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Thread: Post brief quotes from fiction/narrative/whatever

  1. #1401
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    "Why are computer scientists even learning programming? When did this happen? Programming sounds like one of those get-your-hands-dirty jobs in flyover territory, where you would show a lot of ass crack on the job and live in a trailer park. Educated people don't do that."

    — an amusing comment on the Slashdot topic titled "CMU Eliminates Object Oriented Programming For Freshman" by a user named "DNS-and-BIND."

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    Bob: "Weren't you in the news? Some show in, Prayge... Prague?"
    Edna: "Milan, darling. Milan. Supermodels. Heh! Nothing super about them... spoiled, stupid little stick figures with poofy lips who think only about themselves. Feh! I used to design for gods!"

    The Incredibles

  3. #1403
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    "C++ is a horrible language. It's made more horrible by the fact that a lot of substandard programmers use it, to the point where it's much much easier to generate total and utter crap with it. Quite frankly, even if the choice of C were to do *nothing* but keep the C++ programmers out, that in itself would be a huge reason to use C."

    — Linus Torvalds, gmane.comp.version-control.git 2007-09-06 17:50:28 GMT

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    Violet: "We act normal, mom! I want to be normal! The only normal one is Jack-Jack, and he's not even toilet-trained!"

    The Incredibles

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    "Rupert: Cordelia's a student.
    Wesley: Uh, well, erm, I'm here to watch. Girls. Ed uhm, about Buffy and Faith, to be specific.
    Cordelia: Well, it's about time we got some fresh blood around here.
    Wesley: Eh em, well, 'fresh,' yes."

    Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 3, Episode 5, "Consequences"

  6. #1406
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    Syndrome: "Oh, I'm real. Real enough to defeat you! And I did it without your precious gifts, your oh-so-special powers. I'll give them heroics. I'll give them the most spectacular heroics anyone's ever seen! And when I'm old and I've had my fun, I'll sell my inventions so that everyone can be superheroes. Everyone can be super! And when everyone's super... [laughs to himself] no one will be."

    The Incredibles

  7. #1407
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    "Yo, some guy fucked that baby into Mary. Not that it matters."

    Nihilist Arby's Dec 24th, 2019

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    Dash: "Are we there yet?"
    Mr. Incredible: "We get there when we get there!"

    The Incredibles

  9. #1409
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    "Buffy: When you look back on this, in the three seconds it will take you to turn to dust, I think you'll find the mistake was: touching my stuff.
    Girl vampire: What about breaking your arm? How does that feel?
    Buffy: Let me answer that question with a headbutt."

    Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 4, Episode 1

  10. #1410
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    Helen: "Right now, honey, the world just wants us to fit in, and to fit in, we gotta be like everyone else."
    Dash: "But Dad always said our powers were nothing to be ashamed of, our powers made us special."
    Helen: "Everyone's special, Dash."
    Dash: [muttering] "Which is another way of saying no one is."

    The Incredibles

  11. #1411
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    "Rick Dalton: What the fuck was that? Jesus Christ! Fuck! Shit. God dammit, Rick. [unintellible] remember your fucking lines, embarrass yourself in front of all the goddammned people."

    Once Upon a Time in Hollywood

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    Syndrome: "Oh, ho ho! You sly dog! You got me monologuing! I can't believe it...."

    The Incredibles

  13. #1413
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    "I'm getting too old for this shit."

    — often veridical phrase said sometimes in the movies, and IRL

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    Old Man #1: "Ya see that? That's the way to do it. That's old school."
    Old Man #2: "Yeah. No school like the old school."
    Old Man #1: "Yeah!"

    The Incredibles

  15. #1415
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    "[Main dude typing into "Google"]: John Paul George Ringo
    [search engine replies page including picture of JPII]
    [Main dude]: Aw. Fuck off. No!"

    Yesterday

  16. #1416
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    Syndrome: "It's finally ready! You know, I went through quite a few supers to make it worthy to fight you, but man, it wasn't good enough! After you trashed the last one, I had to make some major modifications. Sure, it was difficult, but you are worth it. I mean, after all... I am your biggest fan."

    The Incredibles

  17. #1417
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    "Saigon. Shit. I'm still only in Saigon."

    — some middle-aged asshole in some stupid movie about a dream about war

  18. #1418
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    Syndrome: "My name is not Buddy! And it's not Incrediboy, either. That ship has sailed. All I wanted was to help you. I only wanted to help, and what do you say to me?"
    Mr. Incredible: [flashback] "Fly home, Buddy. I work alone."
    Syndrome: "It tore me apart. But I learned an important lesson. You can't count on anyone, especially your heroes."

    The Incredibles

  19. #1419
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    "Cop: Would you mind stepping out of the car, ma'am?
    PW: Sure, Officer, Why? Anything wrong?
    Cop: Just wanted to take a look at that cute little outfit you had on!"

    — a movie

  20. #1420
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    Edna: "You need a new suit, that much is certain."
    Bob: "A new suit? Well, where the heck am I gonna get a new suit?"
    Edna: "You can't! It's impossible! I'm far too busy, so ask me now before I can become sane."
    Bob: "Wait. You want to make me a suit?"
    Edna: "You push too hard, darling! But I accept."

    The Incredibles

  21. #1421
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    "Perfect for Hunting Range Studying Lawn Mowing for Men Women Adults"

    — a pretty ridiculous blurb of ad copy for an over-the-ear set of hearing protectors.

  22. #1422
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    Elastigirl: "Remember the bad guys on the shows you used to watch on Saturday mornings? Well, these guys aren't like those guys. They won't exercise restraint because you are children. They will kill you if they get the chance. Do not give them that chance."

    The Incredibles

  23. #1423
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    "— What is, 'Space Fleet'? It is a goal, for us to strive towards. For the betterment of the universe, or that of life itself."

    Black Mirrror, season 4, episode 1, "USS Callister"

  24. #1424
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    Helen: "What on earth do you think the baby will be doing?"
    Edna: "Well, I am sure I don't know, darling. Luck favors the prepared."

    The Incredibles

  25. #1425
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    "Jack: Oh, uh, you like to look at other peoples' cards, do you?
    Danny: Yes.
    Jack: You ever seen this one?"

    One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest

  26. #1426
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    Mr. Incredible: "I should have told you I was fired, I admit it. But I didn't want you to worry."
    Elastigirl: "You didn't want me to worry? And now we're running for our lives through some godforsaken jungle!"
    Mr. Incredible: [grinning happily] "You keep trying to pick a fight, but I'm still just happy you're alive."

    The Incredibles

  27. #1427
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    "Nurse: 'Mr. Martini? Are you with us?'
    Martini: 'Yes.'
    Nurse: 'Would you like to begin?'"

    One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest

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    Lucius: "Superladies? They're always trying to tell you their secret identity... think it'll strengthen the relationship or something like that. I say, 'Girl, I don't wanna know about your mild-mannered alter ego or anything like that. I mean, you tell me you're, uh... Super, Mega, Ultra Lightning Babe, that's all right with me. I'm good... I'm good.'"

    The Incredibles

  29. #1429
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    "Rebuilding your transmission is a fun and inexpensive way to fix your car."

    — some jerk on some webpage

  30. #1430
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    Helen: "Tell me you haven't been listening to the police scanner again."
    Bob: "Look, I performed a public service. You act like that's a bad thing."
    Helen: "It is a bad thing, Bob! Uprooting our family again so that you can relive the glory days is a very bad thing!"
    Bob [defensively]: "Reliving the glory days is better than pretending they never happened!"

    The Incredibles

  31. #1431
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    Rupert: "It's clear we're dealing with a spirit of some kind. It's very common for Indian spirits to change to whatever form."
    Buffy: "Yeah, well it's uncommon for me to freeze up during a fight. I mean, I had the guy, I was ready for the take-down and then, I stopped. And, 'Native American.'"
    Rupert: "Sorry?"
    Buffy: "We don't say 'Indian.'"
    Ruper: "Right, yes, yes: always behind on the terms. Still trying not to refer to you lots as bloody colonials."

    Buffy Season 4 Episode 8

  32. #1432
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    Mr. Incredible: "Wait here and stay hidden. I'm going in."
    Elastigirl: "While what? I watch helplessly from the sidelines? I don't think so."
    Mr. Incredible: "I'm asking you to wait with the kids."
    Elastigirl: "And I'm telling you, not a chance. You're my husband, I'm with you - for better or worse."

    The Incredibles

  33. #1433
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    "They cooked shellfish collected from sea coast. If they went out to collect shellfish at the wrong time, they're dead. They have to be able to time their accesss to the coastline so that they're here when the tides are right to collect those shellfish."

    — Shanyu Ji, lecture notes from some unknown lecture.

  34. #1434
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    Dash: "That was the best vacation ever! [sighs contentedly] I love our family."

    The Incredibles

  35. #1435
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    Trumpet guy: "Maybe you should set yout sights a little higher. My trumpet was always Gina Lollabirggida."
    Alto guy: "I've never heard of her."
    Trumpet guy: "A fine woman."
    Alto guy: "But try erm Kim Basinger."
    Trumpet guy: "Is she ... [gestures]?"
    Alto guy: "Oh, yeah."
    Trumpet guy: "Good. Pick a nipple and try it again."

  36. #1436
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    What's that from?

    Kari: "You don't have to worry about one single thing, Mrs. Parr. I've got this baby-sitting thing wired. I've taken courses and learned CPR, and I've got excellent marks and certificates I can produce on demand."
    Elastigirl: "Kari..."
    Kari: "I also brought Mozart to play while he sleeps to make him smarter because leading experts say Mozart makes babies smarter..."
    Elastigirl: "Kari...."
    Kari: "...and the beauty part is the babies don't even have to listen 'cause they're asleep! You know, I wish my parents played Mozart when I slept because half the time I don't even know what the heck anyone's talking about!"

    The Incredibles

  37. #1437
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    Dennis: "The recognition of inequality that was present in cinema since its beginning days: the objectifying of the female form. I mean, with Thundergun, a great injustice was rectified. OK? Fairness of the sexes: a unification of the human condition."
    Focus group lady: "I'm sorry, is this still about the flaccid penis that you'd like to see?"
    Martini: "You're goddamned right!"

    Always Sunny Season 14, Episode 2.

    Oh, sorry about bibliographical lapse above. That's from the movie The Commitments.

  38. #1438
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    Ah, thanks. I'd forgotten that.

    Bernie Kropp: "You're letting him go again? He's guilty! You can see it in his smug little face. Guilty, I say! Guilty! Guilty! Noooo!"

    The Incredibles

  39. #1439
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    Spike: "Well. I mean, yeah, I get why the demons fall in line with you. You're like Tony Robbins. If he were a big scary-looking Frankenstein.... I mean, you're exactly like Tony Robbins."

    Bufffy Season 4, Episode 20

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    Mirage: "Valuing life is not weakness."
    Syndrome: "Oh, hey, look, look, if you're talking about what happened in the containment unit, I had everything under control."
    Mirage: "And disregarding it is not strength."
    Syndrome: "Look, I called his bluff, sweetheart, that's all. I knew he wouldn't have it in him to actually...."
    Mirage: [through her teeth] "Next time you gamble, bet your own life."

    The Incredibles

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