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Thread: Post brief quotes from fiction/narrative/whatever

  1. #1701
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    Jayne: "See, I married me a powerful ugly creature."
    Mal (in a dress): "How can you say that? How can you shame me in front of new people?"
    Jayne: "If I could make you prettier I would!"

    Firefly

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    "— Make it a sarpasilla.
    [stony faced silence from bartender]
    — Is this one of those really tough bars?
    [bartender nods]
    — Oh. Well let me have a large glass of warm gin served with a human hair in it."

    Rustlers' Rhapsody
    Last edited by Jizzelbin; 27 Dec 2020 at 09:27 PM. Reason: plural possessive

  3. #1703
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    Mal: "You can't open the book of my life and jump in the middle. Like Woman, I am a mystery."

    Firefly

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    "Even the most innocent thing said in Regina comes across wrong. Like, I can't ask, 'Hey, where can a guy eat out in Regina?'"

    — Jim Gaffigan, Pale Horse

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    Zoe: "Captain, everyone should have a chance to congratulate you on your day of bliss."
    Mal: "There's no bliss. I don't know this girl!"

    Firefly

  6. #1706
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    "China deliberately manufactured the virus, and they spread it around the world. I don't think anybody was eating bats. Did you ever have a bat?"

    — RG, in Borat Subsequent Moviefilm

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    Jayne: "Then can I know her?"
    Zoe: "Jayne! Don't sully this."
    Mal: "You are going to be cleaning out latrines with your face if you don't cut that out."

    Firefly

  8. #1708
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    "A premium whiskey at the entry level of Irish Whiskey. The finish is light, but don’t let that fool you it lasts for a while. Starting off with butterscotch and fading fast, to be be replaced by toffee and oak."

    — A review of "Slane Irish Whiskey."

  9. #1709
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    "If you expect your comic disregard for your company has convinced anyone, you're very much mistaken. This was to have been corrected, by you or your team, today."

    — <e-mail> from anon to anon

    Yes, but then again Kilbeggan brings out the best in me.

    I kind of liked the "comic disregard" bit, but, well, I was pretty drunk a few hours ago.

    True quote, BTW. I somewhat don't think it was wise to say so, but I don't care anymore. It's not anything with forums, just RL quote in e-mail tag with some keyboard jockey at work.

  10. #1710
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    Kaylee: "Oh, sweetie, don't feel bad. He makes everybody cry. He's like a monster."
    Mal: "I'm not a monster!"

    Firefly

  11. #1711
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    "You just contradicted me.
    —No, I didn't.
    Yes, you did.
    —No, no, no.
    You did just then.
    —That's ludicrous.
    Oh, this is futile.
    —No, it isn't.
    I came in here for a good argument.
    —No, you didn't. You came in here for an argument.
    Well, argument isn't the same as contradiction.
    —Can be.
    No, it can't."

    — Monty Python

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    Mal: "Someone ever tries to kill you, you try to kill 'em right back! Wife or no, you are no one's property to be tossed aside. You got the right same as anyone to live and try to kill people."

    Firefly

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    "That little bastard shot me in the ass!"

    Blazing Saddles
    Last edited by Jizzelbin; 14 Jan 2021 at 10:39 PM.

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    Book: "If you take sexual advantage of her, you're going to burn in a very special level of Hell. A level they reserve for child molesters and people who talk at the theater."

    Firefly

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    "We call her a lobster: all the meat's in the tail."

    Mad Men, probably

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    Zoe: "So… are you enjoying your own nubile little slave girl?"
    Mal: "She wanted to make me dinner. Well, at least she's not cryin'."

    Firefly

  17. #1717
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    "You have offended my family and you have offended the Shaolin temple."

    Enter the Dragon

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    Zoe: "Remember that sex we were planning to have, ever again?"

    Firefly

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    "Stuffed them in an Energy Bar, keep me from getting strangled in the shower, or worse."

    Arrested Development

  20. #1720
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    Mal: "I would appreciate it if one person on this boat would not assume I'm an evil, lecherous hump."
    Zoe: "No one's saying that, sir."
    Wash: "Yeah, we're pretty much just giving each other significant glances and laughing incessantly."

    Firefly

  21. #1721
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    "You just won the gold medal at the sexual Special Olympics. She can't ever find you again. Don't you see that you're so lucky?"

    Arrested Development

  22. #1722
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    Wash: "Every planet has its own weird customs. About a year before we met, I spent six weeks on a moon where the principal form of recreation was juggling geese. My hand to God. Baby geese. Goslings. They were juggled."

    Firefly

  23. #1723
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    "I got nasty habits. I take tea at three. And the meat I eat for dinner, must be hung up for a week."

    — Stones

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    Jayne: "Six men came to kill me one time. The best of 'em carried this. It's a Callahan full-bore auto-lock. Customized trigger. Double cartridge thorough gauge. It is my very favorite gun... This is the best damn gun made by man. It has extreme sentimental value. It's miles more worthy'n what you got. [strokes it lovingly] I call it Vera."
    Mal: "Well, my days of not taking you seriously are certainly comin' to a middle."

    Firefly

  25. #1725
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    "— Nice beaver!
    — Thanks. I just had it stuffed."

    The Naked Gun

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    Saffron: "But we've been wed. Aren't… we to become one flesh?"
    Mal: "Well, no, uh… we're still two fleshes here, and... I think... that your flesh oughta… sleep somewhere else."

    Firefly

  27. #1727
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    "Kim: Scott, if your life had a face, I would punch it."

    -- Scott Pilgrim vs. The World

  28. #1728
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    Saffron: "I do know my Bible, sir: 'On the night of their betrothal, the wife shall open to the man as the furrow to the plow, and he shall work in her, in and again, 'til she bring him to his fall, and rest him then upon the sweat of her breast.'"
    Mal [openly staring]: "Whoa. Good Bible."

    Firefly

  29. #1729
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    "Hey you stupid shiteating little cocksucker. Why don't you ram a toilet plunger up your ass and jump on a trampoline. You should kill yourself. And learn to speak English, you retarded half breed."

    — private correspondence to an unpleasant, anonymous text.


    "In any case, of course, the enemy shall be felled quite accidentally as the flailing sword of truth decapitates them. Now—all nonsense aside—you know I have no enemies. Only discarded lovers—and they have their memories."

    — Maila "Nurmi" (née Syrjäniemi) aka "Vampira," quoted from her niece, Sandra Niemi's recent biography, [u]Glamour Ghoul[/i]
    Last edited by Jizzelbin; 03 Feb 2021 at 01:01 AM.

  30. #1730
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    Saffron: "Do you know the myth of Earth-That-Was?"
    Wash: "Not so much."
    Saffron: "That when she was born, she had no sky, and was open, inviting. And the stars would rush into her, through the skin of her…"
    Wash: "Huh."
    Saffron: "...making the oceans boil with sensation. And when she could endure no more ecstasy, she puffed up her cheeks and blew out the sky."
    Wash: "Whoa. Good myth."

    Firefly

  31. #1731
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    "I think everybody should try [shrooms] once. They're incredible. Like I don't fully trust someone who's never tripped, it's like trusting someone who still has a hotmail account."

    Love s2e4

  32. #1732
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    Saffron: "Make this night what it should be. Please? Show me the stars."
    Wash: "... I wish I was somebody else right now. Somebody not… married, not... madly in love with a beautiful woman who... can... kill me with her pinkie!"

    Firefly

  33. #1733
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    "À plus, David Hasselhoff! = "See you around, David Hasselhoff!:
    — C'est qui, David Hosselhoff? == Who's that supposed to be, this David Hasselhoff?

    — a silly French recent comedy, called *MILF*, which I don't need to translate (!!)

  34. #1734
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    Saffron: "You're good."
    Inara: "You're amazing. Who are you?"
    Saffron: [sneers arrogantly] "Malcolm Reynolds's widow."

    Firefly

  35. #1735
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    "Jeff: Hey Troy sneezes like a girl!
    Troy: How about I pound you like a boy...that didn't come out right."

    Community season.1

  36. #1736
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    Zoe: "If she can fly this thing, why just take the shuttle?"
    Wash: "Maybe she likes shuttles. [Everyone stares at him.] Some people juggle geese!"

    Firefly

  37. #1737
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    "Britta: Jeff needs a girl who doesn't just not wear underwear because Oprah told her it would spice things up. He needs a girl who doesn't wear underwear because she hasn't done laundry in three weeks. He's been to flavor country now."

    Community s2(?)

  38. #1738
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    Jayne: "That's why I never kiss 'em on the mouth."

    Firefly

  39. #1739
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    "For every Action, there is a Jackson"

    — unkn., probably related to the "classic" "movie" Action Jackson

  40. #1740
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    Mal: "But she was naked! And all... articulate!"

    Firefly

  41. #1741
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    "Hell-Cat Maggie was a well known criminal in Manhattan's Five Points district and a member of the notorious Dead Rabbits gang. She was a fierce street fighter and actually filed her teeth and nails into points to better shred her opponents' skin."

    — copy from the back label of a bottle of Hell-Cat Maggie Irish whiskey.

  42. #1742
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    Jayne (to his rifle): "See, Vera? Dress yourself up, you get taken out somewhere fun."

    Firefly

  43. #1743
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    "Can you help me? I'm looking for the barn. Do you know where it is? Do you read me, Miss Piggy? Oink oink!"

    Let Go old dude named Artie (played by Ed Asner) accosting a lady on a city street.

  44. #1744
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    Wash: "Captain, don't you know kissin' girls makes you sleepy?"
    Mal: "Sometimes, I just can't help myself."

    Firefly

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    "Potter: George, I am an old man, and most people hate me, but I don't like them either, so that makes it all even."

    It's a Wonderful Life

  46. #1746
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    Saffron: "You gonna kill me?"
    Mal: "Can you conjure up a terribly compelling reason for me not to?"
    Saffron: "I didn't kill you."
    Mal: "You handed me and my crew over to those that would kill us. That buys you nothing."

    Firefly

  47. #1747
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    "Now choke yourself. Goddamn it, with my hand, numb-nuts. Don't pull my fucking hand over there. I said, choke yourself. Now lean forward and choke yourself."

    some movie (pro-tip: every Marine I've ever met knows every line of this movie: hell, they like you, and they'll let you come over to their house and fuck their sister anytime! True fact!)

  48. #1748
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    Full Metal Jacket, I think.

    Mal: "Why the act? All the seduction games, the dancin' around folk, there has to be an easier way to steal."
    Saffron: "You're assuming the point is the paycheck."
    Mal: "I'm not assuming anything at this point."

    Firefly

  49. #1749
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    Of course FMJ!

    "Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Didn't your parents have any children that lived?
    Leonard Lawrence: Sir, yes sir!
    Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: I bet they regret that!"

    — movie

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