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15 Sep 2019 10:28 PM
#1301
Oliphaunt
"It was a bad call, Ripley. It was a bad call."
—sportscasters after every Redskins' game, apparently.
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16 Sep 2019 02:12 PM
#1302
Member
Harry Morant: "As a matter of interest, how many courts-martial have you done?"
Major Thomas: "None."
George Wittow: "None?"
Peter Handcock: "Jesus, they're playing with a double-headed penny, aren't they?"
Breaker Morant
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18 Sep 2019 05:24 AM
#1303
Oliphaunt
"'E.g.,' 'I.e,' fuck you. The point is this is that when I say 'jump,' you say 'OK,' OK?"
—Get Shorty
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19 Sep 2019 07:44 AM
#1304
Member
Peter Handcock: [to a foe who has just left the witness stand] "You couldn't lie straight in bed, Drummond."
Breaker Morant
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26 Sep 2019 06:46 PM
#1305
Oliphaunt
"[Under one applied interpretation], we [can] get the Russellian truth conditions via two steps of function application: 'The present King of France is bald' is true if, and only if [sic] Ex((Kx & y(Ky -> y=x)) & Bx)." —wikipedia page on Definite descriptions
I'm using "E" as the existential quantifier, and the unadorned "y" to mean "for all y." Of course '&' is the caret/AND and -> is entailment.
Makes sense to me: I don't see what the problem is with this semantics. Probably there is a hard limit when we need Kripkean many-worlds semantics, but I'd have to think more about it.
Oh, here's maybe a way you'd say that formal logic in words: "There is at least one thing such that that thing is a King of France, and for all things such that if it is a King of France it is identical to that thing which is our King of France, it must also be bald."
Uhhh....never mind, it makes more sense using symbols.
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28 Sep 2019 11:18 PM
#1306
Member
Lt. Col. Denny: "Control yourself, Mr. Handcock, or you will find yourself in serious trouble."
[Handcock scoffs]
Lt. Col. Denny: "You find that amusing?"
Peter Handcock: "Well, I was just wondering how much more serious things could be."
Breaker Morant
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29 Sep 2019 10:29 AM
#1307
Oliphaunt
"The present King of France is bald."
— one canonical example of a non-referential sentence
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30 Sep 2019 12:18 PM
#1308
Member
"It really ain't the place nor time to reel off rhyming diction / but yet we'll write a final rhyme while waiting crucifixion.
For we bequeath a parting tip of sound advice for such men / who come in transport ships to polish off the Dutchman.
If you encounter any Boers, you really must not loot 'em / and if you wish to leave these shores, for pity's sake, don't shoot 'em.
Let's toss a bumper down our throat before we pass to Heaven / and toast a trim-set petticoat we leave behind in Devon."
Breaker Morant
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30 Sep 2019 06:04 PM
#1309
Oliphaunt
""And, also, if you do not dream, it fucks you up. From what I understand, it mostly happens if you get a brain injury. Although there might be other reasons, I just was not able to find it in my very brief researching of this shit. So, your brain gets fucked up somehow, probably by injuring it. And, it makes it so you don't dream when you sleep, and you just, like, have all kinds of problems. So, you will get like, if you do not get in REM sleep, if you do not have dreams, you will get signs of psychosis, and you will start getting hallucinations, and then you will get irritable and disoriented."
—podcast, "How Natalie Destroyed E.T.'s Nasty Little Body," 2019-may-17
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01 Oct 2019 02:05 PM
#1310
Member
George Wittow: "Did you write that, Harry?"
Harry Morant: "No, no. It was a minor poet, called Byron."
Peter Handcock: "Never heard of him."
Harry Morant: "I did say he was a minor poet."
Breaker Morant
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01 Oct 2019 07:58 PM
#1311
Oliphaunt
"[S]quirrels are an invasive species. So we were talking before about how there's like all kinds of different squirrels. We have gray ones. But, you know, sometimes you'll see pictures — I've never seen one in real life, of like the red one. [T]hey're like real cute and real red and like 'Ahh, look at me!!!' Apparently in England that used to be the kind of squirrels they had, but then, in the eighteen-hundreds, like a bunch of Victorian people, like decided it'd be very posh of them to get like the exotic squirrels from like overseas and have them in their yards and have the gray squirrels, and it would be so special of them, right?"
— podcast, "I Accidentally Murdered A Squirrel" 2019-May-06
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03 Oct 2019 10:49 AM
#1312
Member
Harry Morant: "It's a new kind of war, George. A new war for a new century. I suppose this is the first time the enemy hasn't been in uniform. They're farmers. They come from small villages, and they shoot at us from behind walls and from farmhouses. Some of them are women, some of them are children, and some of them... are missionaries, George."
Breaker Morant
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03 Oct 2019 10:24 PM
#1313
Oliphaunt
'The average person weighs about a hundred and ninety pounds. The average American, I should say. Weighs about a hundred and ninety pounds. 10 pounds of that is bacteria. Living mostly in your intestines, although there's a lot living on your hair, on the surface of your skin, and in your mouth and in your nose, etc. etc. So when your bacteria eats this special sugar-free sugar that's in these sugar-free candies, it makes products that you don't normally smell." — podcast, "The Worst Candy In the World" 2019-Jul-01
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04 Oct 2019 01:33 PM
#1314
Member
Major Bolton: "How did Lt. Handcock look?"
Corporal Sharp: "Like he was thinking, sir... like... I can't think of the...."
Major Bolton: "Did he look like he was agitated?"
Corporal Sharp: "Agitated? Yes, that's it, sir. Yes, sir, he looked agitated."
Major Thomas: "Objection. Major Bolton is leading the witness."
Major Bolton: "I will rephrase the question, sir. Tell me, Corporal Sharp, how did Lt. Handcock look?"
Corporal Sharp: "Agitated, sir!"
Major Bolton: "Thank you, Corporal."
Breaker Morant
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04 Oct 2019 08:15 PM
#1315
Oliphaunt
"He took a perfect conversation, realized he couldn't read it to Congress, it was a perfect conversation … He took that conversation, which was perfect, he said: "I can't read this." And he made up a conversation and said it to Congress and to the American people. And it was horrible, what he said. And that was supposed to be coming from me, and it was all fabricated. He should resign from office in disgrace, and frankly they should look at him for treason, because he is making up the words of the President of the United States, it's a disgrace and it shouldn't be allowed to happen."
— Winston Churchill
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05 Oct 2019 10:08 PM
#1316
Member
Harry Morant: "It's all right, Major. I've had a good run. There's nothing for me in England anymore. And back in Australia, well... they say if you need a couple of stiff drinks before you climb up on a wild horse, you're finished."
Breaker Morant
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05 Oct 2019 10:52 PM
#1317
Oliphaunt
"A three-cushion and a straight-pool tournament ran at the same time. There were nine tables lined up end-to-end, every other one billiards. Mixing the pool and billiard players together like that was crazy, and was the idea of the Assistant Scorekeeper, who was a woman. She didn't know much about running a tournament, but she was a hell of a lay ... one of the best I ever had."
— McGoorty : a pool room hustler, publ 1972
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08 Oct 2019 01:02 PM
#1318
Member
Lord Kitchener: "Needless to say, the Germans couldn't give a damn about the Boers. It's the diamonds and gold of South Africa they're after."
Major Bolton: "They lack our... altruism, sir."
Lord Kitchener: "Quite."
Breaker Morant
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08 Oct 2019 11:11 PM
#1319
Oliphaunt
"1885? It's a very interesting story, future boy, but there's just one little thing that doesn't make sense: if the me of the future is now in the past, how could you possibly know about it?"
—Back to the Future III, unknown provenance and authors, viz, it was just what Chris Lloyd said in the movie.
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09 Oct 2019 09:44 AM
#1320
Member
Sentry: "Excuse me, sir. I was in a public house last night, sir."
Major Thomas: "Were you, Sergeant?"
Sentry: "Yes, sir. I overheard one of the witnesses talking about the prisoners. In his cups he was, sir. A very indiscreet gentleman."
Breaker Morant
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09 Oct 2019 11:52 AM
#1321
Oliphaunt
"Also, dude, 'chinaman' is not the preferred nomenclature Asian-American, please.
—Walter, this isn't a guy who built the railroads here, this is a guy...
What the fuck are you tal..."
— overlapping dialogue like it's an Altman film or something.
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10 Oct 2019 01:16 PM
#1322
Member
Major Thomas: "Have you not been saying in the local pubs that you would walk barefoot from Cape Town to Petersburg to be on a firing party to shoot Lieutenant Handcock?"
Corporal Sharp: [visibly shaken] "Well, sir I might have said something like that over a pint, sir. It may have been the beer talking, sir, not me, sir."
Breaker Morant
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10 Oct 2019 06:18 PM
#1323
Oliphaunt
"Charlie didn't get much USO. He was dug in too deep or moving too fast. His idea of great R&R was cold rice and a little rat meat."
—Apocalypse Now
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11 Oct 2019 02:37 PM
#1324
Member
Peter Handcock: "New South Wales Mounted? What sort of a lawyer are you?"
Major Thomas: "They haven't locked me up yet. What sort of a soldier are you?"
Breaker Morant
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14 Oct 2019 08:41 PM
#1325
Oliphaunt
"Watch the hottest Color Blind porn on SpankBang now! Explore fresh Blind, Blind Date, & Color Climax scenes only on SpankBang."
—don't ask, don't tell
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15 Oct 2019 12:23 PM
#1326
Member
Handcock [after being reproved for having affairs with two married women]: "Well, they say a slice off a cut loaf's never missed."
Breaker Morant
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22 Oct 2019 11:01 PM
#1327
Oliphaunt
"Do you think I'd risk the electric chair just to suffer more of you, that suet pudding body of yours, that was bad enough, but that voice, Pamela. That voice. That screeching fingernail across the blackboard that fills the room every time you air your tonsils."
— John Astin to Phyllis Diller in Night Gallery, "Pamela's Voice"
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24 Oct 2019 03:00 PM
#1328
Member
Lt. Col. Denny: [regarding Kitchener's alleged order to shoot any Boers taken prisoner] "Do you really believe that Lord Kitchener, a man venerated throughout the world, would be capable of issuing an order of such barbarity?"
Major Thomas: "I don't know, sir. But I do know that orders that one would consider barbarous have already been issued in this war. Before I was asked to defend these soldiers, I spent some months destroying Boer farmhouses, burning their crops, herding their women and children into stinking refugee camps where thousands of them have already died from disease. Now these orders were issued, sir! And soldiers like myself, and these men here, have had to carry them out, however damned reluctantly!"
Breaker Morant
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24 Oct 2019 06:44 PM
#1329
Oliphaunt
"I kill you! I just bought the fucking car last week! I kill your fucking car, man! Fuck you! You like that? Fuck you! I kill your fucking car! I kill your fucking car!"
— unnamed owner of a red Chevrolet Corvette of uncertain value, The Big Lebowski
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25 Oct 2019 10:57 AM
#1330
Member
Major Thomas: "The fact of the matter is that war changes men's natures. The barbarities of war are seldom committed by abnormal men. The tragedy of war is that these horrors are committed by normal men in abnormal situations. Situations in which the ebb and flow of everyday life have departed and have been replaced by a constant round of fear and anger, blood and death."
Breaker Morant
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26 Oct 2019 09:07 PM
#1331
Oliphaunt
"Sweet Dee: OK, so, where's the dong?
Focus group lady: The dong?
Sweet Dee: John Thunder Gun has hung dong in every chapter of this saga, and I just watched ninety minutes of one, and not one hang.
Focus group lady: Well, I think that the studio was thinking that gratuitous nudity was maybe a bit much.
Charlie: Fuck you.
—It's Always Sunny in Philadelhia Season 14, Episode 2, "Thunder Gun 4: Maximum Cool"
Last edited by Jizzelbin; 26 Oct 2019 at 09:13 PM.
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26 Oct 2019 11:13 PM
#1332
Member
Handcock: [after helping repel a Boer attack on the prison where he and Morant are being held] "Well, that broke the monotony."
Breaker Morant
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30 Oct 2019 12:11 PM
#1333
Oliphaunt
"Jules: You know what divine intervention is?
Vincent: I think so. That means that god came down from heaven and stopped the bullets?
Jules: That's right. That's exactly what it means. God came down from heaven and stopped these motherfucking bullets."
—Pulp Fiction
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31 Oct 2019 09:26 PM
#1334
Member
George Wittow: "Why did they do this to us, Harry? Why?"
Harry Morant: "They have to apologize for their damned war. They're trying to end it now, so they need scapegoats."
Breaker Morant
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01 Nov 2019 09:41 PM
#1335
Oliphaunt
"Nicki: But, we will return here, exactly one year, if you feel the same. Be here at sunset, and we will spend our days together knee-deep in American gash.
Frank: One year.
Charlie: Yeah.
Frank: One year.
Charlie: We'll be here."
— It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia season 14, episode 1.
Goddammit, the Boer wars were a fucking bummer, and the whole Paths of Glory plotline, fucking a, of course it happened, but, jesus christ, fucking a, you know, I've fucking seen Breaker Morant at least once, and I don't feel the least bit bad for those guys. I mean, they both were the fucking Nazis in that scenario! Terrible people fighting terrible people. No trial separation, no jury, I'm sorry, but each joined the wrong team. I'm not fucking weeping for little Klaus von Littlejungenhitlern. Each fucking lost, dude. There were no good people there, and everybody deserved to die. So, some people decided to die less. Heinous, but there was no reason to be there for anybody.
The French tortured the Algerians, and the red Vietnamese went all Deer Hunter on whitey. Fucking A. Nobody was right.
Last edited by Jizzelbin; 01 Nov 2019 at 09:57 PM.
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01 Nov 2019 11:15 PM
#1336
Member
That is certainly one school of thought when it comes to Morant and his codefendants.
Harry Morant: "Well, Mr. Taylor, sir, so much for your damned intelligence report. 'Eight Boers, exhausted' - that's what you said. 'Horses with fever,' you said. What do you say now?"
Capt. Taylor: "I say avenge Captain Hunt."
Breaker Morant
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02 Nov 2019 12:18 AM
#1337
Oliphaunt
"1. Detach the cable from the negative terminal of the battery.
[...]
2. Loosen the locknut on the threaded portion of the accelerator cable at the throttle body.
[...]
6. Installation is the reverse of removal."
—Haynes Repair Manual, Toyota Camry 1997 thru sic 2001
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04 Nov 2019 04:27 PM
#1338
Member
Lt. Col. Denny [reading affidavits from two married women who provide an alibi for Handcock]: "Lt. Handcock, what does Mrs. Vanderberg mean by 'entertained'? Did you sing to her?"
Breaker Morant
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08 Nov 2019 02:03 AM
#1339
Oliphaunt
"And our favorite was one named 'Zorro.' Zorro was really butch: she looked like Johnny Cash. And she just came out nude. She didn't strip. And she looked at the men in the audience and said, 'What the fuck are you looking at?'"
— John Waters, This Filthy World, 2006.
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08 Nov 2019 03:01 PM
#1340
Member
Major Thomas: "Lt. Handcock's personal morality is not on trial, sir."
Lt. Col. Denny [under his breath to a fellow officer] "Regrettably."
Breaker Morant
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08 Nov 2019 05:33 PM
#1341
Oliphaunt
"Regan — Let Jesus fuck you. Let Jesus fuck you. Let him fuck you.
Chris — Give it, give it to me.
Regan — Lick me. Lick me. Do you know what she did? Your cunting daughter?"
— The Exorcist
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10 Nov 2019 12:54 AM
#1342
Member
Harry Morant: "Was it like this? No; it was not quite so handsome. As to rules and regulations, we had no rule books, and knew nothing about them. We were out there, on the veldt, fighting the Boers, not sitting comfortably behind barb-wire entanglements. We got them and we shot them under Rule .303!"
Breaker Morant
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16 Nov 2019 03:22 AM
#1343
Oliphaunt
"Near Memphis. Cotton country, rice country. The most interesting thing is probably the music. Carl Perkins, Muddy Waters, king of country music, Elvis Presley, Johnny Cash, Bo Diddley, that's kind of the middle of the country, you know, like there's so bluegrass, or country music, you know, if that comes down to that area, and if it mixes there with the rhythm and if it dances, then you've got a combination of all those different kinds of music, country, bluegrass, blues music, the melting pot, 'show music.' Rock and roll."
— Levon Helm, of his group "The Band," interviewed in the concert video The Last Waltz (some "uh"s" elided).
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17 Nov 2019 03:04 PM
#1344
Member
Harry Morant: "Shoot straight, you bastards. Don't make a mess of it!"
Breaker Morant
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23 Nov 2019 02:07 AM
#1345
Oliphaunt
"It's an old habit. I spend my life trying not to be careless. Women and chldren can be careless, but not men."
— The Godfather
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24 Nov 2019 03:02 PM
#1346
Member
Devlin: "I love you."
Alicia: "Say it again, it keeps me awake."
Devlin: "I love you."
Notorious (Alfred Hitchcock, dir., 1948)
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24 Nov 2019 10:23 PM
#1347
Oliphaunt
"Moderator: Well, I think that the studio was thinking that gratuitous nudity was maybe a bit much.
Charlie: Fuck you!"
— It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Season 14, Episode 2, "
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25 Nov 2019 10:57 AM
#1348
Member
Devlin: "Miss Huberman is first, last and always not a lady. She may be risking her life, but when it comes to being a lady, she doesn't hold a candle to your wife, sitting in Washington, playing bridge with three other ladies of great honor and virtue."
Notorious
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25 Nov 2019 09:43 PM
#1349
Oliphaunt
"One of the best things that I ever saw was when I went to the prison, and, in the break room of the prison, they had a dispenser that dispensed Monster energy drinks, but it only took coins. So I had to stand there pumping coins into the machine that just got me more hyped up to get my Monster."
— podcast, Garbage Brain University, 2019-11-23, "GBU 53 and a Theory for Why Fish are Aliens"
Last edited by Jizzelbin; 25 Nov 2019 at 09:45 PM.
Reason: me format gooder
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26 Nov 2019 03:13 PM
#1350
Member
Alicia: "This is a very strange love affair."
Devlin: "Why?"
Alicia: "Maybe the fact that you don't love me."
Notorious
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