Post brief quotes from fiction/narrative/whatever

[Elendil's Heir]

Wash: "Well, if she doesn't get us some extra flow from the engine room to offset the burn-through, this landing is gonna get pretty interesting."
Mal: "Define 'interesting.'"
Wash (deadpan): "'Oh, God, oh, God, we're all gonna die'"?

Serenity

[Jizzelbin]

"Shelly, I'm not fooling around anymore! The first thing you're gonna learn is to have a good attitude. That's the key! Anybody'll tell you that."

— Leo, from *Twin Peaks : Fire Walk With Me*

[Elendil's Heir]

Mal (over intercom): "This is the Captain. We have a little problem with our entry sequence, so we may experience some slight turbulence and then... explode."

Serenity

[Jizzelbin]

"Turn it right of center and you start to pick up the Tweed sounds. Just past noon and you are in the Tweed Bassman range with its mid-range breakup, keep cranking clockwise and this little puppy sound just like an insanely overdriven 1950s Champ."

— anonymous review of the Joyo American Sound amp simulator guitar pedal

[Elendil's Heir]

Dr. Leonard H. McCoy (to Lt. Areel Shaw): "All of my old friends look like doctors. All of his [Capt. James T. Kirk's] look like you."

"Court Martial," Star Trek: The Original Series

[Jizzelbin]

"Things can thus wax erotic, as Sag, who’s wont to thrash around, is restrained by the Ram, sometimes fueling elaborate fantasies for her. Sexy bonds and blindfolds easily elevate ye olde slap and tickle to something that harnesses Sag’s signature skittishness and nervy anticipation."

— some astrology thing I read somewhere online.

[Elendil's Heir]

"Neville Chamberlain looked at foreign affairs through the wrong end of a municipal drainpipe."

British Prime Minister Winston Churchill of his predecessor, a former lord mayor of Birmingham

[Jizzelbin]

"Batman beat the hell out of me and knocked me to the floor. I got back up and knocked him to the floor. He was being such a jagoff."

— Wesley Willis, "I Wupped Batman's Ass"

[Elendil's Heir]

Mal: "Jayne, how many weapons you plan on bringing? You only got the two arms."
Jayne: "I just get excitable as to choice — like to have my options open."

Serenity

[Jizzelbin]

“In the 1990s, if you had a camera, you were a photographer. Nobody had a camera. It was a giant thing you had to wear around your neck, and it looked dorky”

— Jen Kirkman, comedienne

[Elendil's Heir]

Mal: "I don't plan on any shooting taking place during this job."
Jayne: "Well, what you plan and what takes place ain't ever exactly been similar."

Serenity

[Jizzelbin]

“Imitation is the sincerest form of television."

— Fred Allen

[Elendil's Heir]

Zoë: "We crashin' again?"
Mal: "Go talk to your husband."

Serenity

[Jizzelbin]

"Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live!"

— The Love Witch

[Elendil's Heir]

Zoë: "Good to go, sir. Just loading her up." [To Jayne] "Are those grenades?"
Jayne: "Cap'n doesn't want them."
Zoë: "We're robbing the place; we're not occupying it."

Serenity

[Jizzelbin]

"My dick don’t hit the bottom, but I fuck the sides up."

— Bloodhound Gang, "Balls Out"

[Elendil's Heir]

Mal: "Kaylee! Kaylee, what in the sphincter of hell are you playing at? We got the primary buffer panel coming right...."
Kaylee: "Everything's shiny, Captain. Not to fret."

Serenity

[Jizzelbin]

"You will be given large containers to store your urine and a container to urinate into. Make sure you know how to use them."

— "24-Hour Urine Collection | Johns Hopkins Medicine"

[Elendil's Heir]

Mal: "You told me those entry couplings would hold for another week!"
Kaylee: "That was six months ago, Captain."
Mal: "My ship don't crash. If she crashes, you crashed her."

Serenity

[Jizzelbin]

"Allegedly, one time he [jazz guitar legend Barney Kessel] took a break at a gig and put the guitar on his chair. As he started to walk away a fan came up and said, "Man Barney, that guitar sounds great!", to which Barney replied, "Oh yeah, how's it sound now?""

— anecdote about Barney Kessel from unknown source

[Elendil's Heir]

Mal: "Bit of a rockety ride. Nothing to be worried about."
Simon: "I'm not worried."
Mal: "Fear is nothing to be ashamed of, Doctor."
Simon: "This isn't fear. This is anger."

Serenity

[Jizzelbin]

"He belonged to a [petite bourgeoisie de robe...don't know how to translate it exactly, but it can be easily Bingèd or whatever] family."

Fascinating short book about one of the architects of the first French Republican era. No, he's not related to me...it's a pretty common last name.

— Frédéric Augris, François Sébastien Letourneux : Nantais, avocat, ministre et révolutionnaire d'après ses mémoires [sic]

[Elendil's Heir]

Simon: "Now, River, stay behind the others. If there’s fighting, drop to the floor or run away. It’s okay to leave them to die."
Mal: "Doctor, I'm taking your sister under my protection here. If anything happens to her, anything at all, I swear to you I will get very choked up. Honestly, there could tears." [drives off]

Serenity

[Jizzelbin]

“An army without profanity can’t fight its way out of a piss-soaked paper bag.”

— George S. Patton, possibly apocryphal

[Elendil's Heir]

Mal: "Listen up! We are coming down to empty the vault!"
Guard: "You have to give me your authorization password!"
[Jayne fires a couple of rounds of his gun]
Guard: "...Okay."

Serenity

[Jizzelbin]

Driver: "Taking a trip?"
Bronson: "Yeah."
Driver: "Where to?"
Bronson: "Oh, I don't know. Wherever I end up, I guess."
Driver: "Man, I wish I was you."
Bronson: "Really?"
Driver: "Yeah."
Bronson: "Well, hang in there."

— Then Came Bronson

[Elendil's Heir]

Mal (being chased by cannibalistic Reavers): "Faster! Faster! Faster would be better!"

Serenity

[Jizzelbin]

"Dad says that anyone who can't use a slide rule is a cultural illiterate and should not be allowed to vote. Mine is a beauty - a K&E 20-inch Log-log Duplex Decitrig"

— Heinlein Have Space Suit — Will Travel

[Elendil's Heir]

Mal: "They wanna run us down. The up-close kill."
River: "They want us alive when they eat us."
Jayne: "Boy, sure would be nice if we had some grenades, don't you think?"

Serenity

[Jizzelbin]

“A director has to deal with a whole world absolutely teeming with mediocrities, jackals, hangers-on, and just plain killers.”

— Sam Pecknipah

[Elendil's Heir]

Simon: "River, do you want to stay with them?"
River: "It isn't safe."
Simon: "No. I fear it isn't safe anymore."
River: "For them."

Serenity

[Jizzelbin]

"Took on big subjects, may not have been talented enough. — Usually works on his own, in way & fields that are opposed to current stream. — Possible that he feels guilty about not being productive & achieve similar acclaim as he did as a young man."

— Mar. 1970, psychiatrist note re Kurt Gödel, cited in Steph. Budiansky, Journey to the edge of reason : the life of Kurt Gödel

[Elendil's Heir]

Kaylee: "Goin' on a year now I ain't had nothin' twixt my nethers weren't run on batteries!"
Mal [shocked]: "Oh, God! I can't know that!"
Jayne: "I could stand to hear a little more."

Serenity

[Jizzelbin]

"At Lincoln, the elite might fantasize about exterminating radicals through education; [sic] but for Yale's Dean Corwin, the Jews, especially New Haven Jews, were simply hopeless."

— J.E. Breslin, Mark Rothko A Biography (a tremendously engaging bio, although it is a birth-to-grave type endeavor which can be tedious)

[Elendil's Heir]

Mal (greeting identical twins): "Fanty. Mingo."
Mingo: "He's Mingo."
Mal: "He's Fanty. You're Mingo."
Mingo (grins): "How is it you always know?"
Mal: "Fanty's prettier."

Serenity

[Jizzelbin]

“Like to take that cap off?” the bartender asked.
“No, I wouldn’t!” Ignatius thundered. “There’s a chill in here.”
“Suit yourself,” the bartender said and drifted off into the shadows at the other end of
the bar.
“Really!”
“Calm down,” his mother said.
Ignatius raised the earflap on the side next to his mother.
“Well, I will lift this so that you won’t have to strain your voice. What did the doctor
tell you about your elbow or whatever it is?”
“It’s gotta be massaged.”
“I hope you don’t want me to do that. You know how I feel about touching other
people."

— Confederacy of Dunces

[Elendil's Heir]

Simon: "I thought she was getting better."
Jayne: "And I thought they was getting off! Didn't we have an intricate plan how they were gonna be not here anymore?"
Kaylee: "We couldn't leave them now."
Jayne: "No, now that she’s a killer woman, we ought be bringing her tea and dumplings."

Serenity

[Jizzelbin]

"[John Milius] doesn't write for pussies, and he doesn't write for women. He writes for men. Because he's a man."

— Sam Elliott about John Milius in *Milius*

[Elendil's Heir]

Book: "Only one thing is gonna walk you though this, Mal. Belief."
Mal: "You know I always look to you for counsel, but sermons make me sleepy, Shepherd. I ain't looking for help on high. That's a long wait for a train don't come."
Book: "When I talk about belief, why do you always assume I'm talking about God?"

Serenity