I am smarter than my bosses.

According to our new "5-S" system, each cashier who works an evening shift is responsible for cleaning certain lanes, refilling those lanes' supplies, and making sure all is ready for the next day. The cashier who leaves at 8:30 p.m. is responsible for cleaning and refilling lane 6. However, the midnight cashier is on that lane until (you guessed it) midnight. The midnight cashier has no responsibility for making sure lane 6 is clean or ready for the morning.

So when that lane becomes filthy from use and is not ready for the morning, who gets yelled at and written up? The 8:30 cashier.

The only two ways the 8:30 cashier can make sure the lanes are clean/replenished after the midnight cashier befouls them are as follows:

1. Stay after his or her shift until midnight (for no pay) and make sure the lanes are ready.

2. Somehow alter the laws of physics to bilocate and clean (again for free) the lanes for the morning while simultaneously staying at home, causing a rift in the space/time continuum and killing us all.

And then they took our break room soda machine away, making us now pay a dollar more for a soda.

I hate my job.

[dread pirate jimbo]

Bitch (or bastard), you don't park in front of someone else's electrical cord that they are obviously using to plug in their car right around the time when everyone comes home from work. Go park in front of your own damned house.

And someone else has parked in front of the neighbour's house, where the lady of the house who is in a wheelchair gets on and off her Handi-bus. Both cars look kind of familiar, so I think they are neighbours who should know better than to do what they're doing. Is today International Park Like An Asshole Day?

Baby, if it makes you feel any better, the snow which was on our sidewalk has now been shoveled onto the bitch's (or bastard's) car.

[OtakuLoki]

Baby, if it makes you feel any better, the snow which was on our sidewalk has now been shoveled onto the bitch's (or bastard's) car.

:idea:

You shoveled the snow onto the car.. wouldn't it be more entertaining to shovel the snow into ramparts (well, speed bumps) around the car? And then pour some water on the walls you've put up around the car?

:twisted:

[XJETGIRLX]

Is today International Park Like An Asshole Day?

Isn't that every day? I plan to buy some of these stickers soon: http://www.iparklikeanidiot.com/

[Chimera]

More Driving Mini-Rants;

Look folks, there's a big difference between Cautious Slow and Stupid Slow.

You DO NOT come to a complete stop when driving up an icy hill in traffic.

The entire reason they give you that big long on-ramp is so that you can get up to speed and merge smoothly with traffic at the current speed of that traffic. It is not so that you can dial your cell phone, talk to your kids, putter with your shit, all at 15mph, right up until you're next to the flow of traffic.

[SpazCat]

Oh my God. I just...oh my God. I would have been close to losing it, too! I guess I shouldn't be shocked, but I am. Right now, my biggest problem is that my students don't know how to email me assignments. As in, I've had to walk them through the "attach a document" process several times. And I'm not dealing with older, non-traditional students who have never worked with computers before. These are all people who are more than capable of checking their email in class--but somehow sending one is a little beyond them.

I work part-time in the reference section of the library and I've had to help many older students figure out how to attach their assignments. I don't mind. I like them, they're nice. The younger students, though, I can't stand. They're arrogant enough to think that just because they got straight A's in high school they can ace college. I do so enjoy watching their faces when they realize that you have put your whole ass into the assignment, not just half of it.

[Lady Xoc]

One of my housemates borrowed my cast iron skillet then washed it with soap.

I'm just the tiniest bit bent out of shape about it. :evil:

[XJETGIRLX]

One of my housemates borrowed my cast iron skillet then washed it with soap.

I'm just the tiniest bit bent out of shape about it. :evil:

Oh, no, no, no, no! You let them live after that?!

[Lady Xoc]

One of my housemates borrowed my cast iron skillet then washed it with soap.

I'm just the tiniest bit bent out of shape about it. :evil:

Oh, no, no, no, no! You let them live after that?!

My fault for not educating first, I guess. But still. My poor baby is in the oven with some Crisco.

[dread pirate jimbo]

Baby, if it makes you feel any better, the snow which was on our sidewalk has now been shoveled onto the bitch's (or bastard's) car.

:idea:

You shoveled the snow onto the car.. wouldn't it be more entertaining to shovel the snow into ramparts (well, speed bumps) around the car? And then pour some water on the walls you've put up around the car?

:twisted:

More entertaining, to be sure, but more work than I was prepared to invest when it's -23C outside. Besides, that's MY spot and I didn't want to make things hard on me once I reclaim my rightful place in the universe. But I will keep that suggestion in mind for any future opportunities to mete out swift snow shovelling justice.

[pepperlandgirl]

It's wrong to murder students with my bare hands. It's wrong to murder students with my bare hands. It's wrong to murder students with my bare hands.

Workshop day in class today for final paper! Half of class missing, and the other half don't have their drafts. Why? Because I wasn't here last week to remind them to look at their syllabus.

Seriously.

[XJETGIRLX]

To my current client: Just because you don't understand a particular technology does not mean it's not the best tool for the job. Take a few minutes and actually learn how to use one of the most ubiquitous tools out there for this specific purpose. I promise, Microsoft Word is not that scary.

Adobe Acrobat really is not the best way to create reports that will be continually edited, revised, and manipulated, things that you need to keep track of versioning information on, and reports that need to include portions of other documents. It was not meant as an authoring tool for this sort of thing. You can create your report from the Word template I provided you, and then save it as a PDF when you're done. You can even insert other PDFs into the Word document, and Excel and image files, too. Really, just like I said and wrote in the instructions I already sent you.

I'm more than happy to waste your money trying to put together something passable in Acrobat, but I promise you this is not what you want. This is why I am called a consultant, because I get paid to provide you with information and advice in my areas of expertise. I am advising you now that this is a stupid idea.

Where's a :headsmack: smiley when you need one?

[dread pirate jimbo]

It's wrong to murder students with my bare hands. It's wrong to murder students with my bare hands. It's wrong to murder students with my bare hands.

I'm not convinced of the veracity of this statement, especially given the circumstances. But perhaps some hint of the message will be sent when half the class fail the assignment?

[featherlou]

Serious question for pepper and kolga - is this a result of helicopter parenting, do you figure? These kids have never had responsibility for anything in their lives, and they seriously don't get the concept of being responsible for their own schedules?

(XJETGIRLX, your rant made this administrative professional laugh out loud. Yes, client, do your document in Acrobat. Perfect. )

[XJETGIRLX]

(XJETGIRLX, your rant made this administrative professional laugh out loud. Yes, client, do your document in Acrobat. Perfect. )

I hate Acrobat and everything associated with PDFs with a vengeance. I have yet to see a compelling enough argument for their existence.

[MsRobyn]

(XJETGIRLX, your rant made this administrative professional laugh out loud. Yes, client, do your document in Acrobat. Perfect. )

I hate Acrobat and everything associated with PDFs with a vengeance. I have yet to see a compelling enough argument for their existence.

PDFs do serve some purpose. They're wonderful for those documents that you don't want people messing with, like forms. They're also great for documents that have been formatted for a program that isn't universal, like MS Publisher; one person can use Publisher to produce the document, save it as a PDF, then e-mail it to others for distribution.

[XJETGIRLX]

(XJETGIRLX, your rant made this administrative professional laugh out loud. Yes, client, do your document in Acrobat. Perfect. )

I hate Acrobat and everything associated with PDFs with a vengeance. I have yet to see a compelling enough argument for their existence.

PDFs do serve some purpose. They're wonderful for those documents that you don't want people messing with, like forms. They're also great for documents that have been formatted for a program that isn't universal, like MS Publisher; one person can use Publisher to produce the document, save it as a PDF, then e-mail it to others for distribution.

As I said, I have yet to see a compelling argument for their existence. I submit that all of those things can be done better by means of other applications or processes.

[MsRobyn]

I don't doubt that there are other ways to do it. My experience is with document management in an academic setting. We had to assume that students have Reader because it was installed on every computer on campus, and it's available as a free download, so it's easy to install on a student's own computer. So when a document had to go to hundreds or thousands of people, it was much easier to just generate a PDF and send it out that way than it was to develop another process or require the purchase of another application.

[XJETGIRLX]

I don't doubt that there are other ways to do it. My experience is with document management in an academic setting. We had to assume that students have Reader because it was installed on every computer on campus, and it's available as a free download, so it's easy to install on a student's own computer. So when a document had to go to hundreds or thousands of people, it was much easier to just generate a PDF and send it out that way than it was to develop another process or require the purchase of another application.

I'm not arguing that it's the easiest way to do things, since most people will have a copy of Reader (or can easily get one). I just think that the format itself sucks, and does not deserve its place as a standard. It's bloated, severely limited in its capabilities, and incredibly inefficient.

[MsRobyn]

I'll give you that.

[dread pirate jimbo]

Y'know, some days I really resent the backlash that occasionally is part of my job. When I require someone to perform their work safely, in an effort to keep them out of the hospital or the fucking morgue, I don't always appreciate the bitching and whining and complaining about how difficult I'm making their lives. I also really don't appreciate how when some idiot puts their life in jeopardy on my watch, I wind up with a half day of extra work on my plate.

Today, we had a moron doing granite installation on my jobsite, a good 30' up a wall on a scaffold, without being tied off. Our company policy -- and the provincial legislation -- requires a worker to use fall arrest at 10' or higher. I have also had a paramedic inform me that a fall from 11' or more can cause you to impact the ground with enough force to dislocate internal organs, causing you to bleed out and eventually die, even if you are able to stand up and walk away from the fall. That's a bad potential scenario. So anyway, when one of our site superintendents stops this guy and pulls him down off the scaffold, he and his whole crew freak out. "We'll never get this work done if you keep making us follow these stupid rules!" and so forth. And now that I have the report into our computer system, my boss wants me to do a trend analysis report that indicates what safety infractions have occured and by which subtrades for the entire duration of the job (2+ years). That should only take the rest of the afternoon, when I should be out there ensuring the safety of the rest of the site.

Hey! Here's an idea! Why don't you assholes who don't want to follow the rules get the fuck off my site and never come back, 'cuz I don't actually give a shit whether you live or die, so long as you do it far, far away from me. I'm way past the point of ever expecting praise for my job, but I certainly don't need any grief from you slack-jawed pinheads.

[pepperlandgirl]

Serious question for pepper and kolga - is this a result of helicopter parenting, do you figure? These kids have never had responsibility for anything in their lives, and they seriously don't get the concept of being responsible for their own schedules?

I would say yes, except that the make-up of my classes is a good mix of teenagers and adults. And the adults give me just as much grief as the younger kids. They should absolutely know better, but they apparently don't. Or they don't care. It makes me wonder if my students who work as well need a manager hovering over them, constantly reminding them to do their jobs.

[featherlou]

<snip>I would say yes, except that the make-up of my classes is a good mix of teenagers and adults. And the adults give me just as much grief as the younger kids. They should absolutely know better, but they apparently don't. Or they don't care. It makes me wonder if my students who work as well need a manager hovering over them, constantly reminding them to do their jobs.

From what I'm seeing and hearing, yes, they do. The young people seem to be developing a very different work style - they work hard at the assigned task, then stop dead and sit like a robot until you assign the next one, or they talk and IM and text constantly instead of working, either of which requires a supervisor to constantly be giving them direction or telling them to work.

The adults I can't explain. Does the phrase "due diligence" ever come up in your discussions of your job responsibilities with your supervisors?

[McNutty]

I just think that the format itself sucks, and does not deserve its place as a standard. It's bloated, severely limited in its capabilities, and incredibly inefficient.

Are you talking about the file format or the application? Because I'll agree that Adobe Reader is bloated and sucky, but the PDF format itself? You'd need to understand the core purpose of it (which it sounds like you don't) in order to make that claim and have it make any sense.

[XJETGIRLX]

I just think that the format itself sucks, and does not deserve its place as a standard. It's bloated, severely limited in its capabilities, and incredibly inefficient.

Are you talking about the file format or the application? Because I'll agree that Adobe Reader is bloated and sucky, but the PDF format itself? You'd need to understand the core purpose of it (which it sounds like you don't) in order to make that claim and have it make any sense.

No, understand the purpose quite well. When I said "bloated, etc." I was referring specifically to Acrobat.

As for the format itself, I think it's more the widespread and unnecessary use of it in favor of simpler, more elegant solutions that bothers me. Everyone in the world thinks that PDFs are the appropriate format for anything they might want to distribute. No one bothers to really consider their audience and the media for their message. PDFs are not the appropriate format for everything.