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Thread: The indefensible position --"Hawaiian " pizza is great

  1. #1
    Oliphaunt Rube E. Tewesday's avatar
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    Default The indefensible position --"Hawaiian " pizza is great

    Inspired by Esquire magazine's occasional feature, "The indefensible position"

    Whenever people on the internet discuss pizza, you can rest assured that no one likes Hawaiian style pizza. It's a subject of ridicule. Who is so forsaken by God as to put pineapple on their pizza, the cry goes up. Well, I going to get up and say "My name is Rube E Tewesday and I likes me some pizza with ham and pineapple." The sweetness and texture of the fruit blend beautifully with the acidic tomato sauce, and the ham adds an extra element of flavour. Yum, yum.

    Any feelings on the subject of Hawaiian style pizza, or similar indefensible positions?

  2. #2
    Elephant CRSP's avatar
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    Default Re: The indefensible position --"Hawaiian " pizza is great

    I can't understand the hate for Hawaiian pizza, neither. I love pineapple on pizza. (In fact, there isn't any readily available topping for pizza that I don't like: mushrooms, ham, pineapple, etc. All good.) What I can't understand are the animals that put a fried egg on top of their pizza. Now, that's strange.
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    Oliphaunt jali's avatar
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    Default Re: The indefensible position --"Hawaiian " pizza is great

    Can't.
    Understand.
    Listed.
    Concept.
    Words.
    Hurt.
    (ow!)


    Must be product of my overactive imagination. I can't believe that someone would ruin a perfectly good pizza.
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  4. #4
    Stegodon
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    Default Re: The indefensible position --"Hawaiian " pizza is great

    I personally don't like pineapple - not the taste the texture. So, I do like the taste of hawaiin pizza - if it's ham and pineapple juice with the pieces picked off.

    I used to work at a pizza joint. Hawaiian was one of our top sellers - I would say #3. There must be a lot of fans of that pie.
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  5. #5
    Oliphaunt Rube E. Tewesday's avatar
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    Default Re: The indefensible position --"Hawaiian " pizza is great

    Quote Originally posted by CRSP
    I can't understand the hate for Hawaiian pizza, neither. I love pineapple on pizza. (In fact, there isn't any readily available topping for pizza that I don't like: mushrooms, ham, pineapple, etc. All good.) What I can't understand are the animals that put a fried egg on top of their pizza. Now, that's strange.
    Fried egg? Is that a British thing? But...all of a sudden... I'm going "I wonder what that would be like" ... of course, as someone who thinks raw seal heart is good eatin', I guess I'm just not a picky eater.

  6. #6
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    Default Re: The indefensible position --"Hawaiian " pizza is great

    I likes me some Hawaiian pizza, but most of the pizza joints around here use the thinly-sliced-read-a-newspaper-through type of ham.

    So now I order my Hawaiian pizza with Bacon instead of Ham.

  7. #7
    Oliphaunt
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    Default Re: The indefensible position --"Hawaiian " pizza is great

    I've encountered egg as a pizza topping in Brittany and Normandy - a whole egg broken over the rest of the topping, then baked with the pizza. As to Hawaiian, I'd eat it when working a weekend in the office when they used to order pizza in for us, but I don't order it myself; generally I've been more of a meat feast or extra hot or seafood depending on mood. Also, I used to like calzone.
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  8. #8
    Oliphaunt Baldwin's avatar
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    Default Re: The indefensible position --"Hawaiian " pizza is great

    Why do people pretend their specific taste in food is some kind of law? Obviously, a lot of people do like Hawaain pizza, or it wouldn't still be on the menu at thousands of pizza restaurants. I enjoy it, myself.

  9. #9
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    Default Re: The indefensible position --"Hawaiian " pizza is great

    Quote Originally posted by Malacandra
    I've encountered egg as a pizza topping in Brittany and Normandy - a whole egg broken over the rest of the topping, then baked with the pizza.
    I too have had egg on pizza in France, but I couldn't say narrow down the location. Lovely idea, though.

    Hawaiian, on the other hand, is just unpleasant. I like ham, I like pineapple, but the two do not go together for me. I suppose it could be worse; a truly Hawaiian pizza might have spam on it.
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    Oliphaunt jali's avatar
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    Default Re: The indefensible position --"Hawaiian " pizza is great

    Quote Originally posted by Baldwin
    Why do people pretend their specific taste in food is some kind of law? Obviously, a lot of people do like Hawaain pizza, or it wouldn't still be on the menu at thousands of pizza restaurants. I enjoy it, myself.
    Sir - do you challenge the established law of jali-taste?

    (that was pretty much a joke post above - not funny I suppose :cry: )
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  11. #11
    Oliphaunt Rube E. Tewesday's avatar
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    Default Re: The indefensible position --"Hawaiian " pizza is great

    Quote Originally posted by jali
    Quote Originally posted by Baldwin
    Why do people pretend their specific taste in food is some kind of law? Obviously, a lot of people do like Hawaain pizza, or it wouldn't still be on the menu at thousands of pizza restaurants. I enjoy it, myself.
    Sir - do you challenge the established law of jali-taste?

    (that was pretty much a joke post above - not funny I suppose :cry: )
    I took it as a joke post, don't worry. What I find interesting is that eating Hawaiian pizza seems to be kind of like using hookers -- the evidence is that it's very common, but who admits to it?

    (OK, maybe not the greatest analogy in the world, but I think you get my point)

  12. #12
    Elephant
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    Default Re: The indefensible position --"Hawaiian " pizza is great

    I don't like ham, and I'm kind of lukewarm on the whole pizza thing, but I don't mind pineapple on it. Shrimp and pineapple is even better, but not many pizza places around here have shrimp. Of course, they don't have pineapple, either.

    Robin
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    Stegodon
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    Default Re: The indefensible position --"Hawaiian " pizza is great

    Ew gross. I hate pineapple on pizza. But I have a whole system that precludes my mixing fruit or sweets with sour or salty. As in: there must be no sugar coating or fruit glaze on ham. There can be no sweet and sour chicken from the Chinese restaurant. There can be no sweet cornbread served with peas. Sweets are for dessert.

    Believe me, I'm not as much of a pain in the ass to eat with as you would think.
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    Oliphaunt jali's avatar
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    Default Re: The indefensible position --"Hawaiian " pizza is great

    Quote Originally posted by Rube E. Tewesday
    Quote Originally posted by jali
    Quote Originally posted by Baldwin
    Why do people pretend their specific taste in food is some kind of law? Obviously, a lot of people do like Hawaain pizza, or it wouldn't still be on the menu at thousands of pizza restaurants. I enjoy it, myself.
    Sir - do you challenge the established law of jali-taste?

    (that was pretty much a joke post above - not funny I suppose :cry: )
    I took it as a joke post, don't worry. What I find interesting is that eating Hawaiian pizza seems to be kind of like using hookers -- the evidence is that it's very common, but who admits to it?

    (OK, maybe not the greatest analogy in the world, but I think you get my point)
    I don't judge. Hookers serve a need.
    They weren't singing....they were just honking.
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    Oliphaunt
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    Default Re: The indefensible position --"Hawaiian " pizza is great

    I'm another Hawaiian pizza fan. But I have to admit, I have one "abomination" that I like even better: Barbequeish sauce (it's not like you dump a bottle of Sweet Baby Ray's on there, you just make a pizza sauce that's mated with a barbeque on some drunken evening) with chicken, bacon and pineapple. Stole that idea right from Papa John's, I did! Heavenly.

    (Oh, and hi. Yeah, it's me, WhyNot from the SDMB. Cute little board ya got here. Thanks for the invite!)
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    Maximum Proconsul silenus's avatar
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    Default Re: The indefensible position --"Hawaiian " pizza is great

    Ham and pineapple is meh. Pepperoni and pineapple, OTOH, is superb! It's one of my defaults at Papa John's, for when the wife is away. Hit it with a ton of red pepper flakes and we are talking about Bachelor Nirvana, Delivered Food Division.
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    Oliphaunt Rube E. Tewesday's avatar
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    Default Re: The indefensible position --"Hawaiian " pizza is great

    Pepperoni and pineapple...pepperoni and pineapple....hmmm...what are washin' that down with, silenus?

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    Free Exy Cluricaun's avatar
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    Default Re: The indefensible position --"Hawaiian " pizza is great

    Hawaiian pizza is best when they use BBQ sauce instead of tomato sauce. I like it just fine, the same as I do it's hispanic cousin Taco Pizza (which must be made with a corn crust) and it's gay Italian cousin the pizza that has broccoli and chicken and alfredo sauce. But really none of them are.........pizza. Pizza has to have pepperoni on it.
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  19. #19
    Stegodon
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    Default Re: The indefensible position --"Hawaiian " pizza is great

    Quote Originally posted by Rube E. Tewesday
    Pepperoni and pineapple...pepperoni and pineapple....hmmm...what are washin' that down with, silenus?
    Apparently his dignity.

    Jesus people. Pineapple? Shrimp? BBQ Sauce?

    Seriously.
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  20. #20
    Oliphaunt Rube E. Tewesday's avatar
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    Default Re: The indefensible position --"Hawaiian " pizza is great

    So, Shellibean,I'm takin' you for a straight pepperoni, accompanied by a Budweiser type?

  21. #21
    Stegodon
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    Default Re: The indefensible position --"Hawaiian " pizza is great

    I'll even go so far into hippie territory as to go for fresh mushrooms and green olive and fresh tomato pizza. As for the beer, I'm not a snob. I'll take the Bud lite. Favorites will always be Sam Adams (no, it doesn't matter what type) or New Castle. Or Yingling.

    Just give me a beer.
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  22. #22
    Elephant
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    Default Re: The indefensible position --"Hawaiian " pizza is great

    I usually only eat pineapple plain, and in Hawaii*.
    I don't like Hawaiian pizza, but I can understand its appeal. The fact that it's my older brother's favorite has nothing to do with it. Nothing.

    If I were to be a true snob about it, I'd say the only acceptable pizza toppings are meat products, with consideration given to meat-complimenting items. However, I've recently discovered how awesome Pizza Margherita is, so I'm a total hypocrite.

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    Administrator CatInASuit's avatar
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    Default Re: The indefensible position --"Hawaiian " pizza is great

    Ham and pineapple on a pizza is nice.

    Tuna, though, now that's delicious.
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  24. #24
    Maximum Proconsul silenus's avatar
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    Default Re: The indefensible position --"Hawaiian " pizza is great

    Quote Originally posted by Rube E. Tewesday
    Pepperoni and pineapple...pepperoni and pineapple....hmmm...what are washin' that down with, silenus?
    Usually a lager of some sort. I really feel bad about guzzling Pilsner Urquell with pizza, but that was all I had on hand last time. Most times I have Shiner or Full Sail Ltd. on hand as well, just for pizza.

    BBQ pizza is also quite good when I'm in the mood. Chicken, onions, bacon make the best topping for one of those.
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    Oliphaunt Baldwin's avatar
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    Default Re: The indefensible position --"Hawaiian " pizza is great

    We haven't resolved anything here. Y'know, whenever I discuss something in the Guggenheim, I feel like we're just going round and round.

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    Default Re: The indefensible position --"Hawaiian " pizza is great

    I just met Pizza Dude at the door. He gave me my beloved cheese, sausage, mushroom and fresh tomato deep dish pizza. Why sully it with a pineapple? I save that for sweet 'n' sour chicken!

  27. #27
    Stegodon
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    Default Re: The indefensible position --"Hawaiian " pizza is great

    I like pineapple on pizza, but not ham. My pizza toppings are always green pepper, onion, diced tomato and pineapple.

    I don't even like pepperoni after it's been in a pizza oven.

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    Default Re: The indefensible position --"Hawaiian " pizza is great

    True Hawaiian pizza would be topped with poi.

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    Default Re: The indefensible position --"Hawaiian " pizza is great

    Pineapple on pizza is about as defensible as raisins in a curry.

    I.E. not at all.

  30. #30
    Elephant TheFlame's avatar
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    Default Re: The indefensible position --"Hawaiian " pizza is great

    I like Hawaiian pizza, but I don't have it very often because my local pizza place doesn't do ham (its Muslim-run).
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    Content Generator AllWalker's avatar
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    Default Re: The indefensible position --"Hawaiian " pizza is great

    Pineapple on a pizza is good. My complaint is that if anything, Hawaiian is boring. Needs more than just ham and cheese, and maybe a few spices in the base.

    I need flavour.
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  32. #32
    The Apostabulous Inner Stickler's avatar
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    Default Re: The indefensible position --"Hawaiian " pizza is great

    I lurves me some hawaiian pizza and don't particularly care if no one else does. More for me. Now I'm hungry. *Ransacks kitchen*
    I don't think so, therefore I'm probably not.

  33. #33
    Oliphaunt
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    Default Re: The indefensible position --"Hawaiian " pizza is great

    Quote Originally posted by AllWalker
    Pineapple on a pizza is good. My complaint is that if anything, Hawaiian is boring. Needs more than just ham and cheese, and maybe a few spices in the base.

    I need flavour.
    Red pepper flakes on Hawaiian pizza take it from very good to sublime.
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  34. #34
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    Default Re: The indefensible position --"Hawaiian " pizza is great

    I was firm, adamant, unyielding in my disgust for the idea of Hawaiian pizza. Pineapple? On pizza? What, you were raised by wolves? Fruit-ivorous wolves?

    Then, my best friend convinced me to try a bite.

    It was...not bad. I finished the slice.

    Now, I will...occasionally eat a slice of Hawaiian pizza.

    But only after reiterating the "raised by fruit-ivorous wolves" line.

  35. #35
    Builder Why I Am a Destiny's avatar
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    Default Re: The indefensible position --"Hawaiian " pizza is great

    I love Hawaiian pizza. In fact, it's pretty much the only kind I ever order.

    Hawaiian Pizza = 10

    Any other pizza = 6
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  36. #36
    The Queen Zuul's avatar
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    Default Re: The indefensible position --"Hawaiian " pizza is great

    The last time I got into a discussion on this topic, I came up with a great combination to try for my next pizza (I can't remember what all went on it aside from the pineapple and some sort of exotic sauce...either buffalo wing sauce or barbecue).

    And then, after eating it, I discovered my sensitivity to pineapple has not been outgrown and my mouth swelled up.

    :cry:

    It's great, but I have to remember to precook the pineapple well to destroy the enzymes that I'm sensitive to, or else...pufferfish mouth!
    So now they are just dirt-covered English people in fur pelts with credit cards.

  37. #37
    Member Scarlett67's avatar
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    Default Re: The indefensible position --"Hawaiian " pizza is great

    I love Hawaiian pizza -- and as someone else posted, it's pretty much all I ever order. I'm not fond of most "traditional" pizza toppings: megameat, peppers, mushrooms, onions -- yuck. Luckily, though Mr. S likes regular pizza, he's willing to get Hawaiian with me pretty much all the time. At least we agree on crust -- thick bready crust, none of that cracker stuff.

  38. #38
    Stegodon
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    Default Re: The indefensible position --"Hawaiian " pizza is great

    I like Hawaiian pizza, and I order it maybe once every four or five times I order pizza. The salty-sweet-acidic combo is great. I do like to add jalapenos to it, though...
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  39. #39
    Oliphaunt
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    Default Re: The indefensible position --"Hawaiian " pizza is great

    Quote Originally posted by Caerie
    The last time I got into a discussion on this topic, I came up with a great combination to try for my next pizza (I can't remember what all went on it aside from the pineapple and some sort of exotic sauce...either buffalo wing sauce or barbecue).

    And then, after eating it, I discovered my sensitivity to pineapple has not been outgrown and my mouth swelled up.

    :cry:

    It's great, but I have to remember to precook the pineapple well to destroy the enzymes that I'm sensitive to, or else...pufferfish mouth!
    Canned pineapple works great for this. The heat needed for safe canning denatures those enzymes that give you (and I) pufferfish mouth.
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  40. #40
    The Queen Zuul's avatar
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    Default Re: The indefensible position --"Hawaiian " pizza is great

    Quote Originally posted by WhyNot
    Quote Originally posted by Caerie
    The last time I got into a discussion on this topic, I came up with a great combination to try for my next pizza (I can't remember what all went on it aside from the pineapple and some sort of exotic sauce...either buffalo wing sauce or barbecue).

    And then, after eating it, I discovered my sensitivity to pineapple has not been outgrown and my mouth swelled up.

    :cry:

    It's great, but I have to remember to precook the pineapple well to destroy the enzymes that I'm sensitive to, or else...pufferfish mouth!
    Canned pineapple works great for this. The heat needed for safe canning denatures those enzymes that give you (and I) pufferfish mouth.
    Yeah, and usually that's what I eat, which is why I had assumed I'd grown out of that sensitivity. This was pineapple from the cooler at the deli I work at, however, instead of from a can I opened at home and was apparently too fresh for me. Thank goodness the canned stuff is usually okay, too, because I love pineapple like nobody's business.
    So now they are just dirt-covered English people in fur pelts with credit cards.

  41. #41
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    Default Re: The indefensible position --"Hawaiian " pizza is great

    I like pineapple and ham quite well. I prefer tomato and basil (that's with slices of cherry tomatoes on it, thank you very much, not regular tomato slices (too mushy) or cherry tomato halves, as those disrupt the balance of the slice [as in, you pick it up when it's still hot, and the tomato falls off, bringing cheese with it]). Really the only thing I don't like on pizza is mushroom, because cooked mushrooms taste and feel vile in my mouth. Raw is fine, but I don't think you can really have raw food on a pizza before baking and have it taste the same afterwards.

  42. #42
    Stegodon
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    Default Re: The indefensible position --"Hawaiian " pizza is great

    I like Hawaiian pizza. I used to be one of those "Ew! Pineapple on pizza?!" types until I tried it. It has to be hot, though. Can't stand the taste of cold cheese and pineapple. I'll have to try it with BBQ sauce now.

  43. #43
    Stegodon
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    Default Re: The indefensible position --"Hawaiian " pizza is great

    My partner and I eat an ungodly amount of pizza.

    Pepperoni, black olives, and pineapple.

    It doesn't matter where we go, that is what we get. Occasionally we'll stray to creamy garlic chicken or just plain pepperoni. But if a pizza place can't get our "usual" right, we don't ever go back.

  44. #44
    Elephant
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    Default Re: The indefensible position --"Hawaiian " pizza is great

    In college, my friends and I would order pizza close to three times a week, and during freshman year we went through a phase of ordering Hawaiian. After about a month, I don't think we ever ordered it again.

    It's not so much that pineapple was bad (we all liked it), but there were so many things that went together on a pizza better that we figured life was too short for mediocre pizza.
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  45. #45
    Elephant
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    Default Re: The indefensible position --"Hawaiian " pizza is great

    The reason Hawaiian pizza causes such polarization is that normally, when you order a pizza and you have to compromise, you pick off what you don't want, but when the right-thinking pineapple haters pick pineapple off their pizza, they discover that IT STILL FUCKING TASTES LIKE PINEAPPLE. That shit leaks everywhere.

    All pizza should follow the "no fruit, no fish" rule.

  46. #46
    Stegodon
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    Default Re: The indefensible position --"Hawaiian " pizza is great

    I hate Hawaiian pizza because I hate pineapples. That's pretty unusual, though. I remember that Hawaiian pizza would always be present at pizza parties when I was a kid.

    Quote Originally posted by Rabid Renaissance
    creamy garlic chicken
    Somehow, without looking at your location, I knew you were from NorCal just from these three words.

    As for me, I loves me some pesto pizza with fresh tomatoes and broccoli, or barbeque chicken pizza, but I usually just go with straight-up pepperoni on plain old red sauce. I've never turned down pork on a pizza since my Orthodox Jewish phase.
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  47. #47
    AWESOME SAUS Elyanna's avatar
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    Default Re: The indefensible position --"Hawaiian " pizza is great

    My boyfriend's favorite pizza is Hawaiian.

    I think it's okay, but I'd much prefer a combo with tons of veggies and meats. Chicken Alfredo pizza is marvelous, too, but it's a bit more work. Mm, mm pizza!
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  48. #48
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    Default Re: The indefensible position --"Hawaiian " pizza is great

    There's a place up the street from me that makes a specialty pizza that's pineapple, various meats, onions and maybe something else. It's absurdly delicious. Straight ham and pineapple leaves me meh, though.

  49. #49
    Stegodon
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    Default Re: The indefensible position --"Hawaiian " pizza is great

    Quote Originally posted by ShelliBean
    I have a whole system that precludes my mixing fruit or sweets with sour or salty.
    I know, your preference is your preference, but man, are you missing out. Pork and apple? Bacon wrapped dates? Duck and orange? Duck and pomegranate? Ambrosia. This past weekend, I helped my girlfriend cook a multi-course feast of Persian specialties; they are the masters of combining unexpected flavors into brilliantly coherent dishes. Sample: Chicken stewed with dates and barberries (think caper-sized cranberries), plus almonds and pistachios. Amazing.

    If I ever get to cook for you, I'll make my own coffee-and-chocolate-rubbed steak. If it doesn't change your outlook, there's no hope for you.

    Believe me, I'm not as much of a pain in the ass to eat with as you would think.
    Meh, I think the people around you are just being diplomatic.

  50. #50
    Stegodon
    Registered
    Feb 2009
    Location
    Mississippi
    Posts
    235

    Default Re: The indefensible position --"Hawaiian " pizza is great

    I do not eat orange or lemon sauce on meats or in sweets because acid goes with acid. Bacon wrapped dates are nasty (yes, I've eaten them). Pork with any kind of apples is usually nasty to me because it always involves some sugar coated crap that goes with it.

    I would be willing to try the coffee and chocolate steak only because those are dark flavors that don't necessarily have to be sweet. If it's one of those sweet sugary glazes, though, you can save the steak or just barely cook it for me with just enough salt to taste because I can tell you I don't like it.

    I don't like sweet foods very often. I just don't. I have tried alot of them and frankly I'm too old to be told that I just haven't had the right sweet/salty mix yet.

    As for my friends, no they are not just being diplomatic. I would be a pain in the ass if I were trying to get everyone to eat what I eat or if I were loudly (or even, at all) complaining about the different mixtures. I simply make my decisions and keep my mouth shut as to why.

    Finally, this is the second thread in a row I've opened to find your rather snobby views on food. Just because I have a personal taste preference doesn't make yours any better.
    Something witty and just obscure enough to make you think I'm cool.

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