Post brief quotes from fiction/narrative/whatever

[Jizzelbin]

"I'm freaking pumped! I've been drinking green tea all goddamn day! I go to church every goddamn Sunday! You gonna bring the demons out of me!"

— Hot Rod

[Elendil's Heir]

Zoe: "You paid money for this, sir? On purpose?"

Firefly

[Jizzelbin]

"You know, there's going to be sex, drugs, rock-n-roll... chips, dips, chains, whips... You know, your basic high school orgy type of thing. I mean, uh, I'm not talking candlewax on the nipples, or witchcraft or anything like that, no, no, no. Just a couple of hundred kids running around in their underwear, acting like complete animals."

— Weird Science

[Elendil's Heir]

Mal: "...OK, she won't be winning any beauty contests anytime soon, but she is solid. Ship like this, be with you 'til the day you die."
Zoe: "Because it's a death trap."

Firefly

[Jizzelbin]

Rod Kimble: I thought it would be fun if we all went around and said our name and a little something about ourselves. I'll start. My name is Rod and I like to party. Alright. Dave, you're up.
Dave: Uh, hi, uh, my name is Dave, and, uh, I like to party.
Rod Kimble: Uh, no Dave. I just said that I party so maybe you could do something different from me.
Dave: My name is Dave, and I am the stuntman.
Rod Kimble: You know what, let's move on. Rico, you're up.
Rico: Uh, hello. I'm Rico and I like to party.
Rod Kimble: Yeah, uh, Rico, what'd I just say to Dave?
Rico: Who?"

— Hot Rod

[Elendil's Heir]

Mal: "...You are very much lacking in imagination!"
Zoe: "I imagine that's so, sir."

Firefly

[Jizzelbin]

"Rod: We're gonna jump 15 buses.
Rico: Whoa, come on, Rod. That's nearly as many as Evel Knievel jumped.
Rod: It's actually one more than Evel Knievel jumped, Rico. I know. I checked. Online."

— Hot Rod

[Elendil's Heir]

Mal: "Try to see past what [the ship] is, and on to what she can be."
Zoe: "What's that, sir?"
Mal: "Freedom, is what."

Firefly

[Jizzelbin]

Callahan: "When a naked man is chasing a woman through an alley with a butcher knife and a hard-on, I figure he isn't out collecting for the Red Cross."
Mr. Mayor: "I think he's got a point."

— Dirty Harry

[Elendil's Heir]

Mal: "Yeah, just step around that. I think somethin' must've been livin' in here."

Firefly

[Jizzelbin]

"You never ease off on somebody like that. Not when there's money involved. That's the problem with mercy, kid. It just ain't professional."

— The Color of Money

[Elendil's Heir]

Mal: "Tell you, Zoe, we get a mechanic, get her up and runnin' again, hire a good pilot, maybe a cook. Live like real people. Small crew, them as feel the need to be free, take jobs as they come. Ain't never have to be under the heel of nobody ever again. No matter how long the arm of the Alliance might get, we'll just get ourselves a little further."

Firefly

[Jizzelbin]

"[T]here’s something life-affirming about getting full-on blasted from a massive camouflage can of fruit-flavored jet fuel for $3. Malt liquor is the people’s drink."

— "Four Loko Hard Seltzer Review: What is Four Loko Like in 2020?"

[Elendil's Heir]

Wash: "Monastic humor. I miss out on all the fun."

Firefly

[Jizzelbin]

"I like my tarts where I like my money. Right in my fanny"

— A Tweet from PopTartsUS (verified account) 1-feb-2019

[Elendil's Heir]

Jayne: "Now, Inara - she's gotta have some funny whorin' stories, I'd wager."
Inara: [laughing] "Do I ever! Funny and sexy." [laughs] "You have no idea..." [suddenly serious] "and you never will."

Firefly

[Jizzelbin]

"How'd it get burned? HOW'D IT GET BURNED HOW'D IT GET BURNED HOW'D IT GET BURNED HOW'D IT GET BURNED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

— Nic Cage in the remake of Wicker Man

[Elendil's Heir]

Kaylee (having made a birthday cake, of sorts): "Hope you like it. Couldn't get ahold of no flour, so it's mostly protein. In fact, it's pretty much what we just had for dinner. But I tried to make the frosting as chocolate-y tasting as possible, so...."
Simon: "Thank you. I'm really, I'm, um, very, very deeply moved. Thank you."
Jayne: "Well... deeply move yourself to blow out them candles so we can try a slice."

Firefly

[Jizzelbin]

“When I stepped onto the mat, when I shook hands with you, it was limper than a dishrag, but when I grabbed you, I’d see the expression come over your face and you’d know why I’m here and I want all these people to let you watch the ceiling,”

Danny Hodge, legendary strongman, in Greg Oliver, Pro Wrestling Hall of Fame Heroes

[Elendil's Heir]

Kaylee: "Catalyzer on the port compression coil blew. It's where the trouble started."
Mal: "'Kay, I need that in Captain Dummy-talk, Kaylee."
Kaylee: "We're dead in the water."

Firefly

[Jizzelbin]

“I’ll let you choke me. Before you know it, your wrist is broke — if I want. I take what you give me, but in the long run, I make you give me what I want.”

— Danny Hodge, in Sports Illustrated, 2009

[Elendil's Heir]

River: "You're afraid we're going to run out of air, that we'll die gasping. But we won't. That's not going to happen." [Book looks up at her, hopefully.] "We'll freeze to death first."

Firefly

[Jizzelbin]

"JT: You are here for the job, aren't you?
Nic: You must be Wayne?
Wayne: Yes. And you're Lyle from Dallas, right? Good. Now just, uh, why don't you take your coffee and let's get back into the office."

— Red Rock West

[Elendil's Heir]

Mal: "I'm gettin' a little weary of this attitude, Wash."
Wash [chuckling]: "Are you? Well, I'm so very sorry, sir. I guess the news that we're all gonna be purple and bloated and fetal in a few hours has made me a little snippy."

Firefly

[Jizzelbin]

"Ill have a frozen margarita, and my lady here will take the girliest drink you have."
— Two margaritas coming up!"

— paraphrase of some bit of dialogue from some long-forgotten movie or movies.

[Elendil's Heir]

Wash: "Right! Because teenage pranks are fun when you're about to die!"

Firefly

[Jizzelbin]

"Rich, soft, and long/tall! You must search for a while/long."

— La boum (not exactly what the French dialogue says, but am too lazy to rewind and do the exact...good enough. BTW, I change my opinion, at least the first La boum. It's somewhat amusing, I guess.)

The subtitles in EN are not that good, but good enough, I guess.

[Elendil's Heir]

Mal: "Bester, get your prairie harpy off my boat, and put us back in the air."

Firefly

[Jizzelbin]

"I aint flying nowhere with that crazy sucker Murdoch!"

— if I told you, it would rob the little gray cells of long-term memory

[Elendil's Heir]

Kaylee: "Sometimes a thing gets broke, can't be fixed."

Firefly

[Jizzelbin]

"Norm: Oh, yeah yeah. You know much about the game?
Girl: No, not really.
Norm: Oh, well basically you know I was the greatest hockey player of all time."

— The Norm Show

[Elendil's Heir]

Mal: "If it's Alliance trouble you got, you might want to consider another ship. Some on board here fought for the Independents."

Firefly

[Jizzelbin]

"It's got a cop motor, a 440 cubic inch plant, it's got cop tires, cop suspensions, cop shocks. It's a model made before catalytic converters so it'll run good on regular gas. What do you say, is it the new Bluesmobile or what?"

[Elendil's Heir]

Inara: "That's the last time you get to call me 'whore.'"
Mal: "Absolutely. Never again."

Firefly

[Jizzelbin]

"Oh is that Laurie's sister?
Norm: Oh, yeah, she's just like Laurie except she's hot! Not that Laurie's not hot, it's just I respect Laurie and that kind of wrecks it, you know."

-- The Norm Show

[Elendil's Heir]

Mal: "I'm not leaving Serenity."
Inara: "Mal, you don't have to die alone."
Mal: "Everybody dies alone."

Firefly

[Jizzelbin]

"Laurie: I don't know, I'm a little nervous. I've never, er, done this before.
Norm: Oh. Yeah, well, eating with a fat guy is scary the first time, but, you know, he'll share with you, he's all right.
Laurie: Can I be honest with you, please?
Norm: Oh yeah, sure, but it kind of makes me suspicious of everything you've said up to this point."

The Norm Show

[Elendil's Heir]

Mal: "Which one you figure tracked us?"
Zoe: "The ugly one, sir."
Mal (nods, pauses): "Could you be more specific?"

Firefly

[Jizzelbin]

“The crowd I saw [Cirque du Soleil] with were nothing but red-state, pro-Bush solid American citizens giving standing ovations to the gayest thing I've ever seen in my life.”

--Patton Oswalt

[Elendil's Heir]

Marco: "Do we look reasonable to you?"
Mal: "Well, looks can be deceiving."

Firefly

[Jizzelbin]

"Four fried chickens.
--How you want them, chicken legs, thighs, breasts?
Four whole fried chickens.
--And a coke."

[Elendil's Heir]

Captain: "You woulda done the same."
Mal: "We can already see I haven't. Now get the hell off my ship."

Firefly

[Jizzelbin]

"Do you have any fried chicken, ma'am?
-- Best damned chicken in the state!"

[Elendil's Heir]

Salesman: "Yep. Real beauty, ain't she? Yes, sir. Right smart purchase, this vessel. I tell you what: you buy this ship, treat her proper - she'll be with you for the rest of your life."

Firefly

[Jizzelbin]

"You know how dad taught us the basics of electrical appliance repair?
-- Sure. You leave the appliance powered on, and you use a fork."

-- The Norm Show S03E01

[Elendil's Heir]

Wash (to Inara): "Could you please tell my wife the fun she's missing out on?"
Inara: "Ariel's quite a nice place, actually. There are some beautiful museums, not to mention some of the finest restaurants in the core."
Wash: "But... not boring, like she made it sound."

Firefly

[Jizzelbin]

"Ow! Why is your tongue so sharp! Why do you have to press so hard?"

-- tweet from actress Whitney Moore, co-star of Birdemic.

Safe for work, just amusing.

[Elendil's Heir]

Mal: "No one is setting foot on that fancy rock. I don't want anyone leaving the ship. Come to think of it, I don't want anyone looking out the windows or talking aloud."

Firefly

[Jizzelbin]

Norm: "No, no, Laurie, you got to put it in a way kids will understand. Let me explain it to you this way, Hector. You see, a man has what's called a bunny rabbit. A woman has a cabbage patch. Now, in order to get a baby, the bunny rabbit has to hop into the cabbage patch. Now, sometimes, through no fault of the bunny rabbit, you know, too much to drink, stress, whatever, who knows, maybe he's heard about a bigger bunny rabbit that's been in the cabbage patch earlier, whatever it is. Often times the bunny rabbit has to look at explicit photographs before he can even go near the damn cabbage..."

— The Norm Show

[Elendil's Heir]

Wash: "Big stop just to renew your license to Companion. Can I use 'Companion' as a verb?"

Firefly