Post brief quotes from fiction/narrative/whatever

[Elendil's Heir]

Mal: "Girl knows things. Things she shouldn't. Things she couldn't."
Jayne: "What, are you— are you sayin' she's a witch?"

Firefly

[Jizzelbin]

“I come from a country that raises corn and cotton and cockleburs and Democrats, and frothy eloquence neither convinces nor satisfies me. I’m from Missouri. You’ve got to show me."

— Willard D. Vandiver

[Elendil's Heir]

Wash (sarcastically): "Yes, Jayne. She's a witch. She has had congress with the Beast."
Jayne: "She's in Congress?"
Wash: "How did your brain even learn human speech? I'm just so curious."

Firefly

[Jizzelbin]

"Pick up the phone, you reindeer goat cheese-eating bastard."

— Hudson Hawk

[Elendil's Heir]

Wash: "Psychic, though? That sounds like something out of science fiction."
Zoe: "We live in a spaceship, dear."
Wash: "So...?"

Firefly

[Jizzelbin]

"The thing about a shark, it's got lifeless eyes, black eyes, like a doll's eyes. When it comes at you it doesn't seem to be livin'... until he bites you, and those black eyes roll over white."

— Jaws

[Elendil's Heir]

Jayne: "Well… I don't like the idea of someone hearin' what I'm thinkin'."
Inara: "No one likes the idea of hearing what you're thinking."

Firefly

[Jizzelbin]

"You didn't tell me that this was for children. I hate children. I'd raise money to have the little fuckers put down. I want me money back!"

— Shallow Grave (1994 film)

[Elendil's Heir]

Simon: "She's just a kid! And she just wants to be a... kid."
Mal: "I wish it were that simple."
Jayne: "Yeah, and if wishes were horses, we'd all be eatin' steak."

Firefly

[Jizzelbin]

"Well, Brian McKinley, if you want to talk to my girlfriend you talk to me first. If you want to dance with her, then you apply in writing three weeks in advance or you're going to end up inside a fucking bin-bag. You didn't apply so you don't dance."

— Christopher Eccleston's character in Shallow Grave

[Elendil's Heir]

Simon: "So you're a bounty hunter."
Early: "No, that ain't it at all."
Simon: "Then what are you?"
Early: "I'm a bounty hunter."

Firefly

[Jizzelbin]

"One time the guy who played Mr. Belvedere sat on his own balls and they had to stop filming for a couple of days."

— Patrick Monahan

[Elendil's Heir]

Simon: "You're outta your mind."
Early: "That's between me and my mind."

Firefly

[Jizzelbin]

"You don't know any stories? All right, I'll tell you one. This is a newspaper right? Its 90% bullshit, but it's entertaining. That's why I read it: because it entertains me. You won't let me read it, so: you entertain me with your bullshit. Tell me a story right now, go."

— Training Day

[Elendil's Heir]

Early: "You ever been shot?"
Simon: "No."
Early: "You oughta be shot. Or stabbed. Lose a leg. To be a surgeon, you know? Know what kind of pain you're dealing with. They make psychiatrists get psychoanalyzed before they can get certified, but they don't make a surgeon get cut on. That seem right to you?"

Firefly

[Jizzelbin]

“Testosterone is more about instinctive functions known as the four Fs — fighting, fleeing, feeding and… mating — which is what the hormone was meant to do hundreds of millions of years ago.”

— quote of unknown origin found in my fancy clipboard linux widget

[Elendil's Heir]

Early: "Man is stronger by far than woman, yet only woman can create a child - does that seem right to you?"

Firefly

[Jizzelbin]

"If one can avoid the most unprofessional, deranged "bartender" I've ever had the displeasure of being "served" by, Janice, this place could have potential.

Erratic, incompetent staff are the dangers that lurk within an otherwise fine establishment."

— a random Yelp review by an unknown reviewer

[Elendil's Heir]

Early: "All right, that's all the hide-and-seek I got time for. [shouting] I know you're on this ship, little girl! Here's how this goes: show yourself and finish this exchange, or your brother's brains'll be flyin' every whichaway! [normal tone] You understand, I'm sort of on the clock here. It's frustrating."

Firefly

[Jizzelbin]

"He's a maniac, maniac, he just moved next door
He'll kill your cat and nail it to the floor"

— first draft of some lyrics from the song "Maniac" (from the movie *Flashdance*)

[Elendil's Heir]

Early: "Where'd she go?"
Simon: "I can't keep track of her when she's not incorporeally possessing a spaceship; don't look at me."

Firefly

[Jizzelbin]

"If you raise [the price of] the effing hot dog, I will kill you."

— Costco CEO Jim Sinegal

[Elendil's Heir]

Early: "You folks are all insane."
Simon: "Well… my sister's a ship. We had a complicated childhood."

Firefly

[Jizzelbin]

"Nothing to 'get over.' You're barely a person, and we never had a relationship. You're a barely ambulant infection, an object to be treated in whatever ways amuse me. Just as you always were."

— part of a final text from somebody

[Elendil's Heir]

River: "I know you have questions."
Mal: "That would be why I just asked them."

Firefly